yeah tesco's own
also bought eight packets of dennis the menace cake mix to make later.
think i should probably take someone sensible with me next time i go food shopping
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:09, archived)

Cool!
Zen shopping: the only way to support your consumerist urges
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:14, archived)

awkward questions at the checkout though
got stuck behind a granny - theres me with a load of cake mix, donuts, tea bags, about four cows worth of milk, several coke multipacks
and a loaf of bread. And the granny smiles and says:
"kids party?"
and i can only mumble:
"um no, just weekly shopping"
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:23, archived)

Sometimes all I seem to buy
is tins of beans and toilet paper. Makes me feeling like explaining to the checkout assistant that I don't just eat beans and poo.
( bigdave, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:27, archived)

hehehe - yeah understand that one.
whatever i seem to buy the always seem to give me a dodgy look
as if to say:
"do you actually know how to shop properly?"
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:33, archived)

Hell,
my best friends ask me that!
I think one of my first posts concerned the viability of a pot noodle sarnie.
It can be done, but I recommend the use of a baguette for the size
( bigdave, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:44, archived)

us checkout people
do that on purpose. It gives meaning to our crappy part time jobs
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:48, archived)

really?
thanks for telling me that - now i won't feel quite so pathetic next time around... :)
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:50, archived)

i think my problem is that i cheat...
...and steal all my housemates sensible food when i need it.
will definitely be trying pot noodle baguettes. :)
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:49, archived)

oo oo
barbeque sauce on cheese and onion rolls with black pepper-coated german salami topped off with a bottle of old peculiar
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:50, archived)

you sir...
...are a genius
i salute you
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:55, archived)

I like the sound
of that.
( bigdave, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:55, archived)

They are near perfect...
But you must always be on the lookout for new additions to the snack arsenal. Pretzels may be used as a side dish for the peculiar, and for those who enjoy the crunchy texture of food, then sour cream and chive/barbeque/cheese & onion/pick a complementary flavour pringle may be added. Pineapple also works well. For this is the truly adaptable masterwork that is the ANYTHING GOES SANDWICH! Bwahahahahahahaha!
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:04, archived)

i'm of the opinion
that you can make a sandwich out of anything
(with the obvious exception of bread)
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:06, archived)

bread sandwiches
You can make a sandwich out of bread. It just requires 2 types of bread. Dull stuff usually on the outside, and something more interesting on the inside, like a heavily seeded thick bread, or something sweet like a chelsea bun or fruit loaf wrapped in granary thick slice. Look, I was bored alright?
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:11, archived)

bored???
you were not taking your medication methinks... :)
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:15, archived)

Beware
It's surprisingly filling
*Edit*
Make sure you don't use too much water! Sloppy pot noodle sarnies do not rock!
( bigdave, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:54, archived)

i will heed your words
and proceed with caution...
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:58, archived)

I am the noodle-meister
Heed my call.
( bigdave, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:01, archived)

i am but your paduwan learner
one day i hope to construct a pot noodle sandwhich of my own - then maybe i my call myself a noodle-knight
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:04, archived)

A young grasshopper
Never explain yourself. The true zen master is at one with the Allness of Life. Smile serenly at her and say an old proverb, such as those who cannot mind their own business, a bottle of coke shall have inserted into their rectum. Then start eating the cake mix in front of her whilst pouring coke into your mouth. Very Zen, that.
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:33, archived)

good plan
or how about if next time i smile serenly and say:
"are we all not children in the party of life?"
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:35, archived)

only if
you rip her head off afterwards
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:47, archived)

cool - will do, then i'll turn to the checkout person and say
a lesson you have been given
questions do not always yield the answers we desire
yet sometimes questions need to be asked.
can i get cashback please?
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:54, archived)

I study the Zen of Tescos
I'm getting to the point where I can completly zone out whilst still working at the checkout. I'm hoping to improve my mastery of the art until I can sleep through the entire day of helping those little shits called customers rot their brains even further. Where's the bread you ask. Cretins, see the sign over there saying bakery? Why not try using your fucking eyes for once! I would say, were I not the master of Zen that I am. Instead I smile serenly and say softly behind you. Twats.
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:59, archived)

now i'm desperately trying to remember
if i've ever asked where the bread is...
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:02, archived)

Or the milk
Or the eggs, jam (whilst being stood in front of said commodity and then asking if I was sure it was where i said it was) Or the exit, that's happened before. (We only HAVE one fucking entrance/exit how HARD is it to find it again you morons!!!) Old ladies who ask if i'll sing everything to them, old women who insist on telling me their marital status, medical history in full detail for the past 40 year, and their inside leg measurement (34 inches, apparently abnormally long for her height) A vetinary assistant who was gored by a bull because 'noone told me bulls didn't like the colour red' girls with fluorescent pink vomit (I do NOT want to know what she was drinking!) Drunks, bums and weirdos. I'm amazed that i'm as normal and well adjusted as I am...
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:09, archived)

i have a new-found respect for you shop folk
i salute your kind...
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:16, archived)

thankyou
the path to greatness in the art of consumerist zen is paved with the ghosts of insanity and twats. Or something.
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:20, archived)

And watch out
for the sliding doors at the end. They have a delay on them.
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:21, archived)

actually for some reason....
i never seem to be able to trip the sensor.
which is actually kinda worrying in a sixth sense way...
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:25, archived)

some have little LDRs
on the side you cant through (like trying to exit through the entrance) if you put your finger over them (they look like eith a circular hole or a little lens usually at shin height) then the door will open for you. Ah, garden centres taught me one thing at least ^_^
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:33, archived)

thanks
i'll keep an eye out
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:35, archived)

hmm
we appear to have become wallflowers. Want to dance?
( Lethe is carrying a spade. SPANG., Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:39, archived)

this wallflowering is where
your experience in the garden centre becomes handy
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:47, archived)

i feel
so skinny
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:49, archived)

Did you sell your soul
to Milhouse?
( bigdave, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 15:42, archived)

8 packets?

Eight??

confused....
( 100% kitten poo in your shoe, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:47, archived)

yeah eight
because they are very addictive - and you need to double up the actual amount you use per cake if you want them to be any good...
(gluskap, Sun 4 Aug 2002, 14:56, archived)