From the Abusive ducks challenge. See all 473 entries (closed)

( Leningrad twitter.com/takebacks, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:19, archived)

haha
this duck looks too inocent for that
( My Ass Is On Fire due to constant gas leak, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:20, archived)

That's what she WANTS you think..

( Thinker, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:22, archived)

how do you know it's a she?

( My Ass Is On Fire due to constant gas leak, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:45, archived)

But how did he strike the match?
One of life's improbable questions.
( Quijibo Esq. BSc. Stop ITV! http://dontruinthecrystalmaze.com, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:22, archived)

rough duck bill
they can be used like sandpaper, saw it once on MacGuyver.
( Jeccius 3DS friend code 4897-6337-7123, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:23, archived)

What to do if you have a single match, an urge to burninate and nothing to strike it on:
Use nearest available duck.
( Quijibo Esq. BSc. Stop ITV! http://dontruinthecrystalmaze.com, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:25, archived)

This suggests that 2 ducks would've caused that fire
One to hold the match, the other to provide the sandpaper.
( Jeccius 3DS friend code 4897-6337-7123, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:30, archived)

the match is unburned
the one in his bill is doubtless intended for a further act of EVIL(TM)
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:30, archived)

Watch out Skegness.

( Leningrad twitter.com/takebacks, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:34, archived)

Naughty Shaniqua!

( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! @thehittvshow, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:22, archived)

YES

( gronkpan http://bit.ly/8ANAej, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:26, archived)

Did he use
Swan vestas?

:D
( XLVII ♥, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:28, archived)

Arf!

( Fresh Water Mole - loves his baby boy more and more each day, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:32, archived)

Nah...

( b3th The Wicked Witch of the West Country, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:35, archived)

Warning:
sex with pillars may cause fires
( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:36, archived)

it's the friction

( b3th The Wicked Witch of the West Country, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:38, archived)

If only they'd used lube

( my other username is a porsche , posting shit pictures so you don't have to, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:39, archived)

one cannot overstate
the importance of using lube
( b3th The Wicked Witch of the West Country, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:40, archived)

Hahahaha! The truth!
From late last night 'cos I'm a reposting whore:

( Fishcat Good morning, that's a nice tnetennba, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 10:38, archived)