Glow ball warning -
If it does this, see a doctor!

MOD EDIT: NSFW - No close up pictures of genitals on the board thanks.

From the Uxbridge English challenge. See all 652 entries (closed)

( Neffer Vossent rues the day, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:50, archived)

n-n-n-notsafeforwork!

( xmaschordal la la la la la, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:51, archived)

also, I suggest you get that looked at, because your balls aren't normal.
Sorry to worry you and all, but it's only because I care.
( xmaschordal la la la la la, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:52, archived)

You are the expert.

( Lightguy what the heck's a hexagon, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:54, archived)

cocks cocks cocks cocks cocks.
cocks.
( xmaschordal la la la la la, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:57, archived)

YOU'RE SO VEIN......
I BET YOU THINK THIS POST IS ABOUTCOK
( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:51, archived)

Hahaha
!
( Face will put on her red shoes and nrans the blues, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:53, archived)

Well,
at least a few Merkins can finally see what a foreskin looks like.

;)

*edit* also , probably...

*2nd edit* Oops, they got him... poor soul.
( WiL can take it all!, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:52, archived)

Haha, I once had a conversation along these lines
with a Jewish New York girl, a Canadian girl and a Dutch girl. The New Yorker had never seen one, and couldn't get her head around it [LOL GET HER HEAD AROUND IT LOL].

I would have let her get her head around mine [LOLOLOL] if she wasn't so fucking annoying.
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:59, archived)

*takes to one side*
If you are ever in such a situation again, the best thing to do is to offer to show them what one looks like, in both its flaccid and furious state. Then move onto asking if they've ever wondered what one feels like, smells like and tastes like. The order is important. Gradual stages. Stick with me son, I'll get you laid.
( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:06, archived)

Thanks
but I live in Dundee. If I can't get laid here, then all the seduction tips in the world aren't going to help.

*takes notes anyway*
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:10, archived)

My tuition is adaptable
In Dundee, offer them a mince and ingin pey and they're yours til they get the council house.
( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:12, archived)

my mate used to stay in Dundee.....
one night he was cooking a stir fry, went into the corner shop, got some ingredients, went to the till and asked if they had any GREEN PEPPERS...........




he was handed a packet of green rizla
( Cockweasle http://b3nn3tt.mybrute.com, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:42, archived)

Hahahahaha, fuck.
That's too true to be funny.
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:46, archived)

hahaha

( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:51, archived)

I had THE most bizarre chat once with a gay guy online on some forum or other, I forget which,
who posted a picture of a guy's cock he was seeing (no really!) and asked what 'that thing was under the glans', as it worried him. It was the frenulum, the 'banjo string' that holds the foreskin when erect, and I said this and he ridiculed me, don't be stupid there was no foreskin, he would have noticed, see the pic, no foreskin. So I had to explain that the foreskin pulls back when erect and moves under the glans so that often only the frenulum is the giveaway that there is one, and he was MORTIFIED as he was convinced that uncut guys are diseased death bringers!

I was quite stunned, it was.... erm... rather surreal, to say the least.
( WiL can take it all!, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:13, archived)

Yup
It's frightening how much ignorance there is about the natural state of the human penis. So many people seem to have bought into the theory that the foreskin a work of evil, as if chopping it off in infancy is somehow more "normal".
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:17, archived)

Oh yeh,
I've got so fed up with having to explain to Merkins online that we don't all stink and die young cos we have 'weird cocks', oh, you mean these things we were born with that we haven't mutilated?

Just seems so alien to me, it's the way nature made you, why would anyone think it needs slicing off at birth or you'll all die of cheese?

'Sides from owt else, soap, we have discovered it, a while ago, and the whole of Europe seems to manage just fine in their natural born form, thankyou.

Just fucking weird.
( WiL can take it all!, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:47, archived)

O_o
*ignore-alarm sounds*
( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:53, archived)

i see penissesssssss...
and glowing balls!
(Harryhausens working plasticine since the 30´s, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:53, archived)

Slightly NSFW
But not hugely because it looks like a medical illustration.
(theSHALROTH Shamble bobble dimble dooble, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:53, archived)

PENIS PENIS PENIS COCK

( Shada TANGLE BUDDIES!, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:54, archived)

here's a penis, there's a penis, and another little penis
fluffy penis, funny penis, penis, penis cock.
( xmaschordal la la la la la, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:58, archived)

GENATALS - B - GON!

( mofaha, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:57, archived)

*insert witty piece of mandering here*
/can't be bothered any more blog
( xmaschordal la la la la la, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:59, archived)

For fucks sake
if you're going to chase my sweet ass put some effort into it.
( mofaha, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:01, archived)

*throws nerf rocket at mofaha's head from a deckchair*
*misses*
*sips pina colada*
( xmaschordal la la la la la, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:05, archived)

"No close up pictures of genitals on the board thanks"
hahha

( but the hedgehog can never be buggered at all foreskin of the apocalypse, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:57, archived)

it´s not safe for cock...
... to walk in bare sunlight!
(Harryhausens working plasticine since the 30´s, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:59, archived)

Hahaha, this is still utterly fantastic.

( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:00, archived)

Hahaha HA HA HEE!
He's got a lovely happy strut about him, hasn't he? Must be off out on this sunny day to see his best friend.
(Super Jet Shoes, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:01, archived)

pffft mod edit? what a wimp, its flaccid and glowing!

( Sheehan forevermore owes Ttssattsr beer, Sun 4 May 2008, 23:58, archived)

*prepares glowing goatse gif*
I didn't know about the flaccid rule, otherwise i'd have done this years ago. Yay!
( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:03, archived)

if aint erect then what the heck!
thats my rule!
( Sheehan forevermore owes Ttssattsr beer, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:04, archived)

OK
'twas an anatomical drawing for the porpoises of educating the hernia-prone but if deys the rules fair nuff! Odd what gets left on here though if a non-lob offends you!
( Neffer Vossent rues the day, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:04, archived)

nothing offends me.
but if I had been at work, which I'm not, but if I was, it would be difficult to excuse having a picture of a cock on my screen if someone happened to see my monitor.
( drbroon a poor wee monkey stole his face, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:08, archived)

Agreed...
...it's a medical illustration so it *shouldn't* be causing a fence, but I'd have a hard time defending it if I were at work.
(theSHALROTH Shamble bobble dimble dooble, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:15, archived)

Just tell 'em you're a poof,
and claim special dispensation as a minority! ;)
( WiL can take it all!, Mon 5 May 2008, 0:18, archived)