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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 74: "TINY VAMPIRE BOFFINS"

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This Week:
* ANIMATION - Tiny vampire boffins
* GAME - Feed the nine-mouthed baby
* INTERVIEW - Argie handbag bloke

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 74 - 31 Jan 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue74/

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: HUMAN FLEA ANIMATION
  Vampire boffin's quiff ordeal
  
  It's an age-old story. Professor has freak lab
  accident, shrinks to tiny size and is trapped
  on the head of his assistant.

  "It's Incredible Shrinking Man meets Little
  House on the Prairie meets Silence of the
  Lambs," writes animator Wol. And he's not wrong.

  With his absurdist, well-crafted work we think
  this bloke will go far.
http://www.halfgiraffe.com/flea/flea2.html


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: FEED THE NINE-MOUTHED BABY
  Freakish, disturbing, fun

  Yuck. Matazone's latest game makes our skin
  crawl. The concept is simple: feed a child the
  things he asks for. But it's hard to
  concentrate when your instructions emanate
  from such an unnervingly grotesque creation.

  In Victorian times you'd pay good money to see
  something like this. And probably fuck it.
http://www.matazone.co.uk/feed-the-nine-mouthed-baby-game.html


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: ARGIE HANDBAG PHOTOSHOPPER INTERVIEW
  Reclusive web genius tells all

  Carl Baldwin is famous. You might not know
  his name, but you've probably seen his work.
  He made that picture of the Argentinian
  football team with handbags. It went round
  the world. It was in all the newspapers.
  
  Now we've finally got an interview with him.
http://www.b3ta.com/interview/carlbaldwin/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK
  Weebl, Fonts, Stutters, C5, Killers, Moonometer


  >> Weebl Sherlock Holmes <<
  The final episode of 'Bob's Week in
  France' is here at last. And it's a corker.
  An arty pulp detective/Twin Peaks theme this
  time. Most peculiar.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/bobs%20week%20in%20france%20pt7.htm


  >> Extraordinarily Anal Font Quiz <<
  Obsessive about type? Really fancy your
  typographic skills? See if you can tell the
  difference between Arial and Helvetica with
  your naked eye. Derren Wilson's font quiz may
  be as specialised as they can get without being
  incomprehensible to normal humans.
http://www.iliveonyourvisits.com/helvetica/


  >> Gareth Gates Supergroup <<
  UK Pop Idol winner Gareth Gates fronts a
  supergroup of celebrity stutterers in this
  entertaining short video. Hoorah for cheap
  jibes at the afflicted! (Thanks Mr Bongo)
http://mrbongo.uh-hosting.co.uk/garethgates/


  >> Channel 5 Parody <<
  "I made this to show my hatred for those
  bleeding Channel 5 advert thingies",
  writes Jibbed, "I'm getting mad just
  talking about them." We're not sure why he
  cares so much, but he made us laugh.
http://www.magic-carpet.freeserve.co.uk/thb/channel5.html


  >> Gay Dog Game <<
  Breel has followed up his popular "keep a
  kitten warm" page with dressing up game
  for dogs. 
http://www.breel.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/gaydog/


  >> Moonometer <<
  Ever wondered how many penises placed end to
  end it would take to reach the moon? Yes?
  You're odd. But you can find out with this
  useful moon utility which measures such things.
  (Thanks JBoom & Hugo Rune)
http://www.design4online.com/b3ta/moonometer/index.asp


   >> Serial Killer Guessing Game <<
  Monkeon. Oh Monkeon. Each week he sends us stuff
  and we worry for his sanity. This week he's made
  a game where you have to guess whether the next
  number will be higher or lower. But it's based
  on serial killers. Imaginary serial killers.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/kroeger/


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Sock Matching Game <<
  Now this is a thing of wonder and beauty. Drag
  matching pairs of socks together, to tidy up
  the screen. There's a nice payoff for you, once
  you've finished the lot.
http://www.nobodyhere.com/justme/socks.php3


  >> Penis-shaped navel ring <<
  Ladies. Surprise your fella by attaching this
  metal cock to your belly button. Or surprise
  him even more by wearing it in your ear. This
  site features one of the finest animated gifs
  in history.
http://bodypunks.com/BPIBCH195.htm


  >> James Bond Animation <<
  Neil Cicierega created a web genre of bizarre
  videos for Japanese pop tunes, full of pop culture
  references and US comedian Colin Mochrie. This
  charming James Bond video surpasses most other
  imitations through its sheer kinetic energy.
http://home.attbi.com/~dwedit/flash/jamezbond.html


  >> Sound Controlled Platform Game <<
  The latest version of Flash allows for
  microphone input. Sounds dull? It's not. It
  opens a wealth of interesting possibilities in
  making stupid web pages. This one lets you
  control a blob by shouting. It's fantastic and
  will bring your office to a halt. Er.. if you've
  got a microphone, anyway.
http://www.perfectfools.com/projects/crashbaby.html


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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Extinct! Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted things that have become
  extinct for some reason:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/extinct/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'Barry the Time Sprout'
  to judge the entries - here are his 3 faves.

  The Time Sprout writes -

  #1 "Faceless Polar Bear - Great pic, simple
     caption. I think somewhere, John Travola
     is running round with this creature's
     face on. (Darryn.R)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/716880


  #2 "Trolls - I think we've all been guilty of
     this. A well placed spong too.
     (Sickpuppy)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/723776


  #3 "Moon penguins - The poor little blighters
     might still be with us today if the NASA
     boys hadn't run out of golf balls." (shiftClick)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/728832


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, Greenpeace contacted us to ask if
  we'd photoshop for world peace? Of course we
  would. Er.. but we can't promise the results
  will be exactly what they're looking for.
http://b3ta.com/challenge/worldpeace/


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: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * WEEBL DATE LATEST - he's selected a lady and
    they're going out for dinner on the 15th of
    February. She's an air stewardess. More news
    as it happens. 


  * ROCKY THE B3TA CAT - we've uploaded him to
    ratemykitten, but inexplicably he's only
    scored 5. Please vote for him. He may not
    be much to look at, but he's the only cat
    we've got. Next week: buy Rocky on eBay.
http://www.ratemykitten.com/?kitten=39212


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include:

  * War. It's worth it for the oil.

  * Games girls like playing. Pattern-matching
    games such as Tetris & Solitaire, not just
    shooting stuff.

  * Your usual mix of stupid videos, games
    publishers wouldn't touch and animations
    that make us laugh.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel
  with David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Fraser, J Brown,
  Julien Chantefort & Greetz Wouter.
  Image challenge handled, managed and nurtured
  by Mike Trinder. 
  Proofing by the websafe-coloured b4ta minstrels.
  Thanks to Nickstan, the originator of the
  Blue Screen of Death simulator.
  And special thanks to Cal Henderson for being
  the bestest coder in the world.
  (59371)

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