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NEWSLETTER: "WE'RE ON TWITTER. FOLLOW US AT @B3TA NOW!"

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"We're on Twitter. Follow us at @b3ta NOW!"
This Week:
* TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta
* TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta
* TWITTER - Follow us at @b3ta

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving the  
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   gifs together...
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     that's the plan"

B3ta email 634  - 20 Jun 2014

Read this on Google glass:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue634 

   Lovers :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Shovers : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com
  
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: SPONSORED LINK (Blimey! We sold an ad!)
  Game: Sponsored Island
  
  Dan Hall writes, "Improbable Island is an
  old-school multiplayer text adventure where you
  can teach a robot to love, detect and manipulate
  luck as though it were electricity, and ride a
  naked 70-year-old man around like a horse.  Also
  you can get eaten by lions."
http://www.improbableisland.com


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: NEWS BIT - stuff to tell you

  * Recovering old images from B3tards and other
  sources - we're working on a script that gets
  stuff from Archive.org and repopulates old
  posts. We reckon we'll be able to get back about
  50% or so of old posts. Yay. 

  * Sorry for lack of newsletter last week, your
  editor Rob was busy and Dave was in Vietnam
  breaking his leg. Soz.

  * We're going great guns on the @b3ta Twitter
  account, tweeting old gold and the latest
  images. Make sure you join in.
https://twitter.com/b3ta


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  >> An hour of birds, all at once.. <<
  Poochen writes, "These are all the birds that
  flew past my window in an hour, all together at
  once."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/An_hour_of_birds_all_at_once


  >> Sir Ian's tribute to Alan B'stard <<
  Natt, "Ian & I say goodbye."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sir_Ians_tribute_to_Alan_Bstard


  >> Ghostbusters: Vol. 3 [official trailer HD] <<
  Leehardcastle writes, "It's the real
  ghostbusters in tune to the Tarantino universe,
  guest VO from a hero of mine... Adam Buxton,
  don't ask how or why, just accept Adam Buxton is
  a very nice chap."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Ghostbusters_Vol_3_official_trailer_HD


  >> Cooking with Tampax <<
  Colmcq2 writes, "...because NO ONE has tried
  this so I figured I would."
http://myfoodeeblog.com/2014/06/15/tampax/


  >> A tool to create fake Facebook quiz results <<
  Gabboid writes, "Confuse your FB friends with
  weird answers to fake quizzzes."
http://dontmakemeangry.com/which/


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: USVSTH3M - RECENT GOOD SHIT
  The other B3taish project we run 

  * Gender Switch Your Name - What would your
  parents have called you if you were born the
  opposite gender?
http://games.usvsth3m.com/gender-switch-your-name/
  
  * Who Should Your Second Team Be? - Were all
  rooting for England, but maybe its time to pick
  a back-up
http://games.usvsth3m.com/your-second-team/
  
  * Who's Your Inner Football God? - Showman, hard
  man or gentleman? Get matced with a soccer
  legend.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/who-is-your-inner-football-god/

  

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: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  Fantasists

  We had a really cool story for this one, but
  it's been optioned by a Hollywood studio and
  they said we couldn't tell anyone or the CIA
  would kidnap us and take us to their underground
  base:
http://b3ta.com/questions/fantasists/

  * CYBORG - "I had a friend at school obsessed
  with Terminator 2. I remember him forcing me to
  watch as some tiny injury he'd suffered healed
  at a rate "FASTER THAN A NORMAL HUMAN"
  Unfortunately he decided he was a cyborg. Under
  this particular misapprehension, he got into a
  fight with another kid. What should have been a
  brief albeit exciting playground tussle was
  instead the excruciating sight of this utter
  nobhead walking with robotic determination
  towards his opponent while maintaining a blank
  expression, hands by his side, Arnie on his
  mind, relying purely on the irresistible force
  of his metal endoskeleton to ensure victory.
  Naturally the lad he was fighting just punched
  him in the face repeatedly, leaving the rest of
  us to console a sobbing T800. The best bit?
  Through his tears, which he insisted were merely
  a symptom of a cold, he managed to choke a
  semi-impassive "I'll be back." (Wet-chinned bag
  shanker)
    
  * WEREWOLF - "Kelly was the girl in school
  everyone felt uncomfortable around, probably due
  to the smell. She came out with such utter shit
  in order to make herself more interesting, such
  as thefairies in her garden she'd caught, or the
  £20,000 she won in a beauty contest in America.
  If you called her on her lies, she'd report you
  to the headmaster and say you'd hit her. One
  day, she came in to school with 3 scratches down
  her left arm. When asked, she told us she'd been
  for a walk at midnight and been attacked by a
  werewolf. Unfortunately for her, her brother
  overheard her. "Pack it in, you little weirdo,"
  he said, "you did that yourself with the garden
  fork!" (Smash Monkey)

  * SPANG - "Once, I found a lump under my armpit.
  Fearing the worst, I went to the doctor to get
  it checked out. He pushed it and prodded it and
  said he didn't think it was anything too serious
  but that he would take biopsy. With a scalpel he
  made a little nick and it suddenly burst,
  sending orange fluid squirting out so fast the
  doctor couldn't move out of the way quick enough
  and some of it squirted right in his mouth. He
  tasted it, and then sighed with relief, stood up
  and said, "It's ok, there's nothing to worry
  about, it's just a Fanta cyst." (Fork. Who
  should be killed.)


  >> This Week: HECKLES II <<
  Adding a comments box to real life. Share your
  best and worst experiences with hecklers:
http://b3ta.com/questions/hecklesagain/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * A Florida woman was arrested in May for
  shooting a missile into a vehicle, and her name
  is so perfect! (as is her mug shot.)
http://snurl.com/2916ee0


  * An Insight Into The Music Biz And How It
  Works. Ex-member of 'The Orb' Kris Weston
  remembers his time with 'The Orb' with all the
  going's on with the other bods involved, also
  included are the various record companies and
  hangers on.
https://krisweston.com/index.php/rant/


  * Now we know where spiderman shoots his web
  from.
http://snurl.com/2916ef4

  * Chinese Translations gone a bit wrong. We like
  "Tiny grass is dreaming"
http://snurl.com/2916efz


  * CIA facial recognition software identifies pic
  of 'unknown woman' as Francis Bacon in drag.
http://snurl.com/2916eh5


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Non repeating animated gifs with sound

  * Dizzy Squirrel - Flabberghasted writes, "A
  bloke at a mates workplace put a rotational
  motor on the bird feeders..." Well if animal
  cruelty is your thing - why would you do this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl9sn_dipfI


  * Drummer attacked by flying disc doesn't miss a
  beat.
http://instagram.com/p/o8xRkkJzRi/


  * David Bowie & Mick Jagger without the music.
  Amazing.
http://b3ta.com/links/nae_noise


  * Ainsley Harriott. Christ, watch this. You wil
  explode.
http://b3ta.com/links/He_he_boi


  * Old women find escalator difficult.
http://b3ta.com/links/To_infinity_and_beyond:2


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from 'delete things from history' 

  Last week we asked you to erase things from
  the past, photoshopping things out of old 
  pictures and pondering on the consequences.
 
  Our favourites included:
 
  * THORNE: 27bslash6 reimagined with soviet
    lols (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11083535
 
  * ARMSTRONG: Classic helmet removal (augsav)
http://b3ta.com/board/11082892
  
  * LLOYD: Amazing bit of edit dodging
    animation (Rubber Dubya)
http://b3ta.com/board/11082702
  
  All these images, and your favourites 
  can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/deletehistory/

  *** Week before's challenge ***

  Results from the Infographic Challenge

  Two weeks ago asked you to create some fancy
  infographics, but without the limitations of
  boring facts and stuff we probably should know.
 
  Our favourites included:
 
  * BBC: Amazing stats on classic comedy
   (Captain Howdy)
http://b3ta.com/board/11081663
 
  * STAND UP: Everything you need to know
    about live lols (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11082119
  
  * MARMITE: The reasons why you love
    it or hate it (DinivanX)
http://b3ta.com/board/11081851
  
  All these images, and your favourites 
  can be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/fakeinfographics/


  >> New challenge: Invent an animal <<
  This weeks challenge is to play God and invent
  some new creatures. Head to your zoological
  drawing board and come up with some stuff that
  would make David Attenborough giggle.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/inventanimals/


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    Yeah:  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    No:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by SpanishFly,
  GloballyRelaxed, skullbuggery, Gratch, John
  Mytton, bonnie_prince_bob, Taramasalata.
  Image challenge by Fraser Lewry.
  Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.

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  LOOK. WE SOLD A FUCKING AD. CLICK THE FUCKER.
http://www.improbableisland.com

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