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# Official Brian Blessed T-Shirt Compo Tiebreaker


Here's a little competition we're running in the newsletter this week. We've got 5 Brian Blessed T-Shirts to give away and you just have to complete a tiebreaker. 5 best replies (according to our judges) get a shirt.

The tiebreaker is 'I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...' (50 words or less.)

Or if you want to buy one they're £15.
www.blessedoriginals.co.uk/tshirt.php

UPDATE: WINNERS ANNOUNCED! Bourbon Fox, Pobblepop, Gronkpan, SauronWibble and Rev. Jayneflakes.
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:47, archived)
# ... I like loud clothes.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:49, archived)
# Fuck, I mis-read that as "5 words or less."
Otherwise, I'd have answered "... a loud t-shirt would go with my loud tie."

Which was equally lame.
(I helped save b3ta! Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:51, archived)
# Strangely enough
I read it as "5 words or less" too. TWICE. I think my eyes must have gone rancid. Or something.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:24, archived)
# Slightly confused.
The site will take payment but not ask delivery details!!!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:32, archived)
# This could be some kind of scam - or possibly scamola!
Maybe you have to collect it yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:35, archived)
# Silly wuffle. Obviously Brian 'King of the Hawk Men' Blessed will swoop down and deliver it!
DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:42, archived)
# D'oh!
So long as the Blessed Angel sings then all will be well.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:47, archived)
# This is SCIIIIIIIIENCE!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:57, archived)
# Paypal nonsense
Hmmm.... sorry, I've run through the payment details a few times, was fine when we tested it. In truth its only Paypal, all it does is pass my details and the t-shirt size to Paypal then everything else is collected by them, what with them being much better at internet security than me, and all. Are you using your Paypal account (in which case maybe the problem is that they already know your delivery details, which is why they're not asking) or are you using your credit card as a guest account?

I can feel Google checkout coming on....
(ruminator Never knowingly overestimated, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:23, archived)
# Congrats on your seventh message:D
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:14, archived)
# my flabby, naked chest disgusts women and the police demand I keep it covered in public.
(I helped save b3ta! wheelybird mreee!, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:49, archived)
# "...I've only got one leg"
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:50, archived)
# hahaha!
*loves bottom*



- that could be misunderstood
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:47, archived)
# You looking for good time mister?
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:01, archived)
# hahah
"clever bastard!"
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
# that's all very nice but I like black not red plus it looks more like Leo McKern than Brian Blessed
do I win?
EDIT: who is sexeh lady?
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐʇƐ𐐒 ʞɔnℲ uooW, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:51, archived)
# I think it looks like Ricky Grover/Buller...
EDIT: The T-Shirt looks like Buller not the lady...
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:12, archived)
# BULLER! :D
(I helped save b3ta! hekim 66 ɐʇƐ𐐒 ʞɔnℲ uooW, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:23, archived)
# He loves his mum
And handing out 'Peckham smiles'
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:57, archived)
# its a photo
And not of Leo McKearn, surprisingly.
(ruminator Never knowingly overestimated, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:27, archived)
# ... my tie-dye codpiece isn't loud enough.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:52, archived)
# tie-DDDDDDYYYYYYVVVVE
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:52, archived)
# It screams so I don't have to.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:52, archived)
# I'm remaining defiant
www.b3ta.com/board/10677685
(I helped save b3ta! Clay hopes this bit is long enough to promote my websi, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:52, archived)
# I need to check my oil.
(I helped save b3ta! BorisKarloff is in the back of the classroom forever, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:53, archived)
#
it will protect me in my hunt for the Yeti
(pdjpdj, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:55, archived)
# My others are all getting a bit threadbare, and I quite like the design.
(I helped save b3ta! barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:56, archived)
# then I’d have a red Brian Blessed T-Shirt, if they’re red, or is there a choice? I like blue but Blessed as Guevara works better on red so I would choose that. I've just remembered that there's a photo of the T-shirt right there and it is red. Or maybe or
-ange

Damn, 51 words.

And I've discovered a character limit in the subject box!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:56, archived)
# ...if I went outside without a shirt, I would catch a cold and DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:57, archived)
# DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!
That is all.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:58, archived)
# I'd like a t shirt nice compo people because Mr. Blessed says
GIVE HIM THAT FUCKING SHEEPTAMPERING, ARSEFELCHING PISSING WANKNOBBLED, SQUIRREL-TITTIFYING MANSALT OF A CLOTHING ITEM! IF YOU DON'T I'LL KICK YOUR DOGS SO HARD IN THEIR ARSES I'LL HAVE NEW SLIPPERS! DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!!!
Thanks muchly
(I helped save b3ta! riverghost servicing your mum since, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:58, archived)
# ...nothing scares the enemy more than a scowling giant wearing a beret.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:58, archived)
#
... I'm up for the chance to get anything without paying because I'm a right stingey cunt
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 13:59, archived)
# Hahaha! You're on a winner there, fella!
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:00, archived)
# BECAUSE IT'S FUCKING COLD UP FUCKING EVEREST!
(I helped save b3ta! Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:02, archived)
# Why can I never think of anything witty at moments like these :(
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:02, archived)
# ...it's my B3taday and all I got was this lousy 2mb animated gif on the FP.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:03, archived)
# ^ FORK HANDLES!
FORK HANDLESFIVE CANDLES - Happy 4 years, 11 months and 27 days

CAKE
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:40, archived)
# Cheers, WB.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:09, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because I sweat profusely and require clean clothing
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:05, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because I walk around in sewers and most of my clothes smell like shit
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:06, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because I have sperm stains on all my other t-shirts
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:09, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because I'm running out of things to wrap the bodies in
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:11, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because I'm a tight fisted fucker that normally gets my clothes from ebay
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:12, archived)
# I fail to see how this predicament is unique to you.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:12, archived)
# I have also ejaculated on other peoples t shirts
*edit

CANDLES :D
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:13, archived)
# I wondered whose that was...
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:14, archived)
# stop being so damn sexy then
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:17, archived)
# HOLY FUCK LET'S ALL JIZZ ON EACH OTHER
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:18, archived)
# Ain't no party like a jizz party
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:20, archived)
# This should be on a T-Shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:27, archived)
#
The newsletter subject line compo isn't for another few days yet, but thank you for your contribution.
( rob twitter.com/robmanuel is following you, In The Year, 25:25, Add friend, Ignore, Hide, I like this!, Reply)

 
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:28, archived)
# Gah, now you've jinxed it.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:35, archived)
# Happy candle day! :D
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:15, archived)
# *high fives*
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:19, archived)
# hey rob
why not give all 5 to Riverghost's Charity B3ta Auction instead?
(I helped save b3ta! Clay hopes this bit is long enough to promote my websi, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:05, archived)
# THIS^^
(I helped save b3ta! da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 19:11, archived)
# .... I have spend all my money on Gif compression software !
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:06, archived)
# AHahaha ^ this
(I helped save b3ta! Whato_Jeeves Did your surgery require a vaginal mesh patch?, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:10, archived)
# "...bugger, shit, fuck, shit, fucking sphincter, arsehole, up your arse, up your cunt, fuck you sideways you fucking boring fucking whore."
As the great man said himself.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:11, archived)
# ...it looks like it comes with a lady in it and it would be nice to have a lady in a T-shirt especially if it was just the T-shirt. I've got myself all hot and bothered now and could do with a clean T-shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:13, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/10695052
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:15, archived)
#
www.b3ta.com/board/10695058
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:17, archived)
# I wonder how many albino models there are in the uk?
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:19, archived)
# We should endeavour to find out
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:21, archived)
# A quick google images check and there are quite a few world wide
this guy scares me

(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:22, archived)
# I typed I need albino women into google, but it didn't help much
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:26, archived)
# That's not a lady.
Clearly a boy.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:24, archived)
# A boy with tits?
Whatever next!
(I helped save b3ta! Wasp Box like a nervous random stranger at a glory hole, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:27, archived)
# dA/b3ta Super Site!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:30, archived)
# ...I need something to wear to my friend's mother's funeral. I hope I don't stand out too much.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:15, archived)
# This reply needs more love :)
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:23, archived)
# You mean, like, a Brian Blessed T-shirt? :D
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:56, archived)
# ...I am a massive wanker
(I helped save b3ta! Michael Ellis contributes nothing, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:15, archived)
# "PALM PILOT?! SOUNDS LIKE A WANKING MACHINE!" - Brian Blessed.
(I helped save b3ta! Fresh Water Mole loves his baby boy more and more every day, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:20, archived)
# Hahahaha
(I helped save b3ta! mofaha ┐( ˘_˘)┌ ʅ(́◡◝)ʃ, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:40, archived)
# O_o
(I helped save b3ta! Wobbly Bloke Hello, did I miss anything on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:45, archived)
# HAHA
(I helped save b3ta! Bish0p, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:26, archived)
# Because....
Guevara's Aliiiiiiiiiiive!

(seriously, why couldn't you donate at least one to the B3ta Auction?)
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:17, archived)
# sure
I've got a signed copy of one of Brians books, some original Flash film cells, a signed pantomime program (also starring Toyah Wilcox) and a T-shirt.
(ruminator Never knowingly overestimated, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:34, archived)
# because I know where you live...
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:19, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because.....
I'm a cunt. Is that enough?
(I helped save b3ta! hooker1uk Filth monger of the lowest degree!, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:20, archived)
# I have just bought one and I need a spare
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:21, archived)
# ...OTHERWISE I WILL KILL AGAIN
(I helped save b3ta! The Silent Channel is getting his recommended 5-a-day, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:21, archived)
# ...I've already spent hundreds on thyroid gland sugery.
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:21, archived)
# Really?
I had mine done at Bupa and it cost thousands.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:26, archived)
# I wanted them to make me sound more like the big man himself.
I think they botched it.

DIIIIIIiIiiiiiIiiiiiuuuuuvuh!
(I helped save b3ta! Bourbon Fox Bourbon is a moron, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:30, archived)
# If only....
it gave me a voice like his! It's slightly deeper than it was before but with an annoying raspy quality. Not forgetting, of course, that I'm a gurl.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:34, archived)
# Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes
Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes Cornflakes
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:25, archived)
# Ha ha, I think this should win.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:31, archived)
# Oooh
happy flaming red thingy day!
(I helped save b3ta! claptonista ,the idiot boy.........., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:34, archived)
# Ta.
It depresses me that 2007 was five years ago. And not just because it involves maths.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:36, archived)
# Everyone listen to what he/she said.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:43, archived)
# If I try and stick my cock up my arse I look like a girl.
It must be flaccid. That's essential.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:13, archived)
# I say 'if'.
Of course, I mean 'when'.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:14, archived)
# Hahahaha!
*gets oldschool reference*
(I helped save b3ta! Weetobix, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:44, archived)
# ...its easier to explain to the Mrs than Brian Blessed underpants
(UTB, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:25, archived)
#
+ why
+'s
+ are in amongst your porn stash
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:41, archived)
#
because the one belonging to my dyslexic Downs Syndrome son was ruined when I put it in too hot a wash. Yes, it was Brian Damaged. Oh.
(I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:30, archived)
# Get out.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:30, archived)
# *Bows and leaves, brimming with the smug knowledge that the t-shirt is as good as his*
(I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:09, archived)
# ...
(I helped save b3ta! Bryan Damage Cheese sandwich?, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:39, archived)
# ...because it's my 8th b3taday today
and I need to look cooler than the other kids.
(empty head, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:31, archived)
# That's not going to happen.
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:36, archived)
# 8 years and still no donation
(I helped save b3ta! Paul_P http://www.Paul-hub.com, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:01, archived)
# I give my spare dole to
Sainsburys basic range instead though.
(empty head, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 21:26, archived)
# Because this is worth unlurking for.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:37, archived)
#
...I'm too young to wear a Che Guevara shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! inexpressible started a joke on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:42, archived)
# because i was just in a car crash, it hurts when i breathe and my leg is not in a good way
Also because kind strangers have put me up in a caravan for the night and so far they havent tried to rape me. So yeah, because of the kindness of strangers.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:42, archived)
# Wait until dark....
(I helped save b3ta! Brandy_Bumwinkle, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:44, archived)
# it's 2am
We crashed at 11pm.

I look forward to being near a hospital tomorrow, pretty impressed they have phone coverage here
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:50, archived)
# Hope you're ok mate
Heal fast
(I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
# god, i actually thought you were joking at first
sorry :( get to a hospital and get better fast
(I helped save b3ta! boris the spider, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:02, archived)
# Me too...
I'm really sorry to hear that it's all true. Hope you can get everything sorted without too much hassle and that you heal up quickly. Thank goodness that strangers can still be kind in this day and age.
(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:41, archived)
#
What ^they said
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:53, archived)
# cheers guys
I'll be fine, probably just a cracked rib and a fracture somewhere in my leg. More rattled than anything else. My mate is also fine.

Remember to buy expensive tires and have a car with airbags.
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:08, archived)
# Jesus fuck.
Get well soon.
(I helped save b3ta! An Eagle in Your Mind, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:21, archived)
# eep, hope you are ok
hows the car?
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:25, archived)
# http://www.b3ta.com/board/10695217
Sorry guys i dont keep it uo tonight, thankyou all for your well wishes. www.b3ta.com/board/10695217
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:55, archived)
# i'llbe back in sydney tomorrow and will be angry for fucks
(I helped save b3ta! gronkpan https://twitter.com/VomitingLarry, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:02, archived)
# Jeepers
hope you're okay feller
(I helped save b3ta! mediocre ha ha ha, you're reading this, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:50, archived)
# Oh fuck! They can't take my gronkpan away! Hang in there man!
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:33, archived)
# Fuck!
So much for "lucky devil"! Hope you are well soon!
(I helped save b3ta! RedHouse over yonder, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 16:24, archived)
# "I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because..."
the fat man makes me laugh. I want one so much I'm tempted to buy one, but I'm also cheap, like your mum, so I'd rather win one instead.
(chrisedebo has found a sentence that fits in his signatu, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:45, archived)
#
Because I've got your wife and child with me now, would you like to speak to them?
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:47, archived)
# he agreed to be the godfather of my as-yet unconceived children in the b3ta interview last year
and frankly, he owes me one
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:53, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
he constantly mocks me by having a tshirt with my face on it, so its only fair.
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:55, archived)
# ...a Blessed t-shirt on my brawny belly would prevent my armpits from becoming smelly, i've worn my others far too much and they're starting to smell like ovens dutch.
(I helped save b3ta! Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 14:57, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
I want people to hear my fashion sense before they see it.

(oh and because ive enclosed a fiver, mums the word)
(I helped save b3ta! Victor Meldrew, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:01, archived)
# I'm not loud enough already
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:05, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed t-shirt
because I look just enough like Brian Blessed for people to stop and say “You’ve got a picture of yourself on your t-shirt” then I can say “Actually it’s Brian Blessed” then they can say “Oh yes you do look a bit like him” then I can go home and tell my mum that someone mistook me for Brian Blessed again.
(I helped save b3ta! Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:10, archived)
# what an exceptionally entertaining potential anecdote!
(I helped save b3ta! discomeats This canoe, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:13, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
I'd donate it to Happytoasts charity auction and they need the money.
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:12, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
It would be an extra week that I didn't need to go to the laundrette
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:14, archived)
# I will pose in it without wearing a brassiere beneath, and shall post the resulting photo on B3ta.
I may or may not be male and/or obese. Choose me at your own risk.
(I helped save b3ta! Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:15, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
It would come in handy to wipe my arse on.
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:16, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
I don't already own enough shit tee shirts
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:22, archived)
# ...because I'M Brian
and so is my wife
(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:23, archived)
# Easy
My bitch tits would make him look like he had bulging eyes and my beer gut would give his a proper 3D follow you around the room beard. I'd wear in on stage and it will make my crap jokes funnier.
(waxdart hello., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:24, archived)
# ... my Tosh Lines underpants have worn out
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:24, archived)
# haha
Hes still cut up over viv martella
(I helped save b3ta! yanmania... last shagged your mum on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:50, archived)
# ... what better way to celebrate the Queen's diamond jubilee?
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:26, archived)
# ... I've got a Z-cars convention coming up
(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:28, archived)
# 50 words or less
Less what?

Grammar nazi boiling piss
(I helped save b3ta! Tonsil is slowly atrophying, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:30, archived)
# You demand Führer words you nazi svine....
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:02, archived)
# isn't it rule 3 in this?
oxforddictionaries.com/words/less-or-fewer
(I helped save b3ta! rob, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:32, archived)
# No
but don't worry, I don't have any boiling piss, it was just an idle threat. But...hold on a minute... I have the ability to produce piss and a kettle...
(I helped save b3ta! Tonsil is slowly atrophying, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:02, archived)
# "I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because..."
His beardy manliness would feel like ambrosia on my nipples
(I helped save b3ta! SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:42, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
Everyone could see how bad his Richard Thompson impression is.
(The invisable man Is having a long lazy soak in search, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:49, archived)
# because Gordon's alive and he's not wearing anything.
(I helped save b3ta! mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 15:55, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
I do.
(ParaSitius is an Optimistic Pessimist, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:00, archived)
# BECAUSE I BLOODY WELL WOULD, THAT'S WHY!!!
(kingnutter, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:01, archived)
# I would like a Brian
Blessed T-Shirt because
Tiger, leopard, lion,
Tripod, bunsen, gauze.
(I helped save b3ta! Spunky McPunk not dead yet, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:01, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because I have AIDS.
(I helped save b3ta! mike woz ere 7442200 & 7696970 getter, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:05, archived)
# Cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes,
cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes, cornflakes.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:07, archived)
# because, Flash Gordons alive??!!
(SpangoTheWonderBadger is brewing beer, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:08, archived)
# i'm worth it.
it shit
(I helped save b3ta! tickle I was away, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:12, archived)
# ...because I am ginger, and that colour will clash horribly with my hair
thus enabling people to mock me with greater ease. :)
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:17, archived)
# I'd like a free T-Shirt
because I'm a cheapskate and having the T-shirt would serve 2 purposes. 1. It would save me on the rail fare stalking Brian around the UK.
2. I look fucking great in red.
(I helped save b3ta! slartifartfast When all around are losing their heads, duck., Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:25, archived)
#
(I helped save b3ta! mrlogic is copying your beard, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:26, archived)
#
Gordon's alive!

...and my real name is Gordon.
(basstard, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:31, archived)
# Because it is clearly good enough for Julian Assange's sister to model.
Which makes it shouty and hush hush.

Though it doesn't much look like Brian Blessed on the shirt. It looks more like a portly Alan Rickman in Robin Hood.

I have words left, so I'll go with cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Dervel OTBC, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:35, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
I am fed up with selling blow jobs to strangers so I can save up enough money to buy one.
(I helped save b3ta! Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 16:52, archived)
# because
I am the sole member of the Brian Blessed Appreciation Society (thalidomide section).
(hiraeth SPACE £19.99. I say yer buy one yer get one free, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:12, archived)
# iWant a Brain blessed T shit
it is reely reely crool. My fiends will be so jellys.
(I helped save b3ta! Dick Wonder ₐ wₒₙₖy, wₐᵥy wₒₙdₑᵣ, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:19, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
Kaaaaaahhhhhhhhnnnnnnnnnn!

(Did I get it right?)
(I helped save b3ta! z0mb13e has a bee in his botnet, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:30, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
...it would go very well with my beard.
(I helped save b3ta! Mr. Johnson, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:33, archived)
# I want one because...
I bloody well want something for nothing. Brian might disagree, but you can't go pandering to these celebrity diva types all the bloody time. *hides*

Plus, if you got it in the post this weekend it'll get here for my birthday. A big one I might add.
Plus, it wouldn't show the flu sweat I've been drenched in this whole week. Well, maybe a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Blind Meach Cautiously optimistic, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:34, archived)
# Can I sing my entry? (To the tune of 'We're off to see the wizard')
I'd like a Blessed T-Shirt
A wonderful one of his face,
I'll tell you why, he's my top guy,
He swears all over the place!
If ever oh-ever a prize there was,
Then Bri's T-shirt is one because
Because, because,
Because, because,
Becaaaause...
Because of the wonderful things he does!
(I helped save b3ta! e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:35, archived)
# Yes, I know, but it wouldn't fit.
So oh-ever is one word.
Sorry.
(I helped save b3ta! e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:37, archived)
# I would like to press my sweaty tits together...
...whilst pretending that Brian is chewing a sour goodie.

__, _,_, _ _, _ _,_, _ _, _ _,_, _ _, _ _,_, _,,
|_)/ \|\/| |\ |/ \|\/| |\ |/ \|\/| |\ |/ \|\/|||
| \\ /| | | \|\ /| | | \|\ /| | | \|\ /| |||
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~..

PS. I just realise that my tits aren't that saggy yet.
(Klangtarnflatchslapper looks just like a Telefunken U-47, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:38, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
I could wear it inside out and feel him licking my belly button all day long
(I helped save b3ta! Van Da Graph is sufferng wth an intermttent 'i' key, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:39, archived)
# Because I'm worth it
(I helped save b3ta! Paster of Muppets is an incredible screen name, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 17:56, archived)
# I want a Brian Blessed T-Shirt to give to Nige84 while he walks the great wall of China.
And then he can Auction it for this

www.justgiving.com/briannesuncleneil
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:11, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
I can then shout "CUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTTTTT" with the most inspirational gusto known to man kind.
(I helped save b3ta! the dalai farmer always likes tea, but especially on, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:13, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
I lost my shirt to a starship trotter
My bowels are heavy with gold
I'd like to own a beard on my tots
I left my chops in the cold

Cheeky chops.
(Nigella Pussycat picking baked-in hair from creme brulee, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:18, archived)
# I want a Brian Blessed tshirt because
I could yet again poke fun at the americans for not knowing something!
(zhinka If you don't rescue,don't breed!, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:24, archived)
# Wearing a Brian Blessed t-shirt keeps you safe.
(I helped save b3ta! cowcat Bituminous squeegee, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:28, archived)
# I used to live round the corner from where he went to Elocution lessons
Broom Terrace in Rotherham, no 27 IIRC
(I helped save b3ta! ogwen69 has returned from Reddit, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:31, archived)
# In Glasgow, the tiebreaker is a valid sentence in itself
Scene 1

Jimmy1: I want wan a' they Brian Blessed T-shurts
Jimmy2: How come?
Jimmy1: 'coz...

"Because..." being the reason.
(I helped save b3ta! gaijintendo Regular Member, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:33, archived)
# GORDON'S ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!¡!!¡!!¡!!¡!!¡!!!¡!!!!¡!!!!!¡!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!!!¡!!!!!!!!!!
I'lll take all five shirts, no one will beat that!
(I helped save b3ta! tim1701 I have no board signature!!!!!, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 18:33, archived)
# The thing that would beat that...
is FIEND coming back and saying it
(I helped save b3ta! Van Da Graph is sufferng wth an intermttent 'i' key, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 19:33, archived)
# Because
I was also going to have GORDON'S ALIVE!, dammit...

So...

Because Brian Blessed's Beard is Better than Beans
(cheekyal, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 23:51, archived)
# Or...
Because...

FLASH!! (dum, dum, dum, dum dum...)

AH AHHHHHH!!!!!

He'll save every one of us.
(cheekyal, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 23:53, archived)
# Because I spent £1.99 (I'm sure it was more when I bought it) on the Alarm Clock app
and got loads of mates to get it too!
(and it scares the absolute shit out of me every morning)
(I helped save b3ta! Mrs. Spatum, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 19:05, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
I'm too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it hurts, i'm not a model, if you know what i mean, but i shout really loud at the cat walk... at the cat walk yeah
(I helped save b3ta! SkUG >_O i got a couple of stitches in my eyeball... ow, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 21:33, archived)
#
because he's got one of mine.
(Tetley, Fri 17 Feb 2012, 23:51, archived)
# "I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
...I'm a priest and I'm thinking of wearing it under my cassock on Sunday to frighten the choirboys.
(I helped save b3ta! Yoofaloof 'I like it here, wherever it is...', Sat 18 Feb 2012, 0:32, archived)
# want a Brian Blessed tshirt because
I'm a massive cunt.
(Fiendish Astronaut, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 2:10, archived)
# I want a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
I am his unacknowledged love child
(teasus likes tea, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 2:30, archived)
#
...because I live in Portlandia and all the hipsters would have acknowledge my obscure pop reference by pretending to know who it is!
(Girlmitzi, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 4:10, archived)
# BECAUSE I WANT ONE!
(I helped save b3ta! simbosan liked your link on, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 5:40, archived)
# because Chuck Norris stole my others!
he said he needed it for something important. When I asked what, he said my mind couldn't deal with that much information.
(vampyre_gem has been dead since, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 10:02, archived)
# because I ALREADY MADE A PAT BUTCHER CHE GUEVARRA STYLE T SHIRT FOR A B4SH!!
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=6740662207&set=t.514069147&type=3&theater
(I helped save b3ta! SickRik float like a camembert sting like a brie, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 10:22, archived)
# corn flakes
corn flakes corn flakes corn flakes corn flakes corn flakes
(Raol Duke, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 10:46, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because..
BLESSEDS COTTON ROCKS!
(thescotsman, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 11:46, archived)
#
...SONIC BOOM
(nattydread, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 12:10, archived)
# Are there any Brian Blessed undies?
(softporn 70's sink fixer, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 12:49, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
...who cares....underdog!!!
(MrFaberge we didn't burn him!, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 13:26, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
...you should never wear trousers on a Thursday.
(I helped save b3ta! Udderbelly A tale of four titties, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 13:28, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T shirt because...
... I can't grow a beard, and I am too quiet. Every fibre of my being cries out for beard, and for volume, and yet I can provide none. None beard. None shouting. Nothing. Brian Blessed t-shirt will provide these for me, and SAVE. MY. LIFE. Probably.
(Serotonicity was a naughty boy on..., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 16:02, archived)
# ..I'm too tight to buy one until I've found out the results of this compo.
(catbrain likes the hairy scratchings bestest, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 16:55, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T shirt because...
blessed be the brian blessed
(hovermonkey, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 18:26, archived)
# ... my JEdward T-shirt keeps getting me stabbed. :-(
(I helped save b3ta! Sweeplovesfisting Take all your footballs home and burst them., Sat 18 Feb 2012, 19:48, archived)
# Shirty
piss, fuck, cunt, bugger, bollocks, wank, shit and arse
(BigAndyBee, Sat 18 Feb 2012, 23:53, archived)
# pick me, pick me!
I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because..It would impress my family and other animals.
(Darkbex I have nothing to declare... not even my genius, Sun 19 Feb 2012, 1:31, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because..
it would more than appropriately externalise my inner Blessed. Plus I feel like I should win something for lurking on the forums all these years. :/woeisme.
(Goodbye Doggy is re-sealable for freshness., Sun 19 Feb 2012, 13:54, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because...
I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt.
(I helped save b3ta! mr.dogshit The world's premier anthropomorphic canine faeces, Sun 19 Feb 2012, 18:24, archived)
# "I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because..."
"... It would co-ordinate well with my Palm Pilot... PALM PILOT?!?! SOUNDS LIKE A WANKING MACHINE... POWDER ME DOWN, YOU SLUT"!
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:21, archived)
# I would like a Brian Blessed T-Shirt because
I caused scandal in my Church by putting on TV during a mince-pie social. Called "Blessed Christmas" I assumed it was OK, and left to greet the local dignitaries arriving for their annual photo-op. I still don't know if Santa Brian showed "The Power of Love". Nobody will tell me.

(this really is a true story. I don't know about the ladies in the Church or the dignitaries but I know that I will never forget the sight of his dwarf helper dressed as an elf capering around while I am trying to serve tea....)

(I helped save b3ta! wuffle, the b3ta bunny 's flea collar isn't working on, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 14:59, archived)
# because klean-prep tastes disgusting
bleaugh
(andy blip glasgow mega snake, Mon 20 Feb 2012, 18:21, archived)
# Bolt of Blessed
...I would very much like to be able to present my Brian-Blessed-fan fiancé with this t-shirt on our wedding day, hopefully leading to him being unable to control his giggling / ability to not say 'I'm Brian Blessed' during the ceremony.
(oonspoon, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 13:47, archived)
# ... I just realised
that MP3 is a Satanic reversal of 3PM when Christ died, I missed the conspiracy thread, and now I have to delete my entire music collection from P2Ps gone by, including snippets of Brian Blessed, and a shirt with his angelic visage may save my piratey soul.
(Stepping Hen the Delirious, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 18:00, archived)
# furthermore
As an American, I need more Blessed in my life. Think of the American children who will never know his Beard if these all go to Brits!
(Stepping Hen the Delirious, Tue 21 Feb 2012, 18:17, archived)
#
because no one here in the states even knows who he is. Or who Che is for that matter. It would help to cheer me up from the depression of knowing that I'm surrounded by idiots. At least a bit.
(I helped save b3ta! Cukeasaurus was once known as Misanthropy., Wed 22 Feb 2012, 11:04, archived)