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#
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:09, archived)
# huge bollocks
woo
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:11, archived)
# Well spotted
I was wondering if the lady in the orange dress was a 'looker'.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:13, archived)
# Does anyone know their spiders?
I found a spider that looks like this in a bunch of grapes I bought from Tesco's. I don't have a digi camera on me so I drew it. It is only about 18mm or so long, but I've never seen one like it before. The grapes came from Spain and Greece apparently, if that helps. It's got a massive abdomen (or is it thorax?) compared to its head, and has quite distinctive markings. It is also quite glossy. I want to know if it's something interesting.

(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:06, archived)
# it's a cambodian potato spider
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:07, archived)
# thats no spider
is a zulu head dress
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:14, archived)
# l00n
...
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:16, archived)
# is the zulu on the right
wearing sunglasses?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:17, archived)
# yes
...you racist
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:25, archived)
# bindun
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:36, archived)
# Daddy long legs?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:08, archived)
# Dunno
but that would make a cool tattoo
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:08, archived)
# on your face
you goth
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:09, archived)
# Yes.
Actually no, I'd get it on my taint. :P
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:11, archived)
# hello
i've heard that a while back a b3tan died, and someone emailed you about it.

everyone on 4thur's rather curious 'bout it, do you remember who it is, please?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:13, archived)
# tattoo's generally look poo
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:10, archived)
# Tattoos are crap
only if you don't get something you have designed yourself. Whats the point in getting a tattoo if other people have exactly the same thing?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:13, archived)
# come on
I find it hard to draw mickey mouse very well, so I just choose one out of the book.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:16, archived)
# its a GrecoSpanish Death Spider
looking directly at it will cause you to catch AIDS.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:08, archived)
# Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
I'm a qualified arachnophobe and I can tell you thats a Greek pointy legged black with white triangles spider.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:08, archived)
# Yes.
That'll be one of them there 'spiders' I think. Lucky they didn't charge you extra for it. Either way, stamp on the fucker.

try here: www.ecommercetemplates.com/support/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=10502
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:08, archived)
# har de har.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:23, archived)
# Interesting.....
but I don't think it's a lethal one.

Araneus diadematus possibly?

Nicked image, sorry.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:09, archived)
# Nah
Needs bigger teeth with a bridge.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:10, archived)
# Nope
Nice try but my spider is jet black and quite shiny, almost beetle-like.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:24, archived)
# does it have a red tinge to it?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:29, archived)
# Nope
I checked to see if it was a black widow, but it does not have the red hourglass.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:30, archived)
# is it like this
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:35, archived)
# A bit, yes
But the markings on the back are very clear and well defined, just like in my drawing. Your one looks a little more wishy washy as it were.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:39, archived)
# Ahhhh
then i think you'll find thet the spider is none other then Steatoda triangulosa.

it is a native UK spider, but is also the only native UK spider that is able to bite you, but don't worry, it's only happened about 5 times in the last 20 years, they're more scared of you. They originaten in the canarie island, but moved here because of the warm climate.

try this link
www.uark.edu/depts/entomolo/museum/steatoda.html
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:46, archived)
# That looks very similar
Except mine is very black and its markings are even more defined.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:53, archived)
# it could be on of the Steatoda family.
i'll have a quick look for you.

[EDIT]
Looks like you have a female, they tend to be darker in colour.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:56, archived)
# Thanks for your help.
Says its bite isn't particularly nice but rare.

Nice one.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 15:21, archived)
# Black Widow
You're dooooooooomed.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:09, archived)
# it's a
spider... run!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:09, archived)
# Try here:
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:10, archived)
# Thanks
Nice link but can't find it on there
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:24, archived)
# FUCK!
run, get out of your house now and call environmental health.

thats the spanish 'fuckme' spider, so called because when it bite you scream 'FUCK ME!'
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:11, archived)
# think yourself lucky
I just found this :




in my cutlery draw
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:12, archived)
# borgeoise?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:37, archived)
# is that the horrible
fucker in copenhagen?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:44, archived)
# It's known as
a "Grecian Half-moon Spider". I don't recall the latin name. They're pretty rare, and they're relatively harmless for the most part; they can bite but it's not even as bad as a wasp sting. However you do have to be careful; their excretions are fairly poisonous and can cause swelling and sickness, and in some rare cases can cause residual erectile dysfunction, since the poison affects blood vessels. You'll be fine, as long as you don't eat the grapes.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:12, archived)
# You see...
...you sound like you know exactly what you are talking about. You lost me at the dysfunciton bit...

Why is it I can't find anything about this on-line, hmmm?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:25, archived)
# erectile - the erectile tissue in the penis
i'm sure you can figure the rest out
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:29, archived)
# I know what he's saying
But his story lost credibility at that point. And besides, I've got £1.50 worth of grapes I'm wondering whether I should eat.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:32, archived)
# You need to ask yourself
if your continued sexual capacity is worth more to you than £1.50.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:37, archived)
# You complete and utter bastard.
What to do, what to do........? I'll offer them around the office and see if anything happens.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:40, archived)
# or rub yourself off
after handleing it
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:26, archived)
# i hope it's not one of
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:13, archived)
# try to outrun it
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:17, archived)
# can i hug it?
it looks hugtastic :)
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:19, archived)
# sure!
he's just a big fluffy bunny really.
Once you get to know him.
and have the anti-venom.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:27, archived)
#
I found one of these in my sock drawer once
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:36, archived)
# Yay!
for Susan Stranks! (Paperplay - kiddies TV from yeeearrsssss back.)
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:40, archived)
# Orb weaver probably
harmless little fella.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:46, archived)
# Looks a bit similar
but not quite right.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:54, archived)
#


If you were wondering, inspiration came from here - an upcoming festive comedy starring drug-pushing laugh-vacuum Tim Allen and former cock-wearing titbag Jamie Lee Curtis.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:04, archived)
# egad - an uncanny likeness
you will be able to say you got in first.
I forsee hundreds of identical photoshops in the future.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:06, archived)
# I'd fuck
that dwarf bitch in the eye.


*Gets back to his work.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:07, archived)
# filthy
PDF file
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:32, archived)
#
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
# .......
....and breathe
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
# Dad?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
# can't he find a
wig that fits him?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:04, archived)
# only one made of
fourteen foxes.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:07, archived)
# better be quick before hunting them is banned . . .
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:09, archived)
# I'm really bored of these mens' weeklies, what's wrong with a good old fashioned newspaper?
Kelly Brook. Nice.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)
# wanklies
is the term I believe
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)
# More to the point
what's wrong with Now?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:05, archived)
# in all good record stores...
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:57, archived)
# ha ha ha
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)
# phwoar
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:00, archived)
# Play that funky music J boy
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:00, archived)
# I laughed too hard for my lungs.
Now they hurt and wheeze.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:04, archived)
# JC, on the ones and twos
wikid.

Although his Dad got the gig for him...
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:02, archived)
# TESTIFY!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:03, archived)
# well
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:20, archived)
# oops
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:57, archived)
# ARF!
hahaha brilliant
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:58, archived)
# they took the
highway to the danger zone
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:58, archived)
# i'm glad b3ta's back, i've loggin'd again
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)
# Loggins?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:00, archived)
# Back by public demand
you're now rockin' with a one man band
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
# hahahahahahahaha.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:00, archived)
# Please tell me that's shopped
...and that people aren't so stoopid as to do that to their houses?
Woo whatever :)
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:00, archived)
# Inspired by troodle below...

by'inspired', I obviously mean that troo is to blame for this tenuous pun
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:57, archived)
# Toon
pu' sum wattor un it hinny!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:58, archived)
# thats a really good
BITMAP BITMAP der ner ner ner BITMAP BITMAP der ner ner ner ner ner

Geordie in furness or did you mean barrow
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)
# um...bitmap?
please don't make me explain it. its too painful.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:02, archived)
#
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:53, archived)
# Arf!
I'd buy that*

*never

Woo!

EDIT: It's a Fake! There's no . . .

wait for it . . .

Lidl by Lidl
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:54, archived)
# woo
yay and 100mbs of houpla uplaoded
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:54, archived)
# bindun
but woo
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:55, archived)
# every reason
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:52, archived)
# Ahem!
You are supposed to shop the images . . .

Woo!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:53, archived)
# GRRR
i fucking hate that guy!!! just seeing him makes me angry!!! ARGHHHHH!!!

*runs down stairs and smacks girlfriend in the face*

woo to da pic
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:54, archived)
# mmmm
looks like he has come to reveiw the meals from our works canteen. and got my special caustic soda mini samosa entre
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:55, archived)
# ha ha ha ha ha ha
that's not laughter...
it's me karate chopping the twunt!


actually, i am laughing 'cos that's woo!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:56, archived)
#

(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:49, archived)
# spack
in a box, woo
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:50, archived)
# spackinabox?
Shouldn't Joey Deacon popping out!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:56, archived)
# Haha!
That really am woo!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:50, archived)
# Is he looking for weapons of mass destruction?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:51, archived)
# Ahem
Moss destruction?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:52, archived)
# Gerrrrooaannnnn!
*TURFS TrainHitsBoy off B3ta . . .
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:53, archived)
# Hang on
Whoa! I like it here.




*Besides. Working for your money sucks.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:56, archived)
# I'll employ you
you can work for soup!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:57, archived)
# I've just had
soup.


No.


Really.

It was chicken.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
# then you'd better get to work then hadn't you
I don't run a holiday camp you know - this is a sweat shop and those fake Gucci wallets have to be on the streets of Hong Kong by Sunday - so get to it!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:04, archived)
# Ahem!
TURFS . . .
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:58, archived)
# Naa...
He'd have to search my sock drawer for that...
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:54, archived)
# is that the bloke
that plays McGiver?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:56, archived)
# also Jack Oneil
on Stargate SG-1, which is where i believe that pic came from.

/nerd.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
# hence the P90...
/ultranerd
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:05, archived)
# Woo!
Have you had your RDA of RDA?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:03, archived)
# nice plums
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:46, archived)
# Plumparing for emergencies . . . ?
Woo!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:48, archived)
# is this a game of 'Mastermind'
There's an online version of that that I've cracked in 5 guesses just about every time.
www.gotoandplay.it/_games/_masterMind/m3.php
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:49, archived)
# new from apple
the iPlum ... it looks really pretty and it's not Microsoft!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:51, archived)
# I would
*fwap*
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
# I am so sorry about this.


Actually, I'm not. Tee hee!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:46, archived)
# erm . . . ?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:52, archived)
# isn't it obvious?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:52, archived)
# G'wan then
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:54, archived)
# erm...
well...

when you inflate mango chut... no, when you shoot chutney through a pump... erm... when you expose mango chutney to high pressures, it denatures the polymers which make the chutnery goodness and... nope.

erm...?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:57, archived)
# That fat Gayers name isn't
Mango Pumpy is it?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:59, archived)
# sorry no
It's meant to denote that Jeremy Spake is a no good cum-gullet, chutney pumper. I hate Spake!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:00, archived)
# Ah
it all becomes clear . . .
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:01, archived)
# I thought it was Mykeyboy??
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:15, archived)
# ..
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
# hahahahahahahahahahaahah
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:43, archived)
# And in unison...
"I STILL would!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:44, archived)
# Holy shit yeah!
A Gail Porter midget, form a que!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:44, archived)
# Form
a what?*


*Spanish
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:46, archived)
# come now form a que
do as instructed mine is nearly finished I just need to chalk the tip
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:48, archived)
# I geddit!
Form the Quo.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:49, archived)
# ROLF
TEH QUE?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:54, archived)
# Rolf?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:56, archived)
# *slaps*
that pun is dreadful, even for you.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:07, archived)
# Huzzah!
I thought no-one had noticed
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 14:11, archived)
# Definitely would.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:44, archived)
# Mmmm!

Porter . . . the darkest of the beers . . .

Woo!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:44, archived)
# uuummmmmmm
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:47, archived)
# knees are over rated
i still would, in fact she's probably just the right height.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:45, archived)
# seconded
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:47, archived)
# the correct height to rest a pint of beer on her head.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:50, archived)
# Or my
ballsack.







* I is tall.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:51, archived)
# but then how would she gobble your cock?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:55, archived)
# I was going
to kick her backdoor in anyway.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:58, archived)
# no reason
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:39, archived)
# Luckily
no reason is needed! Hurrah!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:40, archived)
# There is indeed a reason
and it is because he is a fucking cock

and we should all gang up and kick him in the nuts

twice
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:41, archived)
# *kicks him up the nuts

*kicks him up the nuts again

*and again

*and again

I just can't stop . . .
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
# Ta-daaa
There I was in't middle of Gayshift, and t'bloody site went down like some NSFW on a NSFW with NSFW.

So here, have something the daytime folks don't usually get to see... Troodle Doodles!


(Clicky for bigness)
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:39, archived)
# Why is he balancing a harmonica on his nose?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:41, archived)
# so Riker will throw him a fish, Dur!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
# Some whacky
gay star trek thing ;)
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
# He's hoping that
Larry Adler will travel through time and space to restore his sight with his magical musical medicine-breath.
Obviously.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:43, archived)
# That's bloody good, that is
Did you cheat?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
# I do not
cheat sir.

I use real pencils, and no tracing paper.

*sniff* Cheat... Indeed.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:45, archived)
# Chin up
It's a compliment.

I wish I could draw half as well as that.

to your pic
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:47, archived)
# *sniff*
I like your screw... *waggles eyebrows*
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:49, archived)
# its full of troodley goodness
and very small and neat. so a picture of geordie is just enough to give us all a treat
woo
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
# Mr Luke

I only came out to get some f**kin' milk!
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:38, archived)
# t-Shirt says it all
woo to that subtlty
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:41, archived)
# Is that a crushing put down?
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
# sorry
that may have come out wrong. truck load of fluffyness is being dispatched now.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:44, archived)
# arf
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:42, archived)
# dunno why it sells so well
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:37, archived)
# arf!
take a bow
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:39, archived)
# That. Is. GENIUS.
have an Oscar(tm)
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:39, archived)
# Took a mo
Woo
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:40, archived)
# hahaha!
Took me a bit longer than it probably should have.

Woo to you
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:40, archived)
# Brilliantness!
Very woo.
(, Thu 16 Sep 2004, 13:41, archived)

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