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NEWSLETTER: SMEAGOL IN THE STREETS, GOLLUM IN THE SHEETS

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This Week:
* GAME OF THRONES - as Mousetrap
* 90s MEMES - The Internet Citizenship Test
* DATA - The most Spurious Correlations

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "Have the      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   clocks gone
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|  forward again?"

B3ta email 630  - 16 MAY 2014

Read these words on Saturday afternoon: 
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue630 

   Upsub :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Downsub : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  

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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  >> Mousetrap Game of Thrones <<
  "It had been bothering me," confesses
  brianftang, "So I put this together."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1176716


  >> War Worm <<
  "It's like War Horse," informs Pig Face Turnip.
  "But with a glow worm (which were apparently
  used by soldiers in WW1 trenches to light
  letters). Fact."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/War_Worm


  >> Oblivious <<
  "This is my daughter's final piece for her
  media btech coursework," writes Black Moon.
  "Give her some views, it'll make her happy."
  Warning: SLENDERMAN.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Oblivious


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: USVSTH3M
  We make these things and some of them are good

  * The Internet Citizenship Test - Think you
  know about the 90s internet? A real treat for
  old school b3tans who read the newsletter back
  in the day here.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/internet-citizenship-test/


  * What Does Your PIN Number Say About You? -
  Our numerologically-accurate and non-sinister
  game will leave you enlightened.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/what-does-your-pin-number-say-about-you/


  * Who’s Your Celebrity Birthday Double? - Tell
  us when you were born and we’ll work it out!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/your-celebrity-birthday-double/


  * Eurosong Generator - Still piing for
  Eurovision? Now you can live the magic forever.
  FOREVER! Muhahahahaha! What, are you still here?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/eurosong/


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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Jobs - Expectations vs Reality

  Nothing like starting a job to find out it's not
  quite what was sold to you at interview:
http://b3ta.com/questions/jobexpectation/


  * DECORATOR - "This is not my story, but I was
  there, so I feel I can tell it. After living in
  a shared house for some time, we were finally
  leaving. The landlord had decided to do some
  redecorating, and on our last day he turned up
  with his decorator.
  
  After going around the house and discussing all
  the things he wanted doing, with the decorator
  nodding and making notes, he then left to let
  him get on with it. As soon as the door closed,
  the decorator flipped his bucket over, sat down
  on it, took out an impressively large spliff
  and fired it up, then looked around at us and
  said: 'So. Any of you lot know anything about
  painting and decorating? 'Cos I fucking
  don't!'" (moon monkey)
 
 
  * POLICE - "Years ago, when I was at college in
  Hendon, it was all 'pillar of the community' and
  'chicks'll dig the uniform'. Not once did they
  mention that I might get punched by a nonce."
  (Joy Division Oven Gloves)


  * PAPERBOY - "Expectation: riding a chopper down
  a suburban street, throwing papers into people's
  mailboxes, trying not to smash their windows,
  then racing around a BMX track.
  
  Reality: Trudging around in the rain listening
  to S'Express on your walkman, taunting dogs
  through letterboxes and trying not to get
  fingered by old men in dressing gowns."
  (browser)


  >> This Week: NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCES II <<
  Missed death and destruction by the slightest of
  margins? Walked away with only soiled undies?
  Tell us about your brush with death:
http://b3ta.com/questions/neardeathexperiences2/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> Spurious things that correlate <<
  Amazing collection of data that form a
  similar-shaped graph with no obvious link
  between them. For example: Age of Miss America,
  graphed against number of people murdered with
  steam and hot objects.
http://tylervigen.com/


  >> Mynoise.net - Ambient noise generator <<
  Choose a style of ambient noise then fuck about
  with the sliders to create a perfect background
  sound. You will not regret it. Unless you want
  to dance.
http://mynoise.net/noiseMachines.php


  >> BBC Micro Elite. In your browser. <<
  Cult space trading game Elite, in the comfort
  and convenience of your favourite browser
  window? You're welcome.
http://bbc.godbolt.org/?disc=elite.ssd&autoboot


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO

  >> Exorcism goes... unexpectedly <<
  Shenanigans, as the evil spirits are on their
  way to being cast out.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/African_Exorcism_goes_unexpectedly


>> Alternate Ending to Tyrion's speech <<
  If you like Game of Thrones you will probably
  like this, but you might also like a minor
  (spoilers) alert too.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Game_of_Thrones_LOLZ


  >> Dancing bats <<
  This is all of the lovely. If we had just one
  wish? A million more wishes. But the wish after
  that would be for more of this.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Dancing_bats


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the First versions challenge

  Last week we wanted you to show us the 
  early prototypes of everyday objects.
  Your favourites included:
 
  * SPECTRUM: Everything a home computer
  programmer could ever need (brown-wings)
http://b3ta.com/board/11076866

  * CERN: The original design scientists used to
  trap the mouse particle (DrCJBoduma)
http://b3ta.com/board/11077067
  
  * PHOTOSHOP: Early photo manipulation, so good
  you’d think it was real (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11077687

  All these images, and so many more 
  can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/First-versions/


  >> New challenge: Comedy History <<
  This week's image challenge is to show us
  the history of comedy. The birth of lols
  and the stuff people laughed at before Fail vids.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/comedyhistory/


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  WHAT HAPPENED NEXT:

  * SINGLE-USE PLASTIC - "My blog started off as
  a 40-day challenge where myself and a friend
  gave up plastic for lent," explains
  skeltonator. "You guys newslettered it, but it
  continues beyond that and I thought you might
  be interested to see how it's going. Thank-you."
http://singleuseplastic.co.uk/blog/


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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with
  David Stevenson. Stuff sent in by sinisterduck,
  RompaStompa, teh_raab, barryheadwound,
  h3donist and evil_andy.
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.

  
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  TOP TIP:
  Send nice emails to yourself to make up for the
  shit you usually get. (RebelWithoutApplause)

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