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NEWSLETTER: "EASTER EGG OF THE DAY: GOOGLING THE WORD 'ASKEW'"

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This Week:
* GAME OF THRONES - dubbed as a comedy movie
* MORSE - lols from the olde timey internet
* COCKS - hidden on the London Tube map

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving     
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   the web
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     ...together"

B3ta email 603 - 18 Oct 2013

Go to your room and think about this newsletter: 
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue603 

   Him : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Hymn : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: SPONSORED LINK
  New 'Mashed' stuff using B3tans

  "Evening B3tans.  MASHED calling (ding dong) -
  what a week it's been - Dave Sheep launches a
  range of GCHQ Spywear. 
http://j.mp/174V2ce


  "And then Somegreybloke goes and drops NSA:
  National Insecurity on us
http://j.mp/18poZBy


  "Anyone would think we had a thing against
  being spied on!   Please enjoy, and if you
  like, subscribe and share." 


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Morse, Googling and Delivering

  >> Morse LOLz 3 <<
  "This is the 3rd release in our historical
  series, made with archive footage of the
  earliest internet users," beeps wallopfilms.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Morse_LOLz_3


  >> Pops does a "Computer Googling" <<
  There's something we really enjoy about this
  series from Touched by an Angle Grinder. Here,
  TBAAG's dad waxes lyrical on how much the
  "computer Google" has improved since he was
  young.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1081556/


  >> Do you deliver? <<
  "Just whacked up a new thingy innit," brags the
  internet's tiny Joel Veitch. More escapades
  with his disturbing puppet pals.
http://b3ta.com/links/Stallion_Explosion_Delivery


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: USVSTH3M
  Stuff we like and also we made

  >> British Gas Bill Simulator <<
  BG is putting its prices up again. Find out how
  itíll affect you with this online calculator.
http://bit.ly/19amJxE


  >> The six penises hidden on the London Tube Map <<
  We can't believe they've been staring us in the
  face all this time.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/64118798676/the-six-hidden


  >> Donna Summerís Disco Sausage Quiz <<
  Face the Sausageís quickfire questions about
  both disco and preserved meats.
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/donna-summers-disco-sausage/


  >> Paris? Where the Hell is Paris? <<
  Test your geography skills against the world.
  Can you pin down where the capital cities are?
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/paris/


  >> Things people say on Twitter <<
  ...and what they really mean. Basically, humans
  are the worst, aren't they?
http://usvsth3m.com/post/64289939215/things


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Irrational People
 
  As Freddie Woo so succinctly puts it, "I'm
  having to drive 500 miles to pick up my son
  from the ex's house because she won't let him
  take the train in case he gets off at the wrong
  station. He's 19 years old and has A-Levels."
  Read on for more crazy unreasoning:
http://b3ta.com/questions/irrationalpeople


  * MOON - "I discovered that one of my work-mates
    was one of these deluded moon-landings-were-faked
    fools. He was also someone who was interested
    in an intellectual debate over a couple of
    beers, so I told him to gather any supposed
    evidence he could find, so I could point out
    why it was invalid.
   
    "He duly turned up at the pub with some
    printouts from a website with all the usual
    cliches - no stars (chuckle), flag waving
    (chortle), wrong shadow directions (guffaw).
    But it quickly became apparent that this was
    something different, and far stranger. The
    website he'd found was claiming, apparently
    seriously, that the Moon itself didn't
    actually exist. The fact that we think we can
    see it in the sky was an illusion, a
    conspiracy perpetrated by the shadowy powers
    that control our lives. 

    "Yes, the Moon is a hoax. Clearly we can't
    have landed on it, since it doesn't exist. I
    have to admit that I found it hard to know
    where to start with my rebuttal..."
(moon monkey)
 
 
  * BUFFOON - "Discussing with my ex-girlfriend
    how I was having trouble finding a job. I'd
    finished university and was working in
    Woolworths whilst trying to get a better job.
    'There are more jobs in London, why don't you
    move down here?' 'I would, but I'd need a job
    first so I could afford to move down.' 'No. I
    live in London and I don't have a job!' 'Yes,
    but you have a flat.' 'Well if I can have a
    flat in London without having a job, why
    can't you?' 'Errrr. Your Dad BOUGHT your flat
    for you.' 'I really don't see what that's got
    to do with anything...'
(SnowyTheRabbit)

 
  * BALLOON - "A friend of mine absolutely refused
    to drive anywhere at night because she was
    worried she would hit someone and not notice.
    I always thought I could cure her irrational
    fear by setting up some empty plastic trash
    bins and having her bump them with her car at
    low speeds, to show that it's impossible to
    not notice even that kind of impact. 

    "The opportunity never came up, so instead I
    wedged an old deflated child's birthday
    balloon and some human hair in the underside
    of her bumper when she was leaving work for
    the day, figuring that facing her fear was
    the only way to get past it."
(Wank Fuckclunge)


  >> This Week - BAD DATES <<
  Tell us about your least successful date.
  Arrive late? Forget their name? Show them
  goatse on your phone just as the main course
  arrived? Or was it the other way around?
http://b3ta.com/questions/baddates/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> Extreme Makeover - Fuck-Mattress edition <<
  Kind-hearted strangers provide a much-needed
  makeover for an abandoned mattress in the woods.
http://bit.ly/16ZHNtm


  >> How Twitter outrage works <<
  It's Buzzfeed, it's good and it basically ate
  Twitter earlier this week. Loads and loads of
  detail and little in-jokes that reward paying
  attention.
http://bit.ly/GRq2AD


  >> iPhone 5s vs. Peppa Pig phone <<
  The head-to-head product comparison you NEED to
  read.
http://bit.ly/GKZ6Sl


  >> Marxwear <<
  The Father of Communism has never looked more
  marketable, than in these head-swapped fashion
  shots.
http://marxwear.tumblr.com/


  >> The sad boyfriends of Etsy <<
  Nice bit of social observation. Many Etsy
  stores are run by female crafters - stuck for
  models, they push their unenthusiastic
  boyfriends in front of the camera.
http://sadetsyboyfriends.tumblr.com/


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like really, really, really long GIFs

  >> Game of Thrones as Judd Apatow comedy <<
  Eddie Stark's job is to get Medieval Land Fun
  Time World up and ready for its grand opening.
  But his co-workers are such losers and misfits.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082420/


  >> Superheroes without superpowers <<
  Just why do the Avengers let the non-powered
  heroes tag along on missions? All is revealed.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082187/


  >> Dennis Skinner storms PM's Questions <<
  One to make you angry, as Dennis Skinner MP
  launches a searing attack on ATOS and the DWP,
  for leaving a terminally-ill man without
  benefits for a year.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1082374/


   >> Rats, doing tricks <<
  They may be basically incontinent vermin who
  like to die in your wall cavities, but rats are
  plenty clever, agile and dexterous enough to
  train for daring jewel thefts.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Rats_doing_tricks


  >> Peter Serafinowicz sings Morrissey autobiography <<
  The best comment we've seen so far on the great
  man's recently-published memoir.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49lPGmnYDw4


  >> Cake-O-Matic <<
  Hungry engineer bravely harnesses the power of
  the internal combustion engine to throw cake at
  his face with great velocity. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lft51kJdDxc


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Reverse Challenge

  Last week we wanted you to show everything 
  backwards.

  Your favourites included:
 
  * IN-JOKE: artful rodent paints buxom
  warrior weirdo (Tribs)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019230
 
  * IN-JOKE: young wrestler monitors skyline
  development with anticipation (Sorbus)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019641
  
  * IN-JOKE: wild canine finds great 
  pleasure in t-shirt splendour (HappyToast)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11019213

  All these images, and the highest as voted by
  you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/reverse/


  >> New challenge: Chickens! <<
  The humble chicken is one of the most 
  popular meals across the globe, but it's 
  never been celebrated with its own b3ta 
  image challenge. This week, we're putting 
  that right. Chickens. Go mental
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/chickens


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * NICE WEATHER INSURANCE - who'll insure us
    against the consequences of not going to work
   'cos it's lovely and sunny out?
  
  * DONUTS ON A STICK - wait, you can already get
    those?
  
  * INKJET WALL PRINTERS - because wallpaper is
    too hard.

  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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    Sub:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Snub:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by 
  Fork, Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver,
  Beau Bo d'Or, robneymcplum, PhillieJoe,
  SnowyTheRabbit and sinisterduck.
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  Subjlols via NoStrings.
  
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: TOP TIP:
  Get an exclusive preview of the latest Coldplay
  song by listening to any of Coldplay's previous
  songs.

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