Fuck you kids - you WILL buy this, and enjoy it!!


From the Bad Books for Kids challenge. See all 466 entries (closed)

(scarecow Lionel Blair, he say 'shit the bed', Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:08, archived)

I really recognise him.
And I'm not joking.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:09, archived)

It's
her before the op
(scarecow Lionel Blair, he say 'shit the bed', Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:10, archived)

Sour faced old coot.
She looks like she hasn't had a poo in weeks.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:10, archived)

she probably hasnt
just incase someone takes it and sells it on ebay

edit: my sister's just bought a copy home for me. woot!
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:11, archived)

I'd buy it.
And look for clues as to her weakness. Then we'd fight, a thousand miles above London, our cranelike stilettos crushing the buildings below.....
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:13, archived)

kind of like Ultraman, but with heels?
I like.
(emcake putting a donk on it since, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:21, archived)

Crossed with the 50ft woman.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:23, archived)

Whenever I see her,
I think of the Simpsons line:

"Smithers, hydrate me."
( Spunk Murphy Tchaikovsky is a synonym for fanny, apparently, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:12, archived)

Hahaha!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:13, archived)

She can't
She hasn't had a poo since she stuffed all her millions up her butt
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:14, archived)

I wish I could have a good idea.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:15, archived)

You don't need a GOOD idea
You just need a marketable one...

Chocolate coated fish fingers?
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:17, archived)

X-P
no ta.

I can't think of anything!
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:19, archived)

the day weed will be legal
that would sell like vanilla cream filled cheese puffs
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:19, archived)

I fear
That the foodstuff of which you speak would taste worryingly close to spunk
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:20, archived)

yay! that's a marketable idea!
give your man a taste of it!
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:23, archived)

your man?
Are you Gerry Adams?


I'm going to get kneecapped now, aren't I?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:24, archived)

kneecapped?
I'm not that kind of man! I'm more of a laser-gun-pointed-at-you-in-my-secret-castle-liar kind of guy
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:28, archived)

....Jack?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:29, archived)

where?

( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:31, archived)

Cardiff.
No more Torchwood til next year. I'm dead upset.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:31, archived)

I don't have a TV
so I'll have to download have it magically appear on my hard drive soon
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:34, archived)

TV links.
And/or Guba.

I heartily recommend.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:35, archived)

not to this stoner.
I'm fairly K-O'd as we speak, and....no.

However, I would go for some celery and peanut butter.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:21, archived)

Nonono
Celery and tiramusulata FTW
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:23, archived)

I don't have any taramasalata
but I do have peanut butter
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:23, archived)

Thought my spelling looking squiffy
"Pinky smelly fish egg paste gunk" ftw
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:29, archived)

It's delicious.
As is hummus.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:30, archived)

Yes it is
And yes it is.

I love stuff you can dip other stuff into to make it taste of different.
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:33, archived)

like maple syrup and....and.... cassettes.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:34, archived)

Yes!
That's....what I meant
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:37, archived)

blue cheese goes very well with both
you know
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:37, archived)

Blue cheese only goes well with the bin.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:38, archived)

Blue cheese and celery
Is an orgasm in snack form
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:38, archived)

Ha!
my exact words!
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:40, archived)

you're both wrong
blue cheese and celery is an orgasm in snack form
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:24, archived)

That's possibly the rankest thing that's ever been suggested to me.
You filthy bitch.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:27, archived)

score!
but it's the only good use for celery besides scratching yourself between your toes
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:30, archived)

You're not even human, are you?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:31, archived)

I'm not in liberty of telling you

( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:32, archived)

Oh I'm going to have to get my paraphenalia out now.
You'll be sorry, alien fiend.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:34, archived)

mmm paraphenalia
*adds to list of favourite english words, alongside topiary and linoleum*
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:36, archived)

Haha, you say that now
But just you wait. Me laddo.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:37, archived)

*waits*
*hums the girl from ipanema*
( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:43, archived)

You can't rush these things.
Patience, glasshopper.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:46, archived)

*hums take me to the moon*

( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:48, archived)

*hums jingle bells*

( Your watch is quickly ticking towards 5K, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 2:02, archived)

Uh Oh!

( Sir Pigeon Nipples "Shit in my Gritz! Folks 'round here got 5 toes!", Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:13, archived)

Don't worry
not nearly enough rasta to be Manwife.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:13, archived)

hahaha

( Bazmonkey was single because of B3ta..., Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:10, archived)

I'm watching Sky News
and they've got a guy dressed as Hagrid passing out books to the people who have been queueing overnight.


I can't help but think I'd love that job.


I'd pick up those big, hefty books and throw them with as much force as I could muster in the faces of those fiercely dedicated people while screaming "Here's what's important to you, you fuckers! There's a god damn WAR in Iraq! You do know that don't you? But you just care if Harry is a fucking Horcrux for fucks sake, don't you? DON'T YOU YOU BASTARDS!"




But maybe that's just me. I can be a bit of a prick when I have some drink in me.
( Spunk Murphy Tchaikovsky is a synonym for fanny, apparently, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:18, archived)

Hahahaha
Horcrux....rofl
( Spazzcat jam out with your clam out, Sat 21 Jul 2007, 1:19, archived)