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NEWSLETTER: "NEWSLETTER 664?! WE DEMAND A RECOUNT!"

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"NEWSLETTER 664?! WE DEMAND A RECOUNT!"
This Week:
* SNOPES - B3ta's special mention! Yay!
* BOOK - How I Created Katie Hopkins by Adolf Hitler
* FRIDAY GAME - it returns!

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're shaving the yak,
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   together & always,
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     since 2001"

B3ta email 664  - 15 April 2015

Read this issue whilst using helium responsibly:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue664

Friend b3ta on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan

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: SPONSORED LINK
  Primus - Live 
  
  What the heck are Primus Songs about? Ahead of
  their June dates in London, Manchester and
  Birmingham, Les Claypool talks in his own words
  about some of their biggests tracks...
  Southpark, Tommy The Cat, Wynona's Big Brown
  Beaver.
http://bit.ly/go-on-go-to-a-gig-get-out-man


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Other than cooking up delicious crack

  >> P.C. hipsta <<
  Did you catch the #HipsterCop thing on Twitter -
  essential a policeman with a very fashionable
  beard was photographed at an anti-austerity
  protest. Driverchris was quick-thinking enough
  to turn the whole thing into a fantastic tumblr
  cartoon: this is the fuzz that doesn't want to
  harsh your buzz.
http://pchipsta.tumblr.com/


  >> How I Created Katie Hopkins by Adolf Hitler << 
  An extraordinary short book has been written by
  Barry Sausages and for three days he's given you
  an exclusive offer. You can download it for free
  (on Sat or Sun) on Amazon for your Kindle app.
  Worth looking at for the superb cover alone.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/B00XLR2Z1Q/b3ta-21


  >> Nile Rodgers & Stephen Hawkings Collaborate <<
  Giveover7 writes, "Stephen Hawking at
  Glastonbury Festival? Leaked photos of him and
  Nile Rodgers in the studio? You guessed it! The
  two legends of music and brainy stuff have
  teamed up to make the sure-fire album of the
  year. Here is the never-before-seen TV advert
  for the upcoming Nile & Steve duets album,
  released summer 2015."
https://youtu.be/EjL2MF_nKg8


  >> Sir Ian Bowler on the election <<
  The wonderful and very sexy @natt doing his take
  on the election. 
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Sir_Ian_Bowler_on_the_election


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: BLAST FROM THE PAST
  Old b3ta image has made it onto Snopes
  
  Loving this detailed and oh-so-serious debunking
  of 2009 image from our site, and what's more, it
  really shows the work that goes into some of the
  B3ta photoshops. It's a tribute to us all.
http://www.snopes.com/disney/films/mickeycheese.asp


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the 'Bad Advice' challenge

  Last week we asked to see examples of terrible
  advice, be it movie nonsense or rubbish your
  parents told you.
 
  Your favourites included:

  * Glass: Vent frustration here. (HappyToast)
http://b3ta.com/board/11149211

  * Gardening: terrible advice from the strangely
  familiar old man. (monkeon)
http://b3ta.com/board/11150155

  * Assembly: ill conceived get together.
  (inexpressible)
http://b3ta.com/board/11149205
  
  All these images, and a load more can be found
  here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/badadvice/

 
  >> New challenge: Fingers <<
  We really want to see those fingers. Show us
  your digits, your chocolate fingers, fish
  fingers and sponge lady fingers, craft
  plasticine models with your own hands or send us
  your finger paintings.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/fingers/


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FRIEND B3TA ON FACEBOOK

We're net survivalists bunkering down for the
webpocalpse where the only thing with traffic
power is Facebook. Might happen, might not, but FB
is the 1,000 pound gollira in the room eating
everyone's lunch of mixed mataphors.

'Instant Articles' are the latest thing to make
the publishing industry panic, but if we're
honest, we'd love a play producing them but only a
handful of high profile partners have been
selected to have a go. BOO!

Interesting times we live in, interesting times.

But in the meantime make sure you friend us as
that's where we generally stick breaking news so
you'll get things earlier than the newsletter. And
the odd suspicious looking sausage.
http://facebook.com/b3tan


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: SITES IN BRIEF
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates

  * TYPING DRUM MACHINE - This sound toy is
  awesome and innovative. Type a word and it turns
  it into a 'sick beat'. 50p says that you end up
  typing swears into the thing. You naughty
  sausages, you!
http://typedrummer.com/


  * THIS STORY WILL MAKE YOU CRY -  an interview
  with Big Bird that make us well-up the
  sentimental tears of the truly hard-hearted.
http://bit.ly/sobby-sobby-tears-tears/


  * SATIRE! A complete list of all scientists who
  have become creationists after studying the
  evidence.
http://bit.ly/richard-dawkins-says-megalolz


  * SEX AND PROPAGANDA - a fascinting collection
  of WW2 propaganda. You will click. You will
  enjoy, comrade.
http://www.psywarrior.com/sexandprop2.html


  * MASSIVE RESOURCE OF FUTURE PREDICTIONS -
  always good fun this stuff. 
http://paleofuture.com/


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: GOODBYE USVSTH3M *SOB*
  Our sister project is no more
  
  Lots we could write about this but now is not
  the time, but your B3ta editor is pleased that
  the final bit of editorial work he did was to
  encourage his colleagues to add a wig to the
  'Slap Michael Gove' toy after a barrister got in
  touch with that very request. So together, let's
  slap Michael Gove, for one last time! (Current
  count: about 45 Million slaps - we're proud of
  you Britain.)
http://games.usvsth3m.com/slap-michael-gove/


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JOIN B3TA ON TWITTER

You know the score. This is the bit of the
newsletter where we tell you to follow B3ta on
Twitter. For your click you'll get front paged
images, the odd link and a reminder once a week to
read a newsletter. GOD THAT SOUNDS DULL. It's not!
It's fucking fantastic.
https://twitter.com/b3ta


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: VIDEO SCHMIDEO
  Insert 'animated gif with sound' joke here
  
  * BBC CUNTY LOLS - did a BBC reporter just
  accidentally call Nigel Farage and the UK
  Independence Party (UKIP) a "c**t" live on air?
  HELL YES! It's about 25 seconds in.
http://bit.ly/worth-paying-license-fee-twice-for


  * GAMESHOW - watch two women blow into a tube
  with a cockroach in it. What a time we live in
  that you can watch this on your computer.
http://gfycat.com/FinishedScratchyFoxhound


  * DAVID CAMERON DOES A SPIDEY STRUT - artifus
  writes, "Having just claimed a majority
  government and after recently seeing Spider-Man
  3, David Cameron decides he has only one thing
  left to do... Strut!"
http://www.b3ta.com/links/David_Cameron_does_the_Spidey_Strut


  * SHIT FLOWS DOWN, MAAN - This just about sums
  up everything about life.
http://bit.ly/official-b3ta-management-techniques


  * LEROY JENKINS IS TEN - remember this classic
  meme? OLD MEMES! WE'RE ALL OLD NOW!
http://www.b3ta.com/links/Leroy_Jenkins_is_10


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: FRIDAY GAME
  Don't click this link if you value work
  
  Cute numbers game that's a bit like the
  time-sucking hit 2048. The link goes to a web
  version but there is also a mobile app
  available. Kept us clicking for a good twenty
  minutes then we remembered we had a newsletter
  to write. (Also like 2048, we wonder if it could
  be remade with gif uploads.)
http://twenty.frenchguys.net/


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: FUNNY NAME CORNER
  Rude Toy Story card
  
  * Iowaseven says, "I live out in the colonies,
  and found this card for sale. It's an official
  Hallmark/Pixar product, and I don't think it's
  for sale in the UK..."
http://i.imgur.com/r9S7IgI.jpg


  * Naming a road after a local historian doesn't
  sound controversial but...
http://bit.ly/yeah-not-the-best-local-council-idea


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories

  * CAR CRASH VIDEO - samgrimmett writes, "A few
  years ago you featured my mate's video in the
  newsletter. It was about seatbelt safety and
  ended up going viral and winning "YouTube Ad of
  the Year" as well as a Bronze Lion at Cannes.
  First of all - thank you for helping with that!
  It was so great that the vid hit such a nerve
  and (hopefully) changed some habits. Second of
  all, he's made a new thing. This time it's about
  car seats (but with a similar emotive twist) and
  I know many of us B3tans are of the age now (or
  past it, cough cough...) where we might be
  interested in such a thing."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym6cVcvA4K0


  * PISS STORIES - CapnChkn helpfully informs us,
  "Urine is an excellent fertilizer.  I can tell
  you from personal experience it will burn your
  plants, as it's chemically rich in Nitrogen. 
  Sterile directly from a healthy bladder, it
  needs to be diluted 10:1 with water, and is
  perfectly acceptable to use directly in your
  garden!" Thanks dude! Happy piss-time!


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: GOATS
  Yep, it's a bonus image challeneg. Huzzah!

  Last week we had an extra image challenge
  to celebrate the wonder that is the goat.
  Why? because we can.
  
  You can see the goats in all their glory here:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/goats/


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    Friends:     b3ta-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
    Bastards:  b3ta-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com

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  THANKS:
  This issue was written by Rob Manuel with David
  Stevenson. Stuff sent in by colmcq2 Fluffster,
  tits, monkeyboyalpha, notoolsovernight, Chicken
  rhythm, Fluffster & zacherynuk.
  Image challenge by Happy Toast.
  
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'Frenemy' b3ta on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan
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  TOP TIP:
  Lose weight by eating less and exercising

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