from the inbox
From: xxx
B3ta user: xxx

Any chance of putting a stop to all the "Maddie" related posts? (possibly by gazing all members warning them not to post maddie related crap and nawty stepping those that cross boundries)
I know I am biased as I have 2 little girls of my own, but the Maddie jokes are growing very old and personally (yes, I know this site isnt run to my own personal taste but I do speak for alot of others when I say..) I think it is fucking low that a site that will not allow various forms of natural anatomy (no matter how humourous it may be)on it will allow continuous jokes about a missing child which I am sure there are many people distressed and greiving over. I am sure employers would love to be seen having their employees laugh over missing kids. Great client building material isnt it?
Pick your game up b3ta.
Maddie Jokes are shit.
( rob twitter.com/robmanuel is following you, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:21, archived)

oh dear
floodgates
( DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:22, archived)

I wrote a joke over lunch
My girlfriend keeps moaning my penis is too large for her vagina.

Maybe I should stop fucking kids.
( rob twitter.com/robmanuel is following you, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:26, archived)

i trust that was your reply to that email

( gravytrain, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:27, archived)

haha
that's shit.
( Just Flange fuckbumble.tumblr.com - Another fucking foto blog., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:27, archived)

yeah, it's not amazing I know
I was reading The Sun's problem page and there was a letter about some guy having a cock too big for his missus.
( rob twitter.com/robmanuel is following you, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:29, archived)

ah the sun,
a constant source for deep thought and compelling conversation points.
( Just Flange fuckbumble.tumblr.com - Another fucking foto blog., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:31, archived)

Indeed it is
Why, the other day I picked one up and was immediately so deeply engrossed in the material within that I almost forgot to breathe.

That's why I don't read it anymore.
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:33, archived)

i love those dear deidre letters.
they are the biggest load of bollocks!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:32, archived)

I'm sure that's what the missus says

( ClanSoul thanks, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:34, archived)

Why doesn't he just
wrap it really tightly in duck tape?
( ClanSoul thanks, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:32, archived)

His wang or his missus?

( Aenesis, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:34, archived)

first one
then the other
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:54, archived)

I bet that's
one of the few letters Deidre has ever got which has been signed with a real name.
( monkeon schmonkeon : twitter.com/ricomonkeon, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:34, archived)

Nah!
I put your name C]:0D


( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Jaffa cakes only 500 calories per box - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:39, archived)

there's a lot of spam on that subject e.g. -
"I just started having sex, and my boyfriend keeps popping out when we do it." and "My boyfriend's member is too big for my mouth." and so on.
( The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:37, archived)

"When I tried to give him oral sex, I practically choked"

( pzyko vs the truth about electric can opener reviews, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:40, archived)

My girlfriend called me perverted
I said "That's a big word for a nine year old"
(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:27, archived)

arf!
*writes that down*
( twig Save 6 Music, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:33, archived)

Yo!
Twiggles!


( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Jaffa cakes only 500 calories per box - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:37, archived)

'noon
how are you today Lord Hatchester?
( twig Save 6 Music, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:39, archived)

Braw!
and Braw! How was your soup?


( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Jaffa cakes only 500 calories per box - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:40, archived)

today I am having a fry up
but I keep getting distracted and AW CRAP THE BACON
( twig Save 6 Music, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:45, archived)

Silly Twiggles!
crap is not bacon! although both can be streaky . . .


( Sir Aunty Grampa Dave the Hat - Jaffa cakes only 500 calories per box - Ta! Cannaoogim!?, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:49, archived)

and organic

( twig Save 6 Music, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:53, archived)

*adds to sickipedia*
*claims as own material*
*wins awards*
( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:29, archived)

can you not use more
childish words like mimsy?
( DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:29, archived)

My pepe is too big
for her mimsy?
(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:30, archived)

winner
close the competition.

is this a competition?
( DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:39, archived)

That was actually bad enough to cause me to laugh quite loudly.
*invisiclicks*
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:29, archived)

huge office lol at that....
peeps wanna know what im laughing at, but im too ashamed
( theoriginalsteve "Evil will always triumph because good is dumb", Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:33, archived)

"My girlfriend keeps moaning my penis is too large for her vagina."
Inspired, no doubt, by many, many recent spams on that theme.
( Manic declared war on Old Media, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:36, archived)

I believe a simple spitroast would remedy this problem

( An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:37, archived)

I love
coming back from lunch and seeing things like this
(yokelrobin THE NERD WHOSE HAIR DEFIES GRAVITY/FASHION, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:22, archived)

hahaha "pick your game up"
i heard a great maddie joke the other day but i've told it once already
( gravytrain, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:23, archived)

it's like a euphemism
for kidnapping a child
( Wasp Box will give you a dead eel for Christmas, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:24, archived)

if i was kerb crawling for kids down old compton street
that's the kind of slang i'd use
( gravytrain, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

I wish I'd thought of it earlier
I got soaked at lunchtime leaning out my car window, and all for nothing
( Wasp Box will give you a dead eel for Christmas, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:27, archived)

So....
Who's gonna pea-roast first?
( Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:23, archived)

I agree with this
but I just ignore anything I don't like
( Gruffi Savalas it's not the principle. It's the money., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:23, archived)

^this^.
like you say, if i don't like i just leave it alone.
i don't ram my opinions down peoples throats.
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

tis a free community
you get out what you put in.

If you don't like it, or can't tolerate it then go elsewhere.

The Maddie jokes make me sad, but as I say, I just ignore them and move on to the next piece of shite to get posted.

This place is not my life
( Gruffi Savalas it's not the principle. It's the money., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:27, archived)

we our one....
*stares intently*
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:30, archived)

i can't believe i put our instead of are...
oh god!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:31, archived)

*blesses*
...............
.
.
.
.
.
.
*smites*
( Gruffi Savalas it's not the principle. It's the money., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:57, archived)

^ this is about the only sensible thing to do, really

( mediocre HONKA HONKA, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

^also this^
/in abundance
( The Great Architect, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:26, archived)

Welcome back pickle!

( bennyhillslovechild, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:29, archived)

'ow do chap!

( The Great Architect, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:31, archived)

^this also

(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:27, archived)

^This
That comment about getting game though... Tsk.
( Smallbrainfield, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:28, archived)

well indeed
not that bit
( Gruffi Savalas it's not the principle. It's the money., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:28, archived)

quite

( twig Save 6 Music, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:28, archived)

^very much this^

( The Alchemist king of the needlessly complicated, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:28, archived)

lol.

( Shada, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:23, archived)

*Hangs child head in shame*
( Wasp Box will give you a dead eel for Christmas, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:23, archived)

Well I thought it was a reasonable request
When I sent it

(Seriously though, who was it?)
( Mrs Trellis has her two Misses Trellises at home :), Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:23, archived)

Ooooooh, they're callin' you out rob

( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:23, archived)

<essex>
leeeeeeeeve it, heeees not worf it

/essex
( DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

i hope you never posted that message i sent you proclaiming my undying love!!
oh,
whoops!
( ivesb Assistant Clinical Physiologist extraordinary, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:23, archived)

won't stop me from thinking;
"...aaand you're *under*!"
( Manic declared war on Old Media, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:24, archived)

It was me
I dont know if you are agreeing or asking me to get bumraped by other b3tards here,
but thanks anyway.
Edit: I mean thanks, sincerely.
( Sir Pigeon Nipples ... Hitler invented rice ..., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:24, archived)

Mystery solved
Just leave her on the doorstep when you get bored

*edit* oh wait, you meant the letter
( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

sir, i refer you to line one, paragraph one
www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=48074
( god save the queen http://www.hatfield-anti-incineration.co.uk/, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:47, archived)

Well put.
Nothing quite like quotations to bring someone down!
Edit: Gets me out of ebay and work related disputes every time:)
But it didnt work on this one.
Sorry.
( Sir Pigeon Nipples ... Hitler invented rice ..., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:03, archived)

hahaha!
although i'm guilty of posting an image on this subject, i agree with you to a degree.
as i've said on here before if i was the mccann family i'd be making as much noise, if not more about finding my kid.

hypocritical i may be, but i still have a heart.
( god save the queen http://www.hatfield-anti-incineration.co.uk/, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:23, archived)

glad to haer that you do have a heart:)
Now...
why are you on b3ta again?
;)
( Sir Pigeon Nipples ... Hitler invented rice ..., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:27, archived)

HERE HERE !
I think, personaly, that such things are awful, in today's world.

I can't belive you'ld let such a thing go on.
( Pops the putz. Most hurt actor? bruise WIll is., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

That should be one of the random phrases on the Post New Message screen.

( Bloop Fri 16 Jul, 22:10, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

yours sincerely
Richard Branson
( The Great Architect, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

haha

( Just Flange fuckbumble.tumblr.com - Another fucking foto blog., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:29, archived)

Your Tagline
Is the bit I like.

:P
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:25, archived)

Maddie jokes are shit?
Most of them are, yes. But usually that's because they're not funny not because they're distasteful.

*picks up the game*

*goes for the long pass*

Ah fuck - THE GAME!
( An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:26, archived)

OH YOU CUNT

( Gruffi Savalas it's not the principle. It's the money., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:28, archived)

FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
You cunting bastard. :(
( Hamster Trippin' twitter.com/#!/HamsterTrippin, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:28, archived)

cunt

( Manic declared war on Old Media, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:29, archived)

massive
twat
( DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:30, archived)

OH FUCK OFF YOU TOTAL PISSCRANE

( An Eagle in Your Mind, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:43, archived)

cuntmonkeys!!!!

(Roll_Up_Smoker Hasn't had a cigarette since, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:08, archived)

i do solemnly swear from this day onwards
that i will post no more images related to maddie
or any other missing mccann children.
yours,
( god save the queen http://www.hatfield-anti-incineration.co.uk/, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:26, archived)

TITS OR GTFO!
:P
( Hamster Trippin' twitter.com/#!/HamsterTrippin, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:26, archived)

anyone got any good Rhys Jones jokes?

(shux, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:28, archived)

Griff or Sophie?
*pulls up hood and mounts BMX*
( Wasp Box will give you a dead eel for Christmas, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:33, archived)

LOL AIDS LOL

( pzyko vs the truth about electric can opener reviews, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:28, archived)

I'm genuinely surprised this wasn't done sooner

( Keyboard Weasel, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:30, archived)

mugatu didn't log on yet :)

( pzyko vs the truth about electric can opener reviews, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:32, archived)

hahaha
are they serious?

come on, i have a little girl, but i can find the gallows humour of these jokes worthy of a chuckle.

and anyway, if that had not left theyr 3 year old daughter and young twins 'home alone' then it wouldn't have happened. i'm not laying the blame squarly on their sholders, but would you leave your children unattended in an unlocks room in a foreign country?

i think the chances of maddie jokes increasing and now more the 100%, just to annoy you. (not you rob, the person who sent in the mail).
( Thor_sonofodin Sent from my Nokia 9210 Communicator, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:31, archived)

^ What the very correct man said.
The Publicity-Whoring parents should just shut the fuck up, and let the coppers get on with either finding her, or finding out where she's been cut up and dumped. I personally think it's going to be the latter, but I'm a cynic.
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Alpha Mike Foxtrot, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:45, archived)

i hope it all turns out alright
but as it drags on and on the likelyhood of a happy ending gets less and less.

haveing said that, look at the austrian girl that was held captive for 8 years, she seems to be doing ok and making strides to go forward with her life.
( Thor_sonofodin Sent from my Nokia 9210 Communicator, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:52, archived)

maddie jokes are shit... just the same as every other bandwagon on this site!
the steve irwin bandwagon was cack after a nanosecond...
( hubare XBOX Gamer tag: hubare | http://twitter.com/hubare, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:32, archived)

I oppose your view.
I love all bandwagons. Especially when they get so tired and old that all of /board descends into hivemind rage.
( Shada, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:35, archived)

bandwagon=news
news=bandwagon

what to do?
( god save the queen http://www.hatfield-anti-incineration.co.uk/, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:36, archived)

easy.
Wank!
( Wasp Box will give you a dead eel for Christmas, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:37, archived)

i'm doing that constantly
bandwagon, news or not
( god save the queen http://www.hatfield-anti-incineration.co.uk/, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:39, archived)

200 other kids disappeared
in the 3 weeks after Madeleine was taken, but they never got the press coverage for whatever reason...

Are they fair game?
( twig Save 6 Music, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:37, archived)

200 other kids disappeared
in the 3 weeks after Madeleine was taken, but they never got the press coverage for whatever reason...

Are theyon the game?

YES
( DLT's Musical Bonanza is totting up the p, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:45, archived)

yes
if they gets lots of publicity and come into the public gaze, i call that fair game.

jokes about the faceless masses aren't as funny.
( Thor_sonofodin Sent from my Nokia 9210 Communicator, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:47, archived)

if my kid was snatched I'd tick the manimum publicity box
you get leave from work and an extended holiday
( twig Save 6 Music, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:51, archived)

and a tour round the world and an audience with the pope
mind you, i'd have wanted to have done it when JP2 was still alive, i've not warmed to this new pope yet.
( Thor_sonofodin Sent from my Nokia 9210 Communicator, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:55, archived)

Dear xxx
The reason "various forms of natural anatomy" aren't tolerated on the site, is because a lot of people skive here at work. If my boss saw rudie bits on my screen (which are easily recognisable from the other side of the room) I'd be in trouble.
There's no way he'd be able to read any of the text on my screen though (just as well).

Other than that, there seems to be an "anything goes" policy on here. Everyone has a different "line" and who's to say what we can and can't laugh at?

Personally, I agree that "Maddie jokes are shit". I have a little girl and I can't bring myself to laugh at anything to do with Madeleine McCann, I find the whole story just too upsetting to find it funny. But I wouldn't try to stop others laughing. If I don't like it, I just ignore it.
Calling for censorship on b3ta is not the answer. Where do we draw the line? Mongs? Gingers? The French?
( Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:43, archived)

mongs
'mong' jokes wind me up, why i don't know, but they do.
( god save the queen http://www.hatfield-anti-incineration.co.uk/, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:50, archived)

Because they're never funny.

( Smallbrainfield, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:58, archived)

I'm French (and ginger)
And most of the jokes about French are pretty offensive on here.
I have no idea where I'm going with this, can someone abuse me now?
(duck Quack !, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:54, archived)

you forgot cheese eating surrender monkey
and you make my internets stink of garlic
( Gruffi Savalas it's not the principle. It's the money., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:59, archived)

yum!
garlic!

I might smear that over my fish and chips

:D
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:56, archived)

^This, bigly^
I don't find Maddie jokes funny, I have two daughters and I don't see the humour in that sort of thing. However, I just ignore it, I certainly wouldn't go as far as to complain.

Anyway, this is how we deal with tragedy, we laugh at it. Look at how quickly the jokes came around about Diana, or the twin towers/


( shrinking man Been away a while, time I ventured back, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:04, archived)

Sorry to hear you are a bludger and so shitscared of your boss. Here ...
Tell him I said

( Sir Pigeon Nipples ... Hitler invented rice ..., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:09, archived)

I just showed him this
He just frowned and walked off. Hmmm
( Zak McFlimby Twibbling @McFlimby, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:16, archived)

must be homo
otherwise he would have stared.
But then again...
did he question your bludhing abilities?:)
( Sir Pigeon Nipples ... Hitler invented rice ..., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:24, archived)

The world's full of whiners

'sfunny how they're amused by other peoples discomfort, but gripe when something gets a bit close to home.
( Halibut If you think education is expensive, try crack., Thu 23 Aug 2007, 14:53, archived)

I'm sorry, they're making me do it
Maddie jokes are growing very old

Unlike Maddie.

Perhaps instead of making jokes about the kid, we can make jokes about the stupidity and carelessness of the parents? Though read last night "Ooh, spain is nice this time of year" - perhaps by December they'll start wondering if she's been kidnapped by a pack of snowboarding arabs in Val d'Isere?
( fross Read your email on, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:13, archived)

I'll stop laughing at maddie jokes
when the person who sent this email does something about the 60 THOUSAND children going missing each year in teh uk alone

poor maddie

she had crap parents
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Thu 23 Aug 2007, 15:49, archived)