I wish to complain about this 02 ticket what I purchased not half an hour ago
Oh yes, the Michael Jackson. What's wrong with it?



From the Michael Jackson challenge. See all 250 entries (closed)

(BratislavaBanana, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:25, archived)

Ha ha ha!
This news really is pulling all the lurkers out....
( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Ph.D., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

haha
we heard about it last night in a bar and the first thing one of my mates waid was woohoo I don't have to go to the concert now, and the second thing he did was to ring his wife to tell to get their money back asap!
( Griffy Savalas Become her drillosaur, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:53, archived)

hahahahahahahaha!
Now THATS good.

I wonder if this is perhaps the greatest and most elaborate scam of all time.

He's skint, needs to to provide a nest egg for his kids, knows his body is fucked, arranges a massive world tour, charges extortiante prices, pockets the cash, then dies. Profit!
Reemember he'd already cancelled half the O2 dates and postponed them for two eyars. Who's to say the other half weren't about to be 'postyponed' as well?
( Joe Scaramanga - One Week Left To SPONSOR ME: SEE MY PROFILE NOW!!!!!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:26, archived)

He's dead dave

( epiphany landed a 180 on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

What? even Shellby?
(ScrewYouHippy, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

I've eaten half the crew!

( Joliet has some fucking Jaffa Cakes in her coat pocket!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

( Haku is still addicted to Wispas, and trance music, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 15:01, archived)

OMG
WTF? When did this happen... I'm going to sack my PA - why wasn't I told?
( jon_tanner, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

*dons tin foil hat*

( mediocre *canned laughter*, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:31, archived)

*buys bacofoil shares*
it won't be the only theory over the next few months

EDIT: In other news

I have a question for those of you who use PAINT.

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU USE IT?
I've spent half hour trying to make a shit picture. I can't do simple stuff like move text. WTF?!!
( Joe Scaramanga - One Week Left To SPONSOR ME: SEE MY PROFILE NOW!!!!!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:32, archived)

hahahahaha it's easy :D

( epiphany landed a 180 on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:40, archived)

not when you're used to tattyshop it isn't
where's the crop tool?
where's the proportional resizing?
where's the layers?

it's rubbish! ANd as a result I'm going to chuck things oput the window
( Joe Scaramanga - One Week Left To SPONSOR ME: SEE MY PROFILE NOW!!!!!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:43, archived)

you don't need those tools
Use Paint.net if you want basic with a bit of extra, such as layers and shit.

But Paint.exe does the job fine :D
( epiphany landed a 180 on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:45, archived)

Pixelmator FTW!
Great app. 90% of tattyshop for £50 $59!!!!.
Result!
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock our time is running out, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:47, archived)

cheers for that
i just need something for the weekend... as it were
( Joe Scaramanga - One Week Left To SPONSOR ME: SEE MY PROFILE NOW!!!!!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 11:15, archived)

( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:57, archived)

You have to shout really loudly at your computer screen

COMPUTER: MOVE TEXT!
( mediocre *canned laughter*, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:42, archived)

^ All software should work like this.
:)
( J Peasemould Gruntfuttock our time is running out, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:49, archived)

i had a dream last night that i was at an outdoor bar
and the bar staff were handing out tinfoil hats. it was a sort of theme or something. i remember thinking "this is my kind of bar"
( spacefish is imaginary oh, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:50, archived)

Be a bit of a shit one as there is a complete refund on all teh tickets ;)

( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Ph.D., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

I wondered this too, I am a big cynic
Apparently in the past when he cancelled a concert he sent a personal cheque to people by way of a refund, most of them didn't cash the cheque as they had a personal cheque from him. Therefore he kept the dollar! May be nonsense but clever nonsense.
Or Nonce Sense, of course!
(Bezmina, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

First thing I said to my dad last night when he switched on the TV and we saw the reports
was "the conspiracy theories are going to outlive his music".
( The Hedgehog From Hell 's days are numbered, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:33, archived)

elvis isn't dead you know, I saw him at a bus stop in parkes...

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

Aye, I said the same to my ma.
It wont be long before The National Enquirer spot him on the moon with Elvis, Lord Lucan and Shergar :)
( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Ph.D., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

now look, we've been through this - Lord Lucan is living in the cave next door to Osama bin Laden
from Osama's blog:

DAY ONE

today ive put up a poster of WILLY NELSON in my cave thanks to the speshal red cross parsel i found in the mounterns

DAY TOO

my male order IN-CAVE DIALLERSIS MASHINE arrived from EEBAY it is grate and shiny i will give good feedback a plus plus recomended then i will plug it in and away we go next i want to get GEE TEE AY SAM ANDREAS to run on it

DAY THREE

poo my cave has NO SOKETS so i cant plug it in

DAY FORE

feel a bit kweesy today have had to resort to FISHER PRISE PULL-ALONG DIALLERSIS MACHINE now i will have a lie down and think about CARREL VORDEMAN and her det consolerdashun lones

DAY FIVE

americkerns bommed outside but missed agane but now there is another hole i will keep my peas in it innit

DAY SICKS

have found out LORD LUKERN is living in next cave so i wil go round for tea tomorow and ask who done his SOKETS

DAY SEVEN

went round LORD LUKERNS to wotch telly i am very poplier on AL BBC WAHED then i watched the WOLD CUP if i was in the WOLD CUP id carry the borl on my turban and shoot anyone who got near

DAY ATE

LORD LUKERNS got SATERLITE BROADBEAN instorled the git

DAY NINE

went round LORD LUKERNS to play WOLD OF WARTCRAFT i am a levl 96 ninja i have a speshal bat its got +75% damidge agenst TROLS

DAY TEN

have moved into LORD LUKERNS cave cos hes gone mising agen i hope he doesnt come back cos hes got loads of grovy stuff like the SONNY PEE ESS THREE but theres a weerd box in the back cave with SHERGARS HAY ritten on it i dunno wot that is

DAY ELEVEN

woke up and found it was all a dream like BOBY EWING and in fact i am still in my presidenshal sweet at the COPTHORN in WOKINGERM where i have been hiding for the parst five yeers

DAY NINTEY FORE

nobody done a coment on my blog so i deleeted it
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:36, archived)

I like the bit about his pees :D

( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Ph.D., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:38, archived)

I expressed wonder at the fact that Liz Taylor outlived him!
(Bezmina, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:44, archived)

that would be elaborate
all these years he's been replacing parts of his body so that one day, when the plastic shell is complete, the real Michael Jackson can make a dash for it by the back exit.

Now there's an image for Friday morning.
( mozza http://indmill.com, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

Pics or it didn't happen

( Just Juan Cornetto will take you to the lo-rider show 'n flaunt ya on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

he's pinning.

(k3b/-\b Peace man., Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

I'm absolutely fuming that I didn't put money on him not doing the concerts
Based on the fact that everyone was wetting their knickers over getting tickets and that he had form for not turning up for gigs, I was SURE he wouldn't do the concerts.

DAMMIT!
( Joliet has some fucking Jaffa Cakes in her coat pocket!, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

Hahahaha

( epiphany landed a 180 on, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:27, archived)

I hear the backing singers are
The Choir Invisibule.
( Captn Hood-Butter, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:28, archived)

it's kippin' on its back
in an oxygen tent
( finnbar the occasional acid flashback, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

lols
..by the TRUCKLOAD
( elvisweathercock, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

haha

( riverghost Discomeats likes pies, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:29, archived)

I think it's only fair that his coffin should be wheeled into the O2 Arena for 50 nights in a row so people can look at it

look scream
( mediocre *canned laughter*, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

probably the best one yet :)

( The Great Architect, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:30, archived)

Hahaha

( Barbarossa, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:34, archived)

Hahahaha this is fantastic!
Nicely :D
( ClanSoul http://www.clansoul.com/community/, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:35, archived)

hahaha.
Thought i would pop into b3ta.... yup all is as expected.

Hi all.
(Ning is wearing pants today, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

gd job
also, good lurkage
( dogigniter Putting the um, in bum, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 10:37, archived)

Excellent.. in response I offer
E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PIERROT!
(syllopsium, Fri 26 Jun 2009, 16:06, archived)

<Coughs>
O2. Not 02.
(Rear Admiral Cockbrush MBE wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Sun 28 Jun 2009, 20:07, archived)