ive
just tourght my pupppy how to sit on the word "sit"

amazing
(Kieren, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:21, archived)

congratulations m8ey
you couldnt have picked a better word!
now make it bring beer and pizza
( Pob, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:22, archived)

And...
old Chinese proverb say:

"Man who teach dog to roll spliffs, never short of friends".

Apparently.
( Lardmonster, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:25, archived)

yeah he could,
though it'd be difficult to teach a dog how to hummus :)
( witchy :: Best before:, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:26, archived)

no, you just take its toy
hit it in the face with it, hold it in the air, say "hummus" a few times, and force it to do it (as it wont know what to do the first few times)

then it should do it on its own, then take the toy away, and just screem, "hummus" at it, and when it does it, give it some penguin bars
(Kieren, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:28, archived)

i really like penguin bars.

( mike - kicking arse since 1983, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:42, archived)

Have
you tried the new bannannnaanana flavour penguin bars?

They taste like monkeypoo.
( NobbyNobody, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:53, archived)

and
pie
( spawn, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:43, archived)

now make it do a poo
and sit in it.
( mike - kicking arse since 1983, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:26, archived)

can i have your job mike?
i spent all day in a fucking bakery not being able to cunting sit down and bloody knackered.

and i don't even know how much i got paid for it, and can't find out till fucking
monday.
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:36, archived)

nope
i like my job. so far i have earned 120 quid for seven hours work.
( mike - kicking arse since 1983, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:41, archived)

you cunt
why can't i get a job teaching english people english?
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:43, archived)

learn french.

( mike - kicking arse since 1983, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:44, archived)

je deteste le francais
pero hablo español bastante bien para un inglés

but shite to teach other people it.
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:47, archived)

i speak some spanish
but only enough for a GCSE.
teach maths or piano or some shit.
( mike - kicking arse since 1983, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:48, archived)

i don't know how a sixteen year old would go about getting a job teaching/tutoring, though
i fucking rocked at gcse spanish, and the only person better at it than me was spanish. which really fucked me off.

and i'm trying to teach myself piano, so i'd get fucked off when all the kids ended up better at me

maths i could do, cos i did no revision for the exams and there's no way i didn't get an A*, and i did less revision than i did for RE
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:51, archived)

i've done maths and english
and maths is way easier.
( mike - kicking arse since 1983, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:14, archived)

any idea how i would start getting a job doing it
without flying to hong kong?
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:19, archived)

I
like my job too.
I make vaginal lubricant.
But I only get £4.10 an hour.
The money simply can not fucking hummus.
Boo.Nay.
.
( NobbyNobody, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:46, archived)

you make vaginal lubricant?
are you ever tempted to do a spunk in it?
( mike - kicking arse since 1983, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:48, archived)

Mike, you're a sick puppy...
... and that's why we love you ;-)
( Lardmonster, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:50, archived)

Tempted?
The main ingredient is Nobody's spunk!
( NobbyNobody, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:52, archived)

i'll probably be getting something similar
if it's any less, i'll tell them to fuck off and be unemployed again.
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:48, archived)

£4.10
is minimum wage. They can't legally pay less. It's going up to £4.50 soon.
Woop-de-feckin-doo.
( NobbyNobody, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:51, archived)

that's what i would like it to be
then i found this: "there is no minimum wage for workers under 18".
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:52, archived)

Oh
yes. I forgot about that.

You can laegaly get married and have kids at 16 but aren't allowed any money 'till you're 18.

/bitter
( NobbyNobody, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:55, archived)

its so you wont spend it all on the lottery
.
(minoltion, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:58, archived)

Or
pokemon.
( NobbyNobody, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:59, archived)

and you can watch violent films aged 15
but no sexual content until 18. i'd much rather get laid than beaten up, thanks (though admittedly not by a 15-year-old)
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:10, archived)

i laugh at the irish
the matrix was an 18 there
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:11, archived)

YOU GOT A JOB
it will suck, but it will be worth it when you get paid

hopefully
(Kieren, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:58, archived)

that's another thing
i have to sort out getting paid

if it turns out i get less than £4.20 an hour (and there's a good chance) i'll just tell them to fuck it, though
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:00, archived)

good luck
i'd expect £3.50 plus though
(minoltion, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:05, archived)

i get £3.10
and that == £210 ish a month

which is enough for beer
(Kieren, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:07, archived)

how many hours do you work
though?
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:09, archived)

10 - 5.30 sat
11 - 5 sun normally

but ive been doin extra houres lately, so ive been getting £350ish

anyhoo, how did my point on teaching my dog howto Sit get onto work?
(Kieren, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:14, archived)

ah sorry, my fault
i spent a large part of today jealous of mike cos i knew he gets paid way too much and i was getting fuck all
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:17, archived)

actually
most teenager jobs around here get about £4.50. but there aren't fucking any left.

i may even be able to get a £4.72 job, but it means starting at six. i am willing though.
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:08, archived)

at my sisters work
there are shifts to 5am
and its a trendy sandwich bar
(minoltion, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:13, archived)

this one is
whsmiths

but i have to phone up some woman who's been on holiday since i applied, so i can ask.
( bananaman, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:15, archived)

the best jobs are at service stations
they do bank holidays on triple pay

but they are shit pits
(minoltion, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:15, archived)

I wouldn't
mind the £4.10 but before enron went bust I was on fifty grand a year.

/unlike the murphy's
( NobbyNobody, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 19:21, archived)

have you ever been tempted to teach it to bite
when someone says "what a nice doggy"? cos that would be comedy.
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Sat 3 Aug 2002, 18:29, archived)