im sure there must be
a joke somewhere with a punchline about toddler milk around.

if not then feel free to write one for me



From the Punchlines challenge. See all 504 entries (closed)

( cupz, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:10, archived)

what. the. fuck.

( mictoboy, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:12, archived)

C.A.M.O.B.

( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:13, archived)

CUNT ANAL MANGINA ORAL BASTARD?

( mictoboy, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:14, archived)

that's the one

( mediocre *canned laughter*, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:15, archived)

Crikey Amoebas May Occasionally Bite.
Couldn't Agree More Old Bean.
( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:16, archived)

ooooooooh!
cool, i shall remember that one
( mictoboy, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:17, archived)

Cane All Mongy Old Bastards

( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:17, archived)

There is.
Q: How to you get milk from a toddler?
A: By attaching suction cups to his nipples and connecting them to a miniature space rocket.

Thank you thank you, I'm here all week...
( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:12, archived)

hows the veal?

( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:13, archived)

Veal?
Is that what it is? I thought it was chicken... it's not bad son, but what's this white sauce?
( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:15, archived)

marinade.
get it down you pops
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:15, archived)

lonely
and in my barn.

/frenchfarmerblog
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:15, archived)

get it on my frying pan then!

( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:16, archived)

hold your horses
i've got to slaughter it first.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:17, archived)

*hands cutthroat razor*
there you go.
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:20, archived)

Tight, but nothing some lube can't fix

( Keyboard Weasel, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:18, archived)

*lubes*
ohhhh yeah.
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:19, archived)

Hahaha
Excellent work. Do you write Ben Elton's scripts? :P
( in vino veritas, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:14, archived)

Haha, no I couldn't scale those dizzy heights.
I might be doing the music for a film soon though - further bulletins as events warrant!

*exciteds*
( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:16, archived)

Oooh that is exciting
*exciteds too*
( in vino veritas, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:21, archived)

cool!
you are the man
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:26, archived)

woohoo
i was just googling a morse code reader when i realised it was easier just to read it as it was
( cupz, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:48, archived)

Toddler milk only exists
because they're not allowed to advertise or promote baby formula.
( in vino veritas, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:13, archived)

why's that then?

( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:14, archived)

Because babies are too young to do maths.
It hurts their tiny brainiums.
( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:15, archived)

says you
i'm already getting my 7 month old daughter to do long multiplication. come april she'll be doing my tax return.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:18, archived)

Good work!
Presumably you're aware that there's a tax on small daughters doing taxes?

So any potential savings you'll make by her doing it for you will be more than offset by the extra you'll have to pay.

I'd re-think that if I was you...
( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:26, archived)

shhhhh
i wasn't going to declare that, now you've scupered my plans.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:27, archived)

Well no, it's okay - I haven't told anyone...
...and it's not like your real name is thor_sonofin, is it?

Pardon?

Irish?

Thorson O'Fodin?

Blast. Sorry about that old boy.
( Professor Kenny Martin Receiver of the world's first Marbleositing, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:29, archived)

because breast is best.

and they are backpeddling from the 60-70's when they were advocating the use of formula instead of breast milk.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:17, archived)

Because breastfeeding is better for children
and they cannot try to sabotage the health of babies to make money. Not in this country anyway.

Supermarkets aren't allowed to do special offers on baby formula either. There are different rules for products that are not supposed to replace breastfeeding.

www.babymilkaction.org

/militant breastfeeder blog
( in vino veritas, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:17, archived)

I feed my breasts too
With pies.
( Keyboard Weasel, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:20, archived)

Mmmmm pies
:)
( in vino veritas, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:24, archived)

Actually, I could really do with a pie right now

( Keyboard Weasel, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:25, archived)

man breasts
*shudder*
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:24, archived)

are you a peado who loves man boobs?
then trevor mcdonald has a program just for you tonight on ITV1.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:26, archived)

I know.
I've set a reminder and everything.
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:28, archived)

that's why i can't get tesco points on formula
the cunts!
( mictoboy, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:21, archived)

Yep!
No special offers, no 3 for 2, no points, nothing.
( in vino veritas, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:22, archived)

BAH!

( mictoboy, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:25, archived)

hooray for the starving africans

/nestle'shareholderblog

not really
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:21, archived)

I agree wholeheartedly!
burn the formula!!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:21, archived)

well that a bit off
there is a time and place for formula, and it allowed me a lot of time bonding with my daugher as mrs thor was having problems.

it a case of choice and what's right at the time.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:25, archived)

oh yeah true.
My missus did'nt breast feed so I did all the night feeds.
I guess it was nice time to sit quietly with baby ivesb in my arms and bond.
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:31, archived)

Breastfeeding was ace
I wouldn't have done it differently, but my god it knackered me :)
( in vino veritas, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:33, archived)

did you do all the night feeds or did you get a breast pump for the other half?

( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:35, archived)

I did all the night feeds
The advantage of breastfeeding is that you don't need bottles or sterilising or stuff like that. I just brought her back to bed and plugged her in.
( in vino veritas, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:37, archived)

haha.
It was probably best I did the night feeds.
I can handle a lack of sleep better then the missus!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:39, archived)

Boobies!


/militant breastwatcher blog
(Bumsmells, Mon 26 Feb 2007, 10:23, archived)