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NEWSLETTER: "HELLO? DOES ANYONE EVEN CHECK THEIR JUNK MAIL FOLDERS ANY MORE?"

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This Week:
* RUSSELL BRAND SIMULATOR - 'Nuff said
* PRISON - for trolls
* SPACE ODYSSEY - only crap

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're saving CB-Radio  
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |     ...together!"
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|   

B3ta email 654  - 6 March 2015

Read this on Apple Watch if you've got battery:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue654

  Sit on our face: b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
 Shit on our face: b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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: SPONSORED LINK (WELL, AFFILIATED) 
  So You've Been Publicly Shamed  by Jon Ronson

  Ronson has written a timely book on
  Twitterstorms, the public shaming of the mob.
  From villagers banging people out of the
  community to the self-righteous vigilantes that
  bring people down online for saying something
  out of turn, Ronson is writing what needs to be
  read now.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00NLFVN8E/b3ta-21 


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING RECENTLY 
  Other than looking at Twitter

  >> It's the Russell Brand Simulator <<
  Experience a day in the life of Britain's
  foremost revolutionary rabble-rousing rascal in
  this choose-your-own-adventure game. (via
  jimbobabu)
https://brandmoralquandary.wordpress.com/


  >> David Bowie in one minute, in one take <<
  "I made a thing about the life and times of
  David Bowie. Hope people like it!" writes 
  Cap'n, "It includes laughing gnomes and the
  Labyrinth crotch bulge."
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1275855


  >> "Frozen" Blood Test Scene <<
  Leehardcastle - the guy who puts the obscene
  into plasticine is back with something to upset
  the kids.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Frozen_Blood_Test_scene


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: FOLLOW @B3TA ON Twitter
  For images and newsletter links
  
  Frontpaged images now appear in the Twitter
  feed, it's actually really good. You should
  follow.
https://twitter.com/b3ta
  

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: WATCHING THIS ZOOM WILL MAKE YOU BUY A CAMERA
  Er... like /we've/ just done on a whim
  
  So watch this amazing pan back zoom,
  extraordinary yes?
https://gfycat.com/OblongFavoriteGiraffe

  It was made on a £200 camera without any
  special equipment.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00E0YFOKI/b3ta-21 


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: APOLOGIES FOR NO NEWSLETTER FOR TWO WEEKS
  Your B3ta editor Rob was busy with...
  
  * Last Friday attending the UKIP conference and
  writing about it.
http://goo.gl/5LWdo3


  * The week before it was The Story conference,
  so sorry about that. Normal service is
  now resumed.
http://thestory.org.uk/


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * THIS IS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO GO TO PRISON FOR
  TROLLING - In January 2014, two people were
  found guilty of sending rape and death-threats
  to feminist campaigner Caroline Criado-Perez,
  in the highest-profile online abuse case
  Britain has yet seen.
http://goo.gl/HPYwBl


  * WHAT IT'S LIKE TO WORK AT THE DAILY MAIL -
  guy who worked there spills the dirt. Surprise
  surprise, it sounds horrible.
http://goo.gl/8Jxjsj


  * IF YOU GO TO THE CINEMA ONCE A WEEK THEN SEE
  THIS - neat idea for a weekly email list. One
  cinema recommendation. Last three
  recommendations? It Follows, Still Alice and
  The Duke of Burgundy.
http://www.delveweekly.com/


  *  THE GARY GLITTER FANS WHO STILL LOVE HIM -
  Some seem pretty reasonable and just like the
  old music. One or two of them are, well,
  "interesting".
http://goo.gl/jlHyAR


  * LOVELY SEWING PATTERN GIFS - more of this please.
http://goo.gl/p6efbA


  * RAILWAY MODEL FIGURES OF PEOPLE DOING THE SEX
  - and ladies of the night. Endorsed by Top
  Gear dickhead James May of all people, "It's my
  kind of model shop."
http://goo.gl/lFwPFH


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Like YouTube but er... just like YouTube

  * AN AD THAT FINALLY RECOGNISES YOU'LL ONLY
  WATCH 5 SECONDS OF IT ON YOUTUBE - fuck knows
  what they're selling though and we don't care.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Advert


  * 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY, WITH THE PORTSMOUTH
  SINFONIA - fucking dreadful but amusing.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/1278295


  * THE BALLAD OF BILLY JOHN - "This had me in
  tears" writes miss fortunate.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/The_Ballad_of_Billy_John


  * JULIE ANDREWS SINGS DEATH METAL - a well-worn
  but pleasing concept.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Julie_Andrews_might_need_a_strepsil


  * WILDLIFE VIDEO - re-edited so you feel less
  bad about the death. Arguably comedy, arguably
  making a point about the power of labelling.  
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Mixed_emotions_Wildebeest_video


  * MAN CAUGHT GOING TO SEE 50 SHADES OF GREY -
  Yep, he doesn't look too happy to be on camera.
http://www.b3ta.com/links/50_Shades_Of_Shame


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: FRIDAY GAME(S)
  You remember web games right?
    
  * FRIGHTENING DROWNING GAME - we didn't enjoy
  this one bit. It's that good. Use scroll button
  to stay alive.
http://sortieenmer.com/?lang=en

  * LOCK AND KEY GAME - short and cute.
http://ncase.me/door/


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Stars of the past today' challenge

  Last week we asked what you thought dead celebs
  would be up to if they were alive today.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * Anne: Ceiling Frank is watching you. (Ninj)
http://b3ta.com/board/11137347

  * Diana: Working the publicity machine 
  (robneymcplum)
http://b3ta.com/board/11136901
 
  * Houdini: New media magician.
  (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11138177
  
  All these images, and a load more can
  be found here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/starspasttoday/

  >> New challenge: Combine classic art <<
  This week we’re raiding the art galleries
  and mashing up great masters. Pick two or
  more famous old paintings and stitch them
  together to create something new.

  Introduce Whistler's Mother to the Laughing
  Cavalier and sail Napoleon's fleet across
  the Hay Wain.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/combineoldart/


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE (THE OTHER TWO)
  
  * 'Film Spoonerisms' best image? 'The nazis and
  nuns never knew what hit them' (2pints)
http://b3ta.com/board/11136356


  * Best 'Animals at war' image? 'The Zebra navy
  never knew what hit it.' 
http://b3ta.com/board/11133991


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stuff.

  *  CYRIAK BEING CLEVER - this time about Madonna
  falling down on stage. SHE DID IT ON PURPOSE!
  SHE SO DID!
https://twitter.com/cyriakharris/status/570970156442230784


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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by barst,
  buffet_the_appetite_slayer, UltimateMonkey,
  SnowyTheWereRabbit, RompaStompa, lustreboy,
  tits, Fluffster, eViLegion, smaggers & The
  Accidental Troll. Image challenge by Fraser
  Lewry. Mike Trinder is QOTW bloke. Tip sandettie
  light vessel automatic. Subjlolz via Muns.

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  TOP TIP:
  Save money on joining an expensive running club
  by hanging around outside for them to come out
  and then just run after them.
  
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: FOLLOW @B3TA ON TWITTER
  Go on. Do it now.
https://twitter.com/b3ta


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