NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 126: "BABY RHINOS!"
This Week:
* GAME - Nigella Bites!
* ANIM - Life of the Yak
* PHOTOS - Chernobyl Ghost Town
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___/ _ |/_ </ __/ __ | "We're saving the
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B3ta email 126 - 12 Mar 2004
Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue126/
Subscribe: [email protected]
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Heads, yaks, lemons, monsters and shouting
>> Nigella bites! <<
What could be less challenging than a game
based on helping Nigella Lawson bake a
delicious pie? Ah, but what if a tragic baking
accident had reduced her to a gibbering,
floating, cannibalistic head? What if her
hair was infested with hamsters? What then,
dear reader? What then?? Proud creator Crazymum
has not been taking the special brain medicine.
http://www.crazymum.com/nigella.htm
>> Yak documentary <<
Jim has clearly been busy, tracking and
documenting the life-cycle of the mighty
yak-beast. Look and learn.
http://www.stuart.mitchell.zen.co.uk/images/flash/...
>> Lemony pain <<
How would you sell lemon juice? Talk about
its refreshing taste? Mention its high
Vitamin C content? Not for Demented Panda.
Oh no - he just squirts it directly up
people's noses with a funnel. The joy of
this video is watching the hapless actor,
trying to endorse the product while
spitting and weeping copiously.
http://members.shaw.ca/indifferentmedia/files/lemo...
>> Monster - a day in the life <<
B3ta regular Rogan Josh makes a welcome return
this week, with this charming, animated glimpse
into the everyday business of giant radioactive
lizards. Influenced a little by the Power Puff
Girls, but that's no bad thing, surely?
http://www.roganjosh.co.uk/stuff/monster/
>> Spazzy, shouting animal namer <<
Hit the buttons with the animal's name, see
its picture pop up. We don't know why, but
this is very funny. B3ta blogger supreme Fraser
Lewry has been labouring mightily at Flash
School for the last few weeks and this is the
first fruit of his Herculean efforts. Go Fraser!
http://www.blogjam.com/flash/week6/
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: B3TA RADIO
Old People Talking Bollocks
This week we're asking you to send in your
stories of the stupid but endearing things
that old people say.
http://b3ta.com/questions/old_people_talk_bollocks...
Oh and next week we've got Dave Rowntree -
the drummer from Blur - coming in for a chat.
He's here to promote his new animation series
Empire Square - but hopefully we'll be able
to get him to tap out his classic drum parts
on the desk for your amusement.
http://www.empiresq.com/
You can learn more about B3ta Radio and how
to tune in here:
http://b3ta.com/features/b3taradio/
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Channel 4 cuntfest <<
UK readers will be familiar with the current C4
branding campaign where they ask celebs
questions such as "When did you lose your
virginity?" Hot link - and fuck we've been
emailed it about 8 times this morning - of the
day is the version made for cinema release, but
banned. The question? What's your favourite
swearword. Our favourite bit? Judy Finnegan
saying fuck. It's like seeing the Queen
bum-raping a horse.
http://www.updater.co.uk/
>> Tranny or granny <<
Ah, the web. Why people put up personal photos
of themselves in such compromising positions
and not expect them to be emailed to all
and sundry we'll never know. This one's a treat.
http://pettipond.com/laterimages/pinups/jennifer_6...
>> Chernobyl ghost town <<
Wow. What could be better than being a young
lady on a motorbike and cruising through
the deserted streets of Chernobyl with
a camera? You need to see these haunting
photos. Oh and if you work in TV - we want
a documentary on this now. It's fascinating.
http://www.ninja-assassin.com/mirror/Chernobyl/
>> Spock & Kirk gay fan art <<
Many writers have explored the homoerotic
subtext to Shatner and Nimoy's Star Trek
alter-egos. But thanks to these genius web
artists we can now see it in the flesh. Make
this your new wallpaper - live the dream.
http://www.thyla.com/fan-art.html
>> Guess my name <<
We're big fans of simplicity at b3ta. Too much
stuff is overworked and underthunk. Conversely,
this is ace: photos of ordinary people and
you have to guess their name. The touch of
genius is that the quiz stores your answer to
create a straw poll on what random people think
the person's name is. And the odd thing is -
more often than not they get it right.
Conclusively proves people look like their names.
http://www.zerotv.com/namegame/answer_check.cfm
>> I got Chris Rock's mobile <<
Imagine you buy a new mobile and you find you've
accidentally got a famous actor's old number.
Read this charming story of the consequences.
http://www.laurasnyctales.com/current/chris-rock.h...
>> Bikes with one wheel <<
Blimey. Take a look at these odd transport
machines. We'll be laughing at the Segway in
20 years time, and in the same way.
http://www.dself.dsl.pipex.com/MUSEUM/TRANSPORT/mo...
>> Tattoo clothes <<
Want to look like a urban fucktard without
the expense or the pain of a full body
tattoos? Buy these shirts. Scare your mum.
http://64.225.33.220/default.asp
>> Ganster rap <<
To those who say web animation has become
bloated and over-worked we give you this.
Visual economy and great timing make this
flash video a demented treat.
http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shig.php
>> Minimalist web video <<
You thought the Asian one was low rent?
Check this out. It managed to keep our
interest simply by playing a great tune
and making the browser wobble. Hell yeah!
Fuck graphics - the cool kids are now
working purely in the medium of movement.
http://www.backup-source.com/dubdub/
>> Make your own George Bush posters <<
He he. Big news in the blogging world this
week was the official George Bush campaign
site that allows you to add your own text
to posters and print them out. Unsurprisingly
putting such a tool into the hands of a
naturally libertarian group such as bloggers
has resulted in a small phenomenon of
bastardised and subversive messages joyfully
created with the very tools meant to promote
Bush. Join in the fun and create your own
posters here:
http://www.georgewbush.com/btl/CustomPoster.aspx
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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO AAHH
Baby Rhinos
Increasingly we're understanding the
psychology of cute. You like baby animals.
We're not proud. You can have them - they
fucking rock.
This tiny, orphan rhino is gorgeous.
Look - he's got a little jacket to keep
him warm too. So sweet.
http://snipurl.com/52c1
BTW: What's the cutest thing you've seen on
the web recently? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results from the Get Rich Quick Challenge
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our heads.
Last week we wanted methods to Get Rich Quick:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/getrichquick/
We asked b3ta boarder 'northern blerk' to judge the
entries - here are his 3 faves.
Mr Northern Blerk writes -
#1 "B3ta T-shirts - well, you can't launch your
own T-Shirt brand and a competition for Get Rich
Quick Schemes on the same week and not expect
someone to take the piss. (Gype)
http://b3ta.com/board/2837677
#2 "Zoo for the Blind - it's got Brian Blessed *and*
bad taste! The perfect combination. (Sm0glane)
http://b3ta.com/board/2839689
#3 "Dasani - it wouldn't be funny if it wasn't
absolutely true! But it is, and is." (brianftang)
http://b3ta.com/board/2844839
>> This week's challenge <<
This week, the challenge dictator gave us
the suggestion, "The Film of the Game"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/filmofthegame/
>> Last week's results <<
We buggered up in the results to the image
challenge last week. Sorry about that.
We're spazzers. Anyway. You can
read them here:
http://www.b3ta.com/newsletter/issue125/#line322
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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
Follow-ups on previous stories.
* BUFFY SWEARING KEYBOARD REVIEW - one of the
odd things about the web is that if you create
something successful then it never dies. Rob
Manuel and Joel Veitch made the swearing
keyboard - ooh - 3 years ago now. And it's
still pissing people off. Read this review, that
misses the point but doesn't fail to entertain.
http://b3ta.com/board/2870134
Oh, and if you're a new subscriber. Here's
the keyboard for the sake of context:
http://www2.b3ta.com/buffyswear/
* MORE ON QUIZNO'S / RATHERGOOD - Got a spare
15 minutes and some headphones? Listen to
this radio news item on Joel's spongmonkeys
and other web animation such as Strongbad.
Best bit? Quizno's original owner expressing
bewilderment about the ads.
http://snipurl.com/51wt
* IVOR THE ENGINE - in response to our link
in last week's newsletter, "I wasted about two
and a half hours of my company time," writes
David Hamblin, "to make this paper model."
Huzzah. Very lovely it is too.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2841193
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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE
Make something cool and tell us about it. If
you are in it then people will see your stuff.
Things we'd really like to see include
* 3D HOT TUB - You know those 3D panoramic
pictures, where you can turn in circles and
look at mountains peaks as if you were
really high up? Like to see that, but in a
Jacuzzi, with sexy ladies.
* HOOVER ART - Spill loads of dirt and hoover
it up into something interesting. If your
mum catches you, just tell her you're
expressing yourself.
* NEW PRODUCTS - Why oh why can't someone
combine the power of cheese and of onion
into one mighty, totally satisfying consumer
product? Surely it's time for CHONIONS!
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
been featured then don't be put off - we look
at everything you send us.
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Subscribe: [email protected]
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THANKS:
This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with
David Stevenson.
Links sent in by Paul Coombs, Brad,
Pickup Stix, jamspoon and will munkeh
Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
Board research by Fnord.
Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
Proofing by the baby b4ta otters. (72038)
