London Summer Pub Crawl

A day of getting totally cunted in any of Borough & London Bridge's great pubs. Probably starting at The Royal Oak and moving on to The Lord Clyde, The Miller, The Market Porter and whatnot. There's a strong likelihood that we'll find a late club for continued shenanigans. Whether or not they'll let us in is another thing.

EDIT: Fuck's sake. The time set-up on this is bollocksed. At first I meant to say this was an all-dayer (turn up whenever for as little or as much as you like), but now I'm thinking 4pm onwards would do the trick. When I put 4pm in the box though, it says 3pm after i save it. Cocking hell. Just join us and get drunk out your faces.

EDIT 2: Regarding the pubs that we'll be crawling, I've put together this little map in case people are joining us later in the evening. goo.gl/maps/MkAJh

EDIT 3: This BASH will also feature the OFFICIAL (!!"11!!) "2048" World Cup. Download the game onto your phones and may the most annoying cunt win. Prize will probably be nothing more than 'bragging rights'.

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 12:35, Reply)

I'll only go if I can treat it like a rugby tour.

I'll shit in a pint of ale and get someone else to drink it. That sort of thing.

(BumCoffee Portrait videographer, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 12:51, Reply)

Sounds a bit tame

but it's a start.

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 13:09, Reply)

Do I need my mum to sign a permission slip before I'm allowed to go?

(BumCoffee Portrait videographer, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 16:41, Reply)

She said it was fine...

[puts shades one]
... this morning.

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 17:23, Reply)

Emmm

I've been booze free for six months so I the odds are I would get utterly, utterly fucking wasted and accidentally get a taxi home to St Ives or something

( Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 13:04, Reply)

Well, that's your stupid fault.

What's wrong with what you've suggested? (taxi to St Ives etc?)

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 13:09, Reply)

I live in

London

( Jahled Three shades of black, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 13:18, Reply)

Oh.

I am confuse.
Come along anyway. :-S

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 13:34, Reply)

I'll keep an eye on you if you want

nothing wrong with an evening of chatting over a shandy and a fruit juice

( HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 21:39, Reply)

11am!

It takes me till at least 2 to iron out me wrinkles..

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 13:18, Reply)

^what Dame Evadne Hinge said!

I'm RUBBISH at daytime drinking.
Even if I was allowed to attend.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 13:29, Reply)

Which you're not.

No gays.
No out-of-towners.
Especially no gay out-of-towners.

( spesh., Tue 8 Apr 2014, 17:18, Reply)

And yet *you've* signed up.

If ugly, ginger, beardie retards from Narnia are allowed to go, then *I* certainly shall be attending.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 11 Apr 2014, 13:16, Reply)

That was meant to say 0:00 in order to denote "all day"

A bit like Brizzle last year.

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Tue 8 Apr 2014, 13:36, Reply)

Sounds rubbish, no thanks.

( spesh., Tue 8 Apr 2014, 17:17, Reply)

Excellent idea, count me in!

( spesh., Tue 8 Apr 2014, 17:17, Reply)

I clicked..

I'm gonna bring a kerplunk - what other games are on offer ?

( zacherynuk @echo off, Wed 9 Apr 2014, 20:49, Reply)

Naked twister

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 8:56, Reply)

*cancels bash*

I'll bring Downfall (the Nazi fillum)

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 11 Apr 2014, 0:35, Reply)

draw me like your french girls

I mean pencil me in

( HappyToast Groat froth, Thu 10 Apr 2014, 21:38, Reply)

Hurrah!

And huzzah

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 11 Apr 2014, 0:34, Reply)

YAY!

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)

I would like to attend, but can't.

I shall be there in spirit, though.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 17 Apr 2014, 12:09, Reply)

BOO

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 10:54, Reply)

I KNOW.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 29 Apr 2014, 21:25, Reply)

Cor, streetmap.co.uk still exists

( broadsword w⚓, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 21:13, Reply)

It seemed more 'b3ta' than Googlemaps.

Or something.

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Tue 22 Apr 2014, 22:42, Reply)

Fair do's

I might pop down for a pint or 7 if my crippling autism allows it

( broadsword w⚓, Wed 23 Apr 2014, 18:40, Reply)

Yes.

Can anyone recommend a near(ish) hotel?

( Pig Bodine., Sun 27 Apr 2014, 23:46, Reply)

.

For you.
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 13:49, Reply)

:(

I don't understand London and fear being knife crimed.

( Pig Bodine., Mon 28 Apr 2014, 13:55, Reply)

Well, at least with your face

you don't need to worry about rape :)))

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 15:02, Reply)

This place is nice, next to London Bridge Station, the Shard and not far from meeting Pub

Saturday in June is not a good time price wise. This place is asking about the same amount as other 'budget' hotels in the same area. Get a room with two singles and perhaps someone else who is coming might want to share?

www.londonbridgehotel.com/index.html


www.tripadvisor.co.uk/Hotel_Review-g186338-d192044-Reviews-London_Bridge_Hotel-London_England.html

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Mon 28 Apr 2014, 15:58, Reply)

Cheers for this spazz - looks like that's going to be the winner.

( Pig Bodine., Fri 2 May 2014, 10:20, Reply)

I usually use the Paddington Hilton when I go to That London for gigs and that.

Not had cause for complaint yet.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 20 May 2014, 22:37, Reply)

Oh bloody fucking shit, I'm on a fucking trip that day & I can't skive off :-(

I hope everyone has a ace time though.

(pissflaps. FSPW, Sat 3 May 2014, 5:25, Reply)

Is this some sort of trick?

diverting attention so it comes as a complete surprise when you turn up at the end wearing the skin of DVDFever?

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 21:40, Reply)

I fear this will be the wake of B3ta

So please muppets and lurkers alike turn out to drink and toast what a wonderful place this has been over the years.

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Wed 7 May 2014, 23:03, Reply)

Bring that positive attitude with you yeah

we will all need a cheer up :D

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 8 May 2014, 20:32, Reply)

I'll cheer up if you are buying ;)

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 8 May 2014, 21:38, Reply)

Nah! It's just a temporary lull.

I hope
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 9 May 2014, 10:34, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/links/1175296

Fuck it (or not), I'm coming to this. I need to come to at least one bash in my life. A member for over 7 years and I've never been to one. It's embarrassing.

Should I wear a name badge or something?
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Fri 9 May 2014, 15:34, Reply)

We should be able to recognise you by your prongs.

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 9 May 2014, 17:34, Reply)

Yes.

Yes, you should.
( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 9 May 2014, 20:17, Reply)

Right you are, brother.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Sat 10 May 2014, 16:44, Reply)

Oh, fucking hell.

Not again.

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Mon 12 May 2014, 22:50, Reply)

YAY!

( Pig Bodine., Tue 13 May 2014, 15:43, Reply)

Indeed.

*starts plotting bullying*

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Tue 13 May 2014, 18:40, Reply)

Oh fuck, you're going. Sure fire way to ruin a good night.

I still have the clap from last time I saw you.

( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Wed 14 May 2014, 20:49, Reply)

As IF.

I have standards, wee jimmy krankie.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Sun 18 May 2014, 12:45, Reply)

andar
( skeltonator Needs some new daps., Sun 1 Jun 2014, 21:32, Reply)

Some quality strikethroughing right there.

-

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 13:58, Reply)

I'll only be able to pop in for a couple on the way home....

Could you rig up a system of flags to let me know which pub you are in when I get there?

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Mon 19 May 2014, 17:27, Reply)

You can have my number

as long as you promise filthy texts in the middle of the night
EDIT: I mean NO filthy texts NO NO NO

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 20 May 2014, 22:53, Reply)

As it's a crawl and some peeps will be joining in later .......

I suggest who is still capable update this thread as to where we are and moving to next or there must be some bollox Google B3ta GPS mapping App as to where everyone has fallen down en-route.

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 23 May 2014, 20:44, Reply)

Looks like I've got to wear a suit on the day.

Can any of you hazard a guess at the effect this will have on my chances of being raped, stabbed or rape-stabbed on the bash?

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 29 May 2014, 13:20, Reply)

One in three chance of each.

Are you in the dock?

( Pig Bodine., Thu 29 May 2014, 14:41, Reply)

If the LOVELY HATD and Tabby and Skelly are going, how can I say no?

*signs up*

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Tue 20 May 2014, 22:39, Reply)

YES!

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Tue 20 May 2014, 22:54, Reply)

Welcome aboard, Stuj!

Is it common parlance to prefix your name with "the lovely", by the way?

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Tue 20 May 2014, 22:54, Reply)

Shhhh.

You're not in the LOVELY gang. Sozzers.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Wed 21 May 2014, 16:12, Reply)

first one

scares the shit out of me
massively skint
i live in selsey now
on a diet
count me in


MASSIVE EDIT: I'm going to be there at the very beginning for an hour and then have to bugger off. So arrive late and save yourselves the disappointment.

( unclepills, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 13:12, Reply)

Don't be scared

DONT BE SCARED

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 23:17, Reply)

.

*airs off rape cape*

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:16, Reply)

Don't forget the Brian Blessed mask

www.funkybunky.co.uk/Item/Brian-Blessed-Mask
( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Tue 3 Jun 2014, 15:44, Reply)

4564646d sounds like a barrel of laughs.

( Pig Bodine., Tue 3 Jun 2014, 22:00, Reply)

I would like to apologise in advance for my language.

It's not quite Tourettes level, but I do say 'Cunt' and 'Fuck' a lot.

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 21:36, Reply)

I've already got a fucking swear off planned with some cunting knob

who thinks they fucking shitting bastard swear more than fucking me so bring it fucking on bollock cock face

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Sun 1 Jun 2014, 23:19, Reply)

I'm at a garden party at Buckingham Palace hosted by Prince Charles next week.

Upon being informed of this, the wife's first words were 'please don't swear at Prince Charles, you know what you're like.'
As if a) I'd get within earshot of him, and b) if I did, I'd open the conversation with 'That DVDFever, he's a narcissistic cunt, isn't he?'

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 8:19, Reply)

Christ I hate that fucking cunt SO much.

I've a shiny 50p that's yours if you drown the saggy-eared fucker in the fruit punch.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 12:50, Reply)

Please do b, please do b please do b

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Mon 2 Jun 2014, 14:36, Reply)

Sozzers, just found out that Vengaboys are playing Sink the Pink

in that there London the same night :/

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 13:48, Reply)

BOO!

( Pig Bodine., Thu 5 Jun 2014, 15:02, Reply)

This has to be the worst excuse ever!

or possibly the best

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 16:35, Reply)

Perfect after party!!!

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 18:05, Reply)

Is this an excuse?

or a suggestion?

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 5 Jun 2014, 19:00, Reply)

Actually. I'm not sure I want to see The Vengaboys enough to pay £20

and suffer the ballache of getting to somewhere in East London nowhere near Tube or DLR.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 6 Jun 2014, 10:25, Reply)

Currently in camberwell:

Have been recommended The Boot and Flogger & (moreso) The Rake, by someone here who used to work by Borough station.
Jus' Sayin'.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 17:05, Reply)

The Rake is supposedly a good bar, especially if jenever is your thing.

Never been in it but we can certainly take a look.

( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 0:46, Reply)

Are you just talking to yourself here, Tabs?

Or are seriously considering exchanging money to watch the Vengaboys?

I am confuse.

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 17:04, Reply)

The Vengaboys are SO AMAZE RITE

The above was more an aide-memoire for potential pub stops.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Thu 19 Jun 2014, 11:15, Reply)

I have to drop out I'm afraid, have to look after my folks, who, being in their 90s, make as much sense a bunch of all-day drinkers.

Have fun, and don't get too hopped up on goof-balls, you crazy kids.

( fred zeppelin II: Electric Boogaloo, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 18:57, Reply)

Sad loss.

Probably just saw your Dad trying to reverse into a car park space at the Station. Just kept going backwards and forwards. I checked 10 minutes later and he was doing the same. The old are too old and that will include me soon.

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Wed 18 Jun 2014, 22:47, Reply)

WHAT????

NOOOOO

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:17, Reply)

Sorry, I can't make it

big animation job that was meant to finish on the 16th is dragging on and I've got to work all weekend. :(

( HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 9:30, Reply)

OH BUM

Come for a quickie....
GO OOOOOOONNNN

( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 11:17, Reply)

I live 75 miles away, a quickie would take hours

( HappyToast Groat froth, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 14:34, Reply)

I'm just going to walk around riverside Southwark..

until I encounter something like this...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=9C4uTEEOJlM
Then I'll assume I've found the bash.

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 12:46, Reply)

Stealing this.

( Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 14:28, Reply)

I am disappoint

very disappoint

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 22:32, Reply)

love to, but can't.

combination of skintness and doctor's orders :(

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 14:39, Reply)

BAH!

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Fri 20 Jun 2014, 22:27, Reply)

no no no

this does not even put you in a minority.

coooooooooooooooooooooooooooommmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeee

( unclepills, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 8:40, Reply)

:( Can't come out and play now.

Relatives.
:(

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 20 Jun 2014, 16:42, Reply)

Oh stuj, but who will be LOVELY?

( Pig Bodine., Fri 20 Jun 2014, 23:30, Reply)

YOU will be, The LOVELY Pee Bee.

:D
It's nearly 6 in the morning. I'm STILL drinking, and I'm supposed to be meeting my parents for lunch in 5 hours time. This is going to go well...
Mind, I HATE going out ANYWHERE with my parents, so it won't be the first time I've suddenly "come down with flu".
:D

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 21 Jun 2014, 5:55, Reply)

come on stuj,

push on through

( unclepills, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 8:41, Reply)

I'm out as well i'm afraid

Bit of a work overspill from yesterday and Sunday will be the same.

Have fun though

( Jahled Three shades of black, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 12:13, Reply)

Boooo

Go on go on go on go on etc .

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 15:21, Reply)

No little toasty for you

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sun 22 Jun 2014, 0:57, Reply)

En route.

If you move from the Royal Oak, put it on here!

( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 15:16, Reply)

Spazz is also en-route and expecting to get lost

Place pants and head and wave arms in the air like you just don't care so I can recognise who you are

( spazzcaptain Misses Valin @, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 15:20, Reply)

Fray Brentos is A six foot tall Nigerian woman with one leg in plaster if her Facebook profile is anything to go by.

Hope that helps.

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Sat 21 Jun 2014, 15:31, Reply)

I can now vouch for this.

(Pie of Meat ___°¬¯O¯____\o/_____/\_,____Y¯¯Y, Sun 22 Jun 2014, 1:07, Reply)