I had a scientific calculator.
Whole lessons wasted working out how to make it display "304" when you type "MAM" in, "55378008" when you type "DAD" in, "5138008" when you type "5EXY" in, and "7735538" when you typed "GAY" in.

Oddly enough, "7735538" or Bessell, as was his name, turned out to be gay.
(tero if I had a website, this is where I would plug it, Sat 2 Jun 2007, 16:07, archived)