NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 106: "DRAWING COCKS ON SLEEPING FRIENDS"
This Week:
* TOON - Tragic kittens
* WEEBL - New one. With pie.
* PHOTOS - Rathergood Selfridges window
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
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B3ta email 106 - 26 Sept 2003
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
>> Kitten toon <<
What can we possibly say new about kittens?
We don't know, but Mr Mantlepies' work almost
made us cry. Oh, you'll have to squint a bit
to read the speech bubbles.
http://www.mantlepies.com/poorlittlekitty.html
>> Counting sheep <<
Having trouble getting to sleep? We are.
We've got a fucking newsletter to write,
it's 3am and we're very nearly hallucinating
so we're not sure what this is about. But
it made us giggle. Thanks spassmonkey.
http://www.spassmonkey.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/flash/...
>> Saint Jordan <<
UK readers will be aware of Jordan as a
silicone-enhanced model sprawled across the
covers of the cheaper tabloids. We may mock her,
but kittens worship her as a GOD, as revealed
by Mr Wheatley.
http://www.mrandmrswheatley.co.uk/saintj.html
>> Minefield game <<
"This is my second attempt at a Flash game,"
writes Gaz. "It’s not too bad even if I do say
so myself." It isn't too bad. An arcade-style
version of office favourite Minesweeper.
http://www.gazchap.com/minedout.html
>> New Weebl <<
This week, Weebl and Bob are faced with an
intriguing dilemma. Involving a pie. A
bit of a return to old-school Weebl. Ace.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/blockage.htm
>> Rathergood takes over the world <<
Regular readers will need no introduction
to Joel Veitch. He was a big part of b3ta
from the very start and is now doing rather
well in the world of TV animation. He's
recently been asked to create a window
display for Selfridges. It looks fantastic,
and if you're in London it's worth
checking out. B3ta regular Fraser did
and brings you these photos.
http://www.blogjam.com/rathergoodselfridges/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Drawing cocks on faces <<
In a sense, aren't we all drawing cocks on each
other's faces in God's eyes? But these people
are taking it too literally, by actually drawing
cocks on people's faces.
http://www.penischeek.com/
>> Automatic wanking hand <<
We like wanking. We like machines. We like
Japanese things. So we love this automatic
wanking Japanese hand. Mmm. Tiny.
http://daimaoh.kir.jp/ho/menssom.htm
>> World Beard Championships <<
Beards are funny. Not your rubbish one-week's
growth but proper, cultivated, manly beards. Like
topiary. Feast your senses at these fine
specimens of face fur.
http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/
>> Chinchillas. Important <<
Harking back to the days when having a website
was a big deal, this company has the most
extraordinarily portentous Flash intro ever.
Particularly for a company that sells
chinchillas.
http://www.chinchillas.com/
>> Incest Twins cartoon <<
Comic strip in poor taste. Made us laugh,
perhaps you too. Don't really need to bother
with the others, though.
http://www.fattymattk.com/it/ttwo
>> Bullet-proof briefcase <<
We love the fact that this exists - a briefcase
that in moments of crisis you can use as a
bulletproof vest. Also protects your sandwiches
from a sniper's cartridge.
http://www.lifecase.com/
>> Shaving cats' noses <<
The internet is full. Will someone please delete
some stuff? Like this comprehensive guide on how
to shave a cat's nose? Mind you, we hate hairy
nosed cats, so maybe not. Print it out first. You
never know when society will collapse and you'll
need that information.
http://www.missionhillpersians.com/shaving.htm
>> Pictures of stoners <<
Okay, a gallery of 'funny stoned people' doesn't
sound too great, but we found ourselves drawn in,
almost against our will. Perhaps it was the
influence of the killer drug marijuana.
http://www.wellcoolstuff.com/rebirth/stonedpeople....
>> Retro computer mods <<
From the 'slightly nerdy' file, an antique
typewriter modified for use as a PC keyboard.
Next week; a MIDI interface for your
harpsichord.
http://www.multipledigression.com/type/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Make 'Em Dance Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted wanted to see things dance:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/makethemdance/
We asked B3ta boarder 'Darkedge' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Darkedge writes -
#1 "Extended Mix - sheer horsey brilliance.
(anno domini hiatus)
http://b3ta.com/board/2001933
#2 "Dancing Dalek - Pulling up the skirt and
ending with the splits. Oh yes... (sweavo)
http://b3ta.com/board/2009466
#3 "Yelsin Dance - Shame it wasn't stolly
instead of absolute but still... this takes
me back a fair bit." (Dr Nick Riviera)
http://b3ta.com/board/2037954
"Special mention must go to the sheer geekiness
of Cockles' Black Mesa Disco Inferno flash"
http://www.btinternet.com/~cockles/blackmesa.swf
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
This week, B3ta contributor Dr Dunno gave us
the suggestion, "Conjoined Celebrities"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/conjoined/
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* DAVID BLAINE MEDIA SENSATION - last week
Brian Mung made a David Blaine killer game.
He writes, "I've had a shocking amount
of attention from the Blaine thing, including
shots in the papers, interviews, a mention on
telly and most importantly, a note from Paul
Daniels. It's all detailed on the front
page at my site."
http://www.brianmung.com/
* SNOMANMAN PORN - last week we asked you
to send in the oddest porn you knew about.
The winner? This lovely young lady sucking
a snowman's carrot cock. Warning: Er..
this is porn. Not sexy. But porn nonetheless.
http://www.voyeurwebz.com/u/10/worldsex.htm
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* Sheep that count to infinity.
* Japanese website running a Photoshop
challenge titled, "Stupid Brits. Let's
really freak them out."
* Tributes to Princess Diana. We haven't
seen any in ages. We want to tear our
clothes and gnash our teeth. And weep.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by jharik, alexw1au DooBerry,
brucemonaghan, Amy Woodbridge, Terry
mister_bronson_from_grange_hill and
Digitdean is tired of long names.
Top tippery from naive amoeba.
Stupid porn from monkeymanblue.
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the bearded b4ta clams. (70334)
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TOP TIP:
If your salt is getting stuck in the pot due
to steam rising from your food, just put
some rice in with the salt, and it'll soak up
all the moisture.
