“Fake newsletter! Sad!”

This Week:

  • THERESA MAT BOT – Better than the real thing
  • SURVEY RESULTS – Why people unfriend on Facebook?
  • JOHN NOAKES – Photoshop tributes

    B3ta email 675 – 02 Jun 2017

    Read this issue to your mum, she’ll like it:
    http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue675

    Friend b3ta on Facebook:
    https://www.facebook.com/b3tan


    : SPONSORED LINK
    HebTroCo – British Made To Last

    Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life.

    Ed and brant went to the pub and even though they had no previous experience, they somehow decided to start a trouser company. They launched on Kickstarter and sold 176 pairs of trousers in five hours. That was about a year and a bit ago, and they’ve now got British made boots and belts and lots of different trousers too.
    https://www.facebook.com/hebtroco
    http://www.hebtro.co

    BTW: These guys are old B3tans who’ve been reading the site for years. Have a look at their trousers. Go on.


    : THERESA MAY BOT 2.0

    So Theresa is hiding from the media and the public because she’s frankly not very good at public engagement and also needs to spend her time thinking about Brexit.

    So we thought we’d make a bot to speak FOR her. Any media outlets who need an interview then just get on Twitter and chat to her. Job done.
    https://twitter.com/theresa_may_bot


    : TRIVIAL REASONS FOR UNFRIENDING ON SOCIAL MEDIA
    A survey of you lot

    We asked you to tell us reasons you unfollowed people on social media. 250 of you answered and we picked the best.

  • “Seemed appropriate after the divorce”
  • “You won’t see this in the MSM, but..”
  • “They had a smug username”
  • “Having a harry potter themed wedding”
  • “Too many tweets about Porcupine Tree” Read them all:
    http://b3ta.com/blog/unfriending-people-for-trivial-reasons/


    : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
    Other than making sweet sweet linky love

  • DAVID ‘SALAD FINGERS’ FIRTH’S LATEST – it’s called ‘Cream’ and it’s great.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UgiJPnwtQU&

  • HOLLYWOOD MOVIES, IN A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT – DefyingDarwin writes, “Look at my shiny sweaty face… I have hayfever, I can’t go outside, I AM BORED… I found a list of movie quotes… I can do a passable west country accent: this is the sum of all those things!”
    http://b3ta.com/links/1442610

  • KERMODE AND MAYO TO DO THE CLASSIC B3TA QUO – DinivanX writes, “Yas! I Got Kermode and Mayo to Do the Classic B3ta Quo Pose”
    http://b3ta.com/links/1442391


    : LISTEN TO ASHENS PODCAST

    Old B3tan Ashen is now a super popular youtuber with 1.2 million subs. Wow. Anyway his latest project is a podcast. He writes, “There’s nothing more depressing than watching a bad sequel to a film you love. Allow the Sequelisers to alleviate your pain – it’s a fun podcast where two teams pitch ideas for fixing bad sequels to good movies.”
    https://www.sequelisers.com


    : ROGER MOORE GIF TRIBUTE

    This hearse doing a corkscrew jump is the animated gif tribute to Roger Moore you were waiting to see, such a short little thing but absolutely perfect – we’ve been watching it on a loop
    http://b3ta.com/blog/hearse-corkscrew-jump/


    : THREE B3TA PHOTOSHOPS TO REMEMBER JOHN NOAKES

  • The B3tans have been paying tribute to the sadly departed John Noakes and it’s making us emotional
    http://b3ta.com/blog/three-best-b3ta-photoshops-to-remember-john-noakes-by/


    : HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEETELS DR PEPPER

  • 50 this week and old B3tan Chris Shaw has bee researching all the pics that made the ciover.
    http://sgtpepperphotos.wordpress.com #SgtPepper50

  • BONUS: Paul chats up a photographer at the Sgt Pepper launch party. Linda Eastman later became Mrs McCartney.
    https://twitter.com/ChrisShawEditor/status/870182112497987584


    : PLEASED TO GET A SHOUT OUT FROM TOM WATSON
    Deputy Leader of Labout calls b3ta “old”
    “Good old b3ta. Genius, as ever.” writes Tom Watson MP.
    https://twitter.com/tom_watson/status/869957969097535490


    : SITES IN BRIEF
    You know… links

  • STRONG HEADLINE WORK FROM @LRB – “Who’s the real cunt? by Andrew O’Hagan” – on The Daily Mail and Paul Dacre.
    https://www.lrb.co.uk/v39/n11/andrew-ohagan/whos-the-real-cunt

  • PICTURES OF OLD ROBOTS FROM THE 20s-30s, featuring pictures and video of old time robots, not in English but it doesn’t matter.
    https://www.ecofuture.cz/clanek/retro-pohled-do-dob-kdy-roboti-umeli-mluvit-kourit-nebo-hrat-golf

  • “BACK TAE THE FUTURE” – Back to the Future reimagined in Scottish.
    https://twitter.com/BackTaeTheToon

  • “TAINTED BUFFET AT JACKSONVILLE STRIP CLUB BLAMED AFTER SEVERE DIARRHEA INCIDENT ON STAGE” – our second headline of the week after the cunt one.
    http://www.borderherald.com/tainted-buffet-jacksonville-strip-club-blamed-severe-diarrhea-incident-stage/


    : QUESTION OF THE WEEK
    This week: Family Scandals
    What skeletons are there in your family’s collective cupboards? Asks enzyme. Tell us your shameful, scurrilous and generally regrettable family histories… for laughs
    http://b3ta.com/questions/Familyscandals


    : IMAGE CHALLENGE
    Anti Tory Election Posters

    Here’s the best images from last week:

  • TORY XP – Bigger version I done a load of anti-tory posters you can download and print here: www.toriesout.co.uk (spellingmistakescostlives)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11228006

  • PRETTY PLEASE – (HappyToast)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11228227

  • SCHLONG & MABEL – (Smallbrainfield)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11227975

  • See all the other images from the ‘Anti Tory Election Posters ‘ challenge:
    http://b3ta.com/challenge/antitory2017

    >> This week: 404 part 2 << We want you to come up with new ideas for the B3ta 404 (Page not found) message. We’ll take the best ones and use them on the site, so it’s your chance for a little bit of internet fame and immortality.
    http://b3ta.com/challenge/4042


    : SPONSORED LINK
    HebTroCo – British Made To Last

    Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life.

    Ed and brant went to the pub and even though they had no previous experience, they somehow decided to start a trouser company. They launched on Kickstarter and sold 176 pairs of trousers in five hours. That was about a year and a bit ago, and they’ve now got British made boots and belts and lots of different trousers too.
    https://www.facebook.com/hebtroco
    http://www.hebtro.co

    BTW: Yes we’re running the ad twice. Old B3tans. Click them please.


    Follow b3ta on Twitter:
    https://www.twitter.com/b3ta


    TOP TIP: IF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS DOING HIS ‘OH SO IMPORTANT’ GCSE COURSEWORK… – Access the autocorrect function in Word, and replace “Analysis” with “Anal Sex”. 9 times out of 10 they won’t notice until they’ve handed it in. (Furness)
    http://b3ta.com/questions/toptips


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