With apologies to Bristol Uni


From the Bad Books for Kids challenge. See all 466 entries (closed)

(Happy Phantom dressed you up in women's clothes, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:02, archived)

Type 1 aka Maltesers
:)
(Paper 'n Pencil My sword sings of silver, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:03, archived)

Today, I laid a type 3.
Maybe I need more fruit in my diet.

any questions?
( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:04, archived)

You are dehydrated.
That's not really a question, but anyway.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)

Really?
So the more water you drink the moister the poop you'll make?

interesting
( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)

Nah
The more fibre you eat, the firmer they get.
(Paper 'n Pencil My sword sings of silver, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)

So wait, If I eat a lot of fruit
my poop will veer towards the type 1's?
( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)

I think this calls for
An Experiment!
(Paper 'n Pencil My sword sings of silver, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)

you need more b3ta.
nothing keeps you as regular and firm as b3ta.
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)

sometimes I can manage about 3 different types in one go!
hmmm.... must remember to invent that playdough accessory for the sphincter that makes it come out in different shapes
( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:04, archived)

They could fit over the toilet seat in a big grid
So you'd just have to prop yourself over the hole of the shape you want to make.

Once people get over the mess, you might be onto a winner
( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)

You want piping bag nozzles
They'll do it.

I'd have thought.
( Mrs Trellis is returning to fuhldom, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)

it's been done

( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)

*googles*
*realises that not really the sort of thing to google at work*

*gets the sack*

*lives on streets giving out bj's to tramps*

*finds treasure map*

*realises map is a hoax*

*dies*




*gets resurrected*

*wealthy dowager pities me and nurses me back to health*

*gets old job back*
( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)

ah
the circle of life
( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:13, archived)

a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way
a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way a wimba way
( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:15, archived)

*sobs*
i love a happy ending!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:14, archived)

someone has already made them

( mugatu what the deuce?, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)

Most days I start with a 3
and move through a 6 into a 7
( Wasp Box is your next PM, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)

You forgot
the horrible, tarry, yellow/black godawful-smelling mess they do for pooh #1

*gags at the memory*
( Noely Noel people in my ear are telling me to stay calm, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)

Yay for having a baby in special care,
The nurses did it for us!
( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)

Yay and awwwww!
You didn't miss out =o]
( Noely Noel people in my ear are telling me to stay calm, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:06, archived)

hopefully will get the chore for number 2!
5 weeks and counting
( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)

*gleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees*

( Mrs Trellis is returning to fuhldom, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)

number 2 number 2?
I must say after #1 I had no problem changing ANY nappy... apart from one where she'd obviously had a dodgy gut and it leaked... and I mean *leaked*... everywhere... while visiting a friend in hospital... with no spare clothes. Ever seen a 10-month old in an adult-size surgery cloak?
( Noely Noel people in my ear are telling me to stay calm, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)

my son was sat on my lap
when he done his first poo

i thought he'd exploded!


he had a nappy on
( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)

Haha
Gross
( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)

it was
he wasn't bothered though
( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:13, archived)

I have never had fluffy poo.
Apart from that time once when I ate Bungle.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:05, archived)

office lol

( mugatu what the deuce?, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)

really?
I have them most days...um


/too much information blog
( Wildyles is back to rimming chimps, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)

Eat more curry
For 6 and 7
( Mrs Trellis is returning to fuhldom, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)

haha 2 words..
BUNGLES THUMB!!
( nel Roland Rat and Kevvviiinnnnn, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)

I prefer

( Dimrill HMS Average Nostril, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)

haha thats great!
But you can't beat filling an old spray bottle with Sarsons and without being spotted, spraying it liberally around a heaving pub/club. Genius*
*requires abnormal sense of humour to understand.
Edit: it might be worth pointing out the humour part is seeing the 'christ what the fuck is that hideous smell' reaction of the patrons when they smell the stuff. It absolutely reeks.
( nel Roland Rat and Kevvviiinnnnn, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:15, archived)

Cor
I live about 1/2 a mile away from a vinegar factory. It absolutely reeks.
( Dimrill HMS Average Nostril, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:25, archived)

GRAFTGOLD!!
:)
( nel Roland Rat and Kevvviiinnnnn, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

( mugatu what the deuce?, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:17, archived)

mine was in the hospital cot and everytime i cleaned her up and got read to
put a nappy on her more would ooze out!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)

and i replied to the wrong post!!!
*smacks head on desk*
*lies in an ever increasing pool of blood*
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:16, archived)

mine was in the hospital cot and everytime i cleaned her up and got read to
put a nappy on her more would ooze out!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)

dammit!

( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:14, archived)

seems i
can still laugh at you!
( Aphex The Mink glasjay.blogspot.com, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)

just you wait!!!
it'll happen to you!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:20, archived)

*patches head*
aha nuttah!
( Noely Noel people in my ear are telling me to stay calm, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)

*sobs*
damn work!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:20, archived)

Type 8: Like leaf mulch blasted through a riot hose

( Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:07, archived)

hahahahahahahahaha

( HappyToast sorted on, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)

CAT!

( mugatu what the deuce?, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:08, archived)

Copyright Alas Smith & Jones Instant Coffeetable Book
circa. 1984
( Hamster Trippin', Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:09, archived)

really?
You'll have to forgive me. I was 6 years old, if that...
(Happy Phantom dressed you up in women's clothes, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)

heh
Yes, it's all been done before...

How rude of me - have a Woo!
( Hamster Trippin', Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)

Cat?

( davew27, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:10, archived)

I'd be really worried
If I looked down the loo and found I had shat one of them.
(l4rd went back to his normal lurking on, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)

Oh
Just noticed that. That's abstractly amusing!
( Noely Noel people in my ear are telling me to stay calm, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)

Type 8

( Colonel Dracula Is not as think as you drunk I am, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:12, archived)

won't everyone's first 1000 turds
be type 7s?
( Wasp Box is your next PM, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:11, archived)

Number 14 - the deceiver
A huge fart followed by a couple of clinkers
(l4rd went back to his normal lurking on, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:18, archived)

Hurrah!
i20.photobucket.com/albums/b234/b3tapics/nice-1.jpg
(Derek Acorah's Spirit Guide Sam, Thu 19 Jul 2007, 16:32, archived)