Top Trumps Deities


The game does drag on a bit...

From the Kids Toys For Grown-Ups challenge. See all 349 entries (closed)

(salvadorevincent says buy my book: www.vennthattune.com, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:55, archived)

hahahahaha!

( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:56, archived)

Jesus isn't THAT godly.
He certainly isn't as godly as god.

But please accept this woo and this yay.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:56, archived)

looks like a bit of a girl too.

( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:00, archived)

girls have beards now?!

( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:01, archived)

my mum does



*edit* haven't quite mastered the art of cussing yo mama
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:02, archived)

your momma's got wooden legs and real feet

( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:04, archived)

your momma's got a glass eye with a fish in it

( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:05, archived)

we both need evening classes in mama cussing

( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:05, archived)

your momma is so fat
when she jumps in the air
she gets stuck
( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:09, archived)

yo moma so fat
I burned my ass on the lightbulb when I humped her last night
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:10, archived)

your mommas so fat
if you cut her
she bleeds ketchup
( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:11, archived)

yo moma so fat
I don't think I'll ever get over her. Looks like I'll have to get up and go round.
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:12, archived)

YOUR MOMMA
is so fat,when i swerved to avoid her
i ran out of petrol
( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:15, archived)

YOUR MOMMA
is so fat, she wore an X-Men t-shirt and a helicopter tried to land on her
( swaza I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. I'm bad., Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:18, archived)

your momma is so fat
when she bends over:

TOTAL ECLIPSE
( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:19, archived)

Yo momma so fat...
...she became a victim of a cardial infarction, or heart attack if you will, and died just moments ago.

We did everything we could. I'm really very sorry.

I'll give some time alone with you're family. You know where to find me.
(WonkoTheSane, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 16:10, archived)

haha!
^winner^
( - D - Let it Beard, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 17:23, archived)

Hey are you knocking my Holy one?
*start's war*
( HappyToast was waiting for the Dredd trailer on, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:01, archived)

*burns stuff*
THE RAGE!
( mugatu Hunting white dog eggs since 1992, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:02, archived)

I am offended by your RAGE
*burns stuff*
THE RAGE!
( swaza I'm bad, I'm bad. You know it. I'm bad., Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:12, archived)

Yes he is
if you're Catholic; he's part of the holy trinity you see. God is the Father, Son and Spirit. Jesus was God on Earth.
The Spirit doesn't get much publicity these days. In fact, I really have no idea what the Spirit part of God is supposed to do.
( wheelybird grep | grep | grep, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:04, archived)

get you pissed, presumably

( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:06, archived)

he's the one that touches your bottom
that's what Father O' Flaherty told me
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:07, archived)

Hold on...
*consults secret document*

Ahem. The Catholic church does not fiddle the choirboys, but in some circumstances we need to massage their winkies as they often get cramp of the groin after a particularly big sing. That is all.
( wheelybird grep | grep | grep, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:10, archived)

where does it say
they can rape me in the face?
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:11, archived)

Luke 6:38

( wheelybird grep | grep | grep, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:14, archived)

I just googled that and it came up with
"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."

which is pretty filthy
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:25, archived)

ha!
www.b3ta.com/board/6388857
( Inigo Montoya Is even better than THAT, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:28, archived)

Kings 2:23

( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:31, archived)

Luke 6:38
Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
( Inigo Montoya Is even better than THAT, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:28, archived)

...shall men give into your bosom...

(Idid, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 15:51, archived)

I'd say god is still slightly more godly...
simply because he is actually called god.
(Mr Eraserhead Why aren't you a lemon?, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:19, archived)

Its all in the name. y'see?

( Inigo Montoya Is even better than THAT, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:29, archived)

Cafe Nero Product / Screen Interface Scenario
*clicks*
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:56, archived)

Hahahahahaha!
8/10 for hummus

3/10 for theological knowledge.
( Afinkawan is reminding people he exists before the bash, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:56, archived)

drags on til you get to Allah
coz he's shit





*runs and hides*
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:57, archived)

Is that the smell
of burning embassy I detect?
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:57, archived)

no- Rothmans mate
has anyone seen my coat?
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:58, archived)

we burnt that
first - be off with you!
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:58, archived)

a fat
wah?
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:00, archived)

Shirley
not?

hehe
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:10, archived)

lol
that's good that is.

( Jeccius 3DS friend code 4897-6337-7123, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:57, archived)

( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:02, archived)

errr, trade you a Moses one...
here
( Jeccius 3DS friend code 4897-6337-7123, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:04, archived)

class
and i LOVED monkeons moses pic
( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:06, archived)

ohhh, never saw that
*looks*
( Jeccius 3DS friend code 4897-6337-7123, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:08, archived)

i believe it was FPed

( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:10, archived)

waaaaa, I cannae remember it
*glassco's*

EDIT found it here, awesome stuff :D
( Jeccius 3DS friend code 4897-6337-7123, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:11, archived)

that's not the one i was thinking about
but it is also ace
( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:17, archived)

Woo

(Soupy Twist BEST BEFORE:, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:57, archived)

brilliant username there matey

( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:59, archived)

Why thankyou very much!
(Soupy Twist BEST BEFORE:, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:02, archived)

haha
woo and yay
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:57, archived)

hahaha!
excellent
( mutated monty, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 10:59, archived)

Good lord new person!
*clicks* and woos are on me.
( Joe Scaramanga and the Tiny Jack the Ripper Trio, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:00, archived)

hahaha

( mugatu Hunting white dog eggs since 1992, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:00, archived)

buddah is not a god!
and neither is JEsus,

otherwise.. COOL!
( TopUpTheTea the bumpy road to where the wild things are, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:01, archived)

ashally, Jesus is . . .


( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Jaffa cakes only 500 calories per box - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:02, archived)

*checks Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass for explanation*

( Afinkawan is reminding people he exists before the bash, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:06, archived)

I got 1/2 a GCSE in RE - A* !!
/knows nothing
( TopUpTheTea the bumpy road to where the wild things are, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:12, archived)

Half a GCSE?
You can subdivide them?

Strewth
( The Blue Aardvark Unavoidably detained by reality, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:22, archived)

naaah
but there was a full course and a short course
i did the short course
it was a full GCSE
but it was known as the "half RE"
( TopUpTheTea the bumpy road to where the wild things are, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:24, archived)

And you still got A*
Nicely done.
( The Blue Aardvark Unavoidably detained by reality, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:52, archived)

We always called it RS
So the half GCSE was always known as half RS-ed.


It wasn't that funny then, but we were 14. Anything to piss off the RS teacher
(Mumm-ra, Wed 4 Oct 2006, 14:45, archived)

if Jesus is the son of God, doesn't that make him a God by association?

( mugatu Hunting white dog eggs since 1992, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:03, archived)

at least
Fanclub member #000001
( HappyToast was waiting for the Dredd trailer on, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:04, archived)

pfft

( mugatu Hunting white dog eggs since 1992, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:05, archived)

demi-god
/not a clue
( mictoboy, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:04, archived)

Yes
www.b3ta.com/board/6388760
( wheelybird grep | grep | grep, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:11, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAH
fantastic

Top Noob action! FP this hard and fast

Send it in to the Heaven and Earth show
( HappyToast was waiting for the Dredd trailer on, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:01, archived)

hehehehe great stuff

( Dr. Strange Apparantly those were the droids I was looking for, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:01, archived)

I like to think of Jesus as a mischievous badger

( 4dam party, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:03, archived)

".....when I'm cracking one off over him"

( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:04, archived)

I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey

/overdoing the Ricky Bobby quotes blog
( 4dam party, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:07, archived)

I love the smell
of embassy in the morning.
( BigFreak thinks that words are fun, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:08, archived)

you wouldn't get a C of E fatwah
the most they'd do is tut quietly after you've bought jam from them at the summer fete
( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:10, archived)

happy birthday!
i DID have cayke... but it was damaged so much in transit that i had to eat it to stop it getting even more damaged, ashally.
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:05, archived)

Hurrah!
I don't need cake, it would got my hips. I need TEQUILA
( 4dam party, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:08, archived)

have a dignified bean instead.

it's okay. it's a crack pipe...
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:09, archived)

Cor!
He's most dignified indeed!
( 4dam party, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:12, archived)

Hurrah for religious fact cards.

( wheelybird grep | grep | grep, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:05, archived)

i remeber this conversation from yesterday :)
woo to vis-ual-ising it.
( monstrinho do biscoito teeeshurts = www.nogunarmy.com, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:12, archived)

hahhahaa
top non-noob-ness!
( Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:06, archived)

Woo of the highest order..

( Jahled a cataclysm of spidery hellfuck would be a welcome, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:11, archived)

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Great first post!

*clicks*
( The Rabid Ferret of Doom is no longer a badger, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:44, archived)

To be fair
the game wouldn't drag on at all; if played cards are equal then they are dropped into the middle to be picked up by the next winning hand. This game would end quickly with all cards in the middle :)

Nice pic tho :-)
( Father_Ted Drink!, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 11:46, archived)

hope you don't mind...
... I posted this in another place it will be appreciated: the forum on RichardDawkins.net


( bnt what, me worry?, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 15:50, archived)

Well
done
( FatherJack /me belms, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 16:03, archived)

I see you are playing it safe
by not having an image of Allah
(dernuke - ARTCRAP, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 16:17, archived)

this^

( finnbar always employs the double tap, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 17:03, archived)

I'm just playing
the hand I was dealt...
(salvadorevincent says buy my book: www.vennthattune.com, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 17:22, archived)

To complete the set...

quick and dirty like my mum....
(silkysean pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, Wed 4 Oct 2006, 1:36, archived)

I can smell burning
I think it's your embassy
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Wed 4 Oct 2006, 13:39, archived)

Yay, but where's the Mohammed?

(jmaxi returned again on, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 17:44, archived)

Well done!
Best to stop now - your average on front page to postings will never be this good again (probably).
( nhojjohn one for the recovering ironics, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 18:52, archived)

Excellent!
I still have most of the two Horror sets this is based on.
( Paster of Muppets is an incredible screen name, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 19:05, archived)

That like, means something.
Or something.

Have the most of all woos!
( NinjaBadger hides in the bushes and gives you TB., Tue 3 Oct 2006, 19:46, archived)

hahaha
funniest thing i've seen on b3ta for a good few months
( Obz Click, ting, stamps, Tue 3 Oct 2006, 21:44, archived)

that is a shitting work
of absolute GENIUS

but I'm still going to burn an embassy :D
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Thu 5 Oct 2006, 18:41, archived)