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NEWSLETTER: HAPPY BIRTHDAY MF DOOM

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This Week:
* RAND - Objectivist film reviews
* AUSTERITY - as a board game
* FRIENDS - all at the same time & place

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "Ever notice our
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   issue numbers have
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     started counting DOWN?"

B3ta email 648 - 9 Jan 2015

Listen to this issue via telegraph dots & dashes:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue648 

    Sub :  b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
   Snub : b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: SPONSORED LINK
  "I love Nigel Farage" Pillowcase
  
  With heavy regret we're suggesting you buy this
  horrible pillowcase, but imagine sleeping on
  it? Waking up next to that face? We reckon
  there's an article in that. WRITE IT!
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00K59FJ6Q/b3ta-21 

  Or perhaps Pat Butcher with her breasts exposed?
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00F4ZENO0/b3ta-21 


  >> Sponsor B3ta <<
  Want this space? Then talk to us.
http://b3ta.com/mailus/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
Crabs, dogs and 

  >> Crab Vs Goby <<
  "The struggles of my little hermit crab with a
  grumpy goby," writes stevierar. "I got a new
  camera, wanted to test it and am in a silly
  mood."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1261915/


  >> Back to work dog <<
  "Thought I'd let my dog describe the feeling,
  through the medium of 'dog'," groans
  DefyingDarwin
http://www.b3ta.com/links/so_its_back_to_work


  >> A trip through Mandy comic, 1972 <<
  Vintage comics specifically written for girls
  are an amazing way of looking back at social
  norms of the past. Who are the heroes? Who are
  the villains? Spoiler: Most of them are ponies.
  (Thanks to reviewer Ambegris)
http://goo.gl/pCfH0h


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: USVSTH3M STUFF
  It's politics this week
  
  * The 13 best insults tweeted to Labour - what
  a brilliant new vote-winning strategy: pissing
  off the entire arts community!
http://usvsth3m.com/post/the-13-best-insults-tweeted-to-labour-yesterday


  * Labour Party Press Team Tweet Generator -
  Need to rush our a weak-kneed rebuttal in a
  hurry? We've done the hard work for you.
http://community.usvsth3m.com/generator/labour-party-press-team-tweet-generator#


  * Jeremy Hunt's Realistic A&E Crisis Simulator
  - How long can you last before YOU'RE
  privatised?	
http://games.usvsth3m.com/jeremy-hunts-realistic-a-and-e-crisis-simulator/


  * Austerity! The board game - it's a more
  realistic version of Monopoly. Download, print
  and play!
http://usvsth3m.com/post/austerity-the-board-game


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  >> How many days in a week? <<
  Bodybuilders' guide to intellectual discussion
  and then it goes a bit downhill.
http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=107926751


  >> Nazi cows <<
  The Independent runs a story completely
  indistinguishable from The Onion - still,
  amazing headline. 
http://goo.gl/rhGRqO


  >> After One Year Of Atheism... <<
  Former Pastor: "I Don't Think God Exists"'
http://www.npr.org/2014/12/27/373298310/after-year-of-atheism-former-pastor-i-dont-think-god-exists


  >> Ayn Rand reviews films <<
  "Bambi: The biggest and the strongest are the
  fittest to rule. This is the way things have
  always been  four stars."
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-shouts/ayn-rand-reviews-childrens-movies 


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: BOOK REVIEW 
  Double penis man writes a book
  
  Last year 'Double Dick Dude' was interviewed on
  Reddit about having two penises. This story
  went huge and now there's a book - promoted on
  The BBC and all sorts of mainstream media
  organisations. So we read it and erm...

  We have to wonder how many of these people
  *actually* read it. There's some pretty fierce
  stuff to cover on, say, BBC Newsbeat. Not
  saying it's not interesting or entertaining, it
  is, but it's also hardly safe sex.

  He talks about sex with over 1,000 people
  without using protection and spends a long time
  describing how he enjoyed giving a woman a
  prolapse by penetrating her cervix. Anyway,
  strong stuff. Oh, and the fisting, and
  resulting rectal prolapse. 
  
  TLDR: Prolapse.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00R8A2HVK/b3ta-21 


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like TV but, you know, with buttons
  
  * 10 hours of a zooming fractal video. Might be
  useful if you haven't discovered MDMA yet.
http://youtu.be/u9VMfdG873E


  * Every episode of "Friends" sitcom - played
  all at once. On the same screen. Might be
  useful if you haven't discovered MDMA yet.
http://youtu.be/6MbJi0xtnEA


  * Magnificent strutting on the USS Enterprise.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/LETS_STRUT


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Starfish' challenge

  Last week we asked for your images of Asteroidea.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * WWF: A cheeky Panda reversal (inexpressible)
http://b3ta.com/board/11127239

  * CENSORS: sparing our seaside blushes (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11126486
 
  * ERIC AND ERN: bringing the sunshine (Dead
  Pixels)
http://b3ta.com/board/11126781
  
  All these images, and a load more can be found
  here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/starfish/popular/


  >> New challenge: Extract a character  <
  This week we want you to remove someone from a
  famous album cover or movie poster and put them
  in a new and chucklesome situation. 
http://b3ta.com/challenge/extractcharacters/


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  : WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?

  * Remember Dan Bull / B3tan Housewife? Turns out
  he's going through a really hard time at the
  moment. Get well soon, Dan!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1261979


------------------------------------------------

: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * MAKE SOME SEMIAQUATIC MAMMAL FIGURINES - give
    them away. Call it a 'pottery ottery lottery'
  
  * LENNON CHALLENGE - JOHN LENNON ONCE WANKED 9
    TIMES IN ONE DAY - we nominate YOU to beat him
    and upload the film to youtube OR give 50p to
    Amnesty.
  
  * PAUL WELLER BIOGRAPHIES - maybe call it 'Jammy
    Git'. The second autobiography should be called
    "Weller Weller Weller Ooh Tell Me More"

  Send contributions via the mail form.
http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.
  

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    NAY:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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    Follow @b3ta on Twitter and win a leopard:
    https://twitter.com/b3ta
  
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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by CharlieHebdo, A Rory
  Borealis, Mudface, tubaman, Jimbotfu, mr.dogshit
  & tubaman. Image challenge by Fraser Lewry. Mike
  Trinder is QOTW bloke.
  Top tip via Just a vagabond.
  
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  TOP TIP:
  Ensure people know you support a political cause
  by updating your Facebook status.

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