Guy calls drugs hotline

( planearm, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:55, Reply)

whit an idiot

(iainhasaface, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:05, Reply)

I'm not sure why that was funny.
but it was. In a beavis and butthead kind of way.
(Kung_Fu_Russ Formerly RussInLondon, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:10, Reply)

cocky little sh1t
he won't be laughing when the schizophrenia starts in a few years
(the_log_knows that the bird is the word, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:12, Reply)

oh, I don't know, my work takes me into a mental health unit
and they laugh quite a lot, when they're not screaming at mint imperials or staring at the upside down head people in the coke machine.
( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:20, Reply)

i did see a guy at lunch time roaring the words to
Billy Joel's 'Piano Man' from out of his window (there's a 'housing for the psychologically troubled' set up near my work) - he seemed fairly chipper i guess.
(the_log_knows that the bird is the word, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:39, Reply)

One of the patients in the hospital at the moment, is obsessed with Derek and Clive
When I walk past him, I just have to say 'Lobstericimus Bumacisimus' and he laughs, quite literally, like a loon. He also thinks he's on the wrong planet and consequently walks like gravity is too strong.
( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:42, Reply)

maybe he is?
Like a K-Pax type scenario?
(the_log_knows that the bird is the word, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:51, Reply)

Noooo, unfortunately he is just mad
quite harmless and nice though.
( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:56, Reply)

he alredy suffers from schizophrenia?
/cannabis doesnt cause mental health problems, but rather magnifies pre-existing problems blog.
(frshhh /Talk is as shit as everyone says it is - FACT, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:33, Reply)

I thought the research said it could trigger a pre existing mental episode?

( Nostrebor hack a doo doo YEAH, Mon 12 May 2008, 17:12, Reply)

It's fools like this
that give doobie a bad name.
( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:13, Reply)

In an unrelated piece of news
Many years ago, I won a T-Shirt proclaiming that 'Drugs Destroy Dreams' from the Arizona State Sheriffs dept after mindlessly browsing the web for drug related info for a laugh.

I stumbled onto this kids quiz on the Arizona Sherrifs website, completed it and forgot all about it. Fuck knows why, but I put my real name and address in when I did the quiz.

Several months later (I live in the UK), I came home from work to find a parcel waiting for me, stamped liberally with the 'Arizona State Law Department' over it. I shat myself, but opened it anyway and it....was my T shirt, which incidentally I still wear. It's great
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:31, Reply)

:D

( planearm, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:35, Reply)

And very true.
I never dream if I've had a good smoke before bed.
( Edenmonster, Mon 12 May 2008, 19:23, Reply)

Rock I made this!

( Peter Beater and then i broke my telescope, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:31, Reply)

Hahahahaha
That's ACE!
But it need's to be longer

MORE ROCKS! :-)
( Darklord, Mon 12 May 2008, 18:09, Reply)

There's a dead woman in the loo!
"Two people have been arrested after a Juneau County sheriff's deputy found one of them and her two children living in a home with the body of a 90-year-old woman decomposing on the bathroom toilet... Lewis told the deputy that 'God told her Alvina would come back to life if she prayed hard enough.'"

*stifles horrified laughter*
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:14, Reply)

she looks sane enough
pffft!
( masakatsu, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:23, Reply)

hahahaha

( spacehog play my Circular Pong at www.extralegs.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:21, Reply)

blimey
the only difference between religion and insanity as I see it , is how many people you can get to agree with you
(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:24, Reply)

...speechless...
( barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:28, Reply)

If Alvina came back to life
would she be a zombie? Do zombies poo?
(The Resident Loon Don't worry, we're from the Internet!, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:06, Reply)

Well she wouldn't have had a poo for ages
better to be safe than sorry - don't want a zombie pooing all over the living room floor.
(bobming, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:53, Reply)

Mad

( chickenlady I'll dress as a milkmaid and you can eat cake, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:18, Reply)

Nice anim :)

( Monty Propps Guest? Tourist at best., Mon 12 May 2008, 18:44, Reply)

oh dear what could the matter be, theres an old lady decomposing in the lavatory
( Elvis of Nazareth This isn't a sig, it's a fucking liberty., Mon 12 May 2008, 15:35, Reply)

arf
( chickenlady I'll dress as a milkmaid and you can eat cake, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:45, Reply)

how does she smell?

( awallafashagba .me.uk, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:14, Reply)

she can't, her nose has rotted away.

( spacehog play my Circular Pong at www.extralegs.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:38, Reply)

Blu Animation
Street artist Blu creates another awesome animation. It was done in Buenos Aires and Baden took months to paint, film and edit.
( redazril is a paranoid coke addict, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:55, Reply)

amazing
as always
( connor, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:11, Reply)

great stuff

(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:23, Reply)

bloody amazing that

( mutated monty, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:42, Reply)

Not many things make tea dribble out of my mouth...
That is outstanding!

Just wait for some band to do a CG cheapo ripp off though...
(Jorvic, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:12, Reply)

Thats the best thing I've seen in a while.
:o
( war3n3xt Chinese burn champion., Mon 12 May 2008, 19:28, Reply)

very very awesome
*no further text required*
( Shiodome has realised numbers in names aren't cool., Tue 13 May 2008, 0:35, Reply)

Idiots raise new generation of idiots
18 kids, twenty pregnancies and counting... Alleluia!
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:34, Reply)

From teh video still
It looks suspiciously like this family
( LemonEntryMyDearWatson This time, Moriarty, the hand is on the other foot, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:36, Reply)

Urgh!
They all have the same face! THE SAME FACE, I TELL YOU!
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:43, Reply)

apart from the little guy
he has the milkman's face...
( masakatsu, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:04, Reply)

and everyone's a little miracle
praise jeebus's holy spunk shooting disciples
( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:37, Reply)

Holy crap
Joshua, twins Jana and John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, twins Jedidiah and Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah and baby Jennifer
( t0ria has just noticed a links button on the FP! Finally, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:37, Reply)

Jinger?
Jinger?
( barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:39, Reply)

I like the Simpsons inspired ones
Will it be Jebediah next?
( t0ria has just noticed a links button on the FP! Finally, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:41, Reply)

Jumping Jehosophat
ftw
( barryheadwound Mul-ti-pass? Multipass!, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:42, Reply)

What no Judas?

( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:40, Reply)

How about
Jovi?
( t0ria has just noticed a links button on the FP! Finally, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:44, Reply)

They need a Johnnie


Arf! Geddit?
(PunchMyFace you know you want to..., Mon 12 May 2008, 13:43, Reply)

pfft
fool :)
( t0ria has just noticed a links button on the FP! Finally, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:56, Reply)

Imagine the confusion when
a letter arrives addressed to "J. Duggar".
(Kerrisis, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:40, Reply)

Johannah annows me most
Joanna, maybe I'd accept the 'dzh' in that, but Johannah, that's a Y, dammit, a Y!

annoys* Dysfucksik moment
(Frozen_Banana has devised the perfect freedom of speech solution, Mon 12 May 2008, 17:42, Reply)

Hubby is called 'Jim Bob'
"Both Michelle and Jim Bob — a former state legislator who served in the Arkansas House of Representatives — are real estate agents."
(PunchMyFace you know you want to..., Mon 12 May 2008, 13:40, Reply)

...
as opposed to fictional estate agents, I presume...
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:42, Reply)

*trombone slide*

( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:46, Reply)

I can't believe
they don't make use of natural child spacing methods. After all Jesus was breastfed (if he existed that is) and that helps delay fertility for at least a year for most women.
( moogy boobles, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:48, Reply)

That wouldn't delay an immaculate conception though.

( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:50, Reply)

Immaculate conception
It was Mary's conception that was immaculate, not Christ's. And that's only been dogma since 1847, iirc.

/pedant.


*is ashamed to know these things*
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:54, Reply)

close
but no cigar...1854
(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:03, Reply)

Oh, well
*doesn't smoke anyway*
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:07, Reply)

Oooh, I didn't know that
another made up historical fact to add to all the other ones.
( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:30, Reply)

'Pat Butchers Law':

"if you say something with enough conviction, people will believe you"
(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:39, Reply)

Nietzsche:
"For men will believe something true, if it is evident that others believe in it firmly" (Human, All Too Human, sec 2, § 52)
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Moliere:
"people who quote philosophers suck eggs"
(The Goat www.cuttingthroughthematrix.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:01, Reply)

Ugh...
Eggs.

*bokes*
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:04, Reply)

From the same site:
today.msnbc.msn.com/id/24544541/

Are you killing your cat/dog/budgie with the food you find yummy?
(PunchMyFace you know you want to..., Mon 12 May 2008, 14:01, Reply)

I'm sure someone else is thinking this
After all those kids, it must be like a wizards sleeve.
( redazril is a paranoid coke addict, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:09, Reply)

I wasn't thinking that at all
more a butchers dustbin.
( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:33, Reply)

or perhaps
a bit raw, like a dragons nostril.
( masakatsu, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Hahaha!
Glad someone said it.
(vix0r I was not Matthew on, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:35, Reply)

Yep
we were all thinking it...
( chickenlady I'll dress as a milkmaid and you can eat cake, Mon 12 May 2008, 15:30, Reply)

Possibly a welly top?

(onefishtwofish, Mon 12 May 2008, 18:04, Reply)

Idiocracy.
Crap movie but great idea.

Stupid people have loads of kids, Intelligent people have few/hold off until too late.

Result: World full of idiots.
( Crap Little Monkey can't type, can't spell, no grammer, no 'shop, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:43, Reply)

Fold it: Protein folding game
A puzzle game where the object is to fold protein sequences. You get scored points, and there's a league. However the data that you provide back goes towards scientific research. That's right, SCIENCE. Getting the top score, could win you a Nobel Prize :)

As it's just been launched, the server is on overload. It took me ages last night to log in. But there is tutorial content already installed on the game
( masakatsu, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:19, Reply)

........
Nope.
Does not compute.
:)
SCIENCE?
( t0ria has just noticed a links button on the FP! Finally, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:30, Reply)

Is the page loading for you?
Like I said, they're getting hammered at the moment. But the game is a nice download, and rather pleasant to play :)

SCIENCE! It's a saying that I saw over on /talk which made me smile
( masakatsu, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:01, Reply)

No its not
but I'm at work and my PC struggles with Word, let alone anything complicated!

And by the way WHAT were you doing on /talk? Unclean! Unclean! *points and laughs*

sorry to any /talkers around, no offence intended....
( t0ria has just noticed a links button on the FP! Finally, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:08, Reply)

I'm too shy to post
but some of the stuff that appears on /talk is brilliant.
( masakatsu, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:21, Reply)

The Apprentice Week 7 - double firing... I made this!
...have some multiple spang action...
( FB Boleg, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:33, Reply)

This week I was thinking...
... there's no way the Bolegs can make it any funnier than the real thing.

I was wrong.
( teedyay, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:38, Reply)

I concur
made me laugh my balls off. *clickety click*!
( rollthetroll, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:35, Reply)

KISS-rolled
greatest...thing...ever
(the_log_knows that the bird is the word, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:31, Reply)

brilliant !

( awallafashagba .me.uk, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:16, Reply)

communication skills
funny video that's 4 years old.

GC :)
( war3n3xt Chinese burn champion., Mon 12 May 2008, 12:05, Reply)

[PARTIAL PEAROAST] Reuben Bondek - full documentary NSFW I made this!


Yes it is, i'm afraid, so feel free to call me on it if you want (Propps to thread, heh). I posted a 3 minute trailer for this a while back, but I never posted the full 27-minute podcast itself, so here goes.

It's a spoof documentary about a fictional (and quite mad) avant-garde musician called Reuben Bondek, hosted by a highly pretentious music magazine called Thrubb. It traces his history right up to the present day, through his musical phrases and violent altercations with various hapless contemporaries.

Frankly, I'm really proud of what we managed to achieve, but the feedback has been minimal so far, so I was thinking I could rely on b3tans to give an honest opinion. if it doesn't engage you to the end, no worries-let me know, as it can help me with the next Bondek thing I do. I'm obviously hoping each and every one of you likes it, but life ain't like that, hah.

Cheers to you if you take the risk!



For anyone who's a glutton for punishment, have a listen to his most recent album, 'I Killed The Colour Green And It Hurt To Do So'. It's vintage drivel.

[/PARTIAL PEAROAST]

EDIT: dunno why the mp3 player doesn't work...sorry bout that.
( the_other_jeff_lebowski http://www.fineexcuses.com - rock goodness!, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:58, Reply)

needs more description pelase
( awallafashagba .me.uk, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Just to re-cap!
whats it about?
( war3n3xt Chinese burn champion., Mon 12 May 2008, 12:07, Reply)

Ah, probably should've provided more info
It's a spoof documentary about a fictional (and quite mad) avant-garde musician called Reuben Bondek, hosted by a highly pretentious music magazine called Thrubb. It traces his history right up to the present day, through his musical phrases and violent altercations with various hapless contemporaries.

It's a bit like Chris Morris crossed with Boosh-esque surrealism. It's an affectionate needling of people like Scott Walker, Tom Waits, and Jandek, all of whom I like a lot, but recogise how pretentious and silly experimental music can be.
( the_other_jeff_lebowski http://www.fineexcuses.com - rock goodness!, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:18, Reply)

Fire
Some building at my uni set on fire last night - was impressive. The roof came down, my room was full of smoke, and I even have a video of it.

This is more interesting tho...
(peakofphysicalfitness, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:44, Reply)

this amused me
and as this is Monday morning you may have a click
( Duncoffin seeking legal advice from my fridge?, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:48, Reply)

...
*considers self told*
*clicks*
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:48, Reply)

apparently a friend of mine managed to bring down his university network
at a cost of £100k+

im not entirely sure how yet
( wjh31, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:18, Reply)

ah that cheered me up
it's the deadpan monotone singing that does it for me.
( KittyWaste lives at Sleepingplanet.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:22, Reply)

Yey!
Especialy as now when I see any burning house or owt on telly, despite how horrific the story is, that song will be going round my head.. and every one will think im a psycho for the stupid grin ill have on my face! Woo!
(Jorvic, Mon 12 May 2008, 16:26, Reply)

Marathon bar set to return 18 years after Snickers rebrand
Yea for retro sweet names AND it'll allow this joke to come back into circulation

"I entered a marathon once. Took me ages to clean my knob afterwards"
(kenriise a city of 160,000 in the eastern Democratic Republ, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:14, Reply)

*snickers at your joke*

( rob, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:17, Reply)

thought it would... Asda now have Opal Fruits again for a few months at least, and they're both owned by Mars aren't they?

ahh.. yes....

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/1947574/Mars-to-bring-back-Marathon-bars.html
(acid_kewpie Vampire robonurses hunt in packs, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:19, Reply)

*shoots both of you.*

( Rainbow Dave has been spreading aids since, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:20, Reply)

Hurrah!
Maybe Western civilisation isn't doomed after all!

*Hopes to see the return of Opal Fruits in their original flavours*
( Enzyme is in ur [noun]z, [verb]in' ur [noun]z, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:23, Reply)

I like the image
I can't remember the last time I sliced a chocolate bar.
( krang, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:26, Reply)

I once sliced a mars bar when I was younger...
..Only to see what was inside, needless to say, I was disappointed. :(
( Rainbow Dave has been spreading aids since, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:31, Reply)

Yeeeessss

( the_other_jeff_lebowski http://www.fineexcuses.com - rock goodness!, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Think of the children.
Well, I want butterscotch Spangles back.
(p0zitr0n - phunarmically charged particle, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Not before I get my damn refreshers and sherbert dip....
Oh and that box of sherbert dip with the white chewy candy things in and they had collectors cards in with pictures of footballers on.
(. ., Mon 12 May 2008, 18:33, Reply)

I knew it
in the pub just last night I said this would happen. I reckon they actually changed names way back because they had great foresight, knowing during a bad sales time they could let this one out of the bag.
( moogy boobles, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:01, Reply)

probably some cnut at Mars got sacked and teh new boss has some savvy

( awallafashagba .me.uk, Mon 12 May 2008, 13:21, Reply)

So someones replaces snickers.jpg with marathon.jpg at the printers.

( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:16, Reply)

i can actually confirm that fact as true




probably
( awallafashagba .me.uk, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:33, Reply)

fuck me!
Is it REALLY 18 years? Christ, I'll be dead soon.
(Kung_Fu_Russ Formerly RussInLondon, Mon 12 May 2008, 12:40, Reply)

2 Girls 1 Suitcase?
Completely SFW, the title reminded me of something else though. Something I'd rather not be reminded of.
( krang, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:58, Reply)

specially the last page

( DeliriumSpong in need of a boneless box, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:14, Reply)

Bloke dancing. That is all.
What is the meaning of this? This guy has set up a camera in order to capture himself dancing very strangely and rather roboticly. But why?? And what in bejeesus's name happens at 0:34? A special effect? And what's with the spectacular finale? So many questions...

 
my head hurts
( spacehog play my Circular Pong at www.extralegs.com, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:50, Reply)

This is what happens
when you become bored of fjords.
( The magic of chutney www.reflected-loaf.co.uk, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:55, Reply)

hahahaha
too much herring!
( war3n3xt Chinese burn champion., Mon 12 May 2008, 11:11, Reply)

reminds me of that scene in Silence of the Lambs...

(londoner, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:40, Reply)

Giant Pandas at Edinburgh Zoo..
Edinburgh Zoo is in negotiations to bring a pair of giant pandas from China to Scotland
( Jahled The most heroic gerbil in Guildford, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:32, Reply)

Caw cannae
For fucks sake.

Special bonus track
www.youtube.com/watch?v=1yzh3GdjTEQ
( The Duke of Prunes, Mon 12 May 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Sweet Jesus
He appears to be possessed by the spirit of a 68 year old man.
( Hamster Trippin' hates you, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:09, Reply)

I hope...
he gets beat up in the playground.
(Kung_Fu_Russ Formerly RussInLondon, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:31, Reply)

adds to my things to kill before I die list.

( war3n3xt Chinese burn champion., Mon 12 May 2008, 10:42, Reply)

Oh dear
I'm sure his mammy loves him.
( pobblepop needs more tea, Mon 12 May 2008, 10:45, Reply)

cant............. stop............watching......
**goes to loch ness.
( Nostrebor hack a doo doo YEAH, Mon 12 May 2008, 14:19, Reply)

Funniest picture I have seen in a while.....

( Sir Pigeon Nipples http://www.myspace.com/hardcore_extreme, Mon 12 May 2008, 7:46, Reply)

I will have whatever you are having,
or had.
( RBF esquire went a bit squiffy at, Mon 12 May 2008, 7:48, Reply)

browsei.com/Pictures/205/Poor-Tom/
( Sir Pigeon Nipples http://www.myspace.com/hardcore_extreme, Mon 12 May 2008, 8:27, Reply)

Dark Economy Recession
browsei.com/Pictures/197/Dark-Economy-Recession/
( Lord_Munkee opened the Wrong Door and liked it very much, Mon 12 May 2008, 11:01, Reply)

Name the films in the image
Remember Virgin had a picture with 100 bands? Same kind of thing but M&Ms & spooky films, so far I've only got 20 out of 50.

Apologies if GC
(Baron Greenback Still in Sunny Singapore, Mon 12 May 2008, 6:46, Reply)

I could only get three

( planearm, Mon 12 May 2008, 6:56, Reply)

Empire used to do this sort of thing.

( RBF esquire went a bit squiffy at, Mon 12 May 2008, 7:11, Reply)

Im doing well too.

( RBF esquire went a bit squiffy at, Mon 12 May 2008, 7:20, Reply)

im on 13 now
with 12:32 left
(Brownpants A star sized pocket clock melts and bends in space, Mon 12 May 2008, 7:34, Reply)

it is quite forgivving when it comes to spelling
couldn't do more than 23 - then I found a cheat :( shame on me
(Baron Greenback Still in Sunny Singapore, Mon 12 May 2008, 7:37,