goyabrand foods were a large part of my old housemate's life. he was simultaneously the best and worst person to live with- he played great music and was a terrific guy; but at the same time he cooked nauseating corn-canned-ham-peppers-pork'n-beans (and who knows what else) casseroles and stews all the time, and would leave congealed heaps of them around the kitchen.
(,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 17:31,
archived)
Friend of mine at Unihad apparently never cooked in his life before. He used to arrive with an armful of tupperware boxes that his mum had filled with stew and casserole.
He decided to make an effort one day and picked out a recipe for Chicken Kiev (from my handy Delia book).
The first step was - "Score four chicken breasts".
So he went out and bought them. Right, what's next?
(,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 17:52,
archived)
He decided to make an effort one day and picked out a recipe for Chicken Kiev (from my handy Delia book).
The first step was - "Score four chicken breasts".
So he went out and bought them. Right, what's next?
I just laughed my arse off at that one.QUALITY.
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U,
Fri 21 Nov 2003, 0:21,
archived)
Bedsits..are full of nutters.
#1: I used to share a landing with an ancient old wierdo who drank a dozen tins of lager daily, used to swear at himself loudly whilst locked in his room, and couldn't be bothered to go down a flight of stairs to the loo. He would piss in a bucket, wait until it was brimming over, then carry it down the stairs, with much arthritic spillage. The landlady moved him out after he shat all over the bathroom floor - professional cleaners were needed to get the smell of piss out his carpet.
#2: The landing below housed the wierdest guy ever seen. He was anything between 30 and 70, dressed like Roy Cropper, and would flee like a startled cat if you met him in public. His mother would ring at 6am every goddamn morning, and he could be heard screeching to her in a ridiculous high pitched voice. He went away at weekends, and once left my other flatmate his key so the landlady could see to a leaking roof. We looked in his room and *everything* was covered in tinfoil.
#3:A previous occupant had fell out with another tenant, and had graffiti'd allusions about his sexual proclivities on the backs of the cheap pictures in the hall. Unforunately his spelling was crap, leaving us to wonder exactly what "John is a molestar" was supposed to mean.
(,
Tue 18 Nov 2003, 17:59,
archived)
#1: I used to share a landing with an ancient old wierdo who drank a dozen tins of lager daily, used to swear at himself loudly whilst locked in his room, and couldn't be bothered to go down a flight of stairs to the loo. He would piss in a bucket, wait until it was brimming over, then carry it down the stairs, with much arthritic spillage. The landlady moved him out after he shat all over the bathroom floor - professional cleaners were needed to get the smell of piss out his carpet.
#2: The landing below housed the wierdest guy ever seen. He was anything between 30 and 70, dressed like Roy Cropper, and would flee like a startled cat if you met him in public. His mother would ring at 6am every goddamn morning, and he could be heard screeching to her in a ridiculous high pitched voice. He went away at weekends, and once left my other flatmate his key so the landlady could see to a leaking roof. We looked in his room and *everything* was covered in tinfoil.
#3:A previous occupant had fell out with another tenant, and had graffiti'd allusions about his sexual proclivities on the backs of the cheap pictures in the hall. Unforunately his spelling was crap, leaving us to wonder exactly what "John is a molestar" was supposed to mean.