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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 82: "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT"

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This Week:
* PRANK - Sabotaging letters pages
* ANIM - Crap leopard
* TWIGS - Building a boat

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________  ____ __  ___
____/  _)|_  // /_/ _ |      
___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... for Jesus"

B3ta email 82 - 28 Mar 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue82/

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: NEWSPAPER DOGSHIT STUNT
  Trolling the letters page for kicks

  CCC writes -

  "Me and my mates have been sending letters to
  our local paper, the Kent & Sussex Courier,
  about dog crap.

  "We wanted to see how many different variations
  of the term 'dog poo' would get printed."

  He's caused utter chaos - hijacking the letters
  page for a whole month.

  We love this shit.
http://b3ta.com/board/952321


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: ROBOTS LOVE THEIR MUMMIES TOO 
  Baby Robots vs. Kraftwerk 

  Rob Manuel writes -

  "Me and Weebl have just done a job for
  lastminute.com

  "We've written a song and made an animation
  to remind people that it's Mother's Day
  on Sunday.

  "It's very cute and will make you cry. 
  And buy holidays."
http://www.mumbot.com/


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: B3TA PARTY - 7:30pm, 11th April 2003

  We're holding a party in Central London. It's
  your chance to meet the UK's premier web gods.
  Us. It'll be great. Plus there will be drink.
  Lovely drink. 
http://b3ta.com/party/easter.gif


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: HE MADE A BOAT! 
  With twigs and branches.

  Dr_Fonz writes -  

  "A friend of mine has a river running through
  his garden. After staying up all night watching
  Deliverance I decided I had to tackle the river
  - so last weekend I went out there and built a
  boat with nothing but sticks."

  And it's fantastic. Although we can't say that 
  Deliverance made us want to go anywhere in
  a boat.

  Next week: hillbilly bumrape.
http://www.worldofkings.com/boat/


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Grr Lion, Printer Death, More Weebl & Squirrels

  >> Nature Documentary Animation <<
  You may remember Dan Chambers for his slick and
  funny pygmy shrew cartoon some while ago. He
  writes, "I've posted a new animation on my site,
  featuring a new animal." That animal is the
  Mourning Leopard. Hark to its tragic tale.
http://danchambers.stodge.org/index.php?file=leopard


  >> Printer Roulette <<
  "I thought I'd set myself a challenge to make
  a game using a printer as its basis," writes
  Monkeon, "It's a cross between Russian
  Roulette and Truth or Dare." Gosh. Monkeon
  has excelled himself this time in making a
  game that's conceptually brilliant, but still
  somehow... wrong.
http://www.monkeon.co.uk/printerroulette/


  >> New Weebl: Crusty <<
  Weebl is back. And so is Bob. Yay. This one
  features Weebl singing. So be warned: He sings
  like an incontinent tramp.
http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/crusty.html


  >> Squirrel Band <<
  We get to see a lot of animal bands. A lot. But
  this one stands out as particularly pleasing.
  Cute little squirrels playing the harmonica -
  what could be better? 
http://djol.8bit.co.uk/b3ta/ogst.html


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: THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO W00T
  World's most powerful handheld games machine 

  We've spent the last two days playing with a
  GamePark32 - a Korean handheld games console.

  It can do a decent job of emulating a Gameboy,
  ZX Spectrum, PC Engine, NES, Game Gear and
  a Commodore 64.

  It also plays MP3s and has a stab at playing
  DivX movies, too.

  It's like a retro gaming iPod.

  Should you get one? Yes. For £100 it's about
  the same price as a Gameboy and a lot more
  fun. Sheesh. You don't have to pay for the
  games - you can just nick them from internet.
http://www.gbax.com/gp32review.html


-------------------------------------------------

: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Best Gay Sites in the World ... Ever! <<
  Through the years running b3ta we've featured
  several sites that are frankly gay. We're 
  very pleased that a nice man called Gaz6969
  has picked up on the material to make a top
  ten. He's saved us the job of doing it
  ourselves. Huzzah.
http://www.100free.com/t/top10gayestwebsites/


  >> Disgusting 1970s Food <<
  "I found these Weight Watchers recipe cards
  while helping my parents clean out their
  basement," writes Wendy M, "Plenty of the
  dishes seemed normal enough, but as I flipped
  through them, some of the recipes began to
  alarm me." Blimey. We'd rather eat poo than
  go on this diet.
http://www.poundy.com/wwcards.html


  >> Nostalgia for TV Nerds <<
  Young people today will hardly believe how
  shit TV graphics were years ago. But young
  people today have apples for brains. Old TV
  stuff is beautiful, as this collection of 
  vintage channel idents plainly shows.
http://625.uk.com/tv_logos/flash.htm


  >> Crap Cat Photoshopping <<
  Imagine force-feeding your favourite celebs 
  catfood. Perhaps they'd develop lovely shiny
  pelts like these. Gwen Stefani is badly in need
  of a wax - but she has a nice wet shiny nose. 
http://users.transfur.com/werekatt/photo/feline/feline.htm


  >> Retro Games in Your Browser <<
  Like 80s video games? Take the rest of the
  afternoon off and geek out to these babies.
  Here comes the science bit: They've managed
  to port the MAME emulator to Java which means
  you can play BombJack and 1942 in your
  browser without any nasty instally stuff.
  And that's bad. Meaning good.
http://cottage.emuunlim.com/screens_org.htm


  >> Mario Shotgun Massacre <<
  Nintendo protect their image very carefully
  and have never made a game where Mario holds
  a gun. They'll utterly hate this. Good. Bunch 
  of hippy cunts.
http://www.burstfilms.com/games/smr.swf


  >> Safeway Clubcard Skullduggery <<
  Your supermarket clubcard helps them build up
  a profile of you and what you buy. Why not fuck
  up their system by pretending to be someone
  else... someone called Rob? This US prank
  is meant to build up his clubcard profile to
  make him the ultimate shopper. If someone
  fancies trying this idea in the UK then
  we'd like to hear from them.
http://www.cockeyed.com/pranks/safeway/ultimate_shopper.html


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: 15 SECONDS OF STUPID
  Short things from b3ta people

  >> Hedgehog Holiday << 
  "Nothing much happens," writes Joel Veitch,
  "it's just happy little baby hedgehogs on their
  way to have a holiday on their inflatable plane,
  listening to happy music." Lovely.
http://www.rathergood.com/hedgehogs/


  >> Who Does Steve Love? << 
  Steve is young, fresh and gingerish. What does
  it take to catch this young hunk's eye? (Cheers
  Jonneh.)
http://www.dementedpanda.com/files/flash/stevepics.swf


  >> Your Stuff Here << 
  We're interested in seeing what you can do
  with 15 seconds of stupid. Short is good.
  Stupid is best. Send your links to
  http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/


-------------------------------------------------

: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Seaside Amusement Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted "Seaside Amusements"
http://www.b3ta.com/challenge/amusements/

  We asked B3ta boarder SirSandGoblin to judge 
  the entries - here are his 3 faves.

  SirSandGoblin writes -

  #1 "Win a Gourd. There could really be no
     other winner. Let's face it, I love
     gourds. (Hanrahan)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/950444

  #2 "Cup of tea simulator. I like cups of
     tea and I like simulators. This ride
     has it all. (MrFancyteeth)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/965135

  #3 "I would love this seaside attraction
     to exist. I would sell my parents for
     it. (Andy206)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/961039

  ## "I'd just like to add that Cheeky Boy gets
     the wooden spoon, for claiming that twins
     are creepy. Being a twin, I was none too
     happy with that comment and immediately went
     into the garden to fly a kite at night.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/960305


  >> This Week's Challenge <<

  This week, we've set the "Dictatorship Challenge"
  with the suggestion, "If Hitler Won The War ..."
http://b3ta.com/challenge/if-hitler-had-won-the-war/


-------------------------------------------------

: WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?
  Follow-ups on previous stories.

  * SOCKS REUNITED - a few weeks ago we mentioned
    a site which tried to match up orphaned socks.
    Steve writes,  "After a long wait we have
    finally reunited a pair of socks!" Wow. Well
    done Steve. We hope the good work continues.
http://www.lonelysocks.co.uk


  * BUFFY'S SWEARING KEYBOARD BIG DOWN UNDER - 
    it was featured on New Zealand TV show Space,
    to rave reviews. 'Sweet as', apparently.
    "More dramatically," writes Ciaran, "my pal
    Myles lost his yearly bonus at Christchurch
    City Council thanks to the W key, his new
    speakers and atrocious timing."
http://b3ta.com/buffyswear/


  * B3TA PICS REACH THE STREET - Board member
    bobodor has been contacted by environmental
    protestors who wanted to use one of his
    photoshop challenge pics - consequently it's
    going to be featured in a San Francisco
    exhibition called The Art of Protest.
http://www.b3ta.com/board/963163 


  * WEEBL DATE UPDATE - Mike Pickens asks,
    "Can you tell me why Weebl's date was
    never covered?" Yes we can. It's because the
    girl pulled out due to family illness and
    Weebl met a new girl down the pub. She's
    very nice and Weebl is very happy. 


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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * RATEMYHITLER.COM - why doesn't this site
    exist? Why? Maybe you can help. Look! We've
    got the logo:
http://www.b3ta.com/board/965624

  * DIY TATTOOS - why not make a tattoo
    gun with a biro and a 9 volt battery,
    film it and show us the results? Points
    for artistic merit and location.

  * THROWING BATTERIES INTO FIRES - we've
    always been warned not to do it. Fuck
    knows why, it sounds great.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by Andy T, Oddboy of Manchester
  and Tetra Grammaton.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Image challenge handled by Denise Wilton.
  Proofing by the ZX b4ta 81s. (61601)

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