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NEWSLETTER: ISSUE 94:"LOCAL NEWSPAPER PRINTS GOATSE"

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This Week:
* STUNT - Goatse in the papers
* VIDEO - Sesame Street Pinball Song
* REVIEWS - All music is shit

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___/  _ |/_ </ __/ __ |      "We're saving the
__/____/____/\__/_/ |_|       web ... together"

B3ta email 94 - 27 Jun 2003

Read this issue in your browser:
http://b3ta.com/newsletter/issue94/

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: GOATSE IN THE NEWSPAPERS
  And they thought it was children's art

  OK - this is going to take a bit of background
  to explain... Goatse is possibly the foulest
  image ever put on the internet: a man pulling
  open his anus so wide that you could stick a
  child's head in it.

  The image became famous after trolls - people
  who like to wind up messageboards - started
  linking to it on every board under the sun.

  And that's where we come in. BoyT has painted
  a version of the image, and submitted to his
  local paper and got it printed. Yay. 
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1471040

  BTW: If you need more context then search for
  goatse on google. It's really too icky for
  us to link to from the newsletter.


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: WHAT B3TA PEOPLE HAVE BEEN MAKING THIS WEEK 
  Sesame Street, Mutants, Crap Reviews & Shit tv


  >> Pinball Song/Video <<
  Thorpe has made a lovely track sampling
  The Pinball Song from Sesame Street. A friend
  of his has made a video featuring the footage
  that accompanied it on the show. It's great,
  a funky nostalgia fest.
http://freespace.virgin.net/gordon.robertson/pinballsongv3.wmv


 >> Mutant animals<<
  The creatures that live in HumanDescent's head
  may frighten you. He's one of b3ta's most
  prolific Photoshop artists, producing bizarre
  little masterpieces every single day. It's past
  time his online gallery/zoo got a mention
  from us here.
http://www.humandescent.com/index2.shtml


  >> All music is shit <<
  Chthonic is an angry, angry man. He's listened to
  all the same music you have and he hates it. Go
  on, try him out by typing in the name of a band or
  record you like.  His indiscriminate bile-filled ranting
  will amuse you.
http://www.chthonicionic.net/bile/


  >> Star Wars Vs. Village People <<
  Ever wondered what the storm troopers get up to on
  their Saturday nights? B3ta newcomer Johnny B Goode
  has made this Flash vid to show you. Apparently they
  dance to dodgy old disco. Like everyone else.
http://snurl.com/1o9z


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: SITES IN BRIEF 
  Stuff we like that wasn't made by our mates.

  >> Salt maze for slugs <<
  Wooooo. Perhaps the ultimate extreme sport for slugs.
  Can the slug make it out alive? We would try this at
  home, but frankly it's mean. Also, slugs are icky and we'd
  have to get our mum to come round and help us.
http://www.livejournal.com/~theteague/8200.html


  >> Notes on the fridge <<
  Ah, the joys of shared houses. A whole bunch of
  strangers knowing your wanking habits. This
  concerned letter will bring back those memories.
  Or perhaps give you bad ideas.
http://home.pi.be/~freddes/pictures/fridge.jpg


  >> 13 PC flight sim <<
  Jesus wept. This bloke likes his flight sims. He's
  connected 13 monitors and 9 PCs together to get
  the ultimate cockpit view. He must be single. But
  imagine watching porn on it. Mmm. Cockpit.
http://members.chello.nl/~s.ferris/


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: GENITAL CORNER
  Because we love cock

  >> Truck Testes <<
  Show that you're a real man by having metal
  balls attached to your car. 
http://www.bumpernuts.com/


   >> Photograph your cock <<
  Lizzie is doing a comedy show in Edinburgh,
  and she needs photos of your knob. In a dress.
  If you've got one, and who hasn't, help her out.
  Send it to her. No jeans or trainers though.
http://www.grayblog.co.uk/cockinafrock.html


  >> Scrotum Electric Shock <<
  Bollocks plus massive electrical shock plus
  fucking stupidity plus video camera equals ouch.
  Not much more to be said about this one, really. So
  a minute of silence for all the dead sperm please.
http://pics.turboflux.net/numbnuts.mpeg



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: B3TA IMAGE CHALLENGE
  Results from the Baddies Turned Good Challenge

  Each week we run a competition to test your
  creative skills. We set a challenge and you
  open Photoshop and mess with our heads.

  Last week we wanted baddies that had turned good:
http://b3ta.com/challenge/baddies/

  We asked B3ta boarder 'sigsy' to judge the
  entries - here are his 3 faves.

  Sigsy writes -


  #1 "Something's wrong with the gun's transmission -
     A great idea, well executed and very funny.
     (Kerouac)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1452497

  #2 "Use the... - Made me laugh with a great punchline,
     nice camera pan animation as well. (Mystery Bob)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1427857

  #3 "UN Stormtroopers - Very clever, excellent definition
     and the lighting/reflection is skillfully done."
     (Gabba)
http://www.b3ta.com/board/1426339


  >> This Weeks Challenge <<

  This week, the challenge dictator was back to give us
  the suggestion, "International Smoking Day"
http://b3ta.com/challenge/smoking/



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: STAR IN NEXT WEEK'S ISSUE

  Make something cool and tell us about it. If
  you are in it then people will see your stuff.

  Things we'd really like to see include

  * MUCKING ABOUT WITH LOCAL NEWSPAPERS - we love
    this stuff. Can you compete with CCC and BoyT?

  * INTERNATIONALSWEARINGDAY.COM  - we're not
    hearing enough foul language at the mo.
    Sort it out.

  * INTERVIEWS - are you famous? Get in touch.

  Send contributions to http://www.b3ta.com/mailus/

  BTW: If you've sent something in that hasn't
  been featured then don't be put off - we look
  at everything you send us.


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  THANKS: 

  This issue was edited by Rob Manuel with 
  David Stevenson.
  Links sent in by freddes, Leighbert

  Luke/barnes design & Nancy Higgins.
  Additional linkage by Fraser Lewry.
  Board research by Fnord.
  Top Tippery by Little Miss Stainfree.
  Image challenge handled by Mike Trinder.
  Proofing by the sleepy b4ta kittens. (68000)

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  TIP:

  If you dye your hair and the colour stains your
  hairline, simply mix up some fag ash along with
  some cheap cologne. Rub this mixture on your
  skin using a cotton bud and it will remove
  99.9% guaranteed. (It's the carbon in the ash
  and the alcohol in the cologne.)

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