Oops! Walkers Crisps tweet videos of murderers and sex offenders in a “fully-fledged social media disaster”

“This is not a drill. This is not a drill. Fully-fledged social media disaster currently underway on the Walkers Crisps feed” writes Buzzfeed journalist @Jimwaterson.

Amazing screw up from @walkers_crisps – they’ve allowed unmoderated photos into their official Twitter account and it’s now tweeting out videos of murderers & sex offenders.

Watch the videos!

Here’s the sex offender Rolf Harris video – saved for you in case they delete it:

And murderer Fred West one:

Enjoy the screen grabs!

Murderer Fred West, lovingly cradled in Gary Lineker’s arms!

Granny murderer Harold Shipman as held by BBC football commentator Gary Lineker!

Sex offender and kangaroo artist Rolf Harris, once again held by ex-footballer Gary Lineker!

Who’s that? It’s sex offender Sir Jimmy Savile, the photo thereof held by Gary Lineker (who once shat on the pitch)

And finally murderer Josef Fritzl. And who could that be holding him? Yep it’s Gary Lineker. Phew.

So how did this happen?

Well if you allow members of the public to upload their face and have that appear on the main Walkers twitter account – well you can guess the rest.

PAY FOR SOME MODERATORS GUYS!

And let’s go over live to the internet for some reactions

1.

2.

3.

Epic PR fuck ups is the shit we live for basically

As Elliot Reuben writes, “B3ta and a brand allowing unmoderated content? What is this? 2009? It’s like listening to a nostalgia pop radio station of the internet. Marvellous.”

“Couldn’t have happened to a better company revenge for making such shit crisps 😂” writes @Scotrean.

“2017 has peaked” writes @_johnnykelly.

UPDATE: Amazing. An anonymous B3ta reader has archived ALL the offending videos off to a Google drive – fill your boots. FILL YOUR BOOTS!

UPDATE2: And it’s been closed down. Boo! The fun is over!

So DOES Gary shag crisps?

The internet is captioning this sinister photo of Trump & The Pope

Today it’s all about the captions on this sinister photo.

We’ll start off with some B3ta captions prompted by our tweet before moving to the wider internet.

“Trump oversees merger of Vatican and Scottish Widows” writes Gareth Anthony James.

“The funeral coincided with one of senile Grandpa’s rare happy days” writes @Vichoon.

“I’d watch the fuck out of this Rosemary’s Baby sequel” says @Robmanuel.

“The Abba boys aged a lot worse than the girls” points out @Financejames.

“The final boss progression of the new Mortal Kombat looks brutal” notes @Tombutler over on Twitter.

“Fester? Is it really you?” asks @Buscemian.

“Bucks Fizz announce new tour dates.” writes @Sporrington.

OK. That’s your lot for B3ta ones for the moment… Let’s get on with the wider internet

1.

2.

3

4.

5.

And finally, “Donald Trump doesn’t care about the Pope, he has plenty of guys in white robes who support him.” says @Ohnoshetwitnt.

Is it just us or does Linkedin’s new project Open19’s logo basically read as “penis”?

Also we’re excited to revive the Phallic Logo Award with this late but spectacular entry from Linkedin.

It’s admittedly controversial by being largely text but the judges have consulted the rulebook and it’s still valid.

We can’t quite believe that anyone let this through as their logo.

Surely it’s designers hating their jobs?

Surely it’s designers telling their bosses that they are cocks in the best possible way: by sticking it in the logo.

Look there’s people standing below it!

And more people!

B3ta salutes these fine trollish designers. You’re doing your civic duty.

If you want to know what the Open19 initiative is actually about then The Reg is your friend.

The Phallic Logo Award will be a big event this year: black-tie, TV coverage & celebs.

Make sure you don’t miss it and get your entries in via the usual channels.

This story about Roger Moore meeting a fan is what you need right now to lift your spirits

TV and radio writer Marc Haynes captured the nation’s mood today, when following the terrible news in Manchester we also learned that Roger Moore had sadly passed on.

Marc wrote a story on Facebook about meeting Moore a couple of times: once as a child, and once as an adult.

And in the words of kids today, “it’s all of the feels”

This story vent viral via  Twitter with the fabulous title “This truly wonderful Roger story is soothing my aching soul” but here’s the actual text rather than a screen-grab, and with permission from Marc:

As an seven year old in about 1983, in the days before First Class Lounges at airports, I was with my grandad in Nice Airport and saw Roger Moore sitting at the departure gate, reading a paper. I told my granddad I’d just seen James Bond and asked if we could go over so I could get his autograph. My grandad had no idea who James Bond or Roger Moore were, so we walked over and he popped me in front of Roger Moore, with the words “my grandson says you’re famous. Can you sign this?”As charming as you’d expect, Roger asks my name and duly signs the back of my plane ticket, a fulsome note full of best wishes. I’m ecstatic, but as we head back to our seats, I glance down at the signature. It’s hard to decipher it but it definitely doesn’t say ‘James Bond’. My grandad looks at it, half figures out it says ‘Roger Moore’ – I have absolutely no idea who that is, and my hearts sinks. I tell my grandad he’s signed it wrong, that he’s put someone else’s name – so my grandad heads back to Roger Moore, holding the ticket which he’s only just signed.

I remember staying by our seats and my grandad saying “he says you’ve signed the wrong name. He says your name is James Bond.” Roger Moore’s face crinkled up with realisation and he beckoned me over. When I was by his knee, he leant over, looked from side to side, raised an eyebrow and in a hushed voice said to me, “I have to sign my name as ‘Roger Moore’ because otherwise…Blofeld might find out I was here.” He asked me not to tell anyone that I’d just seen James Bond, and he thanked me for keeping his secret. I went back to our seats, my nerves absolutely jangling with delight. My grandad asked me if he’d signed ‘James Bond.’ No, I said. I’d got it wrong. I was working with James Bond now.

Many, many years later, I was working as a scriptwriter on a recording that involved UNICEF, and Roger Moore was doing a piece to camera as an ambassador. He was completely lovely and while the cameramen were setting up, I told him in passing the story of when I met him in Nice Airport. He was happy to hear it, and he had a chuckle and said “Well, I don’t remember but I’m glad you got to meet James Bond.” So that was lovely.

And then he did something so brilliant. After the filming, he walked past me in the corridor, heading out to his car – but as he got level, he paused, looked both ways, raised an eyebrow and in a hushed voice said, “Of course I remember our meeting in Nice. But I didn’t say anything in there, because those cameramen – any one of them could be working for Blofeld.”

I was as delighted at 30 as I had been at 7. What a man. What a tremendous man.

Amazing isn’t it? We welled up a little reading it and we also got in touch with Marc for a quick chat:

B3ta: How’s it going? Great Roger Moore story!

Marc: I met him twice and now I’ve seen a description of me as “Roger Moore superfan.” Ye gods

B3ta: Nice moment – you broke the mood from stunned horror at Manchester to bittersweet love / melancholy for Moore. You are today, the nation’s DJ – switching us up.

Marc: All I ever wanted to be is Neil Fox.

B3ta: Any comment about your story being so widely shared?

Marc: I think it’s a reflection of how much people have genuine affection for Roger Moore. He was lovely to me both times I met him, and I think that’s what people instinctively felt he was like from seeing him on the screen – that he was a really nice guy. And when I met him, that’s exactly what he was

B3ta: You’re also part of the Bond podcast SmershPod – can you recommend an episode?

Marc: The last one covered Moonraker with Al Murray and it’s great. They LOVE that film which is weird because I can’t stand it. Give me Octopussy any day

B3ta: Is Octopussy your Roger Moore recommendation?

Marc: Man With The Golden Gun is the best. And View to A Kill bad, but great. But Octopussy – first love never dies.

B3ta: We’ve been looking for photos…

Marc: That’s amazing. I hope the papers lead with that shot on the front cover tomorrow.

Anyway thanks to Marc Haynes for sharing his story and cheering us all up.

UPDATE: And here’s the autograph

Watch this video of Theresa May’s nervous thumb tic – she’s not the strong and stable person she pretends to be

So called “strong and stable” Theresa May is anything but, as comedy writer Jason Hazely points out:

Watch the Prime Minister’s right thumb. When she appears in public, it twitches like a trapped rodent. She is a nervous wreck – quite understandably, frankly. But, in poker terms, it is her ‘tell’.

We were desperate to see footage of this and look what turned up in our replies: Phil Hunter who says, “I took a video of this when I noticed it.”

Man, see that thumb go! She’s digging to Australia with that thing.

But why is she doing this? Of course the internet has their theories:

“I think she’s communicating with the grasshoppers” writes @Davechurchley.

“It reminds me of an elephant drinking.” says @Chrisshaweditor.

“It’s like a denuded Fingermouse has relocated to her thumb and then started to manically self-felate. Terrifying” writes David Benjamin Memmott.

“She’s squeezing a pin to try and stop herself from eating a child in full view of the media” writes @Gavincurnow.

“You just made me watch May lightly wanking a ghost. I hate you.” writes @Mvrander.

“The thumbs don’t add up.” says @Cohendave.

Weak and wobbly Theresa. It’s all in the thumbs

If you see more of Theresa’s thumb go wild in this election cycle then get in touch.

UPDATE: SHE’S AT IT AGAIN!

And B3tan Happy Toast has been delivering the photoshop work

Join us on Twitter at #thumbwatch for more sightings of old glum bucket’s thumbs

This BBC Radio Leeds’ quiz about murderer Ian Brady is a bad taste gaffe of epic proportions

This is one of the oddest bits of radio you’re going hear all year.

BBC Radio Leeds presenter Nathan Turvey apparently decided to run a news quiz, you know the type: play some clips of songs and the listeners phone in and guess the theme.

But this time the theme is Moors Murderer Ian Brady.

Yes him. The man who killed five children and died this week, in jail, largely to the cheers of the public.

Here’s the clip – make sure you give it a listen

“And here are your musical clues”, chirps Turvey, “all linked to someone well known who has been in the news this week.”

Cue the music and the first one is All The Young Dudes by Mott The Hoople, “All the young dudes, carry the news…”

Followed by the Theme tune to The Brady Bunch, “That’s the way we became the Brady Bunch.”

Then if you hadn’t been clued-in yet, next is the still controversial track Suffer Little Children by The Smiths, “Over the moor, take me to the moor, dig a shallow grave and I’ll lay me down.”

And finally the not hugely subtle Psycho Killer by Talking Heads.

Then Turvey comes in with his smooth local radio patter, “There you are, four songs, all linked to someone who’s been in the news this week. All you’ve got to do is try and work out who it is.”

Extraordinary isn’t it?

The calm, jocular delivery of a man presumably ended his career in broadcasting.

Now we love a bit of bad taste at B3ta but we’re still incredulous how this happened

What was the guy thinking? Surely it’s career suicide to treat a subject matter so stomach churning-ly awful – on the BBC no less- with chirpy irreverence, unless the point is satire?

And there’s more – here’s where the listeners phone in with their guesses

“Let me remind you of the songs and they’re all linked to someone who’s been making headlines this week” Nathan continues.

“Then we played you this by The Smiths, it’s called Suffer Little Children and it’s all about the Moors Murders – may have given the game away with that one I think.”

“Well done, Ian Brady was the answer we were looking for.”

Then the jingle, “BBC Radio Leeds”

People’s reactions swing between amusement:

And horror:

Still, it’s reminded us that Brass Eye once did this Myra Hindley song in the style of Pulp – with the significant difference that was satire rather than someone losing the plot.

And of course the time The Metro described Ian Brady as “high-profile celebrity”

We’re genuinely fascinated to know what happens next in Turvey’s career – the BBC have apologised (of course) and currently Turvey is in (ho ho) radio silence on Twitter.

Thanks to Monkeon to alerting us to this story via our /links board.

B3ta Newsletter 673 – “READ IT BEFORE THE TORIES BAN INTERNET WORDS”

This Week:

  • JESUS IS A TORY -And we interviewed him
  • HOW CRIMINAL IS YOUR NAME? – Very, we imagine
  • IN PRIVATE EYE – For telling Murdoch to F. Off

    B3ta email 673 – 19 May 2017

    Read this issue via a internet bollock:
    http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue673

    Friend b3ta on Facebook – go on you bastards:
    https://www.facebook.com/b3tan


    : HELLO AGAIN x3

    Week three in the unlikely B3ta newsletter relaunch and we’ve sold an ad (yes, really), and been horribly overambitious again – interviewing Jesus so we’re late. Shit on a bollock. We want to be early. Anyway – on with the content people. It’s CONTENT TIME , but first a word from our sponsor:


    : KNIGHTMARE LIVE – 21st & 28th May
    Sponsored link – yes really, a good one too

    It is like the 1980s again: A tory landslide on the horizon and kids with buckets on their heads is entertainment. Get a shit hair cut and relive your childhood this week with a re-imagining of KNIGHTMARE TV show for the stage.
    https://myticket.co.uk/artists/knightmare-live

    Really – who would believe it? Back three weeks and we’ve sold an ad. Actually one that’s relevant to B3ta readers. KNIGHTMARE LIVE FFS! How good is that? Some some fucking tickets ok?


    : OFFICAL B3TA INTERVIEW WITH JESUS
    OK, ‘Tory’ Jesus

    Yep. Always bringing your exclusives we’re got an interview with Jesus. Yes, Jesus has risen again and he’s come back as a Tory, the fucking Tory arsehole. Make sure you read this – Tory Jesus is fucking brilliant.
    http://b3ta.com/blog/tory-jesus-twitter-account/


    : WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING RECENTLY
    Amazing stuff – truly wonderful things

  • THE NAKED GUN RANDOM INTRO SEQUENCE GENERATOR – Monkeon has made a brilliant thing that plays random gifs in the style of the Naked Gun intro. Turn up the sound.
    http://www.monkeon.co.uk/nakedgun/

  • COMPUTER FUN – a great little visual gag from drivelsieve. Utterly charming.
    http://b3ta.com/links/Computer_fun

  • HOW CRIMINAL IS YOUR NAME – actually a worky project from Matt Round but we’re bunging it in coz it’s very UsVsTh3m – the particular viral mechanism of encouraging people to look up their own name. We recommend looking up Donald.
    https://www.gotocourt.com.au/how-criminal-is-your-name/

  • SAYING GOOD BYE TO DAD – Ornsack’s dad sadly passed away last year and he was best known for making the well-loved kids’ TV show Trapdoor. Ornsack writes, “My dad passed away last March whilst making an animated series in his spare time. I’ve been desperately trying to finish it for him alongside a few of his mates. We are nearly done! Aiming for a March release on trusty-ol’ YouTube. In the mean time local BBC News interviewed me about it over Christmas. YEAH I SHOULD HAVE POSTED THIS EARLIER. Never mind.”
    http://b3ta.com/links/Finishing_My_Dads_Work

  • SHED OF THE YEAR 2007 – the project unclewilco launched on B3ta back in 2007 is going great guns and now is a TV show and subject og a huge Guardian feature. Amazing work old chap.
    https://goo.gl/4qapS7

  • HELP BUILD A FURTIVE BEAR – b3tas are working together to build a Furtive Bear using a collaborative pixel app. Currently there’s huge cock on it. Yay.
    http://pixelcanvas.io/@389,1748


    : GETTING INTO PRIVATE EYE BY TELLING RUPERT
    MURDOCH TO “FUCK OFF”

    Very pleased to get this press clipping from Private Eye about this very newsletter’s editor, who was simply amusing himself one day on Twitter and managed to get the message “Fuck off Murdock” into The Sun online newspaper.
    https://goo.gl/MlqG7w


    : SIX PEOPLE WHO DID DIE IN THE MIDDLE-AGES

    @DeathMedieval is a superb Twitter bot that posts “real deaths from medieval coroners’ rolls” Here’s a handful of our absolute favs:

  • A dead man, found in 1362 by John Atfield, who had not been wounded, but “somewhat lacerated by dogs.”
  • Bertram Polet, found dead in 1271, assumed to have been slain by “evil-doers.”
  • Henry Costentin, died 1267 after his feet slipped and fell upon a pole of his wheat cart, which did penetrate into his fundament (buttocks)
  • Henry, son of Nicholas le Clerk, died at age 14 in 1432, dragged to death by a horse which had been startled by a bird
  • Johanna, daughter of Bernard de Irlaunde, died in 1322, being mortally bitten by a sow while lying in her cradle. The sow valued at 13 1/2 d
  • John Clerk, stabbed in 1366 by by Adam Case with knife thirteen inches long after “opprobrious words” were exchanged in a field.

    Seriously. Shit the bed. You need to follow the fuck out of this.
    https://twitter.com/DeathMedieval


    TWEET OF THE WEEK 1/5 – @sehnaoui

    “People next to me are loud and rude. They just
    found the perfect name for their new business. I
    just bought the domain name.”


    : SWEAR CLOCK UPDATE

    Last week we launched Swear Clock and we’ve noticed that simple direct swears often get the most engagement. But the baroque ones are my favs. So here’s just five from what people are calling “that clock thing that swears”

  • Shit Jesus’s Bed And Wank On A Bible It’s 10:30AM
  • Spunk On A Cottage Pie It’s 10:30AM
  • Fuck An Owl And Blame Alan Shearer It’s 11:30AM
  • Touch Rob Brydon’s Anus With A Porcelain Dog Collection It’s 11:30AM
  • Spunk On A Blankety Blank Chequebook And Pen It’s 11:30PM

    We’re also pleased to see an article in The Metro.
    https://goo.gl/yMxBky

    Also got a lovely mention from from Nick Doody on BBC Radio 4’s “That Was the Tweet That Was”
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b08q60r5

    Getting media attention is a surprise as although we obviously want our projects to be popular and get talked about, Swear Clock really is fucking rude. Not just fucks and cunts, but random and surreal abuse of celebrity’s genitals with mundane objects. On half past the hour – every hour. Fuck yeah.
    http://twitter.com/swearclock


    TWEET OF THE WEEK 2/5 – @PetFran48

    “It is a truth, universally acknowledged, that a
    Tory in possession of a fortune must be in need of
    some more”


    : THREE BEST IMAGES THIS WEEK
    All the good stuff from /board

  • A STAR TREK NOSTALGIC CLASSIC – (Mofaha)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11226508

  • KEEP ‘EM CORBYN – (MrDoucheBags)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11226082

  • TORY MALWARE – (Artist: HSDriver)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11226131


    : VIDEO SCHMIDEO
    Like TV but even shittier

  • THIS “STRONG AND STABLE” DAFT PUNK REMIX IS FUCKING MARVELLOUS
    http://b3ta.com/links/1439250

  • THIS DOCUMENTARY ON ELECTRONIC MUSIC PIONEER DELIA DERBYSHIRE IS ALSO FUCKING MARVELLOUS
    http://b3ta.com/links/1439405

  • NEWSREADERS IN THE PUB IS A PRETTY GOOD SKETCH
    http://b3ta.com/links/1440187

    Right. That’s enough video. If you want loads of video go to the popular bit of /links. Loads of fucking video there sunshine.
    http://b3ta.com/links/popular/


    TWEET OF THE WEEK 3/3 – @somecleverthing

    “Your Joke Is Factually Incorrect – A Guide to
    Dying Alone”


    : BUY MUSHYBEES T-SHIRTS

    We ballsed up the link to Mushybees t-shirt last week shop – so here’s the correct one.

    We recommend classics like “don’t vote Tory” and “Piers Morgan is a bell end”
    https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/mushybeestees


    : THINGS WE’D LIKE TO SEE THIS WEEK
    Yes, you can star in this newsletter

  • COOKING WITH SPECTRUMS – There’s a niche but potentially funny YouTube video idea in this. Set up your ZX in kitchen and try and cook along
    https://twitter.com/PulpLibrarian/status/864904222063689728

  • KICKSTOPPER – donate to prevent tedious journalists posting their terrible takes

    TWEET OF THE WEEK 4/5 – @dotmund

    “Iggy Pop was 70 this year. I know this because of
    the song 1969, in which he states that he was 21
    the previous year”


    : SLOGANS MANGLED BY MAY

    In the week where Theresa May actually said “what it is says on the tin is what they will get” we were amusing to see people making their own #slogansmangledbymay

  • “In order to return the freshness, we must not only do the vacuuming, but also shake.” –
  • “Iron Brew, Made in The North from Bollards” –
  • “My friend Marmite” –
  • “They’re tasty, and tasty
  • means
  • tasty.” –
  • “Go to work after eating an egg” –
  • “Enjoy a rest with your Kit Kat” –

    Suggestions from @petetavna, @Okeating, @DanielMudford, @mrwriterman79, @GeeItSomeLaldy, @JoeScaramanga.


    TWEET OF THE WEEK 5/5 – @ZoeTomalin

    “Getting BBC news alerts at the moment is like
    being in a Whatsapp group with Satan”


    : IMAGE CHALLENGE
    Make Corbyn Electable

    Here’s the best images from last week:

  • “HE’S JEREMY, JEREMY, JEREMY RIMMER, WITHOUT HIM LIFE WOULD BE MUCH GRIMMER…..” ETC. – (Barbarossa)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11225810

  • KEEP ‘EM CORBYN – (MrDoucheBags)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11226082

  • “I’M FREE!” – (Q4nobody)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11225770

  • See all the other images from the ‘Make Corbyn Electable’ challenge:
    http://b3ta.com/challenge/corbynelectable

    >> This week: After TV << What jobs do fictional tv characters do after their shows have finished? Show us with the power of computational image manipulation what line of work Yogi bear went in to, how Captain Picard funds his continuing space trips and how The Fonz pays his leather jacket and RSI thumb surgery bills.
    http://b3ta.com/challenge/aftertv


  • FINALLY A GOOD USE FOR FACEAPP – This guy going around a museum and using FaceApp to add smiles to classical art is such a good idea. Would be lovely to try this in a UK gallery too.
    https://goo.gl/LruamB


    : REJECTED (BUT GOOD NEWSLETTER TITLES)
    Fuck it, it’s good content brad

  • ENTERING YOUR INBOX LIKE A SEX-STARVED JULIAN ASSANGE (TRIBS)
  • FUCK ME OVER A BARREL IT’S HALF PAST NEWSLETTER O’CLOCK (BARBAROSSA)
  • JULIAN ASSANGE SHOULD BE ARRESTED FOR THE CRIME OF DRESSING A CAT IN A SHIRT AND TIE (SMALLBRAINFIELD)
  • WE’RE STILL BACK AND TORIES ARE STILL CUNTS (MANIC)
  • NO NEWSLETTER IN HISTORY HAS BEEN TREATED WORSE THAN THIS (ARNIIE)
  • ANOTHER B3TA NEWSLETTER. WE’RE GOING TO KEEP MAKING THESE UNTIL YOU SEND US ENOUGH BITCOINS (ENCELADUS)
  • THE OFFICIAL 2017 PROCRASTINATION MANIFESTO (@TWEETSBYJT)
    http://b3ta.com/board/11226621


    : EVERY SINGLE THING MARK E SMITH HATES
    According a wonderful 1987 magazine feature

  • Brown bread with bits in it
  • All Sunday papers
  • Mature guys with ponytails
  • Scotch pop groups featuring pseudo intellectuals
  • The Cure’s one record
  • All Welsh groups
  • All new American groups
  • All Dutch groups
  • Anything connected with New Model Army
  • Chablis wine V
  • Vietnam War
  • Iran/Iraq War
  • Mexican food
  • Berlin
  • Leeds
  • American football
  • Mike Smith
  • Nescafe
  • All fruit juice
  • Boddie and Waddle
  • Embassy No 1
  • Marlboro 100’s
  • Royal Air Force
  • Eddie Murphy
  • British science fiction
  • Stephen King
  • All new American and British cartoons
  • British Electricity
  • France (permanent)
  • Martin Amis
  • Pop stars in new silver cars
  • Rock on television
  • Plastic grebos in Doctor Martens boots. (You’d never get a real biker to wear them.)
    https://twitter.com/20thcenturymarc/status/863770679132520450


    : KNIGHTMARE LIVE – 21st & 28th May
    Sponsored link – yes really, a good one too
    It is like the 1980s again: A tory landslide on the horizon and kids with buckets on their heads is entertainment. Get a shit hair cut and relive your childhood this week with a re-imagining of KNIGHTMARE TV show for the stage.
    https://myticket.co.uk/artists/knightmare-live

    Yes we’ve repeated the ad at the bottom. It’s called trying to play nice with the people who waved money at us. It’s a good idea.


    : CREDIT
    Edited by Rob Manuel & David Stevenson.
    Newsletter title by Mighty Nibus.


    Follow b3ta on Twitter:
    https://www.twitter.com/b3ta


    TOP TIP: SAVE TIME! – The next time somebody asks you what the time is just walk past them. I’ve calculated that If I had done this since the age of 20 I would have saved myself a whole 5 days. Also works for directions and requests for assistance. I’m a shit policeman I really am. (Woolworth)

    Add your own ‘top tip’ at:
    http://b3ta.com/questions/toptips

  • Well done to Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood‏ for this “Eddie Hitler” Paul Nuttall diss

    One of the odder moments of ITV’s Leaders Debate last Thurs was UKIP leader Paul Nuttall calling both Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood‏ AND Green Party leader Caroline Lucas “Natalie”.

    If you didn’t watch the clip, then watch the wretched pillock in action here:

    Anyway – good to see Plaid Cymru leader Leanne Wood‏ get her own back with this fine tweet:

    And there is no question Nuttall IS the absolute twin of Bottom star Eddie Hitler.

    Also, in other news:

    Well done to the Wikipedian who’s sneaked this edit into the “impeachment” page

    Enjoying this sentence that briefly appeared in the Wikipedia “impeachment” page – we got in quick before it was taken down:

    impeachment

    “Impeachment” is the process by which a legislative body formally levels charges against a high official of Government and kicks his fat orange ass to the curb.

    Source: wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Impeachment

    Wonder what that could possibly mean?