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NEWSLETTER: WHAT IS LUNCH? BABY DON'T HURT ME

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This Week:
* YOUTUBE - Changes explained
* BOOZE - with motivational quotes
* HASSELHOFF - sings Fresh Prince

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____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |   "Que?"     
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B3ta email 606  - 8 Nov 2013

Read this newsletter with a wry smile 
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue606 

   Big :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
 Unbig : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: BUY METHS ON AMAZON
  The drink of Trampions (sponsored link)
  
  Yeah yeah buy some meths, you probably don't
  want to, but you might enjoy the stupid reviews.
  
  "I had been on a couple of dates with a girl
  from the office, and I must admit I was
  starting to grow quite fond of her. She invited
  me round to her place for dinner and I was very
  keen to make the right impression. You know how
  it is when you start to fancy somebody - there
  is a tendency to over-analyze every little
  thing so I was really struggling to choose an
  appropriate bottle to bring to the dinner date."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B0041WAY1I/b3ta-21 
  

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  >> YouTube changes explained <<
  "In case you've been on YouTube today and are
  confused," writes somegreybloke, with a video
  to explain ALL of YouTube's recent changes.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1093923/


  >> Internet-enabled Guy Fawkes <<
  "Remember remember the 5th of November,
  Gunpowder, Hackers and Cops," sings HappyToast,
  with this homage to the original Anonymous mask
  face man.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1092596


  >> LOLACABANA <<
  "Two amazing tunes but even better," brags
  tickle of this seamless mashup. Seamless.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/LOLACABANA


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: USVSTH3M
  The other b3ta-ish project

  * THE NORTH-O-METER - rate your position in
  England with our almost uncannily-accurate test.
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/north-o-meter/


  * WRONGA.COM - drag the sliders for an instant
  quote.
http://toys.usvsth3m.com/wronga/


  * 23 THINGS SINGLE MEN DO WHEN LIVING ON THEIR
  OWN BEFORE WOMEN CIVILISE THEM - we did a
  'listicle'. Apparently they're popular now.
http://usvsth3m.com/post/66274933685/


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Fancy Dress Failures Pt 2
 
  We wanted more of your dressing-up disasters.
  Luckily the Daily Mail hasn't noticed some
  of your answers yet:
http://b3ta.com/questions/fancydress2/

  * ASTHMA - "I went to a classmate's tenth
  birthday fancy dress party. Managed to ruin the
  party by causing her to have a panic-induced
  asthma attack. How was I supposed to know she
  was terrified of clowns?" (Smash Monkey)
 
  * PANDA - "I dressed as a panda for a fancy
  dress party, but it turned out the hosts had
  been too lazy to bother, and too lazy to spread
  the word thoroughly. I was a panda, my sister
  was dressed as an 80s chick and her boyfriend
  was Max from Where the Wild Things Are. In a
  homemade costume sewn from towels, with a crown
  and non-removable mittens. He could hardly hold
  a drink in those mis-stitched mitts, let alone
  eat or hygienically use the toilet. I even took
  my own bamboo. I went home early." (sleepybinky)
 
  * HARMLESS - "A friend of mine was born without
  arms, just long fingery things. So he dressed up
  as an industrial accident. Construction worker
  clothing and a hard hat, shorten and shred the
  sleeves and soak them in fake blood. Very hard
  to see his fingery things in under all that mess
  as they extend no more than 30cm or so from his
  shoulders. Costume was indeed a bad taste hit
  and pretty convincing. How convincing? A bit
  pissed, he was wobbling home when a passing
  ambulance screeched to a halt and some rather
  alarmed paramedics mobbed him. As he was a bit
  pissed it took him a while to explain that it is
  perfectly OK for him to be getting about without
  arms and that he was not "merely in shock."
  (xixax)


  >> This Week - THEFT <<
  Ever stolen something? Own up to the B3ta
  Police. Ever been the victim of theft? Grass
  somebody up. It's what they would have wanted.
http://b3ta.com/questions/theft/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> Unsafe Password Generator <<
  Ideal for generating easily-memorable
  passwords, such as abcd1234, 123456, 4128,
  butthead, dirty, angela, nascar, dolphin,
  computer, or asdfgh.
http://unsafe-passwords.com/


  >> Which side of the road does this country drive? <<
  Interactive toy illustrating whether to drive
  on the left or the right. Tip: if the country
  was part of the British Empire when cars became
  popular then the answer is probably left.
http://whatsideoftheroad.com/


  >> Motivational text on pictures of booze <<
  Hats off to whoever originated this awesome,
  terrible thing. Inspirational fitness quotes,
  superimposed on pictures of alcohol. 
http://goo.gl/Wwsf5u


  >> Listen to multi-tracks of favourite songs <<
  Multitrack Love lets you separate out the bass
  / drums / guitars / vocal when listening to a
  handful of songs including Nirvana’s Smells
  Like Teen Spirit and REM’s Losing My Religion.
  How is this witchcraft possible?
http://blog.zanorg.com/index.php?perm=545


  >> Something hidden in the desert <<
  Touching monument in memory of a crashed flight
  is visible on Google Earth.
http://goo.gl/fKlJmh


  >> What the Queen is really saying <<
  Captions helpfully shed light on the Queen's
  real, considerably less refined private persona.
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/WHvJi


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO

  >> The Hoff sings Fresh Prince <<
  You might think Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
  parodies are played out but you’ll enjoy David
  Hasselhoff’s performance of this.
http://vimeo.com/78343974


  >> Classic Paintings Animated <<
  Nicely-animated classic paintings. The pope
  firework is a highlight.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Classic_Paintings_Animated


  >> Mouse v Cracker <<
  Determined mouse will *not* give up, trying to
  lift a massive cracker onto a high level
  surface.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mouse_v_Cracker


  >> Microwave cooking set to sad music <<
  Everyday despair as a cooking show. Genius.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1091109


  >> Mileys Lunch Box <<
  Bad Lip Reading meets Northern pub-singing, in
  easily one of the best parodies of Wrecking
  Ball we've seen lately.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mileys_Lunch_Box


  >> 'What Is Love?' boat crash <<
  Party boat capsizing, looped and set to What Is
  Love? You don't need to watch beyond 0:40 but
  perhaps you'll want to, for the music.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/What_Is_Love_Boat_Crash


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Holleyweb Challenge

  Last week we wanted you to celebrate the
  glitz of the Hollywood Internet
  
  Your favourites included:
 
  * PIXAR: widower exchanges balloons for 
  1994 internet connection (monkeon)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11025661
 
  * ODYSSEY: monumental encounter with
  deep-space Goatse (1.618...)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11025230
  
  * CLINT: rogue detective turns to search 
  engine for assistance (barryheadwould)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/11025363
  
  All these images, and the highest as voted by
  you can be found here:
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/hollywood-internet/


  >> New challenge: Mobile Phones in History <<
  This week's herculean task is to 
  demonstrate, using webskillz, how the 
  presence of mobile phones might have 
  altered great moments in history. 
  Challenge suggested by Dr.Dunno.
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/mobile-history/


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include:

  * A CHEESE THAT'S ALREADY TOASTED - to save
  valuable time.

  * A REALLY GOOD THUNDERSTORM - we're on the
  19th floor and it would look amazing from up
  here.

  * A HOLIDAY between Bonfire Night and
  Christmas. That's fricking ages, man. It's
  bullshit.


  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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    Elephant:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Seal:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by
  UltimateMonkey, Ghoti Fingers,
  TownsendsPublisher, Wildyles, Leemondus,
  nocturne72, Stew & Dumplings.
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.

  
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  TOP TIP:
  Lots of them - look here:
http://www.b3ta.com/questions/toptips/

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