we love the web
email us
NEWSLETTER: "NO FPS FOR OVERSEAS B3TANS UNLESS THEY'VE PROVIDED 4 YEARS OF QUALITY PICS"

next issue »
« previous issue

This Week:
* ACID - George Osborne's 90s trip
* METH - Mesmeric face loops
* JAZZ - Musical hedgehog

-------------------------------------------------
________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We've picking our   
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   noses and finding
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|    bits of twigs"

B3ta email 644  - 28 Nov 2014

Read this issue on your iWatch, if battery lasts:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue644 

   Love us :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Shove us : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

: BUY T-SHIRTS FOR XMAS

  These guys have got you covered for funny
  T-shirt Christmas present solutions...
http://www.itiswhatitis.co.uk/
  

-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK

  >> George at work - 1990 mix <<
  We all saw George Osborne hungover in parliament
  the other day. HappyToast has remixed it to
  deliver the visuals it really needed. No vapour
  trails mind you.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/George_at_work_1990_mix


  >> Alan Sugar Drum Machine <<
  Approximately the same quality as his Amstrad
  devices. Thanks 'bill g christmas'
http://www.feckbags.com/sugardrum


-------------------------------------------------

: USVSTH3M STUFF
  Three bestest thing we think you should see

  * PERSONALITY QUIZ GENERATOR - Sick of
  personality quizzes? This generator will make
  you EVEN SICKER.
http://goo.gl/QG4Ko0


  * SUPER TORY BOY - Choose between David Cameron
  & George Osborne then SMASH THE POOR!
http://games.usvsth3m.com/super-tory-boy/


  * HOW OLD IS YOUR HEARING? - find out the true
  age of your poor lugholes. Or how filthy they
  are, of course.
http://games.usvsth3m.com/how-old-is-your-hearing/


-------------------------------------------------

: BEST STORY YOU'LL EVER READ ABOUT JIM DAVIDSON

  On set one day, the script called for Jim
  Davidsonís character to get punched by a minor
  character. The crew hated Davidson, so had a
  whip round and paid the visiting actor to
  actually punch Jim when the time came, instead
  of doing a pretend telly punch. This the young
  actor did.

  Davidson was so outraged he told the young actor
  he would use his clout to make sure the young
  man never acted again.

  The young actor in question was international
  movie star David Thewlis.
  
  Take from the 'London Sitcom Map'
http://goo.gl/1PdESq

-------------------------------------------------

  FACT: OVER 130,000 have clicked Like on the LSD
  Facebook page. Why?

-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  1. Use 'UKIPsum' to generate dummy copy for
  your website
  2. Very vaguely say 'lol' 
  3. Accidentally publish 
  4. Get fired
http://www.ukipsum.co.uk/


  * So someone has worked out how to sell one
  rubbish pair of socks for £7.99. The secret?
  Call them 'wanksocks'.
http://www.wanksock.com/


  *  A very funny and well done gif by Orbojunglist
http://giphy.com/gifs/ByUDWjce12r3q


  * BBC News 'insulation cock' - barryheadwound
  writes, "I need to lay off b3ta for a while if I
  giggle at this photo."
http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/business-30242073

  
  * Mesmeric meth face videoloops
http://www.rehabs.com/explore/faces-of-addiction/


  * The Debunking Handbook, a guide to debunking
  misinformation, is now freely available to
  download. 
http://goo.gl/oOe1SQ


-------------------------------------------------

: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  TV! But with more compression artefacts 

  * JAZZ HEDGEHOG - the cutest thing you'll see
  today and reminds us of the great piano work on
  Bowie's Aladdin Sane.
https://vine.co/v/Oe3n51x6UVB  


  * Conservative man defends Christmas from hordes
  of nonexistent threats
https://vine.co/v/O1Zg30M10uI


  * Surf-Rock version of 'My Lady Hunsdon's Puffe'
  by John Dowland. Housed writes, "I met John (the
  guitarist in the video) when my landlord sent
  him round to do some plumbing work for my flat,
  during which he mentioned to me that he makes
  videos. This is one of his finest."
http://goo.gl/pDdbJW


 * Amazingly classist news report. Old but gold.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Brilliantly_classist_news_report


 * Cat vs Xmas tree - who will win? 
http://goo.gl/3pq96J


  * Cats puking to techno. No cats were forced
  to  puke during the making of this video.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/CaC_puking_to_techno


-------------------------------------------------

  FUN FACT: There's an A. Crowley who writes for
  the Daily Telegraph. Hail Satan! 

------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Smoking' challenge

  Last week we asked you to try and make smoking 
  popular again.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * KARDASHIAN: turns out she does have a talent
  (Penultimate Straw)
http://b3ta.com/board/11112713

  * PICARD: Stressful business running a spaceship
  (Frogbeat)
http://b3ta.com/board/11112844
 
  * PICASSO: The weeping woman calms her nerves
  (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11110420

  All these images, and a couple more can be found
  here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/smokesandstuff/popular/


  >> New challenge: Art Damage <
  This week we're dealing with damaged art, from
  Cecilia Giménez's botched restoration of Ecce
  Homo to the Venus de Milo. Either damage the art
  yourself or fix a broken bit. 
http://b3ta.com/challenge/artdamage/


-------------------------------------------------

  FACT: If we ran Twitter backwards it would start
  with a vicious culture war, everyone screaming
  and not listening & end with happy geeks saying
  hi to each other.

-------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * Unshareable quizzes - how unconsciously racist
  are you?

  * More unshareable quizzes - what does your porn
  taste say about you?
  
  * Make a concept album imagining what a Thom
  Yorke solo album sounds like without ever
  listening to one. Call it "I Am A Fridge".
  
  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


-------------------------------------------------

    Join: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Leave: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

-------------------------------------------------

    Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard:
https://twitter.com/b3ta
  
-------------------------------------------------

  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by Frogbeat, Fluffster,
  wakeupandsmellthebacon, jonofthesouth, The Tramp
  Surveyor, Jimbotfu pissflaps. Image challenge by
  Fraser Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  Tip via just a vagabond.
  Subjlol via Tribs.

-------------------------------------------------

  TOP TIP:
  Attain carbon-neutral status by connecting your
  wanking arm to a dynamo that powers your
  smartphone when watching porn on it. 

next issue »
« previous issue