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From the General election: Photoshop Tories challenge. See all 411 entries (closed)

(manwiddicombe is thinking of something witty to add here, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:41, archived)

anyone actually read the manifesto yet?

( Dr Scunner She’s a he, technically, but she’s scalding hot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:43, archived)

Read the what now?
Do you mean the "This is what they want to hear fairy tale book"?
( Joe Scaramanga and the Tiny Jack the Ripper Trio, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:44, archived)

Shush - the telly's on.

( A Vagabond , a bovine masturbation century, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:45, archived)

Homes Under the Hammer?
I loves that
( Joe Scaramanga and the Tiny Jack the Ripper Trio, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:45, archived)

I can't wait for Eamonn Holmes Under MC Hammer

( Mighty Nibus SHUT UP YOU NOISY FUCKING GREEKS, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:47, archived)

You can't touch this... pie

( Joe Scaramanga and the Tiny Jack the Ripper Trio, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, archived)

I liked the film better

( mediocre HONKA HONKA, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:45, archived)

I'm a little busy presently.
rubbing shit in my eyes.
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:45, archived)

You're not supposed to read it!
Jesus Christ on a bike, if people read manifestos, they'd actualy be taking responsibility for the future of the country instead of blindly putting a tick in the box next to the party their parents voted for. That'd bugger up the whole status quo, and then where would we be?

People might start asking questions. That's where. Before you know it, they'd want to know why their democraticaly elected representatives weren't representing them at all, and toeing the party line instead.

Then they might start wondering why they needed representing at all, and why they couldn't vote on major issues of the day themselves, given how easy it is to organise with the internet.
( Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:48, archived)

and then
if you vote for them, you're implicitly agreeing with *everything* in the manifesto - "Well, the public voted for it so we must do it"

such a lot of fuss over a little cross in a box

we should all just have marshmallows instead
( Mighty Nibus SHUT UP YOU NOISY FUCKING GREEKS, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:50, archived)

It's not like they'll stick to it anyway
How long did it take Labour to introduce tuition fees after explicitly promising they wouldn't in their 1997 manifesto? A year? Two?
( Emvee Stark The King in the North London, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, archived)

*ahem*
How about re-nationalising the fucking Railways!!!!!!
From 1997 as well...
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:54, archived)

oh yeah
still waiting for that one

the snivelling lying fucking cunts
( Emvee Stark The King in the North London, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:55, archived)

I like the sound of that.
We should replace the title format for MP's with it.

Going from:
The Right Honourable Fred Fredderson, Member of Parliament

To:
Fred Fredderson the Snivelling Lying Fucking Cunt

Everybody would know where they stood, then.
( Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:05, archived)

Even the media don't read them, really
How else to explain no mention of the Broadband goof in ANY of the mass media outlets.
( Joe Scaramanga and the Tiny Jack the Ripper Trio, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:51, archived)

because computers are for geeks
not the public
( Mighty Nibus SHUT UP YOU NOISY FUCKING GREEKS, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, archived)

...fees start at £31,000 for boarders

(chriky, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:46, archived)

What?
Not the collies?!


'ningles b3tards.

Just had to get rid of a very creapy guest. Seemed to think that it was perfectly acceptable for him to follow female guests to their rooms, knock on their doors and ask them to have sex with him.

He was genuinely surprised and appauled that myself and guests took exception to this.
( riverghost Full on. Robot. Chubby!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:49, archived)

you should dress up as a laydee for him
that'd shit him right up
( Mighty Nibus SHUT UP YOU NOISY FUCKING GREEKS, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:51, archived)

this.
Then start following him around and insist that he have sex with you.
( A Vagabond , a bovine masturbation century, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:54, archived)

hahaha
I literally had to be on his case for an hour after check out time to get. Each time he said he was going, I even had to take his laptop off the network.
When he finally vacated the room an hour after he was meant to he though it would be fine to stick around to have a cup of tea.
( riverghost Full on. Robot. Chubby!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:07, archived)

and that's your job, isn't it Ghostie?
Sorry, too harsh.
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:52, archived)

hell yeah:)

( riverghost Full on. Robot. Chubby!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:08, archived)

Sorry about that
I'll use rohypnol next time
( Emvee Stark The King in the North London, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:53, archived)

AND I WUDDUV FUCKD DEM FRIGID BITCHES IF IT WASN 4 U MEDDLIN KID

( Michael Ellis [signature removed by moderator], Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:56, archived)

It's not his fault you're place is full of lesbians

( Joe Scaramanga and the Tiny Jack the Ripper Trio, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:03, archived)

Arf!

( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:04, archived)

I think it is
They weren't when they arrived:P
( riverghost Full on. Robot. Chubby!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:08, archived)

Well at least he asks!!!!!!!11!!!!

( Barbarossa Barbarossa Barbarossa Barbarossa Barbarossa, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:04, archived)

It's not rape if you shout, 'surprise!'

( riverghost Full on. Robot. Chubby!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:09, archived)

It's not rape if you kill them afterwards

( Michael Ellis [signature removed by moderator], Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:12, archived)

*guilty office LOLS"

( Joe Scaramanga and the Tiny Jack the Ripper Trio, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 13:40, archived)

I'll just add this here

( Mighty Nibus SHUT UP YOU NOISY FUCKING GREEKS, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:47, archived)

Haha
best one yet!
( The Coast Of Yemen, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:49, archived)

:D
Excellent.

*clicks*
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:50, archived)

I loled

(chriky, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:53, archived)

it's tragic because it's true

( Emvee Stark The King in the North London, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:56, archived)

Hahaha

( Barbarossa Barbarossa Barbarossa Barbarossa Barbarossa, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 11:56, archived)

hahaha

(rattlehead CAPTAIN, HE IS AGAIN ALL TIME TOUCHING MY PARSNIP, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:00, archived)

hahaha....brilliant
:D
( E Dubya "book cover judge", Tue 13 Apr 2010, 12:32, archived)

hahahaha...
Brilliant!! :)
( Ninj Skol 9% ABV FTW, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 12:49, archived)

WIN.

(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Wed 14 Apr 2010, 18:07, archived)

And it's not my fault!
I was 17 at the last election, therefore I still absolve myself of all blame for another month.

It was you lot, you horrible oiks.
I hope you all feel ashamed.
( Quijibo Esq. BSc. Stop ITV! http://dontruinthecrystalmaze.com, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 22:37, archived)

On the Money
and winner,
( UHMUHRAKA! I hate pendantic cunts, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 23:04, archived)