Mmmmmm... meat...



From the Celebrity Mutants challenge. See all 461 entries (closed)

( Fresh Water Mole - loves his baby boy more and more each day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:03, archived)

MMM, LOVELY MEAT!
strangely arousing
( Wasp Box is your next PM, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:04, archived)

there's nothing i'd like better then to roll naked with her on some bloody carcusses
and then spunk on her tits.
( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:08, archived)

You just know she doesn't mind "getting her hands dirty"...

( Fresh Water Mole - loves his baby boy more and more each day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:09, archived)

I'm not really a fan
but I would really like a bloody, meaty gobble off her

or anyone else
( Wasp Box is your next PM, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:11, archived)

I can see the reviews now
"She'll suck you off with a mouthful of raw guts"
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:14, archived)

with bits of bone it it to create some exciting speed bumps

( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:15, archived)

Ooh, the thrill!
Actually, following Ad7's post below, I now want a visceral titwank instead.
( Wasp Box is your next PM, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:17, archived)

waaaay!
I aim to please
(Ad7 Rename knives to 'gay sticks' and stop knife crime, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)

whereas
I'll aim at her face...
( Wasp Box is your next PM, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

mucky pup

( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

best of all the titwanks

( Thor_sonofodin https://twitter.com/Thor_sonofodin, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

Nigella's not bad either

( Joe Scaramanga Reclaiming his face, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:10, archived)

True
www.cartoonstock.com/lowres/ate0127l.jpg
( Wobbly Bloke says "oh for Gods sake" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:20, archived)

is it just me
Or does she look a bit like Tia Carrera here?
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)

Its you

( Joe Scaramanga Reclaiming his face, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:25, archived)

Can't be
I look nothing like Tia Carrera.
not even when I wear high heels n pull me eyebrows up
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)

you look like Tia Carrera
whoever he is.
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)

Waynes World's girlfriend

( Joe Scaramanga Reclaiming his face, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)

HE?
Get yoiur vission adjusted
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

No he doesn't
www.austinchronicle.com/binary/d7fb/music_phases-39504.jpeg
( Wobbly Bloke says "oh for Gods sake" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

He bloody does
www.imdb.com/media/rm2480379392/nm0000119
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)

Are yea...

EDIT: www.b3ta.com/board/8375405
( Wobbly Bloke says "oh for Gods sake" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

told you so

(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

I've been wanting to see Nigella handling one eyed meat for some time

( Halibut ran out of time, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:05, archived)

hahaha

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

Hahaha
I've only just noticed the "and Ottakers".
*clicks*
( Halibut ran out of time, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

:D

( Fresh Water Mole - loves his baby boy more and more each day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:08, archived)

ottakars does not exist any more
sadly
( mutster101 is not the new Doctor Who, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:11, archived)

yer
the one in Slough is Waterstone's now

as if people in Slough can read anything but toilet paper
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:13, archived)

Hah, you reminded me of using you in an argument a few days ago.
Only to point out that I knew someone who lived in Slough who didn't struggle to spell their own name.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

hahaha
I have a massively troublesome name
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:20, archived)

I really would love to know what it is
you've sufficiently piqued my interest.

If you're ever feeling brave, gaz it to me. I like names.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

you wouldn't like mine

(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:22, archived)

Is it Margaret Thatcher?

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:23, archived)

I wouldn't mind that
mine lead me to years of bullying at school.
only inlater years did I come to relish it as a source for friends to give me nick names.

always makes me think of Jenifer saundes on the Young ones,
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:28, archived)

Mine rhymes with gay
and shares a first letter with the word fat.


To 9 year olds that's GOLD, that is.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)

Oh my first name is ok
nothing wrong with my first names.
Not like Mrs Vinegar Strokes
Middle names Nancy Maud (Hers not mine)
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

Ouch, that's a bit harsh.

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

Nancy is just about bearable (I'd do anyfing for you dear...)
But Maud!
by all the saints and angels why Maud
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

Nancy is good
but Maud is.... well, it's terrible. Sorry to your lady and all that.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)

I try to comfort her
By making sure everyone knows...tehe
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

My Grandmother
is Mildred Maud. Top that!
( Pasanonic so I compo anything with words, right?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

Up until the 4th of Feb this year
I had 6 grandparents as my mum's parents split and remarried.


George and Judith
Alan and Sheila
Alan and Sheila.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

No
You're just visiting some of them twice as much as the others.
I have no grandparents
Or parents
Or friends
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

I got that too, which leaves me rather resentful about my names.
Despite the fact they are quite clearly brilliant, although crap for being anonymous due to the rarity.
(Jeru War and Piss, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

Adnrew is too difficult to spell?

*FUCKSOCKS*

( Wobbly Bloke says "oh for Gods sake" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:28, archived)

hahaha
yes
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

I could never get the hang of spelling Michaeal
I know there's an a in it somewhere so I stick it in any where I fancy it
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)

The correct spelling is:
Maiacahaeal
( Wobbly Bloke says "oh for Gods sake" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

Thanks
Waoababablaya a balaoakaea
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

Ours is a Waterstones now
But its even WORSE than Ottakers.

I honestly dont know how bookshops like that are still in business what with this new fangled interweb business
( Joe Scaramanga Reclaiming his face, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

ah I dunno, I love bookshops
it's the smell of books that does it for me

cos that's the smell of KNOWLEDGE


and books about Hitler
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

Little bookshops
like in Black Books.

The smell of those is DIVINE. Old books smell better than new books. My copy of LOTR, for example. Ohhhhhh it smells wonderful.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:24, archived)

^this^
I'm talking about the Goliath Books of this world.
( Joe Scaramanga Reclaiming his face, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:24, archived)

Hehe..heheh... it's
funky.


*stubs cigarette into hand* oooooh, sorry.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:25, archived)

I have a top tip for you if you ever visit Edinburgh.
Find the Kings Building (the University of Edinburgh Science campus) and go to the Jospeh Black building (Chemistry). On teh second floor there is a small chemistry library full of books dating back to god only knows when. It has a smell which only a few very sexy things surpas. They've either had a small fire in there or you used to be able to smoke or something - the leather, the old books, the faint sweet smell of pipe smoke...

*groans*
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

Oh fuck don't talk dirty.
That sounds wonderful. I bought my best mate (the one in the post below) a copy of a book that was 100 years old on her birthday and is about a girl who spells her name in the same way that she does (odd spelling of fairly not odd name) - it smells like heaven. Pure unadulterated heaven.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

meet me in the library in 15 minutes -
don't bother with clothes, they'll only get in the way.
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

See you there!

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

yer
the Oxfam bookshop in Windsor is great - plus they sell MONEY
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

Do they?!
I'd love a pound note. If they have any, can you tell me how much they are?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)

have you not got a pound note?
I probably have a spare one somewhere
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:36, archived)

Noooo, should I?
When did they go out of circulation?

I'd like a halfpenny as well, because they went out of being legal tender in the year I was born. I must shop for these things.

Don't you give me your spares, you might need them! Oh you lovely kitty though.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:38, archived)

Scotland
more reasons to come to Scotlans.

pound notes are here.
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)

Oh fuck.
Pound notes, Scottish accents, men in occasional kilts....


Fucking hell, when I die, if I've been a really good girl I might end up in Scotland.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

I have a friend who works for visitscotland
I'm sending him this post

:)
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:43, archived)

It's a good thing I live so far away.
I have to talk to a lot of people from Uddingston in my work and it doesn't make life any easier when some great big Glaswegian chap is growling something down the phone at me.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:45, archived)

Waterstones is owner by HMV
and I agree - both business models are untennable in a future where people never leave the safe glow of their monitor.
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:29, archived)

I love a good shopping trip.
Had one recently in Oxford, it was LOVELY. Just me and my best mate being girls and trolling around, absolutely wonderful.

To be fair, spending time with her makes my heart swell anyway as I love her so much, but it just was brilliant fun.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:31, archived)

sounds great
it does kind of piss me off the way everywhere is turning into Main Street UK, and Quirky off main street UK... Boutique Street UK
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:34, archived)

I like side streets.
The best shops are on side streets.


Go to Thame actually, very few chain stores in Thame.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:37, archived)

FUCKING LOVELY MEAT
and also what Waspy said

*goes to lav*
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:06, archived)

*Unexpected Horse

( Wobbly Bloke says "oh for Gods sake" on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:07, archived)

Hahahahaha
That's ace!


Spoonerisms Challenge Entry

( Barbarossa is coughing up his lungs on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:09, archived)

Sock cooker!

( Fresh Water Mole - loves his baby boy more and more each day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:18, archived)

FWOAR
needs more baps and suggestive hand gestures

(Ad7 Rename knives to 'gay sticks' and stop knife crime, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:15, archived)

haha still love that
my missus got her new cookbook, sadly she's cut down on the gratuitous 'look at my tits' shots and actually focussed on the cooking a bit more
( Finite appears to be falling apart, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

:(

(Ad7 Rename knives to 'gay sticks' and stop knife crime, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:17, archived)

She's a bitch
But still prettier than her dad
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:21, archived)

I didn't know you knew finite's missus

( Barbarossa is coughing up his lungs on, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:23, archived)

haha
he's not wrong either :D
( Finite appears to be falling apart, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

Hahaha!


( Fresh Water Mole - loves his baby boy more and more each day, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:16, archived)

:D
gleesome
( Prof UnderCover belligerence aroused by a real or supposed wrong, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:26, archived)

There aren't many women I'd punch people in order to get to
but Nige is definitely one. I'd....worship her.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:27, archived)

its the posh that does it for me
stick a posh accent on any woman and her attractiveness goes up ten-fold!
(Ad7 Rename knives to 'gay sticks' and stop knife crime, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:30, archived)

*keeps mouth firmly shut, then*

( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:32, archived)

hah
just do some crosswords whilst looking over the rims of your glasses then, that'll do me ;)
(Ad7 Rename knives to 'gay sticks' and stop knife crime, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:33, archived)

3 across: Manwowler (anag.)

( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:35, archived)

I don't sound posh to some
just to others. I don't know, I don't sound it to me. I think it depends on what I'm doing.

I'm always looking over my glasses, they fall down my nose.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:35, archived)

Then you need a bigger nose!
Women with glasses... *sigh*
(Ad7 Rename knives to 'gay sticks' and stop knife crime, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

HAHAHA bollocks do I
It's taking over my face as it is.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:40, archived)

oh,
well in that case get Mr. Wow to pull your ears further back on your head.
OR get a monocle!
(Ad7 Rename knives to 'gay sticks' and stop knife crime, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:42, archived)

I'd have to have one for each eye
as I'm shit without my glasses.
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:47, archived)

here is an idea:
get TWO monocles, join them together with some sort of wire, attach hooks on either side

PROFIT
(Ad7 Rename knives to 'gay sticks' and stop knife crime, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:49, archived)

any accent will do
Except essex
"allo, ahm frorm Romfd aint Ah, Shaz where's me bleeding voka?"

Eugh
(Vinegar strokes Why don't cows wear bras?, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:39, archived)

I've never even been there.
Nope, tell a lie, I went to Waltham Abbey once.

Hang on, is that still Herts?
( Captain Wow currently being a cunt in Infamous, Fri 16 May 2008, 12:41, archived)

Torienko
I just wanna understanto what you saido?
(yamoo, Fri 16 May 2008, 14:32, archived)

wow that's amazing
she cooked her own vagina
( Frumbert has no sig, Fri 16 May 2008, 13:48, archived)