From the Punchlines challenge. See all 504 entries (closed)

( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:52, archived)

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU
IONISE HELIUM?
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:53, archived)

with SCIENCE
like this only the other way around
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:54, archived)

that is negativly charged
He, not positive as is the case here :)
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:58, archived)

what part of
"only the other way around"
did you not understand? :)
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:59, archived)

I didn't read that bit
sorry
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:01, archived)

apology accepted
:-)
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:02, archived)

WHO THE FUCK READS EDIT
come on you should take some of the blame
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:06, archived)

*takes blame*
I edited that 2 seconds after I posted it.
( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:09, archived)

[edit: you see?] al
...also I'm too pissed to comment elsewhere...
(MrKane Resurrected According To Plan Nine, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:18, archived)

I'd like to add....
...also I'm too pissed to comment elsewhere...


(MrKane Resurrected According To Plan Nine, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:20, archived)

with a small pair of pliers and some butter
/actual head of science at large comprehensive school blog
( kingsuperspecial is a Barbie horse, I have my own shower of course., Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:54, archived)

MAGIC!

( abandonnship BEEEEEEES, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:55, archived)

I think it can be ionised in low pressure with an electrical discharge
it's the basis behind the He-Ne laser methinks.
(jagathewise, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:55, archived)

Neeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrddddd!

( kingsuperspecial is a Barbie horse, I have my own shower of course., Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:56, archived)

Rather that than
an emo
(jagathewise, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:00, archived)

emo neeeeeeeerrrrrrddddddd
being worse than that presumably?
( kingsuperspecial is a Barbie horse, I have my own shower of course., Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:01, archived)

emo nerd with a headache?

( abandonnship BEEEEEEES, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:03, archived)

how about a gay iraqi emo neerrrrddd with aids?

(jagathewise, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:03, archived)

that'll do it
and so on...
( kingsuperspecial is a Barbie horse, I have my own shower of course., Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:04, archived)

gaylord.

( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:03, archived)

what have i ever done to you???
charming...
( kingsuperspecial is a Barbie horse, I have my own shower of course., Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:04, archived)

no silly
gaylord is worse.
( urbane legend i have known the inexorable sadness of pencils, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:05, archived)

oh yeah
;-)
i knew that really
( kingsuperspecial is a Barbie horse, I have my own shower of course., Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:05, archived)

isolated charged
He?

EDIT: aren't lasers based on excitation rather than ionisation

/not sure
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:57, archived)

mm
there's the antiprotonic helium ion, (which isn't depicted right there), but it's possible, and there are also helium ions used for microscopy ( en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scanning_Helium_Ion_Microscope )
( abandonnship BEEEEEEES, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:58, archived)

whoa
I am meant to be using SEM, that now adds another 500 words to my dissertation
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:00, archived)

Academia loves it when you use wiki as a source

( abandonnship BEEEEEEES, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:01, archived)

I tend to use science direct
plus wiki always has referances to real papers
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha, I feel positively Capital!, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:04, archived)

Indeed-
just reference the things Wiki references!
(/lab report blog)
( abandonnship BEEEEEEES, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:05, archived)

I think simply stripping the electrons out of orbit...
would be easier.....


...then allowing electrons "back in", would allow for statistical analyisis.....of how much ionised HE you had...?

[edit: that is, firing your atoms as fast as you like, using carefully placed magnets to strip the outer shells. Then, re-gain the momentum, and do the same for the inner shells.
Keep going, modifying teh magnetic fields as you go, until you end up with nucleii only. Then.....oh crhist, what the fuck am I talking about? g'night b3ta]
(MrKane Resurrected According To Plan Nine, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:25, archived)

NORKS!

( The SexFace of Christmas Past Marley and Marley...WOOOOOO, Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:53, archived)

mte.

(USER No: 21515...FUCK YOU TO FUCK YOU FU see profile for limited time offer., Wed 21 Feb 2007, 23:59, archived)

i think this is
what normal people see
( the.jokl is fed up of her fucking face, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:04, archived)

WITH 8 NIPPLES!

( deodar ant is working on a new rooster, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:12, archived)

not pig style though.

(USER No: 21515...FUCK YOU TO FUCK YOU FU see profile for limited time offer., Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:14, archived)

Ha, fucking great!
That joke always brings a smile to my face, especially when i tell it to chavs who "didn't bovva wiv science lyk, cos it iz for gayz, innit?"
( Popidge Was skiving off Work/College on, Thu 22 Feb 2007, 0:18, archived)