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# Crackers


Download as PDF here:
www.robmanuel.com/2006/11/03/christmas-crackers/
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:45, archived)
# Crackers!
:D
(I helped save b3ta! Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:46, archived)
# or
SPAM
(haberman is singing in the changes, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:01, archived)
#
a lot of SPAM of late; about book and that.
(thundercat, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 1:27, archived)
# Ha ha!
That's my christmas crackers sorted.
(I helped save b3ta! Smallbrainfield, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:47, archived)
# hahahahahaha
*ruins christmas*
(I helped save b3ta! Sir T. Skellington, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:47, archived)
[challenge entry] typo
TAKES the piss
*edit* woo though


*edit2* ghey or geeky... YOU DECIDE
(I helped save b3ta! hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:47, archived)
# gheyky
(I helped save b3ta! Gruffi rust wrangler, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:04, archived)
# I hate myself
for understanding that.
(I helped save b3ta! Prof. Slocombe checked Google and found out that its, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:09, archived)
# Grr
#rm -rf /*

or del tree /y (whatever you dos monkeys do nowadays)
(KaiserPro captain arse rape, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:33, archived)
# These days?? doubt it
and u mean "deltree /y *.*"
command was removed in xp tho

/kills self.
(I helped save b3ta! Dr-Mx Trying to be somewhere between an ape and a robot., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 17:14, archived)
# But
rd /q /s c:\ works just as well in XP.
(I helped save b3ta! flake has nothing against your right leg, Sat 4 Nov 2006, 13:54, archived)
# Haha
Ace! I shall download the pdf when I get home :D
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:47, archived)
# oh dear ;)
and I thought it was
"what's got eight legs and a big black cunt"
that seems more funny to me anyway

woo all the same
(I helped save b3ta! Mushroom, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:48, archived)
# I quite like:
What's got six legs and a cunt halfway up its back?

A police horse
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse flat pack cat flap, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:50, archived)
# Horses don't have six legs
?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:51, archived)
# Oh, alright then.
A police horse with a policeman on it.

Not quite as pithy, though.

What's got twelve legs, seven eyes and flies?
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse flat pack cat flap, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:52, archived)
# 6 people one is dead after being shot in the head?
what's black and got 27 tits and 18 bollocks
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:53, archived)
# the bin outside the cancer clinic
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:55, archived)
# Oof!
hahaha
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse flat pack cat flap, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:55, archived)
# a pile of rotting corpses?
(I helped save b3ta! Ironman tetsuo Back once again with the renegade mastah!, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:53, archived)
# I don't know
what has twelve legs, seven eyes and flies?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:54, archived)
# Three dead sheep and half a pig's head
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse flat pack cat flap, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:54, archived)
# I shouldn't have asked
What has four legs and a trunk?
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:59, archived)
# a cow in the swimming pool?
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:00, archived)
# No!
A mouse going on holiday :)

My sister's only joke for many years (and she didn't get it).
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:01, archived)
# what's brown and runny?
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:02, archived)
# linford christie
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:02, archived)
# Haha
Yes I remember that from the joke book!
(I helped save b3ta! in vino veritas, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:03, archived)
# Linford Christie!
What's brown and sticky?
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse flat pack cat flap, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:03, archived)
# Glouie armstrong
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:03, archived)
# Pfft
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse flat pack cat flap, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:04, archived)
# a stick
(I helped save b3ta! mugatu Harumph., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:05, archived)
# I remember when
Roland Rivron was on The Tube, and asked: "What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your trousers?"
"Your cock"
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse flat pack cat flap, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:07, archived)
# hahaha
not your granny?
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:08, archived)
# I think that's what
Paula Yates was expecting, and why she let him continue. He looked a wee bit worse for wear.
(I helped save b3ta! DogHorse flat pack cat flap, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:09, archived)
# a massive shit?
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:06, archived)
# Burke and Hare coming away from the Graveyard
(I helped save b3ta! The Great Architect B3ta: Challenges from twitter hashtag games since, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:01, archived)
#
trunk coffin
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:03, archived)
# an elephant?
(I helped save b3ta! Inigo Montoya Would wear you like a hat. A HAT!!!, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:03, archived)
# comedy gold
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:04, archived)
# hahaha
mmmnnnnggg
(I helped save b3ta! mictoboy page 4, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:52, archived)
# They don't like it when the crowd starts chanting it at them as they queueing to get out of the MK bowl either.
:0
(I helped save b3ta! Cheeky Boy! loves horses..., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:54, archived)
# Arf,
can't wait to see mother-in-law's face when she pulls one o' these out her cracker :¬)

EDIT: Clever viral marketing idea for yer book, you sell-out cunt :¬)
(I helped save b3ta! wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:48, archived)
# ha ha ha!!
you ~naughty~ !!
(I helped save b3ta! Ironman tetsuo Back once again with the renegade mastah!, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:48, archived)
# fantastic..
btw just noticed I got an fp this week thanks mods...
(b3tan senseless is slowly getting older, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:48, archived)
# hahahahha
done and done!
(I helped save b3ta! Zank Frappa I fap for Flap!, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:49, archived)
# Imagine
the fun to be had sabotageing the boxes of crackers in Woolies in the run up to Xmas
(I helped save b3ta! lord bofingham, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:49, archived)
# HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
WOO!

b3ta brand christmas crackers.

all the hats are yellow and all the gifts are moostaches.
(I helped save b3ta! Thor_sonofodin Sent from my Nokia 9210 Communicator, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:54, archived)
# don't forget the red napkins!
i'm going to make these now
what a class idea!
(I helped save b3ta! Ironman tetsuo Back once again with the renegade mastah!, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:56, archived)
# WHAT SURPRISES!
(I helped save b3ta! gaijintendo I got the most tepid links on da internet, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 12:58, archived)
# rape
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 13:00, archived)
# Wahay!
Rob's first FP in over 2 years.
(I helped save b3ta! Black Moon NEW BOC? OMG!!, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 14:06, archived)
# oh!
the hormone one is mine!
what page is it on in the book? i can't find it!
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 15:51, archived)
# it's not in the book
read here
www.robmanuel.com/2006/11/03/christmas-crackers/
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 16:06, archived)
# b0rked?
Good jokes, shame about the link ;-)
(daern, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 20:45, archived)
# not borked
click, look, see
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 22:40, archived)
# ok,
so i have a credit in the back of the joke book
but no joke in the joke book?
credit for no effort? result!
(I helped save b3ta! urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Fri 3 Nov 2006, 23:07, archived)
# yeah
that page got pulled on the day before printing, and the credits weren't updated.

the crackers page duplicated many of the jokes in the rest of the book - and the publisher pulled it so there was no repeats.

I was on holiday and unable to get online to sort it out, and ended up throwing my phone in a bush in frustration.

Oooh, exciting story!
(I helped save b3ta! rob Hello, I'm a board sig., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 23:34, archived)
# great advertising.
(I helped save b3ta! Willwillwritehiswill An arse like a slapped face., Fri 3 Nov 2006, 23:12, archived)
# i gotta say
"what's got eight legs and a big black cunt = the a-team" is my new favorite joke.
(I helped save b3ta! Agent Muu wants to kick shit at a pig, Sun 5 Nov 2006, 6:32, archived)
# Great book
Got the book last week - 5 stars!!
(Duke, Sun 5 Nov 2006, 20:47, archived)