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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 106: "DRAWING COCKS ON SLEEPING FRIENDS"

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This Week:
* TOON - Tragic kittens
* WEEBL - New one. With pie.
* PHOTOS - Rathergood Selfridges window

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___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 106 - 26 Sept 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue106/

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 

  >> Kitten toon <<
  What can we possibly say new about kittens?
  We don't know, but Mr Mantlepies' work almost
  made us cry. Oh, you'll have to squint a bit
  to read the speech bubbles. 
http://www.mantlepies.com/poorlittlekitty.html


  >> Counting sheep <<
  Having trouble getting to sleep? We are.
  We've got a fucking newsletter to write,
  it's 3am and we're very nearly hallucinating
  so we're not sure what this is about. But
  it made us giggle. Thanks spassmonkey.
http://www.spassmonkey.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/flash/counting_sheep.html


  >> Saint Jordan <<
  UK readers will be aware of Jordan as a
  silicone-enhanced model sprawled across the 
  covers of the cheaper tabloids. We may mock her,
  but kittens worship her as a GOD, as revealed
  by Mr Wheatley.
http://www.mrandmrswheatley.co.uk/saintj.html


  >> Minefield game <<
  "This is my second attempt at a Flash game,"
  writes Gaz. "Itís not too bad even if I do say
  so myself." It isn't too bad. An arcade-style
  version of office favourite Minesweeper.
http://www.gazchap.com/minedout.html

  
  >> New Weebl <<
  This week, Weebl and Bob are faced with an 
  intriguing dilemma. Involving a pie. A
  bit of a return to old-school Weebl. Ace.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/blockage.htm


  >> Rathergood takes over the world <<
  Regular readers will need no introduction
  to Joel Veitch. He was a big part of b3ta
  from the very start and is now doing rather
  well in the world of TV animation. He's
  recently been asked to create a window
  display for Selfridges. It looks fantastic,
  and if you're in London it's worth
  checking out. B3ta regular Fraser did
  and brings you these photos.
http://www.blogjam.com/rathergoodselfridges/


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Drawing cocks on faces <<
  In a sense, aren't we all drawing cocks on each
  other's faces in God's eyes? But these people
  are taking it too literally, by actually drawing
  cocks on people's faces.
http://www.penischeek.com/


  >> Automatic wanking hand <<
  We like wanking. We like machines. We like
  Japanese things. So we love this automatic
  wanking Japanese hand. Mmm. Tiny.
http://daimaoh.kir.jp/ho/menssom.htm


  >> World Beard Championships <<
  Beards are funny. Not your rubbish one-week's
  growth but proper, cultivated, manly beards. Like
  topiary. Feast your senses at these fine
  specimens of face fur.
http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/


  >> Chinchillas. Important <<
  Harking back to the days when having a website
  was a big deal, this company has the most
  extraordinarily portentous Flash intro ever.
  Particularly for a company that sells
  chinchillas.
http://www.chinchillas.com/


  >> Incest Twins cartoon <<
  Comic strip in poor taste. Made us laugh,
  perhaps you too. Don't really need to bother
  with the others, though.
http://www.fattymattk.com/it/ttwo


  >> Bullet-proof briefcase <<
  We love the fact that this exists - a briefcase
  that in moments of crisis you can use as a
  bulletproof vest. Also protects your sandwiches
  from a sniper's cartridge.
http://www.lifecase.com/


  >> Shaving cats' noses <<
  The internet is full. Will someone please delete
  some stuff? Like this comprehensive guide on how
  to shave a cat's nose? Mind you, we hate hairy
  nosed cats, so maybe not. Print it out first. You
  never know when society will collapse and you'll
  need that information.
http://www.missionhillpersians.com/shaving.htm


  >> Pictures of stoners <<
  Okay, a gallery of 'funny stoned people' doesn't
  sound too great, but we found ourselves drawn in,
  almost against our will. Perhaps it was the
  influence of the killer drug marijuana.
http://www.wellcoolstuff.com/rebirth/stonedpeople.html


  >> Retro computer mods <<
  From the 'slightly nerdy' file, an antique
  typewriter modified for use as a PC keyboard.
  Next week; a MIDI interface for your
  harpsichord.
http://www.multipledigression.com/type/


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Make 'Em Dance Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted wanted to see things dance:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/makethemdance/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'Darkedge' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Darkedge writes -


  #1 "Extended Mix - sheer horsey brilliance.
     (anno domini hiatus)
http://b3ta.com/board/2001933

  #2 "Dancing Dalek - Pulling up the skirt and
     ending with the splits. Oh yes... (sweavo)
http://b3ta.com/board/2009466

  #3 "Yelsin Dance - Shame it wasn't stolly
     instead of absolute but still... this takes
     me back a fair bit." (Dr Nick Riviera)
http://b3ta.com/board/2037954


  "Special mention must go to the sheer geekiness
  of Cockles' Black Mesa Disco Inferno flash"
http://www.btinternet.com/~cockles/blackmesa.swf


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor Dr Dunno gave us
  the suggestion, "Conjoined Celebrities"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/conjoined/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * DAVID BLAINE MEDIA SENSATION - last week
    Brian Mung made a David Blaine killer game.
    He writes, "I've had a shocking amount 
    of attention from the Blaine thing, including
    shots in the papers, interviews, a mention on
    telly and most importantly, a note from Paul 
    Daniels. It's all detailed on the front
    page at my site."
http://www.brianmung.com/


  * SNOMANMAN PORN - last week we asked you
    to send in the oddest porn you knew about.
    The winner? This lovely young lady sucking
    a snowman's carrot cock. Warning: Er..
    this is porn. Not sexy. But porn nonetheless.
http://www.voyeurwebz.com/u/10/worldsex.htm


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * Sheep that count to infinity.

  * Japanese website running a Photoshop
    challenge titled, "Stupid Brits. Let's
    really freak them out."

  * Tributes to Princess Diana. We haven't
    seen any in ages. We want to tear our
    clothes and gnash our teeth. And weep.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by jharik, alexw1au DooBerry,
  brucemonaghan, Amy Woodbridge, Terry 
  mister_bronson_from_grange_hill and
  Digitdean is tired of long names.
  Top tippery from naive amoeba.
  Stupid porn from monkeymanblue.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the bearded b4ta clams. (70334)

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  TOP TIP:
  If your salt is getting stuck in the pot due
  to steam rising from your food, just put
  some rice in with the salt, and it'll soak up
  all the moisture.

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