we love the web
email us
NEWSLETTER: MINECRAFT HOLMES

next issue »
« previous issue

This Week:
* CHIMPS - Constantly-mutating rampage
* GOAT - Simulator game
* RETRO - Which 8-bit computer are you?

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're still doing
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   web lols... 
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     together"

B3ta email 618  - 7 Feb 2014

Read this issue whilst thinking about doge:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue618 

   Fun : b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Bums : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
  Michael Gove: Everything I know about teaching

  Yeah you can probably guess, this book is just
  fucking blank. Still, it's got your shitty,
  "funny reviews" that the internet loves. E.g "I
  am currently reading it onto audiobook format,
  so you can enjoy 8 hours of Gove's brilliance
  even as you drive."
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/1492912417/b3ta-21 
  

  >> Sponsor B3ta <<
  Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  >> Cyriak's ever-mutating chimps <<
  "Ugly hairy mutating bastards that they are,"
  writes Cyriak, who is more of a fan of New
  World primates such as the marmoset. This video
  is not for those of a nervous disposition.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/I_made_a_video_about_chimps


  >> The Artistic Genius <<
  "Gustav shows us the inner workings of his
  artistic journey," explains oliputland. His
  animated outpourings say a lot about the art
  market.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Artistic_Genius


  >> The URL Parameters Quiz <<
  "I spent all day making a quiz for geeks,"
  pipes Spacefish. "Maybe it will raise a chuckle
  for one of you." We scored 45% but reckon we
  could have got higher if we tried.
http://www.glastonbridge.co.uk/games/urlquiz/


-------------------------------------------------

: USVSTH3M BOLLOCKS
  The other thingie bob we're involved in

  * Which 8-bit computer you are? Spectrum, C64,
  BBC or Amstrad? 
http://games.usvsth3m.com/which-8-bit-computer-are-you/


  * The Internet Proficiency Test - Should you
  even be allowed a WiFi connection?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/internet-proficiency-test/


  * How Facebook-Obsessed Are You? - Find out now!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-facebook-obsessed-are-you/


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * How In-App Purchases Have Destroyed The
  Mobile Gaming Industry
http://goo.gl/jBUIi4

  * Online simulated Theremin - with added
  psychedelic effects
http://www.femurdesign.com/theremin/

  * Viz's scrounging bastards from the 1990s is
  weirdly predictive of the actual media now. We
  live in shitty times, friends.
http://oi42.tinypic.com/j7q5x2.jpg

  * Coke's Superbowl ad brings out the crayon
  eaters. Yuck.
http://goo.gl/0ysJAl

  * Clever printed ads. Because, essentially,
  clever kids go into advertising and do their
  clever shit for advertising people instead of
  art patrons.
http://goo.gl/iqmpOe


-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  
  * Supercut of wrestlers inhaling before
  bellowing testosterone. An accurate simulation
  of being fucked by a WWF guy. Maybe that's your
  thing, we won't judge.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/No_words


  * Animation School Dropout. Finally. Something
  weirder than Cyriak.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Animation_School_Dropout


  * Goat Simulator!  The best preview of a
  bullshit game you'll see this week.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Goat_simulator


  * Alternative fan-made Robocop remake - each
  contributor made a few seconds. Pretty mind
  blowing to watch. 
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Alternative_Robocop_remake


  * Extraordinary special effects from 1970s
  Doctor who. Literally, this is like some
  children playing with dinosaur toys. Poor Jon
  Pertwee is having to emote to this shit.
http://goo.gl/X0446t

  
  * Amazing fresh new HD footage of Felix
  Baumgartner's fall from space. Put on
  headphones and watch it fullscreen.
http://goo.gl/XtCmGh


-------------------------------------------------

: FUNNY NAME CORNER 
  Not funny or cornery but fuck it

  * BBC having fun with their captions:
http://goo.gl/OLRb9c


-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Stag and Hen Nights
  
  Last week we wanted your stag and hen night
  survivor stories. As most of them are long and
  involved, we've quoted some best bits below:
http://b3ta.com/questions/stagsandhens/

  * "Well folks, I can tell you that chugging half 
   a pint of vodka and tabasco does indeed destroy
   someone. It also destroys anything else within
   a spray radius of twelve feet. Comprehensively."
  
  * "OH SWEET JESUS I CAN SMELL IT IMMEDIATELY.
   IT'S LIKE I'VE OPENED THE ARK OF THE GARLIC
   FUCKING COVENANT. I AM BECOME DEATH."
  
  * "The owner immediately told us that he didn't
   have an alcohol license as he was a committed
   christian and didn't approve of drunkenness."

  * "I was a bit miffed at not being invited to
   a mate's stag party until I remembered that
   I'd slept with both his bride AND his sister."

  * "Why did you choose this shit hole hotel?"
   "Because REGAL is LAGER backwards"


  >> This Week - DODGY BOOZERS <<
  Tell us stories of the skankiest, craziest
  or down-right dangerous bars you've been to:
http://b3ta.com/questions/dodgyboozers/


-------------------------------------------------

    Yeah:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Nope:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by skeltonator, mutated
  monty, fred zeppelin, tarka_dall, Fadgebadger,
  Ya What and Extinct Jesus Dossier, chompedhomas,
  sinisterduck, Beh3moth and colmcq2.
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike
  Trinder is QOTW bloke. Subjlols via
  Top tip via GeordieJay.
  
-------------------------------------------------

  TOP TIP:
  Make tigers think they are normal-sized cats by
  throwing giant balls of string at them.

next issue »
« previous issue