Write it on a naked lady in black marker
buy her a cheap white t shirt
Place lady in front of bassist
Pour water on lady.


Best way to give any bad news is written on naked ladies.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:31, archived)

haha

(Dydactarontaurus Cunt Fucken Croydon GC Cunts, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:32, archived)

This should be the required way of giving all bad news
yes
( Evilscary is stood knee-deep in the blood of your loved ones, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:32, archived)

Me for Mayor of London.
Someone suggested it a few weeks back.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:36, archived)

does your platform include:
free porns
tripled congestion charge for 4x4s
making boris and ken fight to the death with hammers

??
( mutster101 fait des gestes compliquees avec ses mains, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:40, archived)

Dirty 4x4s no.
Clean ones that have never seen grass, yes.


Ken will be forced to work at Burger King in Camden for a year, Boris shall be forced to work at Stringfellows.

Porn shall be provided in 'minute hate' style bursts on bbc channels at midday, 5pm and 10pm daily.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:41, archived)

verily, the wisdom of the ancients....
*mwah*

How are you, lovely?
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Chairman of the Freemasonary of Mooning Smokers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:32, archived)

the wisdom of accidents?

(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:35, archived)

possibly...
*is confused*
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Chairman of the Freemasonary of Mooning Smokers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:37, archived)

*was not a planned child*

( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:38, archived)

MNo child is "planned"
Unless you are a major fan of The Boys from Brazil. They were a bit planned
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:40, archived)

My mum was planned.

( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:40, archived)

"Right the guttering is going to come right out here, and we're thinking of having a flat roof..."

(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:45, archived)

You leave her guttering alone.
Ruffian.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:45, archived)

That's almost insulting,
coming from you.
(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:49, archived)

Yes, because I'm an oik of the first water.

( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:50, archived)

I was more thinking because you are really ruff.....

(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:53, archived)

Well you're entitled to your opinion.

( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:57, archived)

Bah.
Coward.
(Jeru The Cunt of Monte Cristo, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:58, archived)

Ahhhhh.....
I think.

;)
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Chairman of the Freemasonary of Mooning Smokers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:41, archived)

JAYPEEGEEEEEE
*massive smooch* I'm ok lovely! You?
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:35, archived)

reet royally busy, but very happy and smiley.
For a change.

Cigarette?
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Chairman of the Freemasonary of Mooning Smokers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:36, archived)

Ooooh yes please.
11 hour day at work today- 10.5 yesterday.

*hug* glad you're good, schnookums.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:37, archived)

*hugs*
See you on the roof terrace in 5, then.

:D
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Chairman of the Freemasonary of Mooning Smokers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:38, archived)

I wish.
We've got a think in the carpark.

I would LOVE a roof terrace.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:39, archived)

they're very useful for anonymously throwing pate at motorists

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:40, archived)

You come out with some of the funnest things ever.

( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:42, archived)

\o/
I'd be a terrible estate agent
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:45, archived)

Come into business with me, we can be private detectives.

( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:46, archived)

Roof terrace?
some of us have to stand in the road and avoid lorries
( Joe Scaramanga Dangerously crunchy, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:40, archived)

Well, too many people in the building smoke,
and don't want to stand in the street; it's quite an enlightened approach actually.
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Chairman of the Freemasonary of Mooning Smokers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:43, archived)

Our company
hasn't come across the word enlightened.

They recently stopped a guy taking a book out with him when he has a fag cos it 'gives the wrong impression'.
Not qyuite sure what the impression is, but it's wrong.
( Joe Scaramanga Dangerously crunchy, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:50, archived)

*Hicks*
Whut y'all readin' fur?
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:50, archived)

I dunno...
so I don't end up working in a FUCKING diner!
( Joe Scaramanga Dangerously crunchy, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 13:05, archived)

*YOINK*
I NEED THIS MORE.
( Ttssattsr I LOVE GOLDEN SUN., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:38, archived)

^ needs more sense
and/or explanation.
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Chairman of the Freemasonary of Mooning Smokers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:39, archived)

I've no cigarettes and haven't smoked since Monday.

( Ttssattsr I LOVE GOLDEN SUN., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:42, archived)

Ai-ai-ai
*provides*
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:42, archived)

THIS BETTER BE A MARLBORO.

( Ttssattsr I LOVE GOLDEN SUN., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:43, archived)

Nah, it's a Camel blue.
If you want a marlboro you'll need to keep with the JPG one.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:44, archived)

Could be worse.

( Ttssattsr I LOVE GOLDEN SUN., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:45, archived)

Love me camel blues, I do.
And I'd rather give up than smoke Royals.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:47, archived)

hahaha
although my 'naked ladies' contact list is rather empty
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:32, archived)

*checks own list*
Damn - mine too.

:(
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock Chairman of the Freemasonary of Mooning Smokers, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:35, archived)

you cannot argue with this advice

( HappyToast is dancing like Tim Booth on, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:33, archived)

As per usual, I'll think you'll find.

( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:35, archived)

I've never wanted bad news so much in my life...

( Sonic James Doom is no longer allowed to laugh at things, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:33, archived)

Now if you ever see me herding around some poor girl
in naught but a white t shirt, you know it's time to sit down and take a deep breath.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:38, archived)

If I ever saw you I'd probably bound over and say hello
before remembering that I'm a stranger from the internets.

At which point, things would continue as suggested...
( Sonic James Doom is no longer allowed to laugh at things, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:40, archived)

Oh don't be bothered with the internets thing
I quite like the thought of suddenly hearing 'CAPTAIN!' from behind me at any point when out and about.
( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:43, archived)

I'm sure you do...
The many strangers with red hair I shout this at seem confused though...
( Sonic James Doom is no longer allowed to laugh at things, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:46, archived)

One day you'll get there!

( Captain Wow isn't it enough that you killed and ate his wife?, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 12:47, archived)