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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 37 "THE SWEARING FISH AND THE SHITTY SHOW"

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This Week:
- The Irritating Fish that Swears
- The Shitty Show
- Add an arse to any page on the net

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B3ta email 37 - 3 MAY 2002  -   "We're saving the
                                web ... together"

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: THE IRRITATING FISH THAT SWEARS
  Big Mouth Billy Bass - the truth is revealed

  Have you see the Billy Bass fish? It's a
  pathetic plastic toy that sings pop songs.

  We've always found it particularly unamusing,
  and to relieve our stress we made our own
  swearing version.

  We shoved it on the B3ta site earlier this
  week and people either loved it or loathed
  it.

  From ...

  "It makes me want to hunt down the loser who
  made this flash, and punch him in the face!"

  .. to ..

  "The perfect embodiment of punk mentality."

  Anyway, we like it, and if you're in the office
  make sure you turn the sound down a bit, as
  it'll cause offence.
http://b3ta.com/fish/


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: THE SHITTY SHOW
  A Rude Sooty and Sweep animation.

  We've been contacted by a mysterious person
  who doesn't want to named for legal reasons.
  
  They write -

  "Did you ever watch the Sooty Show on kids TV?
  I did. And I always suspected there was
  something sinister going on. So I made this.

  "I can't tell you who I am, as it could 
  compromise my career."

  It's in awful taste - and that's why we
  love it.
http://www.thelaughingskull.com/shitty/


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: ADD AN ARSE TO ANY PAGE ON THE NET
  You know you want to.

  Have you ever looked at a page on the web and
  thought, "That would look loads better with
  an arse on it?"

  Thankfully, bt3a chum Chicago Dave has come to
  the rescue.

  Not only can you add an arse, but Bin Laden
  and David Hasselhoff too.
 
  What could be better?
http://www.limpfish.com/webbugs/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Hamlet, MP3s, Pogoball and Kitten Bashing.

  >> Hamlet in PowerPoint <<
  Brain emailed us about his project to turn
  Hamlet into a PowerPoint presentation. It's 
  very funny. (BTW: This needs PowerPoint. D'oh!)
http://www.myrtle.co.uk/art/hamletppt1.pps

  >> Top 5 B3ta Tunes <<
  People hanging out on the board are a creative
  bunch. A lot of them have been making music.
  Board member Thorpe has sifted through 100s
  of MP3s to give you the top 5 B3ta tunes.
http://spacetowns.com/b3tasounds/

  >> Extreme Pogoball <<
  B3ta reader Sean Buckelew has invented a new
  sport. It involves bouncing on a pogo ball
  along walls. It looks very dangerous.
http://www.ExtremePogoball.com

  >> The Kitten Bash Game <<
  B3ta boarder, Weebl has been making this high
  speed variation on Mole Bashing. It's quite
  tricky as you loose points for every kitten
  you miss. Let them have it.
http://www.weebl.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/kitty.htm


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Collapse Game <<
  Collapse has a simple concept, it's Maccy Game
  meets Tetris. You can pick it up in 1 minute,
  reach a gamers high within 5 and still be
  playing it 2hrs later. Genius. Our fingers
  still ache. (PC Only)
http://games.yahoo.com/games/collapse.html

  >> Metal Bra <<
  It's metal, it's a bra and it's got hands.
  BTW: there is some nasty not work safe stuff
  at the bottom of the page.
http://pandoras-toybox.com/jack3.html

  >> Suicide Bomb Game <<
  Bad taste, but funny and addictive.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/content.php?id=50323

  >> Dead Pool <<
  Bet on people dieing. Yep it's the old classic
  but with REAL CASH. Costs £5 to enter. Tell us
  if you bother - we're interested whether this
  is legal.
http://www.daisypushers.com
 
  >> Dating for Autistics <<
  This appears to be a genuine guide to help
  autistics go on a date. However it's level of
  details makes it unintentionally funny.
http://www.autistics.org/skills/pages/askherout.html


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: MP3 BOOTLEG OF THE WEEK
  A tribute to Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes.

  Each week we talk to th_dr at Boom Selection
  to ask him about his favourite bootleg music
  that he's heard this week.

  th_dr writes - 

  "Forgive me, but it greatly amuses me. It's 
  TLC vs I Like Driving In My Car.
http://boom.phink.net/approved/anon_-_t-L-C(lunk_Click).mp3

  "In other news, we put the acapella of Eminem's
  new single on our site last Friday, and within
  24 hours I had been sent 7 bootlegs of it. Led
  Zeppellin, Michael Jackson, Kylie Minogue
  and Dexy's Midnight Runners have been mixed with
  the tune, among a few others - I've now got over
  20 bootlegs of it. Wow."
http://boomselection.n3.net/


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results - The Worst Job Ever - Ronald McDonald

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our tiny minds.

  Last week we asked for ideas on the worst
  job in the world.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/worstjob/

  >> Winners? <<
  Here are the top three worst jobs in the world.

  #1 Jeremy Clarkson's polisher. (Bazman)
http://intranet.mykindaplace.com/clarckson.gif

  #2 The Pope's hat changer. (Stouffer)
http://stouffer.20m.com/pope.gif

  #3 Or being the chihuahua that paints all
  the pixels on your screen. (CrazyMum)
http://b3ta.com/board/7/0/4/1/6/


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  We want you to Photoshop Ronald McDonald.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/ronaldmcdonald/


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: HOW TO SPEND YOUR MONEY
  Get a Simpson's DVD for £15

  CD WOW is selling the 3 DVD package of the 
  Simpsons Episode 1 for £15, that's £20 less
  than Amazon.

  It's region 1, so you'll need a multi-region
  DVD player.

  Despite series 1 not being the best episodes
  they ever made - it's bloody cheap and
  represents about as much entertainment as £15
  can buy.

  We bought one a couple of weeks ago - and it
  turned up promptly.
http://cd-wow.com/detail_results_2.php?product_code=1667

  (BTW: If you've bought something fun on the
  Internet, let us know at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/)


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: ITV DIGITAL MONKEY
  A farewell from their friends.

  ITV Digital was a TV service that supplied
  it's UK subscribers with a load of crap old
  repeats.

  It's unique marketing gimmick was a stuffed 
  monkey that came free with the box.

  It was a very nice monkey - in fact the monkey
  was much nicer than the product.

  And now the service has finally collapsed.

  The monkey? Well he ended up being photoshopped
  all over the web in a number of tragic poses,
  Suicidal, drunk and depressed.

  And now? We'll let the web team who spent
  many sweaty hours thinking up ways of trying
  to promote the monkey on the web have their
  final say.

  This is their goodbye. It's sweet.
http://www.alandmonkey.com/


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: IN NEXT WEEKS ISSUE

  You. 

  Yep. You. Make something cool. Email us about
  it, and we'll pass it by our highly trained
  editorial monkey, and if he likes it, then
  it's in.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

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