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[challenge entry] Why pay thruppence for gym membership?

From the Old Time Adverts challenge. See all 169 entries (closed)

(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 0:22, archived)
# Wow!
Congrats for unearthing footage of the very first Human League gig.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 0:28, archived)
# Actual LOL :D
(Drimble Show me, don't tell me, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 0:36, archived)
# Aw,
fanks!
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 0:38, archived)
# Most efficacious in every case.
(Drimble Show me, don't tell me, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 0:49, archived)
# Where does one purchase a wonderous contraption such as this?
(Troutman Roflcocks A glass of port... don't mind if I do., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 0:54, archived)
# Argos.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 0:56, archived)
# Then I shall sally forth to Argos, and aquire the contraption.
... or I would, if it weren't for the fact that it's night-time, and there was a lady of the night helping a drunken fellow relieve himself in the doorway.
(Troutman Roflcocks A glass of port... don't mind if I do., Tue 5 Apr 2011, 1:06, archived)
# In the keen chill of this early spring evening,
surely the charitable thing to do would be to to invite these unfortunate strays into the warmth of a nearby tavern, where the three of you could warm yourselves with a drop or two of good cheer.
Before you bugger both of 'em and dash their brains out on the cobblestones, guffawing, before retiring to your parlour for a glass of Port and a slice of game pie.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 1:24, archived)
# You forgot the
throwing your cape over your shoulder bit........

And defogging your monacle whilst you sneer down at your victims...
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 1:28, archived)
# Yes, you're right, old chap.
And the hollow tap-tap-tap of my silver-tipped cane as I stroll toward Whitechapel and melt into the fog.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 1:38, archived)
# Drinkies in the
Hellfire Club this week as usual?

I think have a thirst for a crate or two of the finest Scotch...
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 1:42, archived)
# Capital! As the White King suggests. One could benefit from a tickle of single malt upon the whiskers...
...and in the morning, we hunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Sea Tramp the thinking woman's 8 Ace, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 2:05, archived)
# I believe that
Dr Moriarty was a consultant during the filming of Jacob's Ladder.
(I helped save b3ta! Jabberwoc misses D.R. and Quinch, Tue 5 Apr 2011, 1:13, archived)