David is a 27-year-old artist who works a night shift in a press clippings agency in London. He made Jada featuring a large rabbit, which was emailed all over the world. |
"60,000 people had seen it when I last checked", he said, "but I had to stop counting as I couldn't afford the tracking software."
We caught up with him and asked about his favourite things.
Who Invented the Tin Opener?
|Invention: The tin opener.|
"Otherwise we'd just be stuck looking at all those tins and wondering why we bought them."
Emperor Norton Timeline
|Person: Emperor Norton I of the US|
"He was a homeless guy who declared himself the emperor of America. Local people in San Francisco accepted it and he got to stay in the best hotels for free and his fake money was accepted as legal. Apparently it's worth quite a lot now. You have to admire his staggering powers of denial."
Save the Manatee Club
|Animal: The Manatee|
"I like that sailors would think that they were beautiful sirens luring them to their deaths. It is also one of the few animals I know how to hunt. Apparently you wait for them to surface and then block their nostrils with clay."
|Food: Chicken and Noodle Soup|
"Full of protein and carbohydrates, replenishes your fluid levels and is anti-inflammatory. Ruthlessly efficient."
Alison Krauss Fan Site
|Music: Alison Krauss - Down to the River to Pray|
"It's sweet and pure and full of the redeeming power of the Lord. And it's quite catchy. Here's the mp3"
Spider Man Fan Site
|Magazine: Spiderman & Zoids|
"Sadly missed. It was cancelled out of the blue, I think because someone had choked to death on one of the toys. Unfortunately, it was just after they'd set up a whole load of new plotlines and so I'm forever haunted by these cliff-hangers involving Zoidzilla and Mammoth the Destroyer."
|Book: American Tabloid by James Ellroy|
"Snappy dialogue, labyrinthine plot, corruption and conspiracy in high places. I very much model myself after Big Pete Bondurant, the rogue cop.
"I was going to say 'At Swim-Two-Birds' by Flann O'Brien but I see that Joel Veitch has already beaten me to the coveted Flann O'Brien appreciator spot."
Lisa Marie Biography
|Celebrity you want to have sex with: All of them|
"Then I could sell my story to the tabloids and retire a rich man. I'd settle for just Lisa Marie, if Tim Burton didn't mind too much.
"Very pretty, lots of unexpected little things to see and do. It has kept me amused for ages, although it isn't updated often enough."
Driving Baby Video
|Thing you've been emailed: Driving baby|
"A couple of friends who were having a baby sent it to me, so when I started watching I thought it was a genuine scan."
Walking with Dinosaur's BBC Site
|TV: Wildlife Programmes|
"I'm quite excited by this new David Attenborough series about wildlife in the depths of the ocean. Also the new series of Walking with Dinosaurs. God, that makes me sound like such a geek."
|Newspaper: The Financial Times|
"Nice, concise articles presenting the facts in as objective a way as possible. It doesn't patronise its readers by presuming to represent their political beliefs. Plus you look dead clever reading it. Of course it does have an oddly skewed perspective on some subjects, 'Last tree on earth dies, timber industry shares fall'."
IMDB on Lost Highway
|Film: David Lynch's 'Lost Highway'|
"I don't really understand it, but I like it. Actually that's why I like it. Cracking soundtrack, too."
Purple Ronnie Offical Site
|Best thing I've done: Helped Blind Girl, Annoyed Purple Ronnie|
"When I was ten there was a blind girl who lived in our road and I used to help her across the road almost every morning on my way to school.
"Apart from that I like my Purple Ronnie stuff on lagrange3. It's a pretty obvious schtick but I have a near-pathological dislike for Purple Ronnie for reasons too lengthy to go into here.
"Also a painting I did of a Spanish galleon, which is quite good, I think."
|David is planning to eat, sleep, possibly gnaw off his own leg to get a night off work.|