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This is a link post The sort of headline you think is from a website taking the piss, but nooooo.
Wont spoil the surprise, you'll just have to look yersen.
 (UltimateMonkey Ban this sick filth!, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:20, , Reply)
This is a normal post stupid cunts lol

(I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:27, , Reply)
This is a normal post nice pr drop for Peninsula

(It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday!It's my b3taday! $$ ✅, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:36, , Reply)
This is a normal post ^this
That's all it is. The Independent desperately bandwagoning a shit story with a load of Newswire/AP/Press Release crap masquerading as a true story.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:55, , Reply)
This is a normal post So the story isn't real then?
Otherwise it's news
 (I helped save b3ta! Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:00, , Reply)
This is a normal post Best take note, Fray.
^this is the chap who boasted about passing his 12+.
 (I helped save b3ta! Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:02, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ooooh
Someone trying to shit stir.

If I was an editor, I would report that, because it's so fucking mental anybody could use that as an excuse to take time off work.
 (I helped save b3ta! Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post If you were an editor of 12+ magazine (the nonce's choice)...
...you'd be all over this like flies on shit because it's the sort of clickbait that this retarded country can't get enough of. Editors couldn't give a fuck about their paper's accuracy, as long as the advertisers are happy and their website is getting mega hits.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:12, , Reply)
This is a normal post So the story is inaccurate then?
I'm getting a bit lost is the fury of what you're typing.
 (I helped save b3ta! Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:25, , Reply)
This is a normal post Yes, the story is bullshit.
I should take writing lessons from you, probably.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:33, , Reply)
This is a normal post I see.
"Since Wednesday, Peninsula has received 480 calls to its helpline from employers seeking advice on their staff requesting compassionate leave because of the Zayn Malik furore."

So this isn't factual information? I suspect it is real and once news slipped out, some bored cunt of an editor spotted an easy webpage or newspaper column and made it so. That is how media works. Which seems a bit lost on you.
 (I helped save b3ta! Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 13:05, , Reply)
This is a normal post Not lost of me at all, Harpy, old stick. I'll let you guess which industry I'm in.
I fear that it might be you who doesn't know how press-releases work in this country. Perhaps have a read of Nick Davies' excellent Flat Earth News. I think you might learn something.

I'm saying it's a bullshit-but-unprovable statistic/story. They probably received 4 calls, if any. All of which came from the same 'pranker' in their office.
 (I helped save b3ta! Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 14:08, , Reply)
This is a normal post "I'll let you guess which industry I'm in."
Experimental bovine gynecologist
AICMFP
 (I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 15:09, , Reply)
This is a normal post I know, I *am* a wee tinker.
Tbf, it's no more crazy than some of the reasons for compassionate leave I've heard here (at a university). A colleague (who is lovely) got a week for her dog dying last year.
 (I helped save b3ta! Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:24, , Reply)
This is a normal post My cat is 15
going on 16 : (
when he's gone dead I will be gutted and want to take a year off.
 (I helped save b3ta! --- ---, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post Our cats died at 18, and there was great rejoicing.

(I helped save b3ta! Varmint, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 18:48, , Reply)
This is a normal post Aww, to be honest that sounds borderline.
Some people develop pretty strong bonds with their dogs, especially if that's their only real companion in life.

An entire week sounds a bit mental though.
 (I helped save b3ta! Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:30, , Reply)
This is a normal post Fucking hell
What a bunch of twats
 (I helped save b3ta! Jahled Three shades of black, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:50, , Reply)
This is a normal post someone on twitter moaning that a woman at his work had had the day off because she was upset about Richard III

(benito vaselini no not that one, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 11:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post Hahahaha
I'm not sure which is worse.
 (I helped save b3ta! Harpago ¯\(°_o)/¯, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:01, , Reply)
This is a normal post You sure it wasn't A Richard the Third
Some of mine have been quite upsetting...
 (I helped save b3ta! smaggers Like a gibbon on helium, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:22, , Reply)
This is a normal post THIS was in the paper, its a shit picture so I'll write it here:


'It's a bit gutting because he is the hottest one, after that it's Harry, so I guess I'll have to start liking him now'

This is from a 23 year old woman.

Who now cant find someone attractive as they are not in a band anymore. So has to settle for 'second place' as if she had a chance.

Women are fucking mental.
 (robneymcplum spiced up his life on, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:39, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ghostery went mental trying to load that site

(I helped save b3ta! h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 27 Mar 2015, 12:59, , Reply)
This is a normal post Gutted :-(
He was always my favourite.
 (I helped save b3ta! Dawn Of The Bread $$$$ E-THUG 4 LIFE - THAT'S HOW I SCROLL $$$$, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 13:26, , Reply)
This is a normal post ^^^He has thick, lustrous hair one dreams of running barefoot through.

(I helped save b3ta! Tab Hunter Make this useless process end and so, begin again, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 13:54, , Reply)
This is a normal post
running barefoot throughusing in place of a curtain, whilst performing a zoffle
 (I helped save b3ta! MyFrontFellOff ; his mouth full of teddies, urinating defiantly, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 15:35, , Reply)
This is a normal post Ghostery found 16 trackers and Ad Block blocked 8 ads.
Gee thanks Indie.
 (I helped save b3ta! Cerebus Sticky! Sticky! Stick! Stick!, Fri 27 Mar 2015, 15:45, , Reply)