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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 59: "HAVE YOU GOT PARKINSON'S?"

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This Week:
- Love test
- Have you got Parkinson's?
- Penguin Madness

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"


B3ta email 59 - 04 Oct 2002

Read this issue online:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue59/

        Subscribe: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
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: WHO LOVES YOU? WHO DO YOU LOVE?
  Take this test and find out.

  Did you ever play the game where you took your
  name and someone you fancied - did a bit of maths
  and it gave you a compatibility rating?

  Net genius Casey has knocked up a web version.
  It rocks. (We're 98% in love with Hitler.)

  Casey writes:

  "Better than that - it'll give you the world's
  most useless advice. I've got to change my name
  to Cyril if I want Geri Halliwell to return my
  calls."
http://projects.caseyporn.com/nomdamour/


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: HAVE YOU GOT PARKINSON'S?
  Take this test and find out.

  Mr. Peters from Mantlepies has been working
  tirelessly in his lab to create this scientific
  test for the sake of all mankind.

  Try it. Before it's too late.
http://www.mantlepies.com/parkinsons.html


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: B3TA PARTY
  Halloween Special

  Open your diaries and write:

  "1st, November.
  B3ta Halloween Party. Kentish Town, London.
  Costumes optional."

  If you read next week's newsletter, we might
  even give you a flyer.


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Penguins, Bob, Marketing wank

  >> Infinite Penguin Generator <<
  Steve writes, "Edinburgh Zoo has its own
  penguin parade - my local zoo doesn't. I was
  greatly upset by this, so I made my own. I made
  the music too." We love stuff like this. Send
  us more. BTW: Keep pressing the "plus" button
  for extra penguins.
http://www.impendingdoom.co.uk/cartoons/penguins.html


  >> A week of Weebl and Bob <<
  Jonti has been busy this week. He's set himself
  the challenge of making a new episode of Weebl
  and Bob every day. To make things easy he's
  left out Weebl. Check out Bob's holiday in
  France.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/bobs%20week%20in%20france.htm


  >> Sell yourself through a marketing lens <<
  Ever wondered how Ikea name their products?
  Or even come up with the concept of what they
  should be? Stick your name into this
  product-descriptor thingy and be dumbfounded by
  the marketing blurb it returns. Or not.
http://thesurrealist.co.uk/priorart.cgi


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: USELESS TAT TO SPUNK YOUR MONEY AWAY
  Buy a Tory Tea mug.

  Remember the Tories? We do. In fact it's almost
  sad how often you don't hear from them these
  days. Encourage your mates to think about right
  wing issues by buying them this finely crafted
  piece of fascist ceramic.
http://shop.conservatives.com/item.jsp?ID=2206

  BTW: Have you found a present for someone you
  really pity? Tell us at http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Texty Wordy Anagram Game <<
  Click on letters and link them up to make words,
  much like a word search but far more addictive.
  It's made by Popcap, the people that stole
  thousands of office hours with the game Bejewelled.
  This game will probably destroy your life. That
  is why it is good.
http://www.popcap.com/gamepopup.php?theGame=bookworm


  >> People being chopped up <<
  We couldn't watch these autopsy videos. They
  are really grim. Are you man enough to watch
  them all the way through? Masturbating? That's
  the sign of someone special.
http://wsuonline.weber.edu/gundy/labs/default.htm


  >> Nerd Film Quiz <<
  Remember that movie with the computer in it?
  Of course you do. You moaned to your mates that
  it was unrealistic. Maybe. Anyway - this is
  a neat quiz where you have to identify stills
  of computers from popular films.
http://www.filmwise.com/visual/computers_01.shtml


  >> David Copperfield Website Shitefest <<
  Is this the worst celebrity website in the world?
  It purports to overload your browser with the
  raw magic of David Copperfield. Marvel at how much
  money he must have spent to get this ambitious,
  technically accomplished, yet strangely
  uncompelling Flash animation put together.
http://www.tornadooffire.com


  >> Make sand art pics <<
  This is the most complicated way of making
  pictures we've seen in a while. You have to pour
  sand into piles and somehow make images. It's
  probably best for making images of argyle socks.
http://lovethosekids.com/playgrnd/sandart.htm


  >> Reading about Toast <<
  It's not often we recommend something as wordy
  as this - but we really enjoyed this short
  extract of a book celebrating the humble joys
  of toast. Read it. And then have some toast.
http://www.theoldie.co.uk/toast02.html


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: CALL FOR COLLABORATORS
  Can you help this person out?

  >> WANTED: Rock Song <<
  Benjymous writes:
  "I'm working on a PC clone of the classic Sega
  game 'Death Tank Zwei, and could do with someone
  to make me a theme song for it. I need 20 seconds
  of German loudness with somebody shouting 'Hell
  Tank' and other incomprehensible stuff."
http://www.grapefruitopia.com/helltank/

  Do you need a collaborator? Then tell us at
  http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/ 


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Before & After' Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted you to tell us a story
  in two pictures - before and after:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/beforeafter/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'bloid' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Bloid writes -

  #1 "Why did the chicken cross the road? - Two
  weeks running for rogan, but this is inspired!!
  Last minute entry - definite winner!! (rogan)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/8/5/1/7/4/

  #2 "Archer before and after - I just liked this
  one. Archer is a lying fool, and it's just
  nice when the judiciary catch him out.
  (crush with eyeliner)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/6/9/9/5/2/

  #3 "War and Peace - This one shows an inspirational
  level of cynicism that I think we should foster.
  I'm not sure which is worse, the before or after
  scenario." (frankus)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/7/9/3/9/0/

  He adds "This week's 'image that gave me the fear'
  award has to go to Reverend Dan for his truly
  disturbing George 'robot wars' Francis picture."
  We're scared of this one too...
http://www.b3ta.com/board/3/7/0/7/9/6/


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, the B3ta random challenge generator came
  up with the suggestion, "Great moments in history
  (that were curiously overlooked)"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/greatmomentsinhistory/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * BAD TASTE HOTEL UPDATE - last week we
    mentioned the Madonna Inn. Blimey. It's more
    famous than we thought - loads of you have
    actually stayed there and loved it. Apparently,
    the urinals are worth checking out.

  * WHERE B3TA WAS BANNED NEXT
    BT Martlesham, UK
    Brighton Secondary School, Australia
    Leicester Grammar, UK
    Birmingham Grid For Learning, USA
    Baltimore City Public Schools, USA
    North Leamington School, Warwickshire, UK

    OK - we're bored now. We're banning the
    banned feature. 


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Stuff we'd really like to see includes

  * Stuff that took zero effort to make but is
  great anyway. 
  * Celebrity autographs, "To B3ta with love"
  * Freebies. If you work for a corporate then
  send us some free stuff. We'll flog it on
  Ebay. Yay! 

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/


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  THANKS: Links supplied by Spacefish, John Currie,
  Jen, Lucy Reese, Andy Goth, Graham Freeman,
  John Currie, Fraser and TheWife. Other stuff
  from Kaor, Patricia Fabricant, hunkee, Helen
  Garside and Scott Randall, Duncan, Simon Jelly,
  Tom and Claude Call. Mike Trinder handled
  the image challenge. David Stevenson and
  Mike Trinder helped edit this issue. Employing
  the proofing services of B4ta. (47111)

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