John Lemming and Yokomodo Dragono

( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:41, archived)

Argh!
Nooooooooooo, not the Lemmings again! Not after Last Night!
( Baz Fuck off, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:42, archived)

I bet she's got REALLY bad breath.
But I bet she great at giving rim jobs.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:44, archived)

Thanks for that

( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:46, archived)

Have you ever had a rimjob?
It doesn't sound like it.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:55, archived)

( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:01, archived)

Speak up Nana!
We can't hear you!
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:01, archived)

no... am I missing out?
( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:05, archived)

If you have to say that...
..then yes.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:08, archived)

Not that I'm a prude or anything
but I can't see the likely pleasure in having someone stick their tongue up my arse.
( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:12, archived)

You need to get out more, honey.
.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:16, archived)

I would like to second that motion
and also propose a motion that any woman that sticks their tongue up a mans arse is no woamn at all.
( Dr Drink, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:20, archived)

and I would like to second that
(ahem) motion
( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:22, archived)

Jesus, Mary & Joseph.
No wonder the divorce rate is so high. It always amazes me how men (straight men mostly) need their women to be submissive, else they can't get an erection. Also, I don't understand why a lot of men are so "bum-shy" especially when all their nerve endings for orgasm are located up there.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:25, archived)

Right, you.
Get out.
And don't come back until you've thought about what you've said.
( Sir Sand Goblin i can explain, see, it used to be milk., Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:46, archived)

I'm back!
I thought about it.

And I still think it was great.

Is that wrong?
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:55, archived)

REALLY bad breath
Komodo dragons have millions of bacteria living in their mouths, they simply take one bite of their prey, and wait for the ting to eventually slow down and die from infection.

FACT
( Dr Drink, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:47, archived)

Just like Dutchbird

;-)
( thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:50, archived)

If I didn't need you
You would be dead now.
( dutchbird, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:51, archived)

You already cost me my job
what else could you do to me?

:-)
( thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:52, archived)

I have a very long list of possibilities
And my orb has just had a upgrade


You know I mean it

: Þ
( dutchbird, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:59, archived)

Okay
Now, you're scaring me....

/Assumes groveling position.
( thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:02, archived)

I wouldn't bother.
That old hambone is on her way out. She hasn't been keeping up with the repayments on her secret, high-tech hideout in the Catskills.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:10, archived)

Last time she cursed me
I lost my job 10 minutes later

*100% FACT*
( thirdman Ia! Ia! R'lyeh Cthulhu ftagn! Ia! Ia! Mglui nafl, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:13, archived)

Watch out for algoyo
she's got evil plans of her own, but without the power that I have.

You'll be safe under my beneficent shadow.
( dutchbird, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:16, archived)

Less of the Jaw, Jaw, Jaw...
...and more of WAR, WAR, WAR!

I have divested my evil empire of its laundry and take-away services and have ploughed the savings into channeling the spirits of Idi Amin, Richard Speck, and Stalin into my patented EVILDISTILLER.

I have my ray gun pointed directly at your hogpen and it's curtains, I tell you, CURTAINS!
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:20, archived)

Fuckin ell
that could take weeks!
( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:51, archived)

the wounds they inflict cause the animal serious movement limitation
but if they can still move quicker that them, they just follow them, and wait.

Doesn't take weeks, their saliva almost acts like a poison because high concentration of bacteria.

sorry, I'll shut up now.
( Dr Drink, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:54, archived)

Thankyou Jackie...
...and winner of Nerdola 2003 is

Dr Drink.

Please come up and receive your prize. It's a bit of cat's dirt wrapped up in the Daily Mail.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:57, archived)

Woo!
I shall treasure it, but at the same time, dispose of it in a bin immediately.
( Dr Drink, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:58, archived)

You also get a free holiday in the Peak District...
...and a deep fat fryer.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:01, archived)

cool
I hope the fryer is one with a "burn my house down" setting.
( Dr Drink, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:02, archived)

No.
But it does have a "Volcano Heat" setting.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:05, archived)

It's one of only two poisonous lizards
100% of half/incorrectly-remembered FACT
( Ijon Tichy, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:57, archived)

the other one being?

( Milkman Dan, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:58, archived)

Eddie.
.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:02, archived)

them gekos
ya get on your hotel walls

maybe not eh
(pussycat, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:04, archived)

The Queen Mum
according to David Icke
( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:05, archived)

If I knew the other one
it wouldn't be a half-remembered FACT, would it?
( Ijon Tichy, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:10, archived)

I'll take care not to get bitten by one then

( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:57, archived)

surely
some of those new 24/7 mints should do the trick when being attack by one
( bacon and egg roll is going to be big downunder, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:52, archived)

ha ha ha!

( Dr Drink, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:54, archived)

There was a frenchman
who got his leg bitten by one once.
He died about five years later after having an infected wound that got gradually worse and worse. They eventually amputated the leg after a couple of years, but the dragons venom was in his bloodsteam and the stump of his leg then got bad and smelly. Doctors tried everything, but he died.

100% FACT*

*this fact may contain traces of inaccuracy
(Divvy, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:53, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
So funny!
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:20, archived)

Yoko Ono is/was great
and far more talented than John Lennon, in my opinion.
( isthisyou?, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:46, archived)

*makes mental note*
never book isthisyou as a dj.
( rob, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:48, archived)

seconded
I went to see Sonic Youth do their contemporary stuff in the RFH, and while it was pretty good it was mental. They did some Yoko Ono covers. Scream, Screaming At The Wall and Screaming Incoherently Fucking Everywhere or whatever they were called.

Made even more amusing by the indie kids in the upper tiers shouting "Do Teenage Riot" and "Kool Thing"
( .spanky wanky woodly woo, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:50, archived)

I played at the Brighton bash, I'll have you know,
I was great. GREAT.

Although very quiet.

And, co-incidentally, I was wearing my "I hate the Beatles" t-shirt.
( isthisyou?, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:55, archived)

He was
on all counts.
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:58, archived)

That was unwise.
No teens worth their salt these days would know who the cunts are anyway.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:59, archived)

There were
no teens involved when I was there.
They must have been ordered for later on.
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:03, archived)

I couldn't eat a whole one.
And what the hell are you doing at some 'oldies' concert anyhow?
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:06, archived)

Oldies!
There was a whole gamut of young things their.
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:15, archived)

It was at a Twilight home for the bewildered wasn't it?
Don't deny it.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:30, archived)

yeah
that step ladder underneath a magnifying glass with the word "yes" printed on the ceiling was a stroke of genius.


hmmmmmmmmm
( Dr Drink, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:49, archived)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
and a little bit more NOOOOO. Still entitled to opinion and I do have respect for her because Johnny boy loved her. Lennon fans who go 'oh, I hate her' are stooooopid because they should have respect for him. Rant over now, thank you!
(funkylins, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:51, archived)

no
she was a tallentless cow (and still is)
.... in my opinion
( Darkedge, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:51, archived)

I agree.
Nobody in America knew who the fecker was until Yoko got her hands on him.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:57, archived)

Hmmm,
weren't the Beatles very popular in America?
( bovine www.richardtingley.co.uk, visit or I kill you, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:04, archived)

Eventually.
But marrying Yoko (who was huge at the time in the right circles) definitely helped cement the goggle-eyed cokehead in the US zietgeist thingy.
(dawn_syndrome dawn_syndrome, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:07, archived)

no
I'm sure I was played a track of hers once that was just the sound of a toilet flushing. ...supposedly sonic art.
(w0bbie, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 15:24, archived)

haha
brilliant
( Spoon, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:46, archived)

Love it!
Well done clever pants!
(funkylins, Thu 12 Jun 2003, 14:53, archived)