48K CELEBRITY AWARDS
The crass celebrity cash-in computer game isn't a modern invention. Here's 10 Spectrum titles from the 1980s that are just as crap as say
Mary-Kate & Ashley Sweet 16 Licensed To Drive.
But we're not giving points for the crapness of the games, but on how much amusement we've gained from looking at poor attempts to draw famous people using the limited graphics abilities of a 25 year old home computer.
#1 Shakin' Stevens
The Shaky Game' apparently included as the B-side of the 'This Ole House' single
Blocky graphics, even for a spectrum
BTW: Did you know, but Shaky invented punk rock?
#2 Jimmy Nail
Winning an award for the most unlikely computer game hero
And he's not looking at the camera, breaking an unwritten rule of celeb characters on spectrum loading screens
High hair line = lobotomised mental patient
#3 Bob Monkhouse
Nice attempt at the raised eyebrow visual trademark
Although maybe poor old Bob is having a stroke
There's something in his face that reminds us of the almost forgotten geek cult, Church of the SubGenius
Yes, it's THAT Sabrina
Only in Spain could they turn this into a platform game
#5 Roger Moore
The girl is having to prop old Roger up, his clockwork has run out
Sadly there was no bleepy version of Duran Durans's theme tune to back the game
#6 Bruce Forsyth
Why is Bruce spanking his arse in a ride-me-cowboy motion?
Well, if you "play your cards right", then he's yours tonight.
#7 Gary Lineker
Sinister hooded eyebrows, like a rapist
#8 Indiana Jones
Slightly hamsterish expression maybe?
Not much detail on Indiana's face - his flattened face reminds us of Billy Bear Sausage
#9 Magic Johnson
Not bad attempt on the left but..
What's with the lips on the close-up?
#10 Stuart Henry
A celeb so obscure we had to use wikipedia
And he'd been off mainstream radio for about 10 years before this game came out
Still, great tache Runners up!