Well folks this time tomorrow I should be fast asleep
Either getting my right leglopped off or getting bummed by the only gay consultant in the theater.
So tonight we are getting the family round to take the piss and generally be rude and obnoxious to my manky ankle hence known as we call it the mankle.
My daughter has first dibs on painting my toe nails.
And after that there will be a few choice words write on the bloody useless piece of flesh.
I will update you all over the next few days as and when possible.
So its goodbye corby and hello Northampton hospital for the next week
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:53, Share, Reply)
Either getting my right leglopped off or getting bummed by the only gay consultant in the theater.
So tonight we are getting the family round to take the piss and generally be rude and obnoxious to my manky ankle hence known as we call it the mankle.
My daughter has first dibs on painting my toe nails.
And after that there will be a few choice words write on the bloody useless piece of flesh.
I will update you all over the next few days as and when possible.
So its goodbye corby and hello Northampton hospital for the next week
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:53, Share, Reply)
All the best, Mr Bunnykiller.
And think of the savings on shoe purchases!
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:58, Share, Reply)
And think of the savings on shoe purchases!
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 13:58, Share, Reply)
I was just thinking of kicking the display shoe from out side the shoe shop and then legging it.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:05, Share, Reply)
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:05, Share, Reply)
I wonder if there's a particular side that shoe shops generally favour when putting out single shoes.
Maybe you could undertake a study.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:30, Share, Reply)
Maybe you could undertake a study.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:30, Share, Reply)
All the best!
Remember to write "do not touch" on your gentlemens area.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:05, Share, Reply)
Remember to write "do not touch" on your gentlemens area.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:05, Share, Reply)
Make sure you write on the dodgy foot "THIS ONE!"
or not, for comedy gold.
PS
All the best.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:07, Share, Reply)
or not, for comedy gold.
PS
All the best.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:07, Share, Reply)
Good luck.
Don't forget to insist that your robot foot has a setting for EVIL.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:10, Share, Reply)
Don't forget to insist that your robot foot has a setting for EVIL.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:10, Share, Reply)
and apart fromThe evil setting there should be
Marked live on the other side of the switch and a USB charging port for my phone.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:21, Share, Reply)
Marked live on the other side of the switch and a USB charging port for my phone.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:21, Share, Reply)
yup eacly like that
can you or any one else rcomend what else the NHS should attach to my new Swiss army leg when i get it?
we have already got the easily confussed evil live switch and a charging port but there is space for more items that would be helpfull.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:14, Share, Reply)
can you or any one else rcomend what else the NHS should attach to my new Swiss army leg when i get it?
we have already got the easily confussed evil live switch and a charging port but there is space for more items that would be helpfull.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:14, Share, Reply)
Coffee machine. Oneof them posh ones like george Clooney advertses.
and a 60 inch plasma flatscreen telly so you can watch porn while you're recuperating.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:41, Share, Reply)
and a 60 inch plasma flatscreen telly so you can watch porn while you're recuperating.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:41, Share, Reply)
Pity you're not a Yank...
you've seen Planet Terror, right...?
Maybe one of those 'hoverboards', so you don't have to walk everywhere like us bipedal suckers...
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:45, Share, Reply)
you've seen Planet Terror, right...?
Maybe one of those 'hoverboards', so you don't have to walk everywhere like us bipedal suckers...
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:45, Share, Reply)
hope you've got
the aquarium set up on your mantelpiece and filled with formaldehyde.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:28, Share, Reply)
the aquarium set up on your mantelpiece and filled with formaldehyde.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:28, Share, Reply)
I had that all set up
And then my Russian friend came round last night and drank the lot.
Let's just say that when he left he was totally pickled
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:32, Share, Reply)
And then my Russian friend came round last night and drank the lot.
Let's just say that when he left he was totally pickled
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:32, Share, Reply)
You should pickle it, then stick a broom stick in the end
and make Monty Python intro videos.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:35, Share, Reply)
and make Monty Python intro videos.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 16:35, Share, Reply)
Is this just because your porn career has gone stale and you're hoping a stint in German amputee porn will give you that retirement you've always dreamed of?
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:45, Share, Reply)
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:45, Share, Reply)
I told you before that was OUR dirty little secret
And know the the whole world knows .
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:51, Share, Reply)
And know the the whole world knows .
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 14:51, Share, Reply)
Tomorrow we feast on manflesh!
I call dibs on the big toe!
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:16, Share, Reply)
I call dibs on the big toe!
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:16, Share, Reply)
Best of luck, sir.
Do come along to the London bash so we can all call you names.
xx
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:34, Share, Reply)
Do come along to the London bash so we can all call you names.
xx
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 15:34, Share, Reply)
Keep the bones
and have them cast in a transparent prosthetic limb.
That would look SOO COOL.
All the best!
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:08, Share, Reply)
and have them cast in a transparent prosthetic limb.
That would look SOO COOL.
All the best!
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:08, Share, Reply)
Break a leg.
A smelly, festering leg. You've painted such a vivid, awful picture of the thing in your last few posts, glad you're getting shot of it. All the best.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:51, Share, Reply)
A smelly, festering leg. You've painted such a vivid, awful picture of the thing in your last few posts, glad you're getting shot of it. All the best.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 17:51, Share, Reply)
Good luck
No pun...make sure the good one is well marked though.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 18:04, Share, Reply)
No pun...make sure the good one is well marked though.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 18:04, Share, Reply)
Can you keep the bits they cut off? Asking for a friend.
So farewell then foot
You weren't the right one
More an Achilles heel
Now all the piggies have ran home
E.J. Thribb (17 1/2 feet)
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 18:30, Share, Reply)
So farewell then foot
You weren't the right one
More an Achilles heel
Now all the piggies have ran home
E.J. Thribb (17 1/2 feet)
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 18:30, Share, Reply)
I hop it all goes well for you
And wish you a speedy recovery :)
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:08, Share, Reply)
And wish you a speedy recovery :)
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:08, Share, Reply)
Best of luck
I think Rolf Harris has a spare one that he doesn't use much anymore.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:37, Share, Reply)
I think Rolf Harris has a spare one that he doesn't use much anymore.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 20:37, Share, Reply)
From what I understand,
It was his "extra leg" that got him in trouble in the first place...
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 21:41, Share, Reply)
It was his "extra leg" that got him in trouble in the first place...
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 21:41, Share, Reply)
Best foot forward and all that
Take care and you are lucky to be out of Corby.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:30, Share, Reply)
Take care and you are lucky to be out of Corby.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:30, Share, Reply)
I don't really know you, but I wish you well anyway.
Hope your surgery goes a bit better than mine did last year; three months stuck in Freeman's in Newcastle with a handful of sportsgits led me to think that expiring was the easy way out.
Keep your chin up, and just look on the bright side - you should be able to shoplift shoes from about 50% of shoe stores, on average.
Best of British to you.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:53, Share, Reply)
Hope your surgery goes a bit better than mine did last year; three months stuck in Freeman's in Newcastle with a handful of sportsgits led me to think that expiring was the easy way out.
Keep your chin up, and just look on the bright side - you should be able to shoplift shoes from about 50% of shoe stores, on average.
Best of British to you.
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 22:53, Share, Reply)
All the best
And make a speedy recovery.. make sure they don't turn u into a mermaid
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 23:04, Share, Reply)
And make a speedy recovery.. make sure they don't turn u into a mermaid
( , Mon 24 Apr 2017, 23:04, Share, Reply)
I missed all the well wishing...
I hope everything is/has gone ok and speedy recovery. #Legxit
( , Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:37, Share, Reply)
I hope everything is/has gone ok and speedy recovery. #Legxit
( , Tue 25 Apr 2017, 8:37, Share, Reply)