This is the first time I've tried to write anything french since I was 14...


From the Extreme Panto challenge. See all 250 entries (closed)

(geekboy is still employed on, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 9:57, archived)

it is not your arse?

( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 9:58, archived)

This^ ?

( Keyboard Weasel, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 9:59, archived)

J'ai un poisson, son nom est Gilbert. Il aime jouer aux échecs et fumer des cigares. Je crains pour sa sûreté parfois, mais Gilbert m'assure toujours qu'il sait ce qu'il fait, et que pendant un jour je comprendrai
( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:02, archived)

Oui.
Tu est un jambon chat
( Keyboard Weasel, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:04, archived)

you are a ham cat?

( mr horrible put his trousers on really angrily on, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:07, archived)

ham cat!

( naD, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:09, archived)

Touchez le jambon
vous l'aimez
(TooMuchCoffee Lies about having too much coffee, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:19, archived)

My knowledge of french is ropey
All I know is: ham, cat, swimming pool, cheese and a few placefiller words.
( Keyboard Weasel, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:10, archived)

here's a good one
anticonsitutionellement
it's their version of our longest word, and of course they have to make it longer...
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:40, archived)

Ah, Gilbert!
Quelle dommage!
(Rtee Fufkin Northern Midlander, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:14, archived)

griffin saver
have you got a proper panda? i used to have one of them til it failed its MOT :'( loved that car.
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 11:12, archived)

il est dans votre derriere
or perhaps not ...
( OneOfSome, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 9:58, archived)

It's supposed to be "He is not behind you", but my french is decidely ropey (as is BabelFish).

I feel confused now.
(geekboy is still employed on, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:58, archived)

ah, wrong you though, should be "tu" not "vous"
(cs192 how appropriate, your mother fights like a cow, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 11:11, archived)

Ah.

I'd have had better luck in German, but then the joke wouldn't have worked (not that it did anyway).
(geekboy is still employed on, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 11:16, archived)

la plume de ma taunte
est pres de la chaise de ma taunte
( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:00, archived)

Ah Oui.
Mon Jambon avec fromage est dans la picine! C'est flamme!
( Keyboard Weasel, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:02, archived)

Ou est le papier, il fe manure.

( gronkpan 2 Legit 2 Twit, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:04, archived)

Bon.
Mon aéroglisseur est plein des anguilles.
( Afinkawan, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:11, archived)

La chat est sur la table.
Vous etez un fan de Eddie Izzard.
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:16, archived)

ce n'est pas bingy bongy bingy bong
c'est ce vouz dit? poutain!
( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:23, archived)

Pas du tout!
Je ne c'est pas un poutin!


As well you know!
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:25, archived)

cracking stuff

( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:26, archived)

Agreed :)
Must get round to buying all of those DVDs again... My bitch ex nicked them off me.
( wastedindustry hates writing CVs, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:27, archived)

et le sange est dans le arbre,
le souris est sous la chaise
(b3tan senseless is slowly getting older, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:24, archived)

wiwi
la souris est sous la chaise . fon fon fon fon fonfon
( OneOfSome, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:31, archived)

merde chaude!

( GrandmaOfShoes, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:02, archived)

Hot shit?

( Keyboard Weasel, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:05, archived)

^^^ this
arf
( OneOfSome, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:06, archived)

ICH HEISSE MUGAU.

( mugatu what the deuce?, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:05, archived)

ich mochte gern dein hund sein

( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:06, archived)

ich liebe leder und gummi
hast du die grosse wurst?
( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:24, archived)

hahahaha
nein, die habe ich schon aufgegessen
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:26, archived)

ich habe einen shonen pimmel

( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:29, archived)

darf ich ihn anfassen, bitte

( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:37, archived)

wie komme ich am besten zum krankenhaus bitte.
das ist um die ecke.

apparently um die ecke bringen (bring round the corner) means to kill somebody..
(b3tan senseless is slowly getting older, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:26, archived)

brill
going to say that loudly in my german-heavy area, see what looks i get
edit: but 'taking a corner' in my house means farting. just so you know
(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:31, archived)

du bringst mich auf die palme
(you send me up the palm tree)
means you drive me crazy, you enrage me etc...
( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:34, archived)

Du hast das hier verloren: "T"

( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:06, archived)

hahah

( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:08, archived)

MEIN KOPF IST GEBROKEN. MEIN BEIN TUT VEH.
ES TUT VEH ES TUT VEH ES TUT VEH
( gronkpan 2 Legit 2 Twit, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:09, archived)

Die, allied Schweinehund! Mein Leben!

( pzyko is a whaler on the moon and carries a harpoon, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:12, archived)

mange tout rodders

(Darth Penders, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:07, archived)

bonnet de douche rodney
bonnet de douche
( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:09, archived)

bouillabaise mon ami!

( Afinkawan, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:45, archived)

Mmmmmm.....
....14
( M3rx Winky winky bum bum poo poo titty titty!, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:11, archived)

Zut alores
mon petit jambon tete
( @><|= w0nu!) AKA chadder - but is still a ****, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:13, archived)

Ohaiyo gozaimasu!
Wa ka ri ma sen, geekboy-san.

It is not arse you lot?
( Sea Tramp rattled David Cameron with Shakira wolf ringtone, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:16, archived)

che cosa e lo stucciacatori di polli?

( mictoboy, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:25, archived)

fala inglês?

(niceandwarmandhot vive la résistance, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 10:30, archived)

Eh?

I feel like the village idiot.
(geekboy is still employed on, Wed 29 Nov 2006, 11:03, archived)