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"Fake newsletter! Sad!"
This Week:
* THERESA MAT BOT - Better than the real thing
* SURVEY RESULTS - Why people unfriend on Facebook?
* JOHN NOAKES - Photoshop tributes

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ | "We're refreshing
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |   the share attachment
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|     ... together"

B3ta email 675 - 02 Jun 2017

Read this issue to your mum, she'll like it:
http://b3ta.com/blog/issue675

Friend b3ta on Facebook: 
https://www.facebook.com/b3tan

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
  HebTroCo - British Made To Last

  Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out
  of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life. 

  Ed and brant went to the pub and even though
  they had no previous experience, they somehow
  decided to start a trouser company. They
  launched on Kickstarter and sold 176 pairs of
  trousers in five hours. That was about a year
  and a bit ago, and they've now got British made
  boots and belts and lots of different trousers
  too.  
https://www.facebook.com/hebtroco
http://www.hebtro.co

  BTW: These guys are old B3tans who've been
  reading the site for years. Have a look at their
  trousers. Go on.

-------------------------------------------------

: THERESA MAY BOT 2.0

  So Theresa is hiding from the media and the
  public because she's frankly not very good at
  public engagement and also needs to spend her
  time thinking about Brexit.

  So we thought we'd make a bot to speak FOR her.
  Any media outlets who need an interview then
  just get on Twitter and chat to her. Job done.
https://twitter.com/theresa_may_bot


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: TRIVIAL REASONS FOR UNFRIENDING ON SOCIAL MEDIA
  A survey of you lot

  We asked you to tell us reasons you unfollowed
  people on social media. 250 of you answered and
  we picked the best.

  * "Seemed appropriate after the divorce"
  * "You won't see this in the MSM, but.."
  * "They had a smug username"
  * "Having a harry potter themed wedding"
  * "Too many tweets about Porcupine Tree"
  
  Read them all:
http://b3ta.com/blog/unfriending-people-for-trivial-reasons/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN DOING THIS WEEK
  Other than making sweet sweet linky love

	* DAVID 'SALAD FINGERS' FIRTH'S LATEST - it's
	called 'Cream' and it's great.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UgiJPnwtQU& 


  * HOLLYWOOD MOVIES, IN A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT -
  DefyingDarwin writes, "Look at my shiny sweaty
  face... I have hayfever, I can't go outside, I
  AM BORED... I found a list of movie quotes... I
  can do a passable west country accent: this is
  the sum of all those things!"
http://b3ta.com/links/1442610


  * KERMODE AND MAYO TO DO THE CLASSIC B3TA QUO -
  DinivanX writes, "Yas! I Got Kermode and Mayo to
  Do the Classic B3ta Quo Pose"
http://b3ta.com/links/1442391

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: LISTEN TO ASHENS PODCAST
  
  Old B3tan Ashen is now a super popular youtuber
  with 1.2 million subs. Wow. Anyway his latest
  project is a podcast. He writes, "There's
  nothing more depressing than watching a bad
  sequel to a film you love. Allow the Sequelisers
  to alleviate your pain - it's a fun podcast
  where two teams pitch ideas for fixing bad
  sequels to good movies."
https://www.sequelisers.com


-------------------------------------------------

: ROGER MOORE GIF TRIBUTE

  This hearse doing a corkscrew jump is the
  animated gif tribute to Roger Moore you were
  waiting to see, such a short little thing but
  absolutely perfect - we've been watching it on a
  loop
http://b3ta.com/blog/hearse-corkscrew-jump/


-------------------------------------------------

: THREE B3TA PHOTOSHOPS TO REMEMBER JOHN NOAKES 

  * The B3tans have been paying tribute to the
  sadly departed John Noakes and it's making us
  emotional
http://b3ta.com/blog/three-best-b3ta-photoshops-to-remember-john-noakes-by/


-------------------------------------------------

: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEETELS DR PEPPER

  * 50 this week and old B3tan Chris Shaw has bee
  researching all the pics that made the ciover.
 http://sgtpepperphotos.wordpress.com  #SgtPepper50

  * BONUS: Paul chats up a photographer at the Sgt
  Pepper launch party. Linda Eastman later became
  Mrs McCartney.
https://twitter.com/ChrisShawEditor/status/870182112497987584


-------------------------------------------------

: PLEASED TO GET A SHOUT OUT FROM TOM WATSON 
  Deputy Leader of Labout calls b3ta "old"
  
  "Good old b3ta. Genius, as ever." writes Tom
  Watson MP.
https://twitter.com/tom_watson/status/869957969097535490


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF
  You know... links

  * STRONG HEADLINE WORK FROM @LRB - "Who's the
  real cunt? by Andrew O'Hagan" - on The Daily
  Mail and Paul Dacre.
https://www.lrb.co.uk/v39/n11/andrew-ohagan/whos-the-real-cunt

  * PICTURES OF OLD ROBOTS FROM THE 20s-30s,
  featuring pictures and video of old time robots,
  not in English but it doesn't matter.
https://www.ecofuture.cz/clanek/retro-pohled-do-dob-kdy-roboti-umeli-mluvit-kourit-nebo-hrat-golf 

  * "BACK TAE THE FUTURE" - Back to the Future
  reimagined in Scottish.
https://twitter.com/BackTaeTheToon 

  * "TAINTED BUFFET AT JACKSONVILLE STRIP CLUB
  BLAMED AFTER SEVERE DIARRHEA INCIDENT ON STAGE"
  - our second headline of the week after the cunt
  one.
http://www.borderherald.com/tainted-buffet-jacksonville-strip-club-blamed-severe-diarrhea-incident-stage/ 


-------------------------------------------------

: QUESTION OF THE WEEK
  This week: Family Scandals
  
  What skeletons are there in your family's
  collective cupboards? Asks enzyme. Tell us your
  shameful, scurrilous and generally regrettable
  family histories... for laughs
http://b3ta.com/questions/Familyscandals


-------------------------------------------------

: IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Anti Tory Election Posters

  Here's the best images from last week:

  * TORY XP -  Bigger version I done a load of
  anti-tory posters you can download and print
  here: www.toriesout.co.uk
  (spellingmistakescostlives)
http://b3ta.com/board/11228006

  * PRETTY PLEASE -  (HappyToast)
http://b3ta.com/board/11228227

  * SCHLONG & MABEL -  (Smallbrainfield)
http://b3ta.com/board/11227975

  * See all the other images from the 'Anti Tory
  Election Posters' challenge:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/antitory2017


  >> This week: 404 part 2 <<
  We want you to come up with new ideas for the
  B3ta 404 (Page not found) message. We'll take
  the best ones and use them on the site, so it's
  your chance for a little bit of internet fame
  and immortality.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/4042

-------------------------------------------------

: SPONSORED LINK
  HebTroCo - British Made To Last

  Proper Trousers, Boots and Belts made here out
  of proper stuff, Guaranteed for life. 

  Ed and brant went to the pub and even though
  they had no previous experience, they somehow
  decided to start a trouser company. They
  launched on Kickstarter and sold 176 pairs of
  trousers in five hours. That was about a year
  and a bit ago, and they've now got British made
  boots and belts and lots of different trousers
  too.  
https://www.facebook.com/hebtroco
http://www.hebtro.co

  BTW: Yes we're running the ad twice. Old B3tans.
  Click them please.
  
-------------------------------------------------
Follow b3ta on Twitter: 
https://www.twitter.com/b3ta
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TOP TIP: IF YOUR LITTLE BROTHER IS DOING HIS 'OH
SO IMPORTANT' GCSE COURSEWORK... - Access the
autocorrect function in Word, and replace
"Analysis" with "Anal Sex". 9 times out of 10 they
won't notice until they've handed it in. (Furness)
http://b3ta.com/questions/toptips

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REMEMBER: VOTE ON THURSDAY YOU CUNTS!

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