The Coldplay pic down there made me want to do this.


Quick 'n' shit, but I had way too much fun doing it.
( The Hedgehog From Hell should be drowned like a superfluous kitten, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:32, archived)

teh fear
*shudders*
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:35, archived)

'shopped only please

(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:47, archived)

Yay!

( kinks rock over London, rock on Chicago, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:49, archived)

Pfffffffft

( Walrus Man Think hippy thoughts, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 19:19, archived)

Bindun?



never mind, I don't care if it has... still made me giggle like a little girl
( Pope Yoda started wasting 7 more years on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:19, archived)

Christ! J.K. Rowling just keeps coming out with the revelations, doesn't she?
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7053982.stm
( The Hedgehog From Hell should be drowned like a superfluous kitten, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:21, archived)

haha yeah
I saw that on my homepage news and had to do the swirly face
( Pope Yoda started wasting 7 more years on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:21, archived)

How the fuck is that a "revelation"
and why are there long articles about it?
( Shada, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:23, archived)

Well, I didn't know.
I thought he just wanted to handle my wand.
( The Hedgehog From Hell should be drowned like a superfluous kitten, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:30, archived)

^
this
( Pope Yoda started wasting 7 more years on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:30, archived)

Could it be
that JKR just makes it up as she goes along to keep her works in the media's attention? Can't beat a good bit of outing of a central character, months after the last book is printed, to get everyone talking again.
(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:50, archived)

and how the fuck is it relevant
considering it isn't explained in any of the books? (I assume)

The series is OVER - she can't change nowt now. So be a good girl and shut the fuck up, JK. Maybe we can move on as a culture and find some better literature.
( Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 19:20, archived)

Prof D was never
[in his fictional existence] a ladies' man though, was he?

Besides, there are films to plunder the Potter fortunes yet to come, so it's not like she needs the extra publicity; she was just doing a book tour thingy and someone asked her about Dumbledor's love-life.
( Ye of Little Faith : relishing the charnal stench of a rural summer, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 20:12, archived)

That's appalling! I can't believe she would do that.
Rowling said to the audience: "I would have told you earlier if I knew it would make you so happy".

It should be "I would have told you earlier if I HAD KNOWN it would make you so happy."

You use the past perfect with the third conditional, Rowling. See me after class.
( somegreybloke, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 19:44, archived)

Gay=paedo
?
(frank jizzism, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:24, archived)

well
Gay, hangs out with a couple little boys and never talks the the little girl. Shows up mysteriously in said little boys Dorm room for "A private chat" has his flaming bird cry on said little boy, ect ect ect

Edit: tell said boy that he must never tell his friends their "Secret"
( Pope Yoda started wasting 7 more years on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:26, archived)

0_o
Fan sites have long speculated on Dumbledore's sexuality as he was known for having a mysterious, troubled past.

How the fuck did they know??
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:26, archived)

They must obsess about the intricacies of the Harry Potter universe
more than the rest of us normal, adult humans.
( The Hedgehog From Hell should be drowned like a superfluous kitten, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:33, archived)

no shit sherlock!

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:34, archived)

the constipated victorian detective

( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:36, archived)

who worked it all out with a pencil

(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:48, archived)

alimentary
:)
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:59, archived)

Enough crazy theories on a sensationalist piece of fiction
means that by some are bound to be lucky
( TIAL Four capital letters, written in gold., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:42, archived)

what's this all about?
this swirly business?
( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:31, archived)

heh
www.litwc.com/2007/10/08/pedo-foiled-by-photoshop/
( Pope Yoda started wasting 7 more years on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:32, archived)

Why not just do this?

Then again, they can see straight away that the paedo is the elephant man.
( ClanSoul thanks, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 19:01, archived)

it's a new disguise for
paedophiles.
( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 19:14, archived)

JK Rowling
said Dumbledore was gay.

:)
( Killerkitti Like my coffee black, just like my metal, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 21:22, archived)

little tutorial.

here
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:35, archived)

ooooooh
*tries*
( Cunthorse, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:37, archived)

Nice tutorial!
Would it work in The GIMP?
( ClanSoul thanks, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:38, archived)

Im sure it would!

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:40, archived)

I shall try

( ClanSoul thanks, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:42, archived)

any joy yet?

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:30, archived)

he's still putting on the mask
:)
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:32, archived)

:D

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:35, archived)

HAHAHAHAHAHA

( ClanSoul thanks, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:53, archived)

sorry man
I couldn't not say that :)
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 19:01, archived)

None

( ClanSoul thanks, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:54, archived)

Nice!
That would have saved David Hockney a lot of bother.
( enceladus, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:41, archived)

he he

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:54, archived)

ooooh purty
TJ: Anyone any good at flash games? I'm trying to make a time limit on one I just made but have no idea how.
( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:50, archived)

flash game university
flashgameu.com/book_detailed_table_contents.html
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:58, archived)

cheers

( Laird Dave Draws Now charges to take off his clothes., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:00, archived)

DAMMIT
I wanted horses
( Pope Yoda started wasting 7 more years on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:24, archived)

hahahahahaha

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:27, archived)

Excuse my ignorance, for I am far from a photoshop expert
But would it not be a shitload easier just to create a layer of scattered polaroid images, with the picture section tansparent, then overlay it onto the original image?

EDIT: Ha, thats sort of what you did. Sorry, I didn't read it, just looked at the pretty pictures.
( 4dam party, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:05, archived)

Or buy a polaroid camera
And take lots of pictures of something, then scatter them on your desk?

edit: just being facetious, not meaning to be ignorant. I like the effect.
( The Hedgehog From Hell should be drowned like a superfluous kitten, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:07, archived)

YOU FACETIOUS CUNT

( 4dam party, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:13, archived)

just being facetious
but I had a shit today
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:37, archived)

True. Or if you want to avoid
the expense of buying a polaroid camera, you could use a normal film camera, and make little off-centre borders for the prints out of white paper.
( enceladus, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:14, archived)

thats
gorgeous
(fmpumps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:15, archived)

thanks
and welcome to b3ta, pull up a meme and shop a croissant.
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:28, archived)

Perform a Quadruple Heart Bypass for £200
My Arse!



news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/7053221.stm
(Hauptman Von Butter Kasse You are all a bunch of mincing pansies, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:28, archived)

I love the finger foods line
"Finger my arse...HAHAHAHAHAHA"
( ClanSoul thanks, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:32, archived)

^this I love this show.

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:37, archived)

I bought my parents a dvd of it once,
knowing full well they hate it, just so I could watch it.
( ClanSoul thanks, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:43, archived)

Smugplay

(caparzo21 If life gives you demons, make demonade, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:20, archived)

"I'd buy that for a dollar!"

(ToMeToYou is bumming a Unicorn on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:21, archived)

*gives 99 cents change*

( gfreeman http://twiglet.myminicity.com/, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:22, archived)

Pffft!
*counts change regarding QOTW!*
(ToMeToYou is bumming a Unicorn on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:23, archived)

*helps weld off seven eighths of a penny*

( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:30, archived)

Its funny because its true

( Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:23, archived)

I know
I searched b3ta thoroughly before I posted it and was amazed it hadn't been done (as far as I could tell).
(caparzo21 If life gives you demons, make demonade, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:32, archived)

Shopped pictures etc
*clicks* =]
( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:23, archived)

'shopped pics only please ;)
Woo!

edit: mindpissage
( Cunthorse, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:24, archived)

hahaha!
needs more croissant!
( enceladus, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:35, archived)

You really should put this in a spot the difference contest.

(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:43, archived)

Hahahahahahahaha!
That's brilliant.

/hated Coldplay before most people had even heard of them
( The Hedgehog From Hell should be drowned like a superfluous kitten, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:51, archived)

I'm with you there. I heard "Yellow" on the radio
when it was a new song by a little known band and I hated it almost instantly.
( enceladus, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:01, archived)

I just found a Radio Times Doctor Who 10th Anniversary Edition Special

Which includes this picture of Frazer Hines sitting on a Yeti to keep warm.

It's not just me thinking it, is it?

I'm a tad too busy right now DIYing to do the inevitable amination, so if anyone else can be bothered, do feel free!
( WiL Pantheist Bi Polar Polyamoric Pansexual, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:13, archived)

I like how the yeti's hand looks like it's on it way to pulling up that kilt ever so slightly

( hanke murphy, I'm a mess, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:15, archived)

is it an original or one of the recent reprints?
I love that thing
(Quatermass and teh Shit, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:22, archived)

I have no idea, it was just here, amongst the shite
it looks too new to be old, if that's English I am speaking...
( WiL Pantheist Bi Polar Polyamoric Pansexual, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:27, archived)

Frazer Hines Boris Johnson
( Cunthorse, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:29, archived)

Things are always better
with a bit of Hines on top. Nice find!
( enceladus, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:32, archived)

Your very own MrPineapple..
Drawn by your very own whoever I am.

( Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:08, archived)

Awesome stuff =D
*high fives*
( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:08, archived)

*misses*
*glees*
( Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:15, archived)

Tay Zonday?

( Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:15, archived)

You rang?

( jonnyfatman, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:46, archived)

Cool!
Damn, it's better than my MrPineapple.
( The Hedgehog From Hell should be drowned like a superfluous kitten, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:52, archived)

Nah.
Yours is ace.
( Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:55, archived)

I feel I could have done better
with less alcohol in my bloodstream, and less of the whole "it's 2 o'clock in the morning and I have to work in seven hours" vibe. Plus, the scanner fucked the contrast a bit. Those are my excuses, anyway, and I'm sticking to them.

(Although it's the first time in ages I've attempted something like that, so I'm still actually a bit pleased with it.)
( The Hedgehog From Hell should be drowned like a superfluous kitten, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:58, archived)

Time for a vaguely related pearoast

( jonnyfatman, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:20, archived)

pfffft
hahahahaha
(roband dropped the screw in the tuna, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:21, archived)

HAHAHAHAHA!
This is ace!
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:21, archived)

ouch

( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:22, archived)

Hahaha
Nice work!
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:27, archived)

woo
yay
thats funny.
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:32, archived)

Haha
Ace =P
( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:35, archived)

i so loved this the first time around. :)

( nocturne72, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:35, archived)

Aww
Nice that someone remembers
( jonnyfatman, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:38, archived)

hahah
I don't care how tenuously that fits in to the challenge, it's ace. *clicky*
(imnotplayinganymore Like a rock. Like a planet., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:08, archived)

Have a WOO!
and a YAY!
(Hauptman Von Butter Kasse You are all a bunch of mincing pansies, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:32, archived)

hahahaha
brilliant!
( Cunthorse, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:33, archived)

sincere
out loud laughing
( somegreybloke, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 19:39, archived)

A 300px wide FP?!
The world's gone MAD!!
( DaSchop gippie, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 20:52, archived)

Mah wife says..
There is a 300px wide image on your FP.... but ah fixed it now
( jonnyfatman, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 21:42, archived)

Woo for religious people's hats

( hazzamon I've nothing better to do, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 22:10, archived)

Ouch!
That guy in the background has some crazy joints!
( jonnyfatman, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 23:21, archived)

Mandatory Reading

(Newnab, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:00, archived)

Ah, the trilogy of four in five parts.
Seams good!
(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:02, archived)

Those aren't seams
They're supernovas and quasars and stuff. Honest.
(Newnab, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:06, archived)

It's because we're looking at that set of stars from the sideways isn't it?
I see...
(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:08, archived)

Light bending sods.

( Uncle Gilly hides from Plato, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:12, archived)

NICE CHANGE
FROM UPPER CASE TO LOWER Case.

I'm only messing. Woo.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:09, archived)

See above
Insert complicated sci-fi explanation here
(Newnab, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:11, archived)

Must be
the theory of matter displacement corresponding to The Alzburg referendum on textual mediums Circa 5406.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:15, archived)

when's the last time you were outside?

( MontyyouterribleCUNT www.ootsi.co.uk, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:18, archived)

This morning, I'll have you know.
but the sun hurt my eyes
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:19, archived)

The Daystar, it burns us!

( Professor Kenny Martin is "Skullfunkerry" to some, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:28, archived)

hahaha
there was a guy at school who was writing an essay in english, after the first paragraph or two (which was set in the past) he wrote this....

*************************************************
** I AM NOW CHANGING TO PRESENT TENSE **
*************************************************

then he continued the story
( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:14, archived)

I like it.
I heard about one kid who sat a literature exam and the entire contents were thus:

'I hate poems. Poems are shite.'

He got marks for expressing an opinion.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:16, archived)

( Haku now has over 16kg in 1p's and 2p's, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:32, archived)

very good.

( nocturne72, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:38, archived)

Ris?
If I'm honest
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:34, archived)

I'm losing my grip
and patience when it comes to these.
I'll try something else soon.

(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:55, archived)

cor, nice effect
well worth the effort!
( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:56, archived)

It was just
something I stumbled upon t'other week.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:57, archived)

i like these.
lots.
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:00, archived)

bloody love your shadows :)


what do you use?
( prodigy69 's World of Stuff, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:01, archived)

Photoshop and IR

(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:03, archived)

really?..ver' nice effect

( prodigy69 's World of Stuff, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:10, archived)

Thank ye

(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:12, archived)

solid and opaque objects
blocking rays of light
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:03, archived)

Stick a glowing fireplace in the right hand corner!
That'd look very cool in this picture.
Of course it's ledge already..
(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:04, archived)

Too much effort.
I'm off out in a bit.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:07, archived)

Tch, won't even sacrifice being social for us!
Grand so...
(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:11, archived)

That's lovely!
*Jealousises*
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:16, archived)

Cor!
This is aces again!

You know you cant stop!

Yay!

:D
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:18, archived)

I can try.
*fails*
Edit: I'd stay and talk but I'm off out. Bye everybody!
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:20, archived)

Bye mate
:)
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:27, archived)

great stuff
i would say make the shadow from the craft the same colour as the shadow cast by the window though.
(tommclaughlan, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:26, archived)

thats great.
:D
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:34, archived)

I really like these
But it might be an idea to double up the frames, halve the framerate, and do half the movement between the originals to get a smoother result.

It's looking really good, but it's still noticably jumpy at times.

Worthy of a click anyway =D
( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:35, archived)

Anyone else
put in mind of the start of "The Use Of Weapons" by Iain M Banks? Just askin'.
Anyway, stunning lovelinessness. *click*
(PyroTyger is in a quandary. Solvency or Cintiq?, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 18:27, archived)

simliar but not

( Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 19:33, archived)

Mexican girls like islam

(tiberiusgracchus saving the world since;, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:49, archived)

I'm not sure
what you are.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:56, archived)

No?
me neither..
(tiberiusgracchus saving the world since;, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:03, archived)

a cucumber,
perhaps?
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:03, archived)

Pickles!

(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:04, archived)

*conserves*
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:06, archived)

*liberals*
Do I get away with it?
(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:12, archived)

I'll let you off this time,
but don't tell your mother.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:17, archived)

I think he's dutch
:)
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:04, archived)

So
Is that his Dutch Cap?
(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:28, archived)

well, it certainly seems like it should be effective
:D
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:24, archived)

judging by the typical theme of his posts I would say Danish

( Koba http://sexycooladventures.blogspot.com/, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:22, archived)

heh
there are folks in .nl who have these issues too

but it doesn't matter

all the same these foreigners etc...
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:41, archived)

saturday boredum


you may have that.
( TBL has been nicking oldpoints wifi since, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:08, archived)

SCIENCE!

( Jahled a cataclysm of spidery hellfuck would be a welcome, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:14, archived)

FACT!
woo to the pic too
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:17, archived)

IT WORKS, BITCHES

( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:47, archived)

;)
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:55, archived)

Dildo and or Thunderbird rockets are leeethal.
Edit for tj/pearoast: Desktop sized version of my last sluggggy thread

..with creative help from a certain MrPineapple!
( Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:36, archived)

:D
looks great in hd.
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:47, archived)

Cheers!
and congrats on the 1000 posts!
( Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:48, archived)

Cheers bud.

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:55, archived)

Oooh ello Mr Pigeon!
*looks smug*

Very nicely done sir =D
( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:48, archived)

Oh oh oh!
Credit where due! 'Annnng on. Edit: yyayyy!
( Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:49, archived)

1000 post

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:47, archived)

There'll be blue guards over, the white cliffs of Dover...

(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:48, archived)

the title I couldn't find..
:D
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:50, archived)

WOO!

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:57, archived)

Congrats matey! :)

( Jahled a cataclysm of spidery hellfuck would be a welcome, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:58, archived)

Am I supposed to have done a nekid shot?

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:59, archived)

Yes.
Show yer bum.
( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:02, archived)

Get ya tits out

( Jahled a cataclysm of spidery hellfuck would be a welcome, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:04, archived)

I demand
cock
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:34, archived)

( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:48, archived)

nicely!
needs more nakie!
( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:01, archived)

Let's get selective...

Ta for the clicks - now linked to the post on my site where you can find a high-res version.
(clopinettes, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:33, archived)

Heh
That is very clever, and more amusing than the usual "dirkadirkdadirka" posts we've been having.
( PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:34, archived)

I was getting annoyed
But didn't want to be too arsey. Just feel that the Middle East is more than just Burqas and people being stoned and a lot of this compo was really winding me up. That's not to say that there aren't folk on t'other side spreading propaganda that makes us lot seem like we'll shag anything that moves and are permanently stoned in other ways.

Anyway, for reference...

It's Ataturk v. Nixon, Dubai v. Hull (I think it's Hull, could be anywhere in Blighty), No idea who the woman is v. Amsterdam prostitute, Lebanese students v. British yobs, Dishy magazine in Turkey (terrible name eh?) v. gun magazines in a US airport FFS!
(clopinettes, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:48, archived)

fuck off then.

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:53, archived)

( SugarSpunSister I love The Bloody Beetroots, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:02, archived)

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:06, archived)

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:07, archived)

I'm going somewhere fluffier
( SugarSpunSister I love The Bloody Beetroots, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:09, archived)

:D

(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:16, archived)

*buys*
*...*
*profits*
( Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:37, archived)

awww...
poor monopoly man...
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:57, archived)

(atomkinder is deeply unfashionable, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:21, archived)

You disagree?
Just checking.
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:17, archived)

I knew it was Atatürk
I don't know whether that's a good thing or not ;)

Turkey's a lovely place, pity about the politicians (I guess that applies to most places)
( The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:22, archived)

Point
Politicians, even the good ones, should be treated with suspicion and always kept away from children and nervous animals.
(clopinettes, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:00, archived)

It's been revealed that the junior Treasury Minister, Michael Portillo, carries a sawn-off shotgun to constituency meetings, corners children in parks and chews their cheeks and has frequent sexual intercourse with stray animals, claiming "As long as it's got a backbone, I'll do it". That story we reported last week, and have since discovered it to be untrue.
( The Coast Of Yemen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:08, archived)

too arsey?
your comment on your website is a bit patronising.
( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:42, archived)

Fair point...
changed it. Hopefully it's better now?
(clopinettes, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:47, archived)

very balanced =)
you do have a point though.

good post
( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:51, archived)

west is best

(Don Logan you really think I'm gonna have that?, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:35, archived)

Damn
That's actually very good.
*wants to move now*
(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:35, archived)

you want one last bacon sandwich before you go?

( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:38, archived)

Is that a euphemism?

(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:40, archived)

yes
he wants to slide his warm pork between your buns...
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:42, archived)

warm!
it's in the fridge wrapped up in silver foil

also, so is the bacon
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:43, archived)

mine isn't
i had the traditional after-party breakfast of sausages, eggs, bacon and tomatoes. mmmmmmm, them's good eatin'!
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:45, archived)

Yum
I just had the traditional "Can't be bothered even making toast" breakfast of 2 chocolate-orange muffins and a glass of water.
(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:48, archived)

i usually have muesli
but was much drunkened last night, so needed a fry*-up

*all grilled except for the eggs
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:50, archived)

I had lukewarm chips in gravy
:D
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:07, archived)

pff!
the snoring b3tan on my couch has rolled onto the floor, so i'm off to laugh at him and look for chocolate. bye!
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:15, archived)

adios
:D
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:59, archived)

Will there be ketchup involved?

(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:43, archived)

ketchup, mayonnaise, k.y,
you're probably going to need some type of lubricant
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:46, archived)

Nice.

( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:36, archived)

This is very good.
You get my approval.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:36, archived)

blimey a balanced view
you are clearly lost, this is b3ta
or if you are foreign B 3 T A
nicely done
( god save the queen http://www.hatfield-anti-incineration.co.uk/, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:39, archived)

If you're furrin
then it's surely at3b?

Spent ages looking for the NATO offices in Luxembourg before realising that OTAN was the same thing.
(clopinettes, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:03, archived)

Canada is weird
Going through a Canadian airport, signs for the US gates say 'US - EU' for 'Etats Unis' in French. Took me a while to get that. I thought it was a trick to send all French Canadians to Europe instead of America.

Edit: Click, by the way!
(Fuiru Sting, where is thy death?, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:12, archived)

that's cos you aksherlee saw
É-U

and not

EU

(also the flags on the signs are a givaway ...)
( gfreeman http://twiglet.myminicity.com/, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:21, archived)

Fantastic
'click'
( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:41, archived)

Hear hear
At last a decent post that doesn't make me angry reading it. Except firefox won't let me 'I like this!' it...

(Needs more use of the word infidel though.)
(atomkinder is deeply unfashionable, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:42, archived)

I'd click for you...
but is that allowed? Would I immediately be cast into the wastelands of Palestine?
(clopinettes, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:49, archived)

You'll probably be given a shemagh
and told to fend for yourself while dodging helicopter gunships with "Made in USA" stamped on the side.
(atomkinder is deeply unfashionable, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:54, archived)

american components, russian components,
all made in taiwan!
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:57, archived)

nothing to do with Firefox
it's fine here
:)
( finnbar always employs the double tap, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 9:14, archived)

thought-provoking
and far too intelligent for this time of day.
woo to you, sir.
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:43, archived)

Haha, wonderful.
Well done, you intelligent and balanced individual.
( SugarSpunSister I love The Bloody Beetroots, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:57, archived)

You've done that very well
Woo
( Jahled a cataclysm of spidery hellfuck would be a welcome, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:06, archived)

woo/yay/houpla
to you, good Sir.
(Your watch is still saving for 5K but has learnt about 'nose bondage', Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:18, archived)

*high five*
Fantastic work, definitely worthy of a click and a w/y/h! =]
( MrPineapple .co.uk - TSHIRTS FOR SALE. I GIVE YOU GOOD PRICE., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:46, archived)

Brilliant.
Absolutely brilliant.

*round of applause*

Witty and thought provoking. Well deserving of the Front Page accolade and hopefully it will get a nice big mention in next week's newsletter.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 20:57, archived)

I wanted to do something like this
but have no talents (not to mention shekels, dirham or rupiah). Click!
(Emily Bruce-Dickinson http://jovialfellow.blogspot.com/, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 1:25, archived)

bravo

( Electric Otter Tempura Hse: A shelter for lightly battered women., Sun 21 Oct 2007, 5:06, archived)

this is great. thanks for posting it.
this wins the compo as far as i'm concerned.
( postbear has metal knees, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 7:12, archived)

Yeah it's decent...
thought it should be noted that Turkey is a secular democracy and proud of it; not an Islamic state.

Also if they had OUR media it would be far more self-critical.
(Ged, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 11:54, archived)

That's kinda the point
It's mostly Islamic, yet still capable of being secular, modern and progressive.

Look at things you see in Britain, or the US that mention the word God - swap the word God and suddenly we sound more fundamental. eg: In Allah we trust; there but for the grace of Allah go I; or thank Allah for that!

But I'm in danger of either sounding patronising or stupid or something so I'll just shut up now...
(clopinettes, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 12:23, archived)

Strange example to use.
Turkey has a large population of Muslims and is a proud secular state, a more appropriate example would then be a Western country that is secular but has a large population of religious Christians - not that I can think of any; secularism in the West does not tend toward Christian fundamentalism.

Your suggestion that Britain is not a secular state though can only really be argued as a semantic point (there is not even a 'nation founded under God') - secularism as applied to a state is the separation of religion and religious influences from the state practices and state decisions; I don't think it is fair to suggest that Britain is anything other than secular even though some archaic laws can be rustled up containing God's name or pertaining to a religious law (which derives the concept of law in the first place). What is more, Britain is not recently founded and secularism is synonymous with progression in the West, not regression (at least in most people and all politics).

"In Allah we trust; there but for the grace of Allah go I; or thank Allah for that!" - certainly a point but again do any of those phrases suggest you live in a religion-dictated state?
"In God we trust" is written on American currency, hardly part of the common lexicon.
"there but for the grace of God" is a phrase so overused it is more of a soundbite used to denote not God but luck.
"thank God for that!" - well yes, but you are more likely to hear FUCK instead of God or Allah in most Western societies.
Indeed the word God in the West is closer to a profanity than it is a sacred deity whom you form a close, personal, spiritual relationship with.

So perhaps your entry is more valid than I thought - a Muslim state would portray the West like this; inappropriately, where we say God as a profanity or ignore the multitude meaningless references to 'our' religion, perhaps Muslim states hold these up as examples of our Christian-based irrationality?
That of course suggests that they see this as a weakness (as secularists generally think of them) which in turn contradicts their own belief-based - rather 'irrationality-based' dictates.

But certainly under the "Infidels!" banner of the competition, I know of several Turks who would not thank you for being banded together with more obvious examples of Islamic states (which Turkey is emphatically not) since they, like us ignore their cultural religious undertones at the political level (state secularism).
The difference being of course that Islam-dominated secularism tends toward Islamic fundamentalism (which mainstream Turkey continually fights) while Christian-dominated secularism tends toward secularism (or perhaps, eventually, Islamism).
(Ged, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 13:05, archived)

I don't disagree
And I think you get my point.

In my research to do my image (yes, I did some!) I'm sad to say that although there are plenty of liberal Muslims, I couldn't recognise any of them and nor would anybody here! I chose Ataturk primarily because he is recognisable in most of Europe. I also found some of the US websites I came across to be distinctly worrying. There's an awful lot of Islamophobia being peddled over there. I had a lot of trouble finding similar UK sites, which I found gently reassuring.

I also find many Europeans' fear of Turkey and its potential membership of the EU to be... interesting.
(clopinettes, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 13:37, archived)

Anything written by Nick Cohen...
in the last 6 years is a good start...
(snooo, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 22:25, archived)

This is a bit profound for b3ta
but rather woo all the same

</relurks>
(DrNibdy, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 13:24, archived)

Just...
...brilliant.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Sun 21 Oct 2007, 15:46, archived)

Quite simply


Excellent!
Click.
( Hummel Who died and made you....oh wait...., Sun 21 Oct 2007, 16:44, archived)

yes

( oCo, Mon 22 Oct 2007, 7:48, archived)

but let's not mention Kofi Annan's moral lapses
Posted via the evil infidel internet.
(clut, Tue 23 Oct 2007, 8:37, archived)

Bert has grown more cynical

Maybe he's been reading Nevil Shute
( PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:29, archived)

but it's quite safe!
the man 5 miles underground in switzerland tells me so!
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:31, archived)

i'd
like to go in the first flash - i dont really fancy having my body parts fall off :)
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:32, archived)

i don't know
it's a pretty effective way to lose weight!
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:35, archived)

or an arm!

(Don Logan you really think I'm gonna have that?, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:35, archived)

hahahaha
true! :)
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:36, archived)

The maggots growing fat on your own meat
As it rots from the inside out may add a little though.
( PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:36, archived)

*puts sandwich back on plate*
(Don Logan you really think I'm gonna have that?, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:39, archived)

trust me,
there aren't enough maggots to finish me off!



/member of the Hutt family
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:41, archived)

Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho Ho
Mo Wanchi Gogh Pa, no Jabba Wanka.
( PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:42, archived)

what did you say about my mother?
*summons bounty hunters*
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:44, archived)

When the missiles get launched
I intend to climb the nearby hill. sit on the bench and have a picnic and watch the fireworks.

Or more likely, I'll just sit in front of the computer and have some chocolate.
(Tribs 's ego was writing cheques his body can't cash on, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:36, archived)

i like
both of these ideas :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:38, archived)

I'll suddenly, mysteriously find religion
just to be on the safe side.
( Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:38, archived)

actually sod that
I want to ride a bomb in, Strangelove style.
( Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:39, archived)

i'll be fine
as i shall be the one launching the missiles, from my secret private island...
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:40, archived)

Remember - don't drink water
you'll puke your guts out.

Happened to many of the initial survivors of Hiroshima.
( Peregr1n @peregr1n, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:38, archived)

instead!
drink gin!

gin! tasty! nutritious! Removes anything!
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:43, archived)

I hear radiation sickness stings.
Niiicely!
( Ttssattsr Hurry, potato delicious., Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:34, archived)

afternoon :)

( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:27, archived)

Oooooooh!
Nice!
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:28, archived)

cheers
sir! :)
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:29, archived)

Just looked at your profile
Wow!
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:32, archived)

woo
thank ya :D i've added a few more pics recently :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:33, archived)

would

(Don Logan you really think I'm gonna have that?, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:29, archived)

have
with a spoon :)
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:29, archived)

Have.

(atomkinder is deeply unfashionable, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:59, archived)

nice!
there's much joy to be found with mid-afternoon zombies.
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:29, archived)

hehehee
i like the idea of that :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:30, archived)

too much vodka
and no sleep has left me in a cynical mood. this suits my tastes for the day :)
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:33, archived)

ahh vodka
great stuff :D i miss drinking :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:35, archived)

i don't
as i have a kitchen full of leftover booze, a very sticky floor, a snoring b3tan on my couch and sicks around my toilet...:(
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:48, archived)

You
are the zombie master.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:29, archived)

why
thank you :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:30, archived)

Plus
it was the darkness of your work that inspired
my recent shadow pictures.
I hope you're proud.
(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:31, archived)

cool stuff
got any links to them?? :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:33, archived)

They're all in my profile

(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:34, archived)

ahh yes i saw these on the board
they are ace :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:37, archived)

Why thank you!

(THIRTY-TWO - Sputnik -, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:38, archived)

oh my
Macabre and woo, the Rev's staple
( PopePollo defloculating the soup of the surreal, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:31, archived)

you cant beat
a bit of dark :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:32, archived)

Blimey
That made me jump. Great stuff.
( Mod Edit, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:34, archived)

hehehee
:D ta!
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:36, archived)

Blimey!
s'good, that!
( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:42, archived)

cheers!
:D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:43, archived)

I've had a bash at this sort of thing
what say you, oh great one?

( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:49, archived)

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck
oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck....

The nose needs something in the white part, it seems kinda triangley... Amazing picture though, I dunno what my suggestion would do to it o_O
(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:07, archived)

heh

( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:23, archived)

Can you get my mammy now? o_o
Scariest zombie person in a while I think..
(Feawen, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:59, archived)

thats fucking great!!
woo :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:10, archived)

=D

( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:23, archived)

That's woo.
Also, thanks for the tutorial it came in handy on my advert project (Apparently zombies aren't fantasy).
( CandleJakk Formerly Che_Guevaras_Sponge, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:19, archived)

cheers
glad it helpped :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:15, archived)

wow - nice return to form Sir!
loving the black eyes - i tried to buy contacts like that but they were a couple of hundred quid.
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:02, archived)

thank you miss!
:) glad you liked it!
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:15, archived)

Wonderful as always, Padre
I'd say there's about five or so B3tards whose stuff I recognise immediately as theirs when they post. You're certainly one of them.

Most woosome!
(Fuiru Sting, where is thy death?, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:15, archived)

woo
now thats a complement :D :D
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:16, archived)

RPS - My son is Mr Egghead
( Mod Edit, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:26, archived)

pffft
great user name too :)
( Rev. Jesse. broke his ankle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:31, archived)

I was a fan of Alan Coren
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:11, archived)

AAAAAARRRRGHHHHHH!
remove the Toksvig! ban this filth!


she ruined no. 73, you know.
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:13, archived)

Sod that!
I remember when she biul;t a hovercraft on there!
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:48, archived)

one hovercraft
doesn't make up for that wedding/tennis skirt fiasco!!

*applies mindbleach*

ahh, that's better...
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:54, archived)

Me no comprende.
*checks the Beeb*

Me still no comprende
( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:13, archived)

Alan Coren
died on thursday. I was suggesting Sandi had sent him a letter from the BBC telling him he was to be sacked...and that did him in.
Doesn't work if you knew he died of lung cancer.

the rest of the letter which you can't see



Dear Mr Coren,


First let me thank you for your years of dedication to the institution that
is the BBC. You will no doubt be aware of the need for the BBC to reduce costs
and it is with regret that we will no longer be requiring your sevices.

The current 'belt tightening' will see the more mature staff giving way to up
and coming talent, and your position on the News Quiz will be filled by Justin
Lee-Collins.

Due to a computing error your pension has been paid in full to Comic Releif.
I'm sure you will be pleased to know that this money has gone to a worthy cause.

Yours,
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:17, archived)

Ah.

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:20, archived)

"..and coming talent"
"...Lee-Colins"

:)

Nice shop on the letter too, and was that a pic of a gangsters funeral you used?!
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:23, archived)

possibly
it was a last minute alteration from a hearse.

edit:I worried I'd chopped off too much of the letter.
( Holly Would long wheel based tranny, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:24, archived)

That's what the Ghostbusters said.

( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:27, archived)

Da und Da.
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7052510.stm

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Call_My_Bluff
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:19, archived)

It's
quite straight forward: psycho lezzie kills old journo with wicked practical joke...duh!
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:20, archived)

I heard about this
it's a sad loss

'edit' how very rude, woo piccie!
( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:13, archived)

Hahaha,
very good.
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:14, archived)

Hehehe
nicely done

*logs out*
Bye!
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:14, archived)

How
did he manage to say "bye" after he logged out?

*perplexed*
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:17, archived)

He's a Timelord.
_{But I didn't tell you that.}
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:20, archived)

Coooooooooool.
tell me what
( wibblywobbly - helping ugly people get laid since 1982, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:23, archived)

Hahahaha!
Brilliant :D

For the FP!
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:17, archived)

alan coren went to the beach once...
he came back with a sandy toksvig
( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:31, archived)

pfff!
this is silly
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:38, archived)

it took him ages to get it all off

( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:45, archived)

i'll bet it did!
even after vigorous scrubbing with coarse-grained sandipaper...
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:53, archived)

hehe!
'tis sad news though.
( god save the queen http://www.hatfield-anti-incineration.co.uk/, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:34, archived)

Yes.

( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:37, archived)

me too
:(
( gfreeman http://twiglet.myminicity.com/, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:44, archived)

Arf!
I love the made up address.

* Hollywood Mews is in London
* OX8 is Witney Oxfordshire

Considering I live about 8 miles from Oxford, I was seriously sad enough to go looking for that address on google maps!
(Spluff McDuff You Love It. You Slag!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:20, archived)

( Microwave, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:09, archived)

no surprise horse?
Was expecting it to be animated for some reason
( Doomladen ms paint lover, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:10, archived)

Surprise horse!

(Grandpa Flump Wee wee wee all the way home, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:29, archived)

Techno Horse was a founding member of 2 Unlimited
But he was thrown out after Ray and Anita tired of the dung. True story. He got a writing credit on 'Workaholic' and sued for some of the royalties from 'No Limits' but the judge threw the case out on the grounds that he was a horse.
(Fuiru Sting, where is thy death?, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 16:19, archived)

THAT'S NOT SWIRLY.


ONLY SWIRLY THINGS ALLOWED.
(__, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:10, archived)

hahahaha!
Fucking yes!
( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:11, archived)

( WiL Pantheist Bi Polar Polyamoric Pansexual, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:13, archived)

YAY FOR SWIRLS
AREN'T THEY FUCKING HILARIOUS
(__, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:16, archived)

no
they are not
( Doomladen ms paint lover, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:27, archived)

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:17, archived)

( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:24, archived)

Hee hee!

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:26, archived)

See
You should always take a camera into the toilet with you.
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:28, archived)

walnut whip!
*wants*
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:28, archived)

pfft!

( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:14, archived)

Am it broken?

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:11, archived)

play that funky music
white...ermm.....kinda pinkish-beige boy...
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:11, archived)

haha
look at his happy smiling face

this image needs a slutty vampire lying on the piano singing a song about sucking :D
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:20, archived)

sucking
makes everything better.
except suction wounds.
( Smash Monkey will soon be making blankets to order, gaz me, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:24, archived)

unless you are the one doing the sucking
:D
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:29, archived)

that it does

( Cockweasle, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:30, archived)

Small version!
Made it specialy for the frontpage

(tiberiusgracchus saving the world since;, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:03, archived)

No, changed my mind.
Goodbye.

edit - you are tonyphilmore2, right?
( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:03, archived)

Hahaha
At your edit
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:08, archived)

Ta!

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:08, archived)

Goodbye?
Are you leaving? Stay for a while;maybe it's getting better...
(tiberiusgracchus saving the world since;, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:08, archived)

No.
It's only better when you're six feet under.
( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:09, archived)

I love that song
: )
( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:10, archived)

Six feet?
No,i wanna get burried by the metric system
(tiberiusgracchus saving the world since;, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:15, archived)

but six feet is a metric system
in that it is metrology innit
( discomeats lives like a windrammer!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:19, archived)

Oh noes!
*Digs out crash helmet*
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:04, archived)

*hides in bomb shelter*

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:05, archived)

*Bombs in hide shelter*

( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:07, archived)

shelters in bomb hide

( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:10, archived)

Hides in bomb. But no shelter is allowed.
Thems the rules.
( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:12, archived)

In shelter bombs hide
:)
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:13, archived)

HI
cockalourum
(war3n3xt 's lay line arse miners, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:05, archived)

Clowns?!

(tiberiusgracchus saving the world since;, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:05, archived)

These have to be the simplest photoshopping styles ever.
People are only doing them because they think they can get a cheap laugh out of them, but now they've been done so many times, it's just plain shit.

Oh, and you've screwed the whole meaning of the FAQ.
( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:08, archived)

I agree
Werthers was funny yesterday but that's where it should have ended.

That's all
( XLVII can't see any images hosted on b3ta server :(, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:10, archived)

Pfffff
It doesn't matter...Tomorrow it's over...
(tiberiusgracchus saving the world since;, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:14, archived)

Yesterday it was meant to be over.

( head-doctor ololololo, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:20, archived)

meh

( Doomladen ms paint lover, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:07, archived)

haha
Win!
( [DTMX] Fishing hook, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 17:42, archived)

oh dear

( McBadger JESUS RAVES!, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:10, archived)

Pssst
_{You can resize and edit pics in the original thread.}
( Monty Propps, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 14:31, archived)

.
Idiot.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Sat 20 Oct 2007, 15:55, archived)