NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 37 "THE SWEARING FISH AND THE SHITTY SHOW"
This Week:
- The Irritating Fish that Swears
- The Shitty Show
- Add an arse to any page on the net
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B3ta email 37 - 3 MAY 2002 - "We're saving the
web ... together"
Subscribe: [email protected]
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: THE IRRITATING FISH THAT SWEARS
Big Mouth Billy Bass - the truth is revealed
Have you see the Billy Bass fish? It's a
pathetic plastic toy that sings pop songs.
We've always found it particularly unamusing,
and to relieve our stress we made our own
swearing version.
We shoved it on the B3ta site earlier this
week and people either loved it or loathed
it.
From ...
"It makes me want to hunt down the loser who
made this flash, and punch him in the face!"
.. to ..
"The perfect embodiment of punk mentality."
Anyway, we like it, and if you're in the office
make sure you turn the sound down a bit, as
it'll cause offence.
http://b3ta.com/fish/
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: THE SHITTY SHOW
A Rude Sooty and Sweep animation.
We've been contacted by a mysterious person
who doesn't want to named for legal reasons.
They write -
"Did you ever watch the Sooty Show on kids TV?
I did. And I always suspected there was
something sinister going on. So I made this.
"I can't tell you who I am, as it could
compromise my career."
It's in awful taste - and that's why we
love it.
http://www.thelaughingskull.com/shitty/
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: ADD AN ARSE TO ANY PAGE ON THE NET
You know you want to.
Have you ever looked at a page on the web and
thought, "That would look loads better with
an arse on it?"
Thankfully, bt3a chum Chicago Dave has come to
the rescue.
Not only can you add an arse, but Bin Laden
and David Hasselhoff too.
What could be better?
http://www.limpfish.com/webbugs/
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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Hamlet, MP3s, Pogoball and Kitten Bashing.
>> Hamlet in PowerPoint <<
Brain emailed us about his project to turn
Hamlet into a PowerPoint presentation. It's
very funny. (BTW: This needs PowerPoint. D'oh!)
http://www.myrtle.co.uk/art/hamletppt1.pps
>> Top 5 B3ta Tunes <<
People hanging out on the board are a creative
bunch. A lot of them have been making music.
Board member Thorpe has sifted through 100s
of MP3s to give you the top 5 B3ta tunes.
http://spacetowns.com/b3tasounds/
>> Extreme Pogoball <<
B3ta reader Sean Buckelew has invented a new
sport. It involves bouncing on a pogo ball
along walls. It looks very dangerous.
http://www.ExtremePogoball.com
>> The Kitten Bash Game <<
B3ta boarder, Weebl has been making this high
speed variation on Mole Bashing. It's quite
tricky as you loose points for every kitten
you miss. Let them have it.
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/kitty.htm
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: SITES IN BRIEF
Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.
>> Collapse Game <<
Collapse has a simple concept, it's Maccy Game
meets Tetris. You can pick it up in 1 minute,
reach a gamers high within 5 and still be
playing it 2hrs later. Genius. Our fingers
still ache. (PC Only)
http://games.yahoo.com/games/collapse.html
>> Metal Bra <<
It's metal, it's a bra and it's got hands.
BTW: there is some nasty not work safe stuff
at the bottom of the page.
http://pandoras-toybox.com/jack3.html
>> Suicide Bomb Game <<
Bad taste, but funny and addictive.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/content.php
>> Dead Pool <<
Bet on people dieing. Yep it's the old classic
but with REAL CASH. Costs £5 to enter. Tell us
if you bother - we're interested whether this
is legal.
http://www.daisypushers.com
>> Dating for Autistics <<
This appears to be a genuine guide to help
autistics go on a date. However it's level of
details makes it unintentionally funny.
http://www.autistics.org/skills/pages/askherout.ht...
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: MP3 BOOTLEG OF THE WEEK
A tribute to Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes.
Each week we talk to th_dr at Boom Selection
to ask him about his favourite bootleg music
that he's heard this week.
th_dr writes -
"Forgive me, but it greatly amuses me. It's
TLC vs I Like Driving In My Car.
http://boom.phink.net/approved/anon_-_t-L-C(lunk_Click).mp3
"In other news, we put the acapella of Eminem's
new single on our site last Friday, and within
24 hours I had been sent 7 bootlegs of it. Led
Zeppellin, Michael Jackson, Kylie Minogue
and Dexy's Midnight Runners have been mixed with
the tune, among a few others - I've now got over
20 bootlegs of it. Wow."
http://boomselection.n3.net/
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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
Results - The Worst Job Ever - Ronald McDonald
Each week we run a competition to test your
creative skills. We set a challenge and you
open Photoshop and mess with our tiny minds.
Last week we asked for ideas on the worst
job in the world.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/worstjob/
>> Winners? <<
Here are the top three worst jobs in the world.
#1 Jeremy Clarkson's polisher. (Bazman)
http://intranet.mykindaplace.com/clarckson.gif
#2 The Pope's hat changer. (Stouffer)
http://stouffer.20m.com/pope.gif
#3 Or being the chihuahua that paints all
the pixels on your screen. (CrazyMum)
http://b3ta.com/board/7/0/4/1/6/
>> This Weeks Challenge <<
We want you to Photoshop Ronald McDonald.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/ronaldmcdonald/
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: HOW TO SPEND YOUR MONEY
Get a Simpson's DVD for £15
CD WOW is selling the 3 DVD package of the
Simpsons Episode 1 for £15, that's £20 less
than Amazon.
It's region 1, so you'll need a multi-region
DVD player.
Despite series 1 not being the best episodes
they ever made - it's bloody cheap and
represents about as much entertainment as £15
can buy.
We bought one a couple of weeks ago - and it
turned up promptly.
http://cd-wow.com/detail_results_2.php
(BTW: If you've bought something fun on the
Internet, let us know at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/)
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: ITV DIGITAL MONKEY
A farewell from their friends.
ITV Digital was a TV service that supplied
it's UK subscribers with a load of crap old
repeats.
It's unique marketing gimmick was a stuffed
monkey that came free with the box.
It was a very nice monkey - in fact the monkey
was much nicer than the product.
And now the service has finally collapsed.
The monkey? Well he ended up being photoshopped
all over the web in a number of tragic poses,
Suicidal, drunk and depressed.
And now? We'll let the web team who spent
many sweaty hours thinking up ways of trying
to promote the monkey on the web have their
final say.
This is their goodbye. It's sweet.
http://www.alandmonkey.com/
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: IN NEXT WEEKS ISSUE
You.
Yep. You. Make something cool. Email us about
it, and we'll pass it by our highly trained
editorial monkey, and if he likes it, then
it's in.
Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/
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