Captain's Log...

(Ninj, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:41, archived)

I'll have eleventeen pairs.
:D

( Fresh Water Mole - shouts at ducks, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:42, archived)

hahaha!!!

( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:43, archived)

Pffffffft......haaahaahahhahaaaa
*chokes on apple and dies*
( The Zombie of Dr. Blackwolf is having eye socket sex with a paraplegic midget, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:43, archived)

*heimlichs*
*resuscitates*
*submits invoice*
profit!
( barryheadwound is addicted to Fantastic Contraption, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:52, archived)

How much??!?!?!?!?!?! >_<
*has heart attack and dies again*
( The Zombie of Dr. Blackwolf is having eye socket sex with a paraplegic midget, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:58, archived)

bah.
*kicks corpse into gutter*
( barryheadwound is addicted to Fantastic Contraption, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:59, archived)

*sells corpse on black market*

( urbane legend in ur superpozitions, collapsin ur wave functionz, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:08, archived)

You won't get much for it
I've already sold my kidneys...
( The Zombie of Dr. Blackwolf is having eye socket sex with a paraplegic midget, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:13, archived)

*strips corpse*
get it while it's warm!
50p a go!
( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:52, archived)

50p??
Rip off. I'll give you tuppence.
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:56, archived)

Still more profit than my tactic
:(
( barryheadwound is addicted to Fantastic Contraption, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:57, archived)

You've learnt a valuable lesson today.

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:59, archived)

Yes indeed
Go through their pockets and fleece them before administring any kind of first aid. Way too late if they're already better.
( barryheadwound is addicted to Fantastic Contraption, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:00, archived)

hokay!

( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:58, archived)

*skull fucks*

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:59, archived)

times up!
come on, save some brain matter for the others.
( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:01, archived)

Can I take some as a souvenir of my visit?

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:02, archived)

that'll be another tuppence...

( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:04, archived)

*grabs a frontal lobe and runs*

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:06, archived)

Careful...
that's my hypothalamus!

oh sod it, I don't need it anymore
( The Zombie of Dr. Blackwolf is having eye socket sex with a paraplegic midget, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:01, archived)

lolclicks!
*comporoasts*

( urbane legend in ur superpozitions, collapsin ur wave functionz, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:43, archived)

hahahaha
SPANG!
( The Zombie of Dr. Blackwolf is having eye socket sex with a paraplegic midget, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:44, archived)

thank you sir!
may i have another, sir!
( urbane legend in ur superpozitions, collapsin ur wave functionz, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:50, archived)

If you insist...
*fetches extra-large pan*

SPANG!

:D
( The Zombie of Dr. Blackwolf is having eye socket sex with a paraplegic midget, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:56, archived)

Oh bloody yes.
Yes yes yes. Yes.
( Captain Wow 'like Molly Ringwald except much more frightening', Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:45, archived)

Lovely.
Brings back memories of 1st year humanities lessons, back when I was 11.
:D

Not the Borg bit...

( Fresh Water Mole - shouts at ducks, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:45, archived)

oh my lorrd
The pun it burns....
( The magic of chutney Shouting into his phonautograph over the winds on, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:45, archived)

hahahaha!!

( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:55, archived)

seamsless

( WHTRZ Corp ate your brains and gained your knowledge, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:58, archived)

The Feudal system
Remember, it's your count that votes
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:00, archived)

"Count rolls in the pantry!"
"Does he?"
(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:03, archived)

"is he?"

( urbane legend in ur superpozitions, collapsin ur wave functionz, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:05, archived)

Possibly, I did have a few variations
"Count properly!"
"Unusual name for nobility"

Or when my niece was playing hide and seek with me:
"Count in the living room"
"Is there?"

My jokes are wasted on a four year old, but I still find them amusing.
(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:08, archived)

I thought it would be a joke
"Why does she smell?"

"Shatner pants."
(A Vagabond loves your mum, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:43, archived)

"why is lt uhura brown?"
"because william shatner"
( urbane legend in ur superpozitions, collapsin ur wave functionz, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:13, archived)

hahaha
clicks
(TheRiddler I say what I like and like what I bloody well say, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:48, archived)

I presume you'll thanks Chris Moyles for the inspiration.


And in other news, Woo!
( Moonraker Raking your moon, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:50, archived)

no,
he just sprays it out his mouth.
( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:56, archived)

I find it ironic people hate the man
and yet find his jokes funny.

I think it's the mentality that people think it's cool to hate popular stuff. Thats fine, I've always hated Coldplay. The bed wetting simpletons.

/Edit. hold on thats not irony. Having 10 thousand spoons when all you need is a knife is. oh well. Anyone wanna swap a knife for a spoon?
( Moonraker Raking your moon, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:03, archived)

is it a nice spoon?
and i very rarely find him funny, usually he just gets on my nerves.
( ivesb ohh.......angry!, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:06, archived)

Well there's 10 thousand of the buggers, one of them must take your fancy
I agree that some of his stuff does get irritating, but a lot of the stuff he does is quite funny. And some of the jokes they do - such as the Shatner pants - are real classic stuff. I prefered his older shows mind, afternoon after Mark and Lard. *sigh*
( Moonraker Raking your moon, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:10, archived)

(asciifaceofbob Matt wangle, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 12:58, archived)

ARSECHUPACHUPS

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:04, archived)

arf!

( Joe Scaramanga Faster. More Intense., Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:00, archived)

Hahahahahahaha!
Splendid!
( crazygibbon all your monster munch are belong to us, Thu 20 Mar 2008, 13:13, archived)