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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 50: "THE TRUTH ABOUT MOTORBIKES"

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This Week:
- Motorbikes!
- Film Tie-in Quiz
- Fig rolls rated and reviewed

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 50 - 02 Aug 2002

Read this issue online:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue50/

       Subscribe:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
         Unsub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: BIKER FLASH ANIMATION
  The funniest thing we've seen in ages

  The joy of running the B3ta site is being
  surprised by the quality of stuff that sometimes
  turns up.

  SpunkyBackpack emailed us and said, "here's my
  first and thus best flash animation. It's about
  motorbikes. I think you'll like it."

  He wasn't wrong. We love it. We laughed. We
  clapped and barked like seals.
http://www.b3ta.com/motorbikes/


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: RETRO COMPUTING MOVIE CHALLENGE
  Spot the Hollywood star from their game graphic

  Most blockbuster films come with a computer
  game adaptation.

  And most of them are shit.

  The worst? The ones from the 1980s where
  the computers could only make pathetic blocky
  images.

  Monkeon has taken these pics and turned them
  into a funny quiz.

  Can you tell which rubbish screenshot represents
  which Hollywood star or movie?
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/moviechallenge/


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: THE RATHERGOOD CORNER
  Mr Johnson - a new animated gag

  Joel Veitch runs a site called Rathergood.
  He's our mate and we love his deranged work.

  Joel writes - 

  "I've invented a new character. He's called
  Mr Johnson. Do you like him?"

  Yes. We like him. Do you?
http://www.rathergood.com/mr_johnson/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #1
  Nice stuff that'll make you feel nice.

  >> Fig Rolls! Reviewed! <<
  Regular readers will know all about Nicey's
  obsession with biscuits. He brings both an
  engineer's precision and an enthusiast's
  delight to his writing. The latest is "the most
  comprehensive Fig Roll review ever." McVities?
  Are you reading this? Give Nicey a job tasting
  your biscuits.
http://www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com/biscuits/fig/


  >> Where do they make balloons? <<
  Fat Boab has been listening to They Might Be
  Giants and made this flash video for one of
  their songs. It's a sweet little thing with
  a charming mood.
http://comedy.allinfoabout.com/balloons.html


  >> How cats cause hurricanes <<
  Fnord thinks cats are responsible for the
  weather. He claims to have satellite footage
  that proves it. We found his animation amusing
  and strangely hypnotic.
http://www.fnord.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/spinme.htm

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: HOW TO SPEND YOUR MONEY THIS WEEK
  Buy This Man a Hooker

  Brian is a virgin and lives with his sister.
  He's asking you to donate $1 so that he can buy
  sex with a prostitute. OK - the site is obviously
  a joke, but who is the money really going to?
  And does Brian really exist? Get in touch
  if you know.
http://www.buymeahooker.com/

  BTW: Have you bought anything cool online? 
  Send your stories to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK #2
  Horrid stuff that'll make you go "yuck"

  >> Are you on the blob? A scientific survey <<
  When women live together their menstrual cycles
  synchronise. We were wondering if the same thing
  happened to all the women that use the web. Our
  survey is only one click and features some lovely
  songs. It's been open for 5 days, and we've
  established that 1st of August was the
  Internet's blobbiest day.
http://b3ta.com/are-you-on-the-blob/


  >> Nasty skin close-up photos <<
  Glitzer emailed us from Switzerland about 
  his site. He takes close up photographs of
  people's body parts. It's both arty and icky. 
http://www.glitzer.ch/haut/


  >> Harold Shipman Kick-ups <<
  Abyss Williams has taken the Kick-ups game and
  remade it with Harold Shipman's head. We like
  the ominous sound effects.
http://www.mediapill.com/features/fun_arena/keepitupharold.html


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: WHERE I LURK
  Freddy Woo on "Cook'd and Bomb'd"

  People pass time on the web in different ways.
  Some people like links, some read news, others
  watch message boards. Each week we ask a B3ta
  reader where they like to lurk.

  Freddy Woo writes -

  "Cook'd and Bomb'd is a Chris Morris fan site.
  But it's better than that. The people on this
  board are funny in their own right. The best
  bit is that they have a shit load of bandwidth
  and host tons of weird MP3s found by the
  contributors.

  "This thread is about the worst records ever
  made, and is jam-packed with really unusual
  music to download. There's enough stuff here
  to burn a CD that would clear any dance floor."
http://makeashorterlink.com/?K13022C61


  BTW: Where do you lurk? We'd like you to
  contribute to this section. Send a couple
  of paragraphs to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Free Glitter Band T-Shirt <<
  Gary Glitter is a disgraced UK pop star who
  recently fled the country after serving a jail
  sentence for possession of child pornography.
  We feel sorry for his backing band who are
  obviously having PR difficulties. They
  are offering free Glitter Band T-shirts
  to anyone who is prepared to pay the P&P.
  It would make a great present for your
  special uncle. We've ordered five.
http://www.glitterband.fsnet.co.uk/tshirt.html


  >> Convert your server into a fridge <<
  Matthijs Mourits works for a large IT company.
  One day he noticed that they were throwing away
  the casing for an old Silicon Graphics server.
  At that moment he had a vision "of a world
  where server and refrigerator could co-exist." 
  It looks great. It's also surprisingly stylish.
http://home.planet.nl/~mourits/koelkast/


  >> Girls! Never buy tampons again! <<
  "The Keeper" is a rubber cup that you shove
  up your vagina to catch your menstrual flow.
  This sounds deeply weird and possibly dangerous
  to us. But we could be wrong. 
http://www.keeper.com/


  >> Lego Machine Gun <<
  Lego is for kids right? Wrong. There's a 
  thriving scene of adult Lego enthusiasts on
  the Internet making models of astonishing
  complexity. This model of the H&K MP5 would
  probably get you shot by the police if you
  took it outside. 
http://onyx.malagraphixia.com/H&K_MP5/H&K_MP5.htm

 
  >> Porn Clerk Diaries <<
  We don't like reading online. We've seen this
  link turn up pretty much everywhere. We even
  overheard someone in the pub saying they were
  submitting it as an idea for a new TV show.
  So we finally got round to reading it. It's
  fantastic.
http://www.improvisation.ws/mb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=4475


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: MP3 OF THE WEEK
  An E.P from Braces Tower AKA Paul Thorpe

  Remember Paul Thorpe? He's a B3ta contributor
  who found fame by making a Big Brother themed
  track which ended up being played on Radio 1.
 
  He's now put together a 4 track EP that's
  available to download via the Mono211 site.

  They've given him a rather nice write up too.
  Go Paul!
http://www.mono211.com/content/releases/m211mp28.html

  BTW: The_dr is away.


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the "Eighth Wonder" Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted for you to create the Eighth
  Wonder of the World.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/eighthwonder/

  We asked B3ta boarder Tomsk to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Tomsk writes -

  #1 "Stonehenge Domino Rally - Nice animation
      of wanton destruction. (MisterAlfie)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/2/9/1/3/1/

  #2 "Statue of Liberty - on wheels. (Taz_etc)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/3/1/4/5/3/

  #3 "Sagrada Familia - with extra Fish.
      (Scubadog)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/2/2/9/3/0/0/


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, B3ta contributor LumpBucket gave us
  the suggestion, "Take the back off the clock.
  How do things really work?"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/howstuffreallyworks/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * MTV is in talks with Weebl about his pie
    animations.

  * THAMES TV is in talks with Joel from
    Rathergood about creating characters for a
    new website.

  * Remember the Get Stu a Job site? We asked
    the site whether Stu had got a job and they
    said, "Fat chance!"

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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. 

  Stuff we'd really like to see includes

  * Where you lurk
  * Things to buy
  * Your latest stuff

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

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  THANKS: Stuart Riddell, Happy fan in Florida,
  LuftWaffle, Dan Armstrong, Stunt, 40056 and
  David Stevenson for helping edit the issue.

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